A/N I know Hagrid's manner of speaking could be a bit confusing. If it's too confusing, please tell me and I'll re-write it in proper English. I have also decided to delete Harry Potter and the Bite and upload the rewritten version. You probably guessed that when I renamed the original "Going to be deleted". Sorry for the long wait. I do not own the rights to Harry Potter. They belong to J K Rowling and I highly doubt she will ever give them to me. Maybe she'll share?

Chapter 3 - Potions

2nd September 1991 2:37 PM Library, Hogwarts

"How on earth is that man a teacher?!?" Madam Pince hissed at Dudley to be quiet. Harry, Ron and Neville looked up at Dudley in surprise. Harry asked who Dudley meant. "Snape!"

"Shh!"

"He absolutely hates me!"

"If you can't be quiet, you will have to leave!"

"It's ridiculous! You guys saw how he was picking on me!" The other Badgers responses would have to wait as Madam Pince practically chased them out of the library.

The Badgers lead them to the kitchens. "We can talk here, but we need to find our own room to hang out in. Shame we're not all in the same House. We'd be able to just use the Common Room then."

Dudley agreed with Hannah. "Yeah, we do need to find a room to use. But you guys saw how Snape was picking on me, right?" The Badgers all nodded and confirmed that Snape picked on Dudley more than anyone else in the room.

Ernie turned to Harry. "Father was in the same year as Professor Snape. So was your father, Harry. Father told me that Severus Snape and James Potter loathed one another. Father often described Professor Snape as petty. Professor Snape will probably treat you the same as Dudley, if not worse." Everyone else agreed with Ernie's assumption.

3rd September 1991 12:20 PM Great Hall, Hogwarts

Harry, Ron and Neville were frantically studying Potions. Their Hufflepuff friends had informed them that Snape liked to quiz students on the first lesson. The older Hufflepuff's backed this up and told them that he especially hated Gryffindor's. Ron's older twin brothers had backed them up. Percy the Prat would never say anything bad about a Professor. Harry was studying even harder than the other two. He didn't want to give Snape an excuse to pick on him. He knew he'd be picked on, but he wanted to stop Snape from having an excuse with the other teachers. He'd soon learn that it wouldn't matter how much studying he did for Snape. He would still be picked on. The Badger's were working on their Potions homework. 13 inches on the properties and uses of the Cure for Boils Potion.

"Mr Potter. Mr Dursley. Good to see you both working hard on your studies." Dudley and Harry looked up. Professor Dumbledore was smiling down at them. "The rest of you, too. 15 points and 25 points to Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, respectively, for taking studies seriously. I have brought letters for the two of you from Vernon and Petunia." He handed each of them a letter. "Good day."

Ron, Neville and the Badgers looked at Harry and Dudley nervously. "How'd they take it?" Asked Susan.

Dudley smiled. "Alright. I mean, they're angry I was in a fight, but they understand why I was. And they seem to be pleased that Harry helped me out."

"Yeah. They want me to avoid Malfoy where possible, which is exactly what I was going to do. They also told me to try to protect Dudley more." Hannah was annoyed by that.

"'Protect Dudley more'? You couldn't have done anything else. Seriously, I don't think there was physically anything else you could have done. You got your head split open and had to spend the night in the infirmary! Are they at least grateful for everything you did?"

Dudley defended his parents. "They are grateful! Harry, they mentioned that they were surprised that you bothered to help me with the way I've treated you in the past. They didn't explicitly say it, but I can tell they are grateful for the efforts you made. You got hurt trying to help me and I can tell that mum is concerned with your head injury. I'm not sure about dad. He tends to not let anyone know his feelings whenever possible. Or at least, his girly feelings."

Susan and Hannah rounded on Dudley. "What do you mean: 'girly feelings'?"

Dudley could tell he'd made a mistake. "Er, uh. You know, sadness, concern, love, worry. You know, weak feelings that men aren't supposed to have." Dudley wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. If he was, he'd have known to say literally anything but that. Both girls viciously berated him for his idiocy throughout the rest of lunch.

3rd September 1991 1:33 PM Dungeons, Hogwarts

"So, who'll work with who?"

Ron looked at Neville. "Flip a Knut?"

"Sure." Ron pulled out a Knut. "Heads." Ron tossed the Knut into the air. As it came down, a hand snatched it away.

