Emily's eyes moved from my eyes to my lips then back up to my eyes. "Ali, what are we gonna do? About the baby." I gasped, in this moment that's not what I thought she was going to say. I had to think for a second I didn't want to stumble through this conversation, it is important to me and to her.
"I really don't know. I've thought every possibility through. At first I couldn't bring myself to have a strangers baby. What if the baby came out looking just like Archer or even acted like him. Hell what if he's not even the father and I never know who is?! But everything changed when I found out the baby I'm carrying is part of you. I… I don't know. I know you didn't sign up to raise a kid with me, and with everything happening with Paige that this would be the worst time for this to happen. And selfishly I kind of want to keep the baby because no matter where I go and what happens I'll always have a part of you. And maybe finally I can do something right. I haven't been the best person Em. I've failed in ever relationship I've ever had. I've hurt my family, friends, and even you. I just want to give this baby a chance I never had. But I'd never expect or force you to step in and play house. And I know you will because you're strong, and sweet. And you've always been here to take care of me. This isn't just my choice any more it's yours too." I look at her and her brow is scrunched which means she's thinking too hard.
"Allison, no matter what happens I'll be here for you. If we decide to do this, I'm sure Paige will walk away and it's a risk I'll have to take. And at the end of the day we can co-parent and both of us will be able to find love with people who will understand." I scoff at thought and her eyes lock into mine. "What? What is it?"
"Emily Fields you are not going to give up your one true love to have a child with me..." Before I could even finish she cut me off.
"Really Ali? After all that we've been through this is what you think? You really think that Paige is my one true love? I sat around everyday I thought you were dead praying it wasn't true. The week you came back I was so happy inside. No matter who I've been with and how much love I've had for them no one compares to you. And when you showed back up in Rosewood I thought that maybe we could've finally had a chance to see if we could be more than friends. It didn't work out and since I've watched you get married, and I've dated a few women. To me you've always been the love of my life but you've made it painfully clear that you don't feel the same too many times for me to put myself in that situation again. You kissed me because you were hurting, I kissed you because kissing you makes my world stop even after all these years." She sits up, and I can tell that she is aggravated. I sit up beside her and although I should tell her exactly how I feel I can't. I don't even know if she would believe me if I did. I put my hand in hers and our fingers intertwine.
"I just want you to be happy. And this is clearly something we'll have to talk about more. And you'll have to talk to Paige, who knows she may surprise you. I don't think she feels like I'm a threat any more anyway. She knows I'm pregnant just not with your child and we talked and I told her that she won, that she loves you better than I ever could." She ripped her hand from mine, and stood up.
"How would you know you've never really tired to love me?!" She walked into the living room. I knew that tone, she was upset and hurt, and confused. So I just laid down and silently cried. If she only understood that I feel like a black cloud on everyone's life and I don't want to ruin what we have. It's not perfect but it's something. I'm the same girl who held her while she wept about her dad dying because it had been a whole week and she hadn't shown emotions trying to be strong for her mom. I'm the only one who knew she was hiding things when she first came back to Rosewood. The one who offered to be there during her surgery to get her eggs removed. And in turn she's that for me, been here no matter what. And out of all of our friendships our bond is the strongest. We are all best friends, don't get me wrong but we know each person has a different dynamic and there are pairs. Spencer and Aria, Emily and Han, Emily and I, Han and Aria, and Aria and I. It doesn't take away from the fact that together we are unbreakable but it's always been unspoken that some of us are closer than others. Emily is loyal and caring, no one matches her kindness. I try to turn my mind off but the only good thing I can think about even hurts now. Emily is laying on my couch feeling lost and I can't bring myself to tell her the truth, to tell her that I love her the way she loves me. Another hour goes by and I begin to doze off. I feel Emily's arm back around me and I instantly fall asleep.
