Hellooo

So, yeah, I know I've been gone a while. Sorry?

I blame writer's block. I was halfway through this chapter, and I realized that what I was originally doing, the original plot for the story, wasn't working anymore. So I thought about re-writing everything, starting from scratch, but I don't have the time OR the energy for that, so I'm just going to keep on writing and make a new plot along the way. Which I decided was fine, because it's not like this is a story I can publish or whatever, and I'm just doing this for fun. So yeah, forgive the crappy chapter, it took me like six months to write haha

Enjoy!:)

We sat outside, our backs against the wall. Balls of fire kept flashing across the sky, and I could feel Latimer flinch every time one of them exploded.

We didn't say a word.

I felt immensely uncomfortable. My thoughts were too jumbled. Here I was, sitting with Martha, who was apparently in love with the last Time Lord, now a human, that had kissed me. But it was the human version that had kissed me. Not him. And I had no idea how I felt about it. If it even made a difference. John barely knew me, and yet, he had kissed me. He was probably confusing the few dreams he had about me with the Doctor, and that was the reason he'd done so. Nothing more. And the Doctor…

Well, if he did remember, I doubted he'd even mention it. Ignore whatever happened. Especially with what Martha admitted. Yes, it was in his best interest to not even remember a thing.

Oh, what a mess.

I tasted blood in my mouth. I brushed my thumb over my lower lip, wincing as I saw it smeared with blood. I'd bitten through skin.

How long was it since I was last kissed? Shakespeare ran through my mind, but I skipped over him. Really kissed? By someone I cared about? Who cared about me?

Way too long. Sixty-one years, to be exact.

Not that I was counting.

Latimer flinched again. Martha, who was on his other side, drew her arms around the boy. He hugged her back, probably relieved.

This was so stupid. We shouldn't be here, just sitting, watching balls of fire destroy everything in their path as if they were just shooting stars. We should be out there doing something, anything, to stop this. Not just waiting around, waiting for the idiot of a man to decide to do the right thing.

Another ball of fire. This time, I flinched right along with Timothy. It had been closer than the last ones.

What did this kiss mean? Should it mean anything? Did I even want it to?

The answer surprised me. No, I didn't want it to mean anything. For one, John wasn't even real. Who he thought he was… he wasn't. He wasn't the Doctor. Just a shell.

And the Doctor… I couldn't imagine him caring for me romantically. For anyone, really. He was way too private. I barely knew him.

It suddenly made sense in my head. The kiss was nothing. It would not happen again. I would pretend it never happened. Not just for myself. But for the Doctor. And Martha.

Hours seemed to pass by before the door was finally flung open, and John, followed by the nurse, stepped out.

"Well?" I tried, the question barely coming out.

John didn't look at me, at any of us, "I know what I have to do."

We waited, but nothing else followed.

"So tell us then," Martha insisted.

He shrugged, and I saw that his hands kept playing with the fob watch. "I'm giving them what they want."

He finally looked up, and his eyes looked straight at mine. I swallowed, perplexed. Something was different, and yet, nothing was. Without another word, he winked, turning around and heading towards the forest.

He winked.

Did he think this was funny? That all of our fates didn't rest on his hands? That he wasn't our only hope?

My teeth clenched in anger as I glowered at his rapidly retreating back. Who did he think he was to-

A hand on my shoulder stopped me from following him. My head snapped to the side, meeting Joan's eyes. Something I saw there confused me. She looked so broken. Her eyes shone with tears she hadn't yet shed. Her shoulders were slumped; her lower lip trembled ever so slightly.

"Let him go. He's doing the right thing."

She said it as if he was doing the worst thing he could have ever done, as if he wasn't doing the right thing. At least, not for her. But that would mean-

I looked back at his shadow, rapidly disappearing, and I noticed what I hadn't seen before. There was a light bounce to his step, his back was no longer slumped, and his hands were buried deep in his coat's pockets. The way he walked, like he knew what he was doing, even if I knew for a fact that he never really did. My breath hitched in my throat.

The Doctor was back.

As if he knew I'd figured it out, he stopped and turned around. He was too far away by now for me to properly see his face, but I knew what his eyes probably looked like.

The spark was back, and he was enjoying it.

He disappeared through the trees, and I felt like my breath rushed out after him. He was back, back, back, back.

My eyes jumped to Martha's, and I could see she hadn't figured it out yet. "But what is he doing?" She asked.

A laugh bubbled through my lips. She looked at me, puzzled.

"He's back, Martha." I grinned. "He's back!"

She blinked. "What? Do you mean, do you mean the Doctor?"

"Yes!" I turned, trying to tone down the excitement as I looked towards Joan. "He is, isn't he?"