"Mind if I take a look at this, Weasley?" The three Gryffindors glared at the sneering face of the boy who was quickly becoming their most hated person. That would soon change. "I've never seen a Knut before. My family only has use for Galleons, you see. Dear Merlin! It has a goat on it? How repulsive."

Ron glared at the blond. "Shove off, Malfoy."

Malfoy smirked. "Hit a nerve, did I? Well, this has been fun. I'd better give you this back, Weasley. After all, it is your entire family's money for the year." Harry and Neville grabbed Ron to stop him from jumping on Malfoy.

"Potter! Weasley! Longbottom! No fighting! You're wizards! Act like it! Fifteen points from Gryffindor!" The Gryffindor's jumped. They hadn't noticed their teacher had arrived. "Give Weasley his money back, Draco. I'd hate for his family to end up on the street." Malfoy threw the Knut high enough to fly right over Ron's head. Harry's hand darted out and caught it. He gave it back to Ron. Snape ushered the class inside.

Harry sat down next to Ron, whilst Neville sat down next to Seamus.

Snape took out the register an began reading it out. He stopped after reading out Parvati Patil's name. "Ah yes. Harry Potter. Our new - celebrity." The Slytherin's sniggered at Harry's unwanted attention. Snape continued as normal.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death—if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

"Potter!" Said Snape suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

A bushy-haired Gryffindor's hand shot up into the air. Harry panicked. He remembered something about them. To do with sleep? "Uh, I don't know, but I think it makes you sleepy?"

"Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

Harry knew what bezoars did, but he didn't know where to find them. "In a Potions lab, sir?" There was scattered laughter.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for cheek, Potter. What is the difference, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

Harry knew this. "There isn't a difference. It's the same plant isn't it?"

"Asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. So you were technically correct in saying it makes you sleepy. A gross understatement, however. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, you were right, there is no difference. They are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite." Snape looked across the class. "Well, why aren't you writing this down?"

There was a sudden rummaging for quills and parchment. The class continued as Harry, Ron and Neville expected it would, until Neville and Seamus' cauldron melted. The potion covered Neville and Seamus. The Slytherin's laughed at the boys misfortune. Snape glared at Neville. "Idiot boy! I assume you put the porcupine quills in before taking it off the flame? Idiot!" He whirled to glare at Harry. "Potter! Why did you not inform Longbottom of his mistake? Thought it would make you look better if he failed? Ten points from Gryffindor!"

"Hey! That's not fair! Neville's my friend. I'd obviously help him out! I was looking at my own cauldron, though. I wanted to do good in this lesson!" Snape glowered at Harry.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for backchat! Longbottom! Finnigan! Come to the front for the antidote." Neville and Seamus, boil-ridden, ran to the front of the class. Harry and Ron glared at the man who had just surpassed Malfoy on their most hated list, if only because he could take points off them.

6th September 1991 5:41 PM Grounds, Hogwarts

"Come on, guys!" Harry was beaming. He was going to meet someone who had actually met his parents. He was so excited! His friends were too slow! "Hurry up!" Eventually, they made it to Hagrid's. Harry's smile faltered a bit upon hearing the loud barks of a dog. He wasn't keen on dogs. Aunt Marge had dogs. Hagrid's loud voice told them the dog was called Fang. The door opened the door and they saw Hagrid holding back a dog that was just as big as any of the boys there. Hagrid was beaming.

"Harry! So glad yeh could make i'. And yeh brough' friends! Glad ta see yer settlin' in." He ushered them inside. "Why don' yeh all introduce yehselves. Dudley, ah know. Yeh look good, Dudley." Dudley smiled and thanked Hagrid. It was true. He still looked a bit overweight, but he now resembled a human, as opposed to a beached whale. His diet was doing great. He no longer felt the need to have fifteen meals at the same time. Everyone else introduced themselves.

Harry was getting a bit impatient. "Can you tell us about my parents, Hagrid?"

Hagrid chuckled. "Ah can tell yeh abou' all o' yeh parents. 'Cept fer Dudley an' Justin, o' course. Harry, yeh father were a bi' o' a troublemaker. 'E liked 'is practical jokes, 'e did. Professor Snape were 'is favourite targe'. O' course, back then 'e weren't a Professor, 'e were jus' Snape. Yeh father an' 'is friends came up wi' a nickname fer 'im. Ah can't qui' 'member wha' i' were. 'E go' inta qui' a bi' o' trouble. Yeh parents didn' star' goin' ou' 'til seventh year. Yeh father had finally star'ed ta grow up. Do yeh wan' ta hear the story ah were gonna tell yeh a' Diagon Alley? The one yeh aun' an' uncle didn' wan' yeh ta hear?"