I wake up to my phone buzzing. I hop up realizing I didn't set an alarm. I look at the missed calls from school and the missed messages from Han, then the time. It's a little after noon. I move Em's arm and get up but of course she wakes up. "What's wrong? How are you feeling?" she asks sleepily but a heavy concern in her voice. I flash her a slight smile.
"We overslept, it's like noon and I have to call work and Hanna." I look at my phone.
"Shit!" she hops up "There was a swim meet across town that the team was supposed to attend. Fuck!" I laugh as I wait on Principal Hackett to answer. Em is so cute and frazzled. She rarely uses any curse words so it's serious when she does unlike Han & Spence who have no filter.
"Hi. Yes. This is Alison. No, no everything is fine. I just wasn't feeling well last night and I must have forgot to set my alarm. No. No. She is. Okay, of course I'll let her know. Yes. Okay, thank you and I'm sorry for the inconvenience." I hung up the phone. That went better than I expected. Even without knowing about the baby people have been a little more lenient with me because of Charlotte passing and my husband being a fraud. I walk into the living room where Em is on the phone talking to Paige.
"I know. I understand but…" oh no there goes her brow scrunch again. "I get it Paige. Alright fine. I'll see you when you get back then." She sits beside me on the couch an throws her head on the back of the couch.
"Well I'll assume that Principal Hackett was nicer than Paige. He said he understood with everything that has been going on and after first period they called in a sub, so not to stress and enjoy my day." She lifted her head up.
"Yes way better. Paige is at the swim meet they won't be back until around four and she's upset that I'm with you. I guess today would be the perfect time to tell her that we're pregnant!" I raise my eyebrow and laugh as she stares at me confused. "Fine Ali laugh at my pain." I laugh even harder.
"I'm not laugh because you have to deal with a bitchy Paige I've seen it first hand and it's not fun. I'm laughing because you said we are pregnant. Because ya know the last time I checked Em I'm the one housing this kid." I look at her to see if I lightened the mood. She smiled and I knew it helped.
"Okay fine. But I have to deal with the mood swings, and the cravings. Pickles at three in the morning." My eyes light up as I listen to her talk. I put rest my hand on her arm.
"Mmm pickles!" We both laugh as she rests her head on the back of the couch again. We sit there in a comfortable silence. Until my stomach starts to growl.
"So since we have the day off why don't we go grab some brunch?" She suggests, and I couldn't more pleased. I nod my head in agreeance and stand up.
"Yes please. I'm gonna go get changed and call Hanna. I'm sure she's worried sick." I go into my room and put Han on speaker phone while I wait on her to answer and pick out an outfit.
"Please tell me you & Em are okay because I've been worried sick about you." I could hear the seriousness in her voice.
"We're fine. We had a late night and ended up oversleeping." I decided on a sundress an a jacket because it's be been little chilly lately.
"Ooh! So was that a tired from hot sex or tired from talking about our feelings kind of overslept?" Only Hanna would ask that. I laugh.
"We talked." I said drily not really wanting to get into too much detail.
"Please tell me you finally told her you are madly in love with her, and you're beyond happy to be her baby mama even under these fucked up circumstances?!" I laughed again completely forgetting that Hanna was on speakerphone and that Emily was in the same quiet house that I was.
"Bye Han. Don't worry about returning the car, I've got Em for the day." I said turning around and locking eyes with Emily.
"I'm sure you do. Don't do anything I would do bitch." And with that Han an hung up. Emily had thrown on a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, an her Sharks jacket. I questioned how much of that she actually heard if not all but I wasn't gonna ask.
"I'm ready whenever you are, I'll be in the living room. No need to rush." She combs her fingers through her hair and moves it to one side, which I've always found so damn sexy and walks away. While I'm getting dressed all I can think is what if this is what loving Emily Fields is like. Sleeping in, bunch, calm in the middle of the craziest storms. Spencer had that with Toby, Aria with Ezra, Hanna with Caleb, but I've never had that with anybody just moments with Em. Was it possible to turn our moments into something continuous. I finish getting dressed, give myself a one over in the mirror before going to grab my keys.