I know I need to update Ballads Of Love sooner than later, but I just needed to finally write this one…
Wrote this with the song on repeat, love it so much!
Black Love Chapter 3:
Lost On You – LP
XOXXOXXOXXOXXOX
When you get older, plainer, saner
Will you remember all the danger
We came from?
Burning like embers, falling, tender
Longing for the days of no surrender
Years ago
And will you know
It's only when you look back on things, you realise they weren't what you thought they were.
They weren't adventures. They were life threatening situations…
It wasn't love…
Once you've realised that, the only thing you want most is to go back.
The truth is hard. The truth hurts.
You want to go back to those innocent and naïve days… It's better to live your life like a blind man, but a happy man, than to face the stone cold truth…
Or is it?
So smoke 'em if you got 'em
'Cause it's going down
All I ever wanted was you
I'll never get to heaven
'Cause I don't know how
Sometimes you don't know anymore…
So, you drink. Drinking usually helps…
Angelica Teach wasn't much of a drinker, but it did help sometimes…
It would make her forget. All her mistakes…
How she had wasted her entire life on one man…
She could have gone to heaven, devoted her life to God. Now, her life was Hell without him…
Not Him, she didn't miss praying or reading the Bible… She was convinced she would go to Hell now anyway, she had wasted her shot to earn her spot in paradise…
She would believe and pray in her own way… There had to be something or someone out their listening…
Maybe it was Jack, somewhere lost on the seven seas…
Would he care?
Would she want to listen to her thoughts?
Would he be the light to guide her? Whilst he had been the one to leave her in the dark…
Let's raise a glass or two
To all the things I've lost on you
Oh-oh
Tell me are they lost on you?
Oh-oh
Just that you could cut me loose
Oh-oh
After everything I've lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Is that lost on you?
Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
Baby, is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?
She hated him.
Sometimes she hated him, or maybe she hated herself more…For ever believing in him, trusting him… She didn't know.
How she had literally given everything up for him, and still she was here on her own.
Left alone by Jack.
He had just dropped her on an island, and had never looked back…
How much she had lost because of that bastard…
Her virginity, her innocence, her father, her happiness, her sanity, her life…
Her heart…
Wishin' I could see the machinations
Understand the toil of expectations
In your mind
Hold me like you never lost your patience
Tell me that you love me more than hate me
All the time
And you're still mine
Sometimes she wished for him to come back, but at the same time she didn't…
It wouldn't help… He could hold her, tell her he loved her, but it wouldn't mean a thing, it would be too late…
It wasn't about the future, there were no happy endings in her future…
It was about turning back time… Changing her reality, changing the harsh truth… Turing it around…
She wished he would have never left her. That he would have stayed.
That he was still here with her.
And always had been.
All these years without him…
The life they could have had…
Why had he ever left her? She just couldn't understand. What had she ever done to make him leave?
She had loved him once. And he had known.
He knew. He was out here somewhere, knowing that she was here. Alone. Probably one of the few who had ever truly loved him. For everything he was. And still he had let her go…
All she had ever wanted was him.
So smoke 'em if you got 'em
'Cause it's going down
All I ever wanted was you
Let's take a drink of heaven
This can turn around
Let's raise a glass or two
To all the things I've lost on you
Oh-oh
Tell me are they lost on you?
Oh-oh
Just that you could cut me loose
Oh-oh
After everything I've lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Is that lost on you?
Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
Baby, is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?
Let's raise a glass or two
To all the things I've lost on you
Oh-oh
Tell me are they lost on you?
Oh-oh
Just that you could cut me loose
Oh-oh
After everything I've lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?
Now, she sat in a dark corner in a tavern somewhere in London… She hadn't heard from Jack ever since she got off that island…
She liked to come here sometimes, to reminisce… Sitting in a dark corner of a tavern, having a drink or two, and looking at the men…
How they resembled Jack… Almost all of them looking for female company and the amount of rum that could fill a ship's cargo hold…
Sometimes, she just needed to see that… Because once in a while, she did miss him. It was almost as he was there, like he would appear in the crowd, the crowd of this type of men, this type of sailor…
Everything she despised… Sometimes she needed to remember why it was a good thing she had moved on… How these men acted as if the world revolved around them, how they treated women…
Just for one evening she would let herself go back to those days… She'd travel 10 years back in time, to the exact moment where she had laid eyes on Captain Jack Sparrow again, in the Captain's Daughter…
Nothing had changed much, nothing ever changed much around here… Consuming alcohol and getting engaged with certain ladies of the night wasn't something that needed to evolve to survive… There would always be a place for that in the society…
So Angelica just sat, frozen in time, drank, watched, and listened for any kind of news... If she was lucky she would even hear some rumours about where The Black Pearl was headed next! According to some stories its Captain was already dead… The notorious Captain,after all previous attempts, finally eliminated...
Angelica didn't want to know…
Jack would be locked away, in the back of her mind, he was practically dead to her anyway… Except for these nights, where he would appear in the drunken smirk on every single one of these men their faces…
And yet, they could never hold a candle to her Captain Jack Sparrow…
XOXXOXXOXXOXXOX
Her Captain Jack… Aaaawwwwhh Damn! My own Feels!
Really short, but I had to get this out of my mind and on paper.
Lyrics: Lost On You – LP