A/N: Sorry, I know it's a day late. I just got halfway through this chapter and didn't know how to proceed. To be honest, I'm not 100% happy with this just because the words didn't come out sounding right the way I wanted to, but I hope I still convey everything I intended. I've also been quite creative with what happens in the future, hopefully a bit of setup but also background so it's not weird when things happen in the coming chapters.
As always, read and leave me a review :) I do so love to read your thoughts and opinions!
Disclaimer: JKR owns all of the characters and I make no money from this.
Chapter Four – The First Trip
It had been exactly one month since Harry had cleaned up her apartment and today was the day that Hermione was going to take George into the past. She thought she'd prepared him as thoroughly as she possibly could have.
"Got everything?" Hermione looked up at George from her position on the floor, arm wedged deep inside her beaded bag.
"Yeah Mi. You only went over this with me at least a hundred times just this morning." George replied, teasing in his voice.
"One can never be over prepared for this, George." Hermione tutted.
"Speaking of which, there's something I've been meaning to ask you about this whole… situation." George gestured around aimlessly with apprehension in his eyes.
Hermione stopped what she was doing and sat next to him on the couch, "Sure George, what's bothering you?"
"It's just, I know you don't want me to get my hopes up, and I know all about what will happen while we're there, and if we don't succeed everything will stay the same, but I just…" George trailed off, searching for the right words, "What happens to us if we get him back?"
Hermione breathed for a minute, almost seeming like she wasn't going to continue, then, "There's no conclusive data on this kind of stuff. I did a lot of research back in third year about time turners, really going in depth with any stories I could find. A lot of them were made up, but I sorted through all of that."
"Third year?" George interrupted, curiosity catching him.
"Professor McGonagall lent me a time turner so that I could take extra subjects. In retrospect, I should've just dropped Divination, but I suppose I need to broaden my horizons – if I, a muggleborn, can believe in magic, then I can definitely learn to believe in the mysterious arts of divination." Hermione rambled.
"Okay, that's wicked, but we're a little off topic. Tell me what the little know-it-all found." George narrowly dodged a half-hearted flailing limb thrown his way and laughed nervously.
"First we need to assume that we are living in parallel universes. If other people have done this, it would have a knock-on effect into the future of not only them, but other people surrounding them. Every time I tried to save him and I happened upon a new outcome, I believe it evolved into a new reality. The issue is that all of the written accounts must be speculation. Either there are people out there who really have changed something in the past and just haven't written anything, or this universe – our universe – is full of people who died trying. There are three alternatives, you see. If we really do bring Fred back, then either, the two of us as we are now fade from existence, because there can't be two sets of us, or we are stuck in this reality where we can't get him back and eventually we go on to live our lives without him…" Hermione paused for George's sigh, "or… well this is the more complicated one, you see. I think from what I can gather, if we want it enough, our spirits somehow merge with the people of the new reality, and we therefore gain the memories of the George and Hermione who lived without Fred dying but retain these ones." Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose, screwing up her face and shaking her head, "I know how stupid it sounds, if we want it enough, but if Harry can survive the Killing Curse because of his mother's love, then maybe we can retain these memories when we get Fred back. Personally I like the idea, and although I really do want to live in hope of it, I can't see, logically, how it makes sense – but we are magic."
"What about the reality that we live in now? If we get him back and merge with ourselves from the other universe, do we cease to exist here?" George pondered.
"From my own speculation and research, I believe that it's more like the two realities merge into one where both existed simultaneously until the point where they combined. However it will seem different for the people who knew we went back in time. For example, I believe your mother would just have nightmares or déjà vu, remembering Fred's death without it happening – but you, me and Harry would know otherwise." Hermione scratched her head, "I really don't like not knowing conclusively what happens, but I honestly can't find enough research about this subject."
George leant his head in his hand on the arm of the couch and was quiet for a long time; a lot of information had just been thrown in his face and he was having trouble processing it. Hermione had found the same issues when she was confronted with this information, or lack of it. She hated the void of study into the area, dedicating her own time to it when she could. This entire exploit of hers had been documented thoroughly by her pen – every trip she took, she wrote down every detail of it and her speculations in journals. She shared these journals with George one day with the only comment he made being "how can you be so clinical?" in wonder, and asking to borrow one to better understand what he was getting himself into.
