Chapter 5: Frantically Frenzied Confusion

"Gen, so, kyo?..." Ed uttered, "Wait, you mean Gensokyo?!"

Once Yukari nodded to confirm the truth, Ed started to laughed, giggled and cackled at the realization, jumping and dancing around the spot with giddiness only Ed could have produced if he realized he had found a Japanese wonderland, and not care about his dignity as he does so.

After a minute or two of eccentric dancing, Ed started to slow down and becoming less excitable, but he was obviously still rather animated; still smiling and bouncing on the balls of his foot.

Yukari laughed lightly at his reaction, covering her lips with a folding fan, "Yes. I suppose from your exuberant reaction you're aware of the legend about Gensokyo?"

"That's weird," Reimu remarked, folding her arms, "I thought most Outsiders don't know about Gensokyo."

"Not know about it per se, but rather heard of folklore about it, I'm guessing," Yukari said, "Ed, may I asked you how you came across our legends in the first place?"

Ed frowned and stared skywards in thought, "I think our substitute History teacher talked about it," Ed muttered, scratching his ears, "We were talking about Japan as our unit at the time and well, the subject we were focusing on about at the time was Mythology."

"I see..." Yukari nodded, "Gensokyo was a folktale even back when it was just recently sealed away, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprise that your teacher eventually come across that little old history story."

Yukari then grimaced slightly, "But I'm most concerned about how you got here. As far as I know, from your appearance to your accent to your first language even, you appeared to be hailing from the United States of America. But how could you came to Gensokyo in Japan when you lived more than 10,000 kilometers away on an entirely different country?"

"I went through a weird red gate thing," Ed gestured the vague shape with his hands, "It had a green door in between two big pillars with funny things written around it. It was locked, so I used this key," Ed showed the two females in front of him the strange wooden key. The two girls showed varying degrees of interest; Reimu had appeared to be slightly interested in object in Ed's hand but didn't pursued the subject. While Yukari on the other hand looked shocked and surprised, as though she had been expecting a different answer from Ed. The woman glanced at the key, to Ed, behind him before calming down again, regaining her cool expression, if a little bit more tight and businesslike.

"Ah, I see." Yukari nodded, "Well, now that you're here, Ed, how about a little scenery viewing around Gensokyo?"

Reimu immediately voiced her dissent, "Absolutely not, Yukari!"

Yukari sniffed, almost insulted. "Why Reimu! You didn't even gave me a chance to finish my suggestion."

"I don't need to," Reimu snarled, "I've known you for years, and I know that suggestion will become an order soon enough. He's a kid, and an Outsider to boot! The local youkai will all be too happy to dig into his flesh the second he leaves the last step on the shrine stairs!"

"Honestly, Reimu, you've known Ed here for less than an hour and now you're already worried about him?" Yukari raised an amused eyebrow, "Or do you have a certain fondness for lovable oafs?"

Reimu turned cherry red, "Y-You perverted youkai! It's not like I care about him! I just don't want to be held responsible when he gets himself murdered thanks to your little 'suggestion'!"

"He can take care of himself, with or without your concern. Besides, I don't think you can stop him now." Yukari said in amusement.

"And why's that, huh?"

"He already left the building."

Reimu spun around in shock, seeing the vague little figure of Ed had already ran straight through the red gate and now descending the stone stairs eagerly, obviously itching to discover more of Gensokyo.

"Ah goodness. An eager one isn't he? Well, Reimu, make everyone's eardrums bleed again if you need me~"

"Ed! You get back here right now!"

Ed cheerfully hummed in glee; He can't believe his luck, he found Gensokyo! Ed happily strolls through the red gate and ran down the steps with anticipation. He jumped right off of the last step and landed on the ground, dashing off straight ahead the second his shoes touched the ground. Ed smiled and hummed to himself, cheerfully strolling through the woods with a certain kind of obliviousness unique to himself.

Ed literally salivated at the thought of the things he'll discover in Gensokyo as he ran through the trees, "Oh I wonder if I'll meet a ghost, or an alien or a witch or whatever's in here! I'm so ex—"

"Y—Yo, watch out!" a tomboy-ish voice yelled out.