She nodded, her eyes on me but her mind far away. "He opened the watch, and-" She swallowed, her stare finally focusing. "It looked so very painful. And his eyes," She lifted a hand, delicately covering her mouth, trying to choke down a sob we all sensed coming. "His eyes changed so much. He's not the same man. Not at all."

I cringed; the same words that gave me hope were destroying her. "He is, and I am so very sorry for it."

The sob finally escaped. She turned around, heading back towards the stone house. The pause that followed was uncomfortable, even Timothy wouldn't look at us.

"Well, now what?" Martha finally asked. "Do we just wait or…"

I bit my lip; looking at the last place I'd seen the Doctor. "He didn't tell us to follow him… barely acknowledged us actually."

Another uncomfortable pause, this time Martha looked embarrassed. I had the suspicion I looked flushed as well. She was probably thinking about her early outburst. How she told him she loved him. I could only think of the kiss.

Dammit. Why had it all suddenly turned so complicated?

I shook my head, trying to disperse my thoughts. I grabbed Martha's arm, tugging her towards the woods, "Well, what are you waiting for?" I asked her, digging up a grin. "We need to catch up!"

We broke into a run, crashing past bushes and branches, trying not to fall. We didn't stop until we came upon an empty clearing. I looked around, confused and out of breath.

"Where did he-"

Martha gasped "Did you see that?"

"What?"

"There!" She pointed at the middle of the clearing.

I squinted, trying to see. It was dark, and the only light we had was the moon's. I was just a bout to give up when I saw it. A flash of green. In the shape of a spaceship.

"Did you see it?" Martha asked.

I nodded, frowning. "Yeah. It's their spaceship. The Doctor must be inside."

Another flash of green, longer that the last one.

"Maybe he's doing that." Martha said, biting her lip. "Do you think he's in trouble?"

I snorted. "It's the Doctor. Of course he's in trouble."

The spaceship materialized into view, and I watched in surprise as a tall, lanky figure appeared outside. The Doctor instantly started running away from the spaceship, and it was only second until three other figures –the family- followed. One last flash of green, and then the clearing exploded with light.

Martha and I were blown back by the force of the explosion, and it took me a few seconds in the ground to make sense of what had happened.

The clearing was alight with flames, pieces of the ship were strewn around, but otherwise, it seemed completely empty.

The ship was gone.

It was over.

It was finally over.

Things would finally return to normal.

Or would they?

What happened next was a blur. A very awkward, confusing blur. The Doctor didn't stop moving, and for all intents and purposes, he cut off any kind of communication with both of his companions. Not in a mean way… he just seemed to be unavailable at the time.

Which created the awkward confusion for us.

Not that I particularly wanted to talk to him. He was back. He was the Doctor. But he was angry. I could see it in his eyes, the storm brewing behind a stony expression. It scared me, so much anger in such a powerful man. He was not happy with the family. And this time, there was no mercy.

He'd stepped into the TARDIS with the family in tow. Nothing that he did or said gave any kind of indication that he wanted us to go with him. So we didn't. Even as I watched with a sinking feeling how he closed the blue door behind him, without ever looking back. So we waited a little bit more.

I later found out that he had wrapped the father in unbreakable chains, forged in the heart of a dwarf star, and pushed into a pit. He tricked the mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy, to be imprisoned there forever. He trapped the sister into every mirror. Blaine, the brother, was the only one he came back with, and he was suspended in time as a scarecrow, forced to stand over the fields of England, protecting them.

When he came back from the fields, he did not say a word. He skirted around us, but for a second, a small second, our eyes met.

I felt my tension ebb away. He wasn't calm, not even close, but the storm had raged and passed. We were in the clear.

A brief nod – the only actual interaction that acknowledged that he still remembered us - and he waked past us and into the cottage, where I knew Joan waited. I felt sorry for the woman, but there was nothing we could do to help. She probably wouldn't want us even trying.

"Is it done?"

I blinked, recognizing Joan's voice. I was leaning against the stone cottage, the open window beside me. Martha stood a few feet to my left, her arms wrapped around herself. Her eyes met mine in surprise. They were in the room on the other side of the wall.

"It's done," was the Doctor's tense response.

"The police and the army are at the school. The parents have come to take the boys home. I should go. They'll have so many questions. I'm not sure what to say." She paused. "Oh, you look the same. Goodness, you must forgive my rudeness. I find it difficult to look at you. Doctor, I must call you Doctor. Where is he? John Smith?"

A sigh. "He's in here somewhere."

"Like a story. Could you change back?"

"Yes," He said.

"Will you?"

Martha frowned, but I wasn't worried.

"No."