George finally turned to Hermione, his face full of sadness, "I really love the idea that if we get him back we'll know how much we went through, but I can't help but feel like it's wishful thinking at this point." He reached for his empty cup and started walking towards the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway and turned back to Hermione, "You say when, you know? When you're not thinking about it, you say when we get him back. Not if."
It was almost two in the afternoon when the pair was finally ready to make the trip – not that it really mattered what time it was, just how many extra turns on the time turner. Hermione had all the essentials packed up in her beaded bag, both dressed in clothes similar to what they were wearing on the day of the Battle, but distinguishing enough that if they got separated, they'd be able to tell the difference between past and present selves.
Hermione had made sure that George had recounted several times where he was in the Battle during their allotted timeframe, in order to ensure that he didn't run into himself. They had both shared their past whereabouts and what exactly they were doing at the time, making sure they were also distracted enough to not show up unannounced.
"Are you ready, Hermione?" George asked, running a hand through his hair to fidget.
"As ready as I always am in this situation." Hermione grasped George's hand and apparated them from her apartment to an apparition point in Hogsmeade.
The two began their walk up to the Hogwarts grounds, with repairs not yet begun due to ongoing politics surrounding Hogwarts and the Ministry of Magic, it was easy to find a good place to stop. The castle was covered in a thick layer of dust, rubble scattered haphazardly across the beautiful landscape. It was eerily quiet, as if the entire atmosphere had been preserved – placed under an incredibly powerful stasis charm – and forgotten about. Hermione shivered and George wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders as they trudged through the abandoned ruins of their childhood home away from home. Hermione led George to the alcove that she had been using for her trips and pulled the time turner and chain from inside her blouse.
"Remember, don't be seen if possible, stay close to me at all times, and stick to the plan." Hermione rattled off as she hooked the long chain around George's neck as well, beginning to count as she twisted the dial on the side of the time turner.
"Got it. Good luck, Hermione." George steeled his expression as Hermione released the small crank and they were sucked back to the Battle of Hogwarts.
The first thing that hit George was the chaotic noise of battle. He felt Hermione unhook the time turner and grab hold of his elbow, nudging and guiding him to follow her out of the alcove and up two flights of stairs. He doubted that he'd be able to hear her over the general loudness of the situation and opted to run through the plan inside his head.
Hermione felt nervous. It was uncharacteristic, considering how numb she'd become – almost desensitising herself to the entire situation by being here as often as she could. However, bringing George, taking the month hiatus, the pressure she felt to bring back her love, it was all weighing heavily on her today, settling itself in the pit of her stomach in an angry, nervous knot. She tugged on George's sleeve, nodding towards a darkened classroom where they barricaded themselves for the moment.
"Are you alright?" Hermione asked George gently, although some of the gentleness was lost in her yelling over the sound of a crumbling wall.
"It's expectedly surreal, but I'm okay." George replied, giving her a thumbs up for good measure.
Hermione smiled at George, opening her mouth to continue, but then her eyes caught something behind him and her expression faltered, her face turning white. George looked concerned for a moment, but it quickly dawned on him that his twin was probably some distance behind him. If he just turned around…
His red hair stood out in contrast to the bleakness of everything around him, eyes still sparkling even in the heat of battle. Fred had a firm grip on his wand and an expression of pure determination set on his face. Percy rounded the corner then, relief flooding his features when he realised it was only his brother and not one of the countless death eaters that he had already encountered on his way to this floor. The two of them spoke for a moment as George and Hermione watched a death eater appear from the other direction, wand aimed at the pair in the light.
George remained motionless. His eyes were fixed on his twin, a multitude of emotions coursing through his body at that moment. Tears began forming in his eyes but he made no motion to stop them as they started rolling down his face. Sadness, an overwhelming amount of sadness – over two months without his other half had been torture, and there he was, smiling not ten metres away from him, oblivious to what was happening. George was vaguely aware of Hermione's presence, maybe an attempt to pull him somewhere, either way nothing was drawing him from this moment where he saw his twin again, like it was the first time. He was openly sobbing now, it was cruel to see what could be right in front of his eyes, without having seen him for so long – too long.