"Ah?" Ed, instead of stopping in place like a sane person, merely slowed slightly in place. Which mean whoever cried out that warning ran headlong straight into Ed, which was on par of running into a brick wall.

"Ow!" the person yelped, bouncing off of Ed's body like a basketball with a golden wig and tumbled onto the ground, "Oogh, man oh man, what did I ran into? I think I have a concussion."

"Sorry, lady!" Ed loudly apologized, extending his arm to help the unknown girl up. "Are you seeing funny things and stars?"

"Whuzzat?" the girl asked groggily, "'Funny things'? The only thing I'm seein' is two of you, whoever the hell you are."

"Sorry!" Ed repeated. The girl shook her head and shrugged, "Ah, it's nuthing. I've been through way, way worse. Anyways, where are you going?"

Ed lowered his hand slightly, "I'm going to somewhere safe for humans, some place that has really cool people!"

"Huh. I'd ask you why you want to go to somewhere safe like someone from a cheap, cliche story or something, but I don't have the time right now. The closest, human safe place—of course, not like I'm saying anywhere else is safe for us either—is the Human Village. Just go straight through this place for a bit 'til you see a road, then you just follow that and you should be golden!" after she finished her directions, the girl pointed in the vague direction behind her.

The girl then stood up and dusted the dirt off of her black and white outfit before flicking the witch hat on her head backwards, revealing a yellow mop of hair. With a smile, she introduced herself while holding her broomstick, "Yo there! The name's Marisa Kirisame, your friendly ordinary magician!"

Ed, who would've been yelling in joy once she said the word witch, froze in childish fear once he saw Marisa's hair color. Ed shivered in fright; unpleasant memories of unneeded affections and relentless kisses ran through the oaf's head as he was forcefully been reminded of May Kanker's relentless obsession, shaking harder and harder as each and every moment of horrid kisses was relived unwillingly by Ed's overactive imagination.

"Uh, you okay?" Marisa asked, somewhat concerned, "You look like Yuyuko just saw you as her lunch or something."

"KANKER KISSES!" Ed screamed out in terror, pushing Marisa backwards, "YUCKY, MUSHY GIRL KISSES!"

Marisa flinched back in surprise, watching in confusion as Ed immediately ran straight ahead into a tree, punching a vaguely human shaped hole in the trunk of the poor tree as Ed continued to scream and run through more trees.

"Well, uh, that happened. Did he just ran through a tree? And what the hell is a Kanker Kiss?" Marisa asked to nobody in particular, letting the question float in the air.

"AAAH! NO MORE YUCKY GIRL GERMS!" Ed screamed in utter fright, so scared of the nonexistent May and by extension, the rest of the Kanker Sisters, that he had regressed back into English in his sudden frenzy.

He ran like mad through the trees—literally—, making a loud ruckus as he did so as every tree that was unfortunate enough to be in Ed's path. Ed yelled and screamed and cried, all with loud gasps in between as a result of running so long and screaming so loud. Eventually, what's left of the smarts of Ed's mind had finally told the rest of the boy's brain that there was no May in the middle of Japan of all places, so no Kanker would be around to assault Ed with needless smooches, making Ed regain his usual placid oafish altitude as he dropped to his knees in exhaustion.

"Hah, Ed is tired now," Ed groaned, "Ed needs his buttered toast and gravy."

Ed hungrily looked around for something to eat, but saw only a small village off in the the distance. He could easily travel the distance on foot, but he felt far too drowsy and tired to do so. His gaze traveled downwards until he saw his watch, so out of instinct, he lifted his wrist to his face and checked the time.

7:29 p.m.

Ed's stomach growled unnaturally, sounding much like a tribal bongo for some reason.

"Ed must eat dinner," Ed chanted to himself, turning back around to walk back to the gate that opened into Peach Creek and his home, "Ed must eat food!"

The boy dashed through the woods, not at the crazy breakneck speed like before, but rather at a more reasonable pace, using his hunger as a bizarre motivation of sorts. Ed lightly jogged through the shadows of the trees, belly growing hungrier and hungrier and Ed feeling more and more malnourished. As Ed ran through the little forest, thoughts popped up and away; can I tell the others about Gensokyo? Would they even believe me?

