A/N: sorry guys, I always forget to put notes in my fanfics. It's all because I'm really forgetful and clumsy. I feel really insecure about my writings, so I want to say HUGE THANK YOU for everyone reading, reviewing, favouriting and following this story. It means a lot to me. Especially since I'm not confident about all this. You're a bunch of cutest and sweetest cupcakes I've ever met/seen/read about! ^/^ Also, I am sincerely sorry for updating once in millennium – it's just that my muses suddenly decides to screw around with me n I know this story has a lot of plot holes and is pretty much unrealistic, so THANK YOU AGAIN for bearing with me *bows*

Take care little birdies!

~DramaticChipmunk*

Build you up just to watch you fall.

I rolled around in my sheets. I couldn't close my eyes for longer than it's necessary to blink. I kept thinking about what we talked with Ichigo. My throat felt dry. We talked for so long.

Well, I met Nel at the school in which I did my practice as a teacher. The school was majorly attended by kids from orphanage. No one is bothered with order there, if you want to know my opinion. Even school headmaster herself didn't give two shits about quality of education or kids behavior at her own school. Those children are looked down at. Disgusting society judges them and puts labels on them, such as 'no future', 'rude', 'obviously behaves like an animal from jungle' and so on.

You should have seen the expression he made. Pure silent rage. His lips were transformed into thin line; they were white from the strong pressure. Eyebrows furrowed much much more than usual, eyes narrowed, radiating anger. All his face looked like Ichigo is losing control over himself and is about to set the whole society on fire.

Nel impressed me on the very first time we've met.

Instantly his face softened. I wish he'd make that face when talking about me. I can't believe this, the great Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez is jealous of a child.

I wonder, though, what he looks like when talking about me.

I had to substitute one kindergarten teacher that day. I remember stepping through the threshold, saying 'hello class 'and in their chirpy response, a mixture of so many different little voices my ears picked one, that was so full of joy, seemed like the owner of that voice just reached enlightenment while swimming in the pool full of milk chocolate. My eyes instantly found the source and I saw the girl with the happiest face I've ever seen. Her posture, her eyes, everything radiated pure joy but not that annoying, you know, that usual for kids, no, it was different. It looked like her smile affects and infects other children around her. And she was super smart. I was impressed, to say at least. Not even one, not even smallest detail slipped past her eyes, she remembered everything I told her. In short, after meeting her more times I started to go to see her daily. And I found myself completely head over heels for this young lady.

Ichigo ruffled Nel's hair playfully. She flushed and giggled.

'Awwww stop it, Itsygo'

He just smiled at her softly.

'Ok, Nel, I think it's time for you to go to sleep, ne?'

I thought she'll start protesting and whining like many children of her age but Neliel surprised me again. She grinned widely, kissed Ichigo on the cheek (I swear to whatever higher power there is, my guts are green with jealousy.) and left the room. Few moments later we heard her clattering in the bathroom and then in her bedroom. Few minutes later all those sounds stopped – Nel probably was sleeping. Ichigo turned his eyes to me and started talking again.

'I sent Nel to sleep for a reason. She most likely knows this because, as I mentioned, she's very smart girl and notices details that grownups can't see.'

I mentally chuckled. I noticed her noticing.

So, as I said, I got attached to her and after a year I decided that I want to adopt her. I know it looks too fast but for me it felt as if I've known her for the whole life. And that's when the shit started to go down. At first it was ok. Sure, load of papers, tests, verifications, more papers… after five months I finally was done with that stuff! Finally, I and Nel were together. But then our idyll started to crumble. Somehow, they found out I was gay. I swear to motherfucking god, society is wicked. It's ok for child to be with abusive but heterosexual parents but god forbid there's normal loved and loving homosexual parent. Anyway, after few courts and tons of psychologists' talks with Nel, they decided that I make an appropriate parent. However, we still had to move out of that town because I started to receive warnings and threats from local homophobes and one day Nel came back from school with scraped knees; she got pushed onto the ground because she 'was living with a faggot'.

He gritted his teeth. Or I did. Society, those thick headed homophobes. They say that we're evil/freaks/have no morals. I wonder.

After that I and Nel moved in Tokyo, in that apartment, where you probably met Rukia.

I should have stopped him there. Because in that case I could sleep now normally. My blood wouldn't be boiling with rage. I wouldn't be so angry at myself. Honestly, I want to punch my eyes out with a dick. Woah there. Ok. I shouldn't think when I'm sleepy. I get weird.

But I really shouldn't have let him go on that day seven years ago.