Hermione gave up her attempts at pulling him. There would be no saving Fred today, she had to be content with watching him die again. Admittedly, she had suspected that the first time, maybe even the first few times she had brought George back, she would be subjected to reliving her fiancée's death due to whatever reaction that he had, however she had not prepared to feel like it was her first time all over again.
Flashback
Hermione's hands shook as she twisted the dial on the time turner. She had borrowed Harry's invisibility cloak and pulled it tight to her body. After being pulled back in time she found herself rooted to the spot. She began a long tirade in her mind, barraging herself in worries she had long convinced herself didn't matter. She slowly made her way up the stairs, careful to avoid people if she could, making a mental note of where things were happening at the time. When she arrived at the corridor that she knew would be the place that her fiancée was murdered, she froze, her eyes fixated on a spot on the wall, unseeing.
Hermione had not been doing well in the days leading up to this completely irrational decision to come back and save Fred. She had slept a total of three hours in the past week and survived on takeout and tea laced heavily with calming draught. Harry had told her this was madness. She had tried to explain her point of view to him, sharing her need for closure and omitting the potential attempt to bring her lover back to life. Eventually he had caved in, forcing her to promise him that she'd be careful and take his cloak. He was glad that she'd at least shared her plan with him, so he knew where she was going, even if she refused to let him go with her.
She quickly looked around, spotting a deserted classroom that was half shrouded in darkness, and making her way inside. He appeared where she had been standing not a minute ago, looking just as he always had, but with dirt smeared across his skin and apprehension in his eyes. He startled when Percy had arrived, and Hermione jumped right along with him. Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears – who she was trying to be strong for, she didn't know.
Throughout the ensuing battle with the masked death eater, Hermione stood transfixed. Her eyes never once moved from Fred's face, watching his every move, drinking him in as if she'd never see him again. She watched Percy say something that made Fred laugh, she smiled at that, seeing his face so happy, almost missing the wayward spell hitting the castle wall behind him. Hermione screamed as the wall crumbled down around her beloved.
"Fred!" she choked out, sobs wracking her body and tears streaming down her face, "No! Fred, no!"
Percy couldn't hear her over the sound of a continuing battle. His frantic scrambling with the rubble and his own cries echoing off the walls filled the hallway.
Hermione crumpled to the floor in her hideaway. She couldn't continue watching this. She had just sat through her own personal sadistic form of torture. 'Why did I put myself through this?' Hermione pleaded with herself, 'What sick reason could I possibly have?'
After what seemed like hours, Hermione dragged herself off of that classroom floor. The hallway had been relatively deserted after the cave in, and Voldemort had called for the fighting to cease shortly afterwards. Percy had been back with help, taking Fred's body away from her, bringing him to the Great Hall. She walked cautiously towards the fallen wall. Fred's blood still stained the bricks there, pooling on the floor and coating the rubble. She was crying again, replaying his death over in her mind. She had seen enough. She had been here for long enough. She twisted the time turner in her fingers, forwards, back to the time she was from.
The rubble remained the same. Everything was the same. She was alone, without Fred, still.
Hermione looked up just in time to see the wall crumble down upon Fred. George collapsed, crying out and sobbing. All she felt was emptiness, how empty it was without him. 'Fred should be here right now, consoling his twin.' She thought, 'Fred should be here and then we wouldn't even be in this situation!' She stooped down in the darkness, George's features barely visible in the dim light. She reached out for him and he launched himself into her arms, quickly drenching her shirt in his tears.
"I'm sorry, Mi." George sobbed, "I'm sorry."
He kept repeating his apologies, whether it was for his breakdown or not having come with her sooner, Hermione didn't know at that moment, but she didn't need to.
"George, I'm here." She soothed, a quake in her voice, "We'll get through this."
She hadn't noticed when she had started crying, but her tears were rapidly falling onto her curled up companion. She hadn't realised how much she needed him, just having another person to understand what she was going through really made a difference, and he relied on her just as much. How different would her first trip have been if she'd brought George along from the very beginning.
The two cried together in each other's' arms, neither willing to break the silence.
After a while, Hermione pulled the time turner from inside her blouse again, draped it over the two of them, and took them back into the present. George looked up at her, like a child, helpless.
"We'll try again tomorrow."
A/N: Another chapter down, see you next week!