We'd heard enough. It was a private moment, and they reserved more respect. I took Martha by the arm, leading her through the woods and out to the fields I had come to know so well the last few months we were stranded her. Halfway to the TARDIS, it started to rain.

I sighed as Martha started muttering curses under her breath. We reached the blue box, but neither of us went inside. It felt… strange without the Doctor. So we waited in silence, until we saw his lanky figure making his way through the mud.

His mouth hitched up as he saw us, but it was easy to see through it, the guilt and the disappointment that hunched his shoulders.

"Right then," he said. "Molto bene."

I bit my lip, not liking the resigned sound of his voice.

"How was she?" Martha asked.

"Time we moved on."

"If you want, I could go and-"

The Doctor looked at her, stopping Martha with a look. "Time we moved on."

But none of us moved. I felt like Martha still needed to say something. I looked away, seeing another figure making his way towards us through the rain. I squinted, realizing it was Timothy.

"Er," Martha finally started. "I meant to say, back there, last night. I would have said anything to get you to change."

The Doctor waved her off. "Oh yeah, of course you would. Yeah."

"I mean, I wasn't really-"

Saying you were in love with him?

The Doctor shook his head. "Oh, no, no."

Of course not.

"Good."

"Fine."

I tried hiding my smile. Both of them were idiots. Lying idiots. But I missed them, the three of us, together.

Martha clasped her hands awkwardly. "So here we are then."

The Doctor looked equally awkward. "There we are yes." He paused, scratching his head, quickly glancing at me before looking away. "And I never said. Thanks for looking after me."

The Doctor moved, and, before I knew it, he was hugging Martha. I felt my eyebrows rise on my own. How very uncharacteristic of him.

His eyes met mind over Martha's shoulder, and I looked away. Damn that kiss. I focused instead on the fast approaching figure of the lad.

"Timothy." I greeted, grinning.

Martha and the Doctor turned around, surprised.

"Tim Timothy Timber." The Doctor said, and I felt my grin get wider. He was back to sounding like the Doctor. He was back to finally being the Doctor. It would take a while until that thrill disappeared.

"I just wanted to say goodbye." The boy said. "And thank you. Because I've seen the future and I now know what must be done. It's coming, isn't it? The biggest war ever."

Martha shook her head. "You don't have to fight."

"I think we do."

"But you could get hurt."

He smiled. "But, so could you, travelling around with him, but it's not going to stop you." He looked at me. "Either of you."

The Doctor reached into his pocket, taking out the fob watch. He reached out, giving it to Timothy.

"Tim, I'd be honored if you'd take this."

The boy picked it up, running his fingers over it, and frowned. "I can't hear anything."

The Doctor shook his head. "No, it's just a watch now. But keep it with you, for good luck."

Martha smiled at Timothy, giving him a hug. "Look after yourself."

I ruffled his hair. "Be careful, yeah?" He nodded, running his hand over his now tussled hair and smiling.

Martha and I stepped into the TARDIS, and the Doctor grinned back at the boy. "You'll like this bit."

Stepping into the TARDIS was like taking a huge weight of my shoulders. My steps became lighter and I felt like I could breathe easier. It was over. It was finally over.

The Doctor headed towards the console, his hands moving through the well-practiced dance, pushing buttons and pulling down levers. The TARDIS rumbled to life, disappearing into time and space.

"Ladies!" The Doctor exclaimed, grinning. "Go change into something nice, yeah? We have a war memorial to go to!"

Martha disappeared down the corridor, an extra bounce to her steps. A hand on my shoulder stopped me before I could follow. I froze, feeling my nerves spike and my heartbeat slip. I turned, meeting his eyes. The grin was gone, replaced by awkwardness.

"Kylie-"

I stepped to the side, slipping under his arm. I watched it fall uselessly to his side, and my heartbeat returned to normal. I frowned, knowing I had not felt like this with John.

The words were out before I could stop them. "Let's just forget it, yeah? It was just a kiss. A kiss with a man that doesn't really exist. It never really happened."

My words rang true, and my nerves settled. John and the Doctor were not the same man. No need to be awkward about this.

The way my body seemed to respond to the Doctor, well, that was another matter. One I would not think about until later. Much later.

A pause. His face was unreadable. "Okay."

"Good." I nodded, allowing a small smile. "I'll go change, but when I'm back, everything's gonna be back to normal, and we're never mentioning this again."

He returned the smile. "Hurry up then. Timmy's not waiting forever."

I scoffed, turning around and heading towards my room. "Please. You can travel through time. Timmy can wait."

He laughed. "I can't! You girls take too long changing."

I paused, turning on my heel. "Doctor, you just made me wait for you for months. You can never complain about me taking too long again, is that clear?"

I continued on my way, his laugh bouncing off the walls of the TARDIS.

It was good to be back.