Eddy has a chance, he might trust him if he said the right thing or if the right person tells the truth, like his brother or something. But he's not here right now, and Ed has no way of logically contacted him.

Edd, on the other hand, adamantly refuses anything that can't be explained through logic or science. He would probably come up with a 100 different reasons how Gensokyo can't exist. Even if someone smart and famous—Karl Schwarzschild, example—says Gensokyo actually exist with detailed evidence why, Edd could just as easily provide a counterargument with five times the amount of evidence.

Ed moaned, all of this thinking was just making him hungrier for food, and all of that speculating doesn't has a double function of food. Ed hurried faster, seeing the stone stairs that led up to the shrine was just entering his sight.

The boy broke out into an all out run a second later, letting his back droop far back down as Ed hungrily drooled for food at his house. Dashing up the stone stairs, Ed darted right through the red shrine gate and into the shrine, where Ed saw Marisa and Reimu talked over tea. Reimu saw Ed entering the shrine out of the corner of her eye and angrily swivels around to meet him.

"And where have you've been?!" Reimu snapped furiously, Ed stopped in place but still hold his hands over his snarling abdomen, which has now develop a regular chorus of growls, "You had some nerve, leaving before I could tell what to do if you wanted to leave!"

"Woah there, Reimu! You know this kid or something?" Marisa interjected in confusion. Reimu answered with a quick one, "Yeah, he came from the grove of trees behind the shrine a couple minutes ago."

"Come on guys!" Ed whimpered in hunger, "I need to eat bad bad, really bad!"

Seeing the plate of mochi right on Reimu's tea table made Ed salivate. Unable to restrain his hunger, Ed swiftly snatched the plate away, much to Reimu and Marisa's surprise, and dashed off towards the tree grove behind the shrine.

Quickly dashing through the hole he made earlier—and enlarging it further, much to Reimu's chagrin and Marisa's amusement—, Ed dove madly towards the direction of the gate between Peach Creek and Gensokyo, snacking on one mochi on the plate as he does so.

"Ed! Get back here, give me back my food and fix the door, dammit!" Reimu shouted at the Ed, Marisa watched the little figure of Ed disappears into the shadows of trees and casually remarks, "I don't think he can hear ya now, Reimu."

"I swear, it's all your fault sometimes, Marisa."

"Oi, and what's that suppose ta mean?"

Ed dashed through the forest, sending leaves below his foot flying into the air as he does so, eating another mochi as he does so. The surrounding lights soon fade out and replaced by the familiar pitch black shadow, with the floors beneath him flattening out to near perfection. At this point his hunger can no longer be sated by a single mochi at a time, so Ed had dumped the piles of mochi—plate included—into his mouth, effortlessly gulping it down his gullet, holding it at bay for a few moments.

Ed, fortunately, didn't have to travel for long, considering he ran for most of the distance between the door and the shrine, as the familiar shadowy shape of the door comes into sight. The boy screeched to a stop and stretched his arms out to feel the door; wooden and old feeling.

"Yeah! This is the right door!" Ed cheered. He shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling around for the wooden key and grabbing it once he got his finger around it. He shoved the key into the door frantically into the keyhole, unlocking it and swung it open, causing the soft evening light to hit Ed in the face as he do so.

Ed smiled at the familiar sight; same leaves, same trees, same shadows even! I'm home!

"And Ed's stomach wants food from home!"

Jack's Notes

Ahhh, two chapters in a week, you people are lucky (or not, depending how you see this chapter) XD.

This is one of my longest chapter yet! I tried to write this one with more thought and focus on Ed's general personality and view, so I had written this one with a bit more surrealism and comedy. I don't think I nailed it very well, you guys tell me what you think of it and what to improve, okay?

I had to cut off the end a little bit because I don't people to think that I'm drawing the chapter longer just for the sake of having a long chapter, hell I think I'm drawing it out longer than needed myself.

Anyways, no warning and heads up for today, I'm planning to make the next couple chapters a bit more straightforward. Of course, Ed getting his ability and Edd and Eddy eventually discover Ed's secret will come soon, just in like a couple extra chapters or so.

Anyways, until next time, bye bye!