Wow, I've been gone along time, oh well, just be nice and casual and act as if you never left.
Viewers of a nervous disposition, may need to know, that I can see you're every move through this computer screen, wave to me. I said WAVE!
At the Arkham Institute for Outstanding Achievement in the field of Insanity!
"Crane! I want out of this mad house! And I wont take no for an answer!" Mob Leader yells.
"No." Dr Crane informs.
"Curses, you win round 1. Though I could just tell the world about all your dirty little secrets." Mob Boss threatens.
"I have no dirt, I haven't even had an acceptable back-story or human personality." Dr Crane scoffs.
"What about your love affair with Killer Crocodile." Mob Boss threatens again.
"Jimmy, shut the door."
"You're not going to hurt him are you Dr Crane." Jimmy asks.
"Jimmy, we've been through this, I don't hurt people, I just mentally cripple them and ruin there lives." Dr Crane reminds him.
"O.K."
"Eat Scare Syndrome!"
"Please, I have no fears. Ahhh Bambi's Mum is dying! Ahhh Bambi's Mum is dying! Ahhh Bambi's Mum is dying! Ahhh Bambi's Mum is dying! Ahhh Bambi's Mum is dying! Ahhh Bambi's Mum is dying! Ahhh Bambi's Mum is dying!" Mob Boss screams in terror.
"Wow, he's really messed up." Dr Crane ponders.
At Wayne Enterprises...
"Sir, theoretically, if a messenger told you that our random water exploder had been stolen, how would you react." Worker 1 asks, theoretically.
"Firstly I'd dock there wages about 4 percent and give them a firm talking too." Boss states.
"Oh, well..."
"Than I'd rip out there intestines and feed it to them." Boss continues.
"Oh... uh well..."
"Than I'd pull their arms from there sockets and beat them with it, laughing as they screamed helplessly, there lack of arms preventing them from defending themselves. Anyway you were saying something?" Boss finishes.
"Fox was going to tell you that. Blame Fox Lucius Fox!"
Back at Arkham...
"So he just happens to go insane. How very convenient." Rachel Dawes investigates.
"No, don't fly birdies, he's waiting for you. No, don't fly birdies, please don't fly. No, there flying! Ahh they're falling! Ahh they're falling! Ahh they're falling! Ahh they're falling! Damn you Walt Disney, first Dumbos Mum, now this! Oh look, a Scarecrow." Mob Boss cries.
"What's with the scarecrow?" Rachel asks.
"It's probably the mask I wear. It kind of creeps them out." Dr Crane explains.
"Than why did you leave it in his cell." Rachel asks.
"We don't have cable. Taunting the insane is the only entertainment I get." Dr Crane explains.
"So it's kind of like American Idle?" Rachel realises.
Back at Wayne Manor...
"I've traced the source of the scare drug, it's at Arkham." Alfred informs.
"How'd we figure that out?" Bruce Wayne asks.
"I'm not really sure, I can't really remember this part. " Alfred ponders.
At Arkham...
"This is holding blocks 71-80." Dr Crane explains.
"It really doesn't seem that different to the last 6 holding blocks." Rachel moans.
"You'd think that, but I've listed 6 and a half distinct differences, which I phrased as a poem in my spair time." Dr Crane points out.
"Listen is this tour going anywhere?" Rachel asks.
"Oh yeah, I kind of dump scare syndrome into the water supply with help from criminal slave labour." Dr Crane mentions.
"That's horrible! I'm going to report it!" Rachel screams.
"Right now, but I was showing the tour." Dr Crane moans.
"Uh, your committing crimes!" Rachel points out.
"But the tour. Listen, I've worked here for the last 8 years. Do you know how mind numbing that is. All I have to talk to, is Jimmy, and the voices is his head, and they are very left wing. I phrased it in a poem once. I call it, My Hatred is like an Onion." Dr Crane begins.
"Listen, I'm going." Rachel says.
"Oh, but the tour!" Dr Crane begs.
"Good Bye!" Rachel says.
"Eat Scare Syndrome!"
"Please, I have no fear! Ahh Tom Cruise! Ahh Tom Cruise! Ahh Tom Cruise! Ahh Tom Cruise! Ahh Tom Cruise! Ahh Tom Cruise! Ahh Tom Cruise! Ahh Tom Cruise!" Rachel screams.
"Wow, why are all the people I meet messed up?" Dr Crane ponders.
Nothing important to add, just felt it had been a while since I said something...
"Batman to the rescue!"
"Do I have to kill you a second time?" Dr Crane moans.
"Not if I kill myself twice first." Batman quips.
"If you insist." Dr Crane shrugs.
"Uh... Shut up! Eat your own Scare Syndrome!"
"Please I have no fears. No Mommy! I'll be a good boy! Please, I didn't mean it! No, not my collection of scarecrows! No! Mr Scarecrow McScarington!"
"Well that seemed easy enough."
"No! I'm dying you idiot!" Rachel yells.
"Oh yeah Rachel." Batman notes.
"Batman! I'm here to contribute! You've got to get out, we, the police are here for some reason. The place is surrounded by police." Jim Gordan says having arrived somehow.
"O.K, you know how Spider man doesn't use Spiders as a weapon? I'm about to throw that concept out the window! Eat Bats everybody!" Batman yells.
In the Batmobile...
"Hi, I'm Troy McLure. You might remember me from such interactive instruction devices as Banking for idiots, and Paid Parking, a fact of life. Today however I'm your Sat-Nav. At the next turn, take a left. You've taken a wrong turn there, at the next round about, take the second exit. Your location currently reads in a building, Sat-Nav does not understand, you're currently flying through the air, what the hell! Listen buddy, I can't be turned off! This is meant for idiots, but even you're taking the mick. Oh and now the police are chasing us, that'll be great for my rep. O.K, your off the satellite, I don't know what you've done, but you really buggered up. Congratulations, you have reached your destination."
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