Harry and Dudley looked at each other and grinned. They were the only ones who knew vaguely what Hagrid was going to say. "Yeah!"

Hagrid grinned. "Well. Yeh father had brough' his broom ta school. It were the lates' racing broom a' the time. He'd managed ta ge' a temporary Shrinking Charm on i'. Halfway across the lake, he removed the Charm fer his broom an' another firs' year who'd done the same. They both tore across the lake on their brooms. They threw water balloons at every other boa'. Even mine! Ta make up fer me size, they threw multiple balloons a' me. Ah didn' mind. Ah found i' funny. Ah 'member they dumped abou' fifteen inta Snape's boa'. They ended up runnin' ou' of balloons an' decided ta tip Snape's boa' over. Yeh mum had the misfortune ta be sharin' Snape's boa'. They flew abou' a bi' more an' high fived. Ah go' the feelin' they'd me' Snape on the train an' didn' hi' i' off. Snape surfaced an' fired some Curses a' 'em. Ah recognised one of 'em as a Curse ah don' fink a firs' year should know. Ah weren' surprised. His mother were a Slytherin Pureblood. They all know Dark Curses. An' ah can 'member one time a seventh year Ravenclaw go' drunk an' tried ta feel her up. She put him in the Hospital Wing fer so long, he missed his NEWTs. Had ta retake 'em a' the Ministry. Bu' ah digress. Ah had ta grab the students in the wa'er an' put 'em back in the boa'. After putting i' back uprigh'. Ah told yeh father an' the other firs' year ta knock i' off. They flew next ta the boa's fer the res' o' the boa' ride. Professor McGonagall were angrier a' 'em than ah've seen her, before or since. An' ah've seen 'er angry more times than ah can coun'. Ah've been here fer fifty-one consecutive years. Even the Weasley twins haven' beaten yeh dad an' 'is friends fer how tightly pursed her lips have gotten." Hagrid laughed nervously. "Eh, don' tell her ah said tha'. Bu' tha' were the day Professor McGonagall firs' proposed tha' firs' Years should no' be allowed brooms. I' weren' until halfway through the school year tha' Dumbledore finally accepted tha' firs' years shouldn' be allowed brooms."

"Hey, Harry." Harry turned to look at Dudley. "This happened on your birthday." Everyone looked at what Dudley was gesturing to. It was a news article about a break in at Gringotts. It had indeed occurred on Harry's birthday.

Hagrid had noticed what they were looking at. "Ah had ta ge' somefin' fer Dumbledore from Gringotts tha' day. Importan' business tha' were. On'y place safer than Gringotts fer somefin' is Hogwarts." Hagrid paled slightly. "Ah shouldn' of said tha'."

Harry looked at Hagrid. "What did you have to get for Dumbledore, Hagrid?"

Hagrid looked theatrically at his bare wrist. "Well, would yeh look a' the time. Yeh'd bes' be off. Don' wanna be caugh' ou' of bed pas' curfew. 'Specially no' on yeh firs' week a' Hogwarts." Hagrid quickly bustled them out of the front door.

Dudley checked his watch. "It's 6:01. We have two hours until curfew." Dudley looked at the others. "Hagrid doesn't have a sense of subtlety, does he?" Everyone apart from Hannah snickered.

"I wonder what it was he didn't want us to know. Also, you have an hour until your detention, Dudley."

Harry's face dropped. "My detention as well." The professors had decided to give Harry a bit of time to recover before he had his detention.

Ron smirked. "I'll see if my brothers would be willing to prank the Slytherin's. Y'know. Whilst your detention's going on."

Dudley grinned. "I never thought I'd say this, but thank God I have to do detentions with the Slytherin's. Hopefully, you'll be joining us, Harry."

6th September 1991 7:13 PM Fourth Floor Boys toilets, Hogwarts

Harry was bored. He'd been scrubbing this toilet for thirteen minutes. He'd been counting. He wouldn't be allowed to stop until Filch told him to move on to the next one. He'd stopped listening to Filch five minutes ago. He knew Filch was talking about his vendetta against the Weasley twins. The entire bathroom was covered in black ink from a prank the twins had played earlier in the week. Harry liked them but wished they'd done a prank he didn't have to clean up after.

