Aulelia
October 1500 PD
Conrad and I talked for long while today about what I'm to do after I give birth. I suppose I haven't really explained much about him in past entries, and I'm bored so I'll write it now. He's the youngest of my father's royal advisors and only three years older than I am, only a year older than Rora and Wil. We grew up like brother and sister.
He is the only one whom I have trusted with knowing who the child's father is besides Rora. He's been keeping my sister's secret since the beginning, when I got the first letter, and I know I can trust him with anything. I made him swear that if anything ever happened to me, he'd take care of my child. He swore something extra—to do so no matter what it takes to keep my baby safe. It's something of great risk for him. He's willing to go directly against my father, someone who took him in and trained him and trusted him when he had hardly anywhere else to go. My father wants him to make sure my child is killed before I "return to polite society." But I know he will take care of my baby if I cannot. I do not plan to return to where my father resides, however. Not until it is safe for my baby.
I'm so thankful. Even locked away, hidden from the world, I still have two people who I know love me and care about me. And there's two more out there, somewhere, who I hope are trying to find me. I hope Luca doesn't think I abandoned him of my own free will.
Even if I haven't seen Luca in so long, I love him nonetheless. One day we'll meet again. And I will tell him about our child, and about my sister. Maybe instead of living here in Myula where we will be scorned and shamed, we can go live with Rora in Terra. I'm sure if I tell her this, she'll gladly let us come. I'd love to meet her children, and I know she'd love to meet Luca.