Previously on Batman Begin: Abridged. Bruce Wayne stowed away on a boat hoping for moderate levels of fun. It turns out stowing away on a boat to any random location does not result in fun, who knew?
Tonight on Batman Begins: Anridged, let's just say theres a few Pop Culture References.
"Mr Wayne, you are under arrest for stealing a loaf of bread." Police officer says.
"But it was for my dying family!" Bruce pleads.
"Bruce Wayne, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court, and it is now my duty to pass sentence. You are an habitual criminal, who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard, and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner. I therefor sentence you to an unspecified amount of time to a stereotypical jail in whatever country this happens to be." Judge rules.
"You can't do that, American viewers wont get the humour!" Bruce explains.
In Jail, yeah, I can't think of a good joke...
"So what are you in for." Bruce asks.
"I attempted to murder an old lady in Texas." random guy says.
"Attempted?"
"She shot me."
"My Wayne, your not very good at this title character duty are you?" says a charismatic voice.
"Oh my goodness, I know that voice. Aslan!" Bruce exclaims.
"No. What's pivotal though is that you join us..." Henri Ducard says.
"Qui-Gon-Jinn?" Bruce guesses.
"No, but I represent a clan of people who..."
"So you're not Qui-Gon-Jinn?"
"Oh all bloody right! I'm Qui-Gon-Jinn. Do you want to join are ninja cult?" Qui-Gon-Jinn says.
"Isn't it kind of difficult to leave a jail in whatever country we're in?" Bruce asks.
"I'm Qui-Gann-Jinn, with this voice I can do anything." Qui-Gon-Jinn reminds.
At the Ninja Fortress of Ethically grey activities...
"So who are you?" Bruce asks.
"We are the Cult of ancient ninjas, and pop culture references!" Qui-Gon-Jinn reveals.
"Dude, that I'm going to do to your face, what Bret Ratner did to the X-Men series!" Generic Ninja 1 says.
"This punch is going to sting like a Chuck Norris round house kick!" Generic Ninja 2 says.
"I'm Ra's al Ghul! Bitch!" Generic Old Man who claims to be Ra's al Ghul says.
"Well come on Bruce. Training. A little less conversation, a little more action!" Qui-Gon-Jinn reminds.
"So I take it this training will take years of hard and tiring work?" Bruce asks.
"Like I said, I'm Qui-Gan-Jinn. We can probably cover this in a 10 minute training montage."
"God Bless Holly-woods lack of originality, may it never end." Bruce exclaims.
One Training Montage with snazzy music later...
"Now that you're Ninja skills are awsome, I'll test your pop culture ability. There's more dirt on you than Amy Winehouse at a church confessional." Qui-Gon tests.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't here you, your tongue has more venom than Steve Irwins heart." Bruce retorts.
"Wow, I can almost here the controversy! Now one more task, you just need to kildamanoverderepeese." Qui-Gon mutters.
"What?" Bruce asks.
"Just killdatmanoberderepease."
"What?"
"Oh alright damn it! Kill that guy we've got chained up. He stole stuff for his poor family."
"Dude! Why don't you just yell, "I'm morally ambiguous, but in the bad way, I'm going to be the villain of this!"" Bruce yells.
"Kill him. Kill him like Video killed the Radio Star!" Qui-Gon yells.
"No, and that was a crappy pop culture reference!"
"Your apprentice killing a criminal. This event is as misleading and nonsensical as Muhammad Ali vs Superman, 1978, DC Comics." Generic Ninja 2 laughs.
"Bruce, please. You're embarrassing me in front of the cold blooded killers. The pop cultures references are becoming more and more obscure." Qui-Gon begs.
"No. You take pop culture to far! Sure it's good in small doses, but fill every line and it ruins things, shows, television, fan-fiction!" Bruce monologues.
Damn it he's right! I'll work on better material and stop ripping stuff off worse than Paris Hiltons clothes. Ah, to hell with that.
"Kill him Bruce or be killed, it's the rules!" Qui-Gon warns.
"Screw the rules! I have money!" Bruce yells.
Knife crime! Happy Slap! Choke Hold! Half Nelson! Full Nelson! Pop culture References!
"Die man who claims to be Ra's al Ghul!" Bruce yells.
"I'm dying worse than the quality of the Star Wars franchise!" Generic Old Man who claims to be Ra's al Ghul says.
"Oh no, the monstrey is about to blow up!" Generic Ninja 1 shouts.
"Damn it, what the hell are explosives doing in an ancient monastery. Wait, I can't just leave Qui-Gan-Jinn, Narnia will fall apart without him!" Bruce narrates.
Escape!
"Well I'll probably never see those guys again. Problem solved. Now back to Gotham, it has been an unspecified amount of time." Bruce notes.
Back in Gotham...
"Oh Poison Ivy. I don't care if are love is forbidden... wait, Mobile. Master Wayne, your coming back. O.K, just let me deal with some business." Alfred says.
Like the General decline of the Harry Potter franchise, To be Continued, hopefully with less Pop culture references...