"... one of the brats thought it would be funny to drop a dungbomb in my office. Unfortunately, they managed to escape and steal something from my confiscated items drawer. Infuriating red heads. I like nothing better than to flay their backs raw." A loud clanging noise prevented Filch from continuing his sadistic vitriol. Filch crossed the room and tore the door open. "PEEVES! What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" The mischievous poltergeists response was to throw a small pink pellet at Filch's face. The pellet burst into a brown powder. "PEEVES!!! I SWEAR TO MERLIN I'LL GET YOU EXORCISED!!! GET BACK HERE!!" Filch took off.

Seconds passed and two tall Slytherin's with brown hair entered. "Peeves is very accurate with those Stink Pellets."

"Quite right, Gregory." This one turned to look at the three Slytherin first years. "Hello, my name is Ferris, this is my brother, Gregory. We wanted to show some gratitude to the three of you for telling Potter's filthy cousin what he is."

Gregory spoke. "So we got you some cupcakes from the kitchen. Enjoy." He handed a cupcake to each Slytherin in turn. Crabbe and Goyle ate theirs in one bite each. Malfoy was a bit suspicious though.

"How come I haven't seen you in the Common Room?"

Ferris gave a light chuckle. "Well, if not for our Pureblood status and our opinions on people like Dursley and Potter, we would be the perfect Ravenclaws. We tend to be in the library way after curfew most nights."

"Don't tell Filch." Malfoy smirked, content he was in the company of likeminded people.

"Wonderful." He took a bite out of his cupcake. "What might your surname be? I always like to know who my allies are."

Ferris and Gregory smirked. In unison, both reached up to their brown curls. "Weasley." They tore the wigs from their heads in one motion. "You should really make sure..."

"... that you are in the company..."

"... of fellow Slytherin's before..."

"... eating anything!" Malfoy's face dropped as Crabbe turned to his leader.

"I don't feel very good." A stream of bright pink vomit launched out of the soft spoken Slytherin impacting on his leaders cheek. Goyle threw up on his shoes.

Malfoy's face grew red from rage. "Y-you horrible Muggle-lovers! You Blood-Traitors! I wish your mother had a m-eurgh!" He was unable to finish his sentence as a litre of pink vomit stained the floor he'd been scrubbing. The three Gryffindor's and Dudley laughed heartily at the plight of the Slytherin's until Filch returned.

"What in Merlin's name are you two doing here?" he snarled. At the sound of more vomit hitting the floor the grouchy squib turned his head and looked at the Slytherin's. He quickly put two and two together. "You... you little GITS! YOU GINGER BASTARDS!" The three Gryffindor's and Dudley's eyebrows raised in shock. "I'LL HAVE YOU EXPELLED FOR THIS! MESSING UP THE NICE CLEAN FLOOR!" His breath escaped through the gaps in his gritted teeth. "Come with me, right now."

"It was just-"

"NOW!" Fred and George followed him from the room silently. Neither had ever seen him this angry before. "YOUR DETENTION'S OVER! MALFOY! CRABBE! GOYLE! STAY HERE AND WAIT FOR MADAM POMFREY!" His instruction was pointless as the Slytherin's couldn't move without throwing up some more.

Harry and Dudley quickly raced off. "I hope they'll be alright."

Dudley tried to reassure Harry. "Of course they will. What's the worst Filch can do? Take a few House points? Give them a detention? They'll be fine. Plus if they lose House points, Hufflepuff will have a better shot at winning the House Cup!"

Harry laughed. "Hufflepuff hasn't got a chance. Gryffindor's gonna win. Besides, I heard someone say that the twins keep track of how many points they lose and earn them all back at the end of the year."

"Damn. There goes our shot." Dudley said sarcastically.

"Slytherin's won the past six years, so both of us probably don't have a shot. I wonder why Filch was that pissed off by the twins?" Harry raised a good point. Whilst Filch was renowned for having a terrible temper when it came to rule breaking, he wasn't known as someone to swear at students. Unless you count 'git' as a swear word.

"Probably because he hates the twins and we were cleaning up a different prank they'd pulled." Harry nodded in agreement. "Plus, haven't the twins been really hammering the Slytherin's with pranks because of what happened with that Carrow guy?"

"Yeah, they've been going after everyone who's the child of a Death Eater or suspected Death Eater. I heard that Flint guy's been pranked four times already and it's only the sixth day of term."