Aurora
August 1499 PD
It's been so long since I last wrote. I know. But it's the first time since the accident I've had both the time and the energy. I plan on writing a long, long letter to Lia next..
At thirteen, Jonny is one of the strongest people I know. When we lost Randy a few months ago, I fell apart. I didn't move from my bed for weeks. Jonny, bless his stars, stepped up. He took care of his little brothers, all five of them. Made sure they ate, did their lessons, bathed, and slept. He made sure I ate, too.
His strength is what pulled me out of the horrible, crushing darkness (10) I had slipped into. He is everything a good person should be and so, so much more. I don't know what I would do without him. I've lost my husband, but my son is still here. My sons. They need their mother, now more than ever. Jonny made me realize that.
He walked into my room to make sure I ate something. Bread, I think. He'd been doing the shopping for months, and for a thirteen year old boy he did very well.
I had a moment of clarity, and saw him as he was for the first time in a long time. And he looked awful. There were the darkest circles under his eyes, an exhaustion that no child should have. But his eyes held a look of determination that took my breath away. He wasn't going to give up on his family. Not his brothers, not me.
This moment of clarity led to more. A few days later, I managed to get up and go sit in my chair, by the window, and watch outside. I kept making progress, getting better and better. I was able to, eventually, do simple chores and make meals. Eventually I could go out and do the shopping. My sons were overjoyed, and everything I did made them excited. Jonny started improving with me, able to get more sleep and not work nearly so hard.
The finances were difficult, despite Jonny's best efforts while I was bedridden. Due to Randy's work, which paid well, we did have a good store of money saved up, and due to his death being while he was returning home from a work trip, we would get monthly checks from his previous employer. But with so many mouths to feed, the savings were dwindling fast. I managed to fix that, at least for a while, by selling some of the jewels I'd brought with me from Terra. Apparently real, colored diamonds are rare in Terra. So a somewhat gaudy necklace I'd received from someone on a birthday, covered in red diamonds, I was able to sell for a very large sum, enough to tide us over, if we're careful, for at least four years. And there's several other pieces I can sell, if need be.
Which is important. I can't really start working, see, because I'm soon to have another child. I only found out recently. Randy's last child. I must take care of them, as well as our other beautiful children. So that is exactly what I'm going to do.
Annotations:
10) Crushing Darkness: The crushing diagnosis that was described in Princess Aurora's journals was later diagnosed after her death. The handful of Terran Doctors who, from a list of the symptoms the princess described, as something known as Clinical Depression, a mental illness. Princess Aurora, from her children's descriptions, suffered various bouts of this until her death, in 1507 PD. To learn more about this, please reference Clinical Depression, A Study of Mental Illness by Doctor John V. Tenad, a doctor who has studied medicine in both Terra and Myula.