He sat at the bar in the kitchen with his laptop in from of him as he kept an eye on his son that was playing in the living room. The nine year old was planted in front of the TV and playing legos so his dad could get some work done. It was a Saturday so he usually didn't work, but this case was requiring some extra time. He was just about to give up for the afternoon, but his phone rang and he knew it was probably his boss wanting to know how far he had gotten.
"This is Agent Stabler." Elliot answered, not even looking at the caller ID.
"Elliot…I'm sorry to bother you." The man said, something hidden in his voice. Elliot knew the voice. He'd recognize it anywhere, and he was surprised to hear it saying his name.
"Yeah Don, what's up? Is everything okay?"
"Have you seen the news today?"
His stomach instantly dropped. He hadn't watched the news since Friday morning before he picked up Eli. He knew this was about her. That's the only reason his old captain would call him. It had to be bad if he felt the need to reach out to him.
"No, I haven't since Friday morning. What's going on? Is it…."
He couldn't even say her name.
"Yeah and she's at Mercy Hospital. I'm here on the fifth floor and I'll see you when you get here."
Hanging up the phone, he grabbed Eli's bag and was rushing to get across town. He had taken Eli back to his mom and had tried to explain, but was surprised when Kathy stated she had already seen it on the news.
"Elliot, just tell her how you feel when you see her. Okay?" His ex-wife cried, taking her sleeping son into his old house in Queens.
Their marriage had ended not long after he had left SVU, but he was glad to say it was on good terms. They both agreed staying together wasn't healthy anymore, and the kids were now old enough to understand. Kathy and he shared custody of Eli, and she kept the house. Elliot had gotten a small 2 bedroom apartment back in the city. He liked living there, and it wasn't far from his new job. The FBI had actually approached him about a job, and he finally accepted about 8 months after deciding to leave SVU. He loved his new job and liked working normal hours, but he missed his old one. But sometimes he wondered if he missed the job or just missed his partner. Although he never admitted it to his wife, he knew she suspected how he felt because of the way he acted when he finally left. That was one of the big reason he assumed she had asked for the divorce in the first place.
The next thing he knew, Elliot was waiting in the elevator to get off on the fifth floor.
He knew it was bad if Cragen couldn't tell him over the phone. When he pulled up to the hospital, there were squad cars everywhere. He had seen Fin and a blonde standing in the waiting room when he walked in, but he didn't bother to stop. He wanted to speak to Cragen. He wanted to see her.
He needed to know what was going on. Now.
When the elevator opened, he wasn't surprised to find to guards blocking the doors to the ICU. He walked up, but was surprised when they stopped him.
"No one is allowed through sir." The first man said, blocking the door.
"I'm Agent Stabler, from the FBI. I'm here to see Don Cragen and Olivia Benson." Elliot yelled, flashing his badge.
"I'm sorry sir, but it protocol. We aren't allowed to let anyone through-"
"It's okay guys. Let him through, he's with me." Cragen said, opening the door.
The man moved, and let Elliot follow Cragen through the doors. In the waiting room, there were 4 more men guarding a door, one he assumed was Olivia's. He sat down next to Cragen, afraid of what the man was about to tell him. What if this was it? What if she died and he never got to talk to her again?
"I'm sorry this is the way we have to see each other again." Elliot said, not bothering to make eye contact.
"Yeah, but I'm glad you came El. I was afraid history would repeat itself and we'd never see you again."
"Don… what happened?"
"Olivia was shot late last night. She was working a case and she went in without a vest on. She was shot twice; once in the chest and once in the abdomen. She just got out of surgery about two hours ago, and it was a miracle she even survived that. Right now we're just hoping she wakes up but the doctors aren't sure what will happen. She had to have part of her liver removed and one of her kidneys, and her heart was also injured from the shot to the chest."
"Look Elliot, no one knows I called you. So if you want to leave, that is completely up to you. But I don't think that it's fair to her if you don't do it without saying goodbye. She put on a brave face and dealt with your leaving for years before she was finally okay with it. I came down hard on her about it because I knew if I treated her like she was wounded that she would never get past it. But she did, and she is stronger now because of it." Cragen said, trying to be nice to the man in from of him.
"I couldn't come back Cap and I couldn't come back and face it, knowing what I did to her. She called me and I couldn't even answer the damn phone. She was my best friend, yet I couldn't even tell her the truth because I let my damn pride get in the way."
"I understand wanting to leave that life behind and moving forward. But you and I both know that woman should have been part of that. I knew for years what was going on and didn't separate you two. Sometimes I wonder if that would have been better so maybe I could have prevented her from being so hurt in the end."
"You and I both know that would have never happened."
"Elliot I didn't do this for you. I didn't call you so you could sit here and try to get me to forgive you for hurting her or whatever this is. I'm doing this for Olivia because she deserves more than the way you left. Even if she isn't awake to hear it, I hope its closure for the both of you."
Cragen got up and walked to the door across from the waiting room, looking into the window at the woman he considered family. He wished he could have saved her from all the hurting, but he knew it was possible that she wouldn't walk away from this.
"Go talk to her Elliot. She may not respond, but she's listening. Make sure you tell her what you need to say because this may be your only chance."
He watched as his old detective got up, walked across the waiting room to the door near him and sit down in a chair next to his old partner. They both were praying that Olivia would be listening to whatever her old partner had to say.