You've made it to the end. Thank you so much for reading Batgirl's Thrills, and thank you to everyone who left comments or reviews for me — I've read them all and really appreciate you taking the time and effort to do that! As I've said before, this is my first ever fanfiction, and it's been really fun. It's been great connecting with people who all know and love the Batfamily lore, and especially those who believed Barbara deserved a fantastic sex life without any shame. I hope I've shaped our perception of her now into a badass hero who also proudly likes to get it on :) I will definitely be writing more in the future, so I hope to see you again soon!
—
"It has become abundantly clear that Batgirl's relationship with you two has created a liability on this team."
Batman towered over us as he stood at the foot of my bed, his mouth set in a hard line. I felt a strange mix of rage, embarrassment, irritation, nausea, and physical pain swirling inside me. I couldn't formulate any sort of response — but Jason could. He stomped up to Batman, his fists clenched.
"Um, if my memory serves me correctly, I remember Dick beating the shit out of Barbara, not me —"
"— Hey!" I said in protest.
"— and, in fact, I was the one who saved her no thanks to you, Bruce. Maybe you should keep a closer eye on the weaker link on your team before you start casting blame."
"Weaker link?" Dick said in a tense voice as he tried to sit himself upright in his bed. "I don't remember doing anything wrong besides —"
"— I thought you didn't remember anything, Boy Wonder? Or did you just forget that you almost killed the woman you supposedly love?" Jason interjected. I looked at Jason sharply and felt Dick's gaze turn to me.
"L-Love? Did I say that?" Dick asked softly. I could now feel Bruce watching me intensely. "Barbara, I'm so sorry about this. I had no idea, honestly. I can't even imagine doing what I did to you, or what I could have done to you…"
"It's alright, Dick," I said with a small smile. "I knew it wasn't you. Though I still couldn't bring myself to take you out." I heard Jason hmph beside me.
"Listen," Batman said, pulling his cowl off his head. I looked at his strangely troubled face underneath his dark, furrowed brows. His hair was adorably mussed. Every inch of me wanted to reach up and fix it for him — to run my hands through his hair. But then he turned towards me, and his piercing gaze brought me back to reality.
"Batgirl, your recovery is going to take a couple weeks. I think you should take this time to distance yourself from the job a little. And maybe even some time after you've healed." … And reality hit me, hard.
"What?!" I exclaimed. "What are you saying? Are you benching me?" The heart rate monitor behind me seemed to spike into overdrive.
"Just temporarily. You need time away from all this. Not just for your sake, but for Dick and Jason. There's clearly been an emotional compromise here, and I can't have that out on the field."
"Then why not bench one of them? Why am I the one who has to sit out?!" I glared at Bruce, who just looked at me defiantly. Bruce and I rarely butted heads, not compared to the other boys. But this was too far. Was I being punished for my… my sexual relationship with these guys? Maybe even with Bruce, himself? I couldn't let it stand.
"I don't think she needs to sit out," Jason said, plopping himself back in his chair and putting his feet up on my bed. Hmm. He may care about me, but that doesn't mean he magically got manners. "I work solo, I don't need time away from her. I'm a part-timer on this team anyway — if that. And I'm willing to cut back hours," he said with a wink to me.
"Yes, I agree," Dick said. "This is all my fault, I shouldn't have allowed myself to… to become compromised."
"Oh, trust me, you two are going back to solo work. Dick, you're going to stay in Blüdhaven until I say," Batman said. Dick's mouth opened to protest, but after a glance at me and my pathetic condition, he backed down.
"Great! So I don't need to take a break, right? I should be fine in a week or two, then I'll be back with you, Tim and Damian." I said, feeling buoyant. This work was my life. It was hard for me to take even a couple days off from work.
"No." Batman crossed his arms over his chest. I stared at him in silence. "I think it would be good for all of us to take some time apart, and Batgirl, you're going to take time off."
"But —" I interjected, like a child protesting being grounded.
"End of discussion. Now get some rest. Jason, time to head home."
"I don't —" Jason started.
"Now," Batman said with frightening authority. Jason looked at him defiantly, but it was clear no one was going to change their mind. He walked back over to me.
"Think about what I said," Jason said quietly before leaning down to plant a quick kiss on my hairline. Before any of us had time to ponder this unexpected and completely out of character move of tenderness, he was on his bike and peeling out of the Batcave.
With one last silent look, Bruce turned on his heels and went back into the manor. I sat there stewing when I noticed I was wearing just my sports bra and athletic hot shorts. Who undressed me?
I heard Dick stir next to me as he threw his feet over the raised bed and disconnected from his heart monitor. Apparently, he was feeling back to normal. I watched as he circled over to my bedside. My heart constricted as I realized I'd have to tell him the truth — that once again, our timing wasn't right.
At this moment I didn't know what was in store for me and Jason, let alone me and Bruce, but after the sewer, I knew Dick and I needed space. Real space this time. But Dick knew me too well — or maybe I was bad at hiding my emotions. He held his hands up before him as if to calm me down.
"Don't worry, Babs, I'm not here to profess further love for you," he said with a bittersweet laugh as he sat next to me. "I know what I did in the car was out of line, let alone what happened in the sewer." He reached out and took my hand, clasping it between his warmly.
"I think it's safe to say you drive me crazy — literally," he said with a short chuckle, but avoiding my eyes. "You're not mine to claim —"
"— And you're not mine to claim, either," I butted in. I refused to let him blame himself completely when I reciprocated so freely. I had to accept it — I couldn't have Nightwing constantly in my back pocket. "It's just hard to let go," I said quietly. Our eyes locked — his the brightest blue, the same color as the bird emblazoned on his chest. "I wasn't kidding, what I said earlier. A part of me will always love you." My voice ended in a desperate rasp.
"And I wasn't kidding either. We may be apart for now, but with us, we're never done." He smiled his crooked, handsome, boyish smile. You couldn't keep him down for long. "Remember that."
I nodded, feeling a welling feeling build up within me that I desperately tried to quell. But once again, I couldn't hide anything from my best friend. He swiftly chucked me under the chin with his fingers and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Seems like I'm being sent out of town," he said standing up and giving his back a quick stretch. "And you're going on vacation." I rolled my eyes at him and smiled. And just like that the air around us settled and everything was normal once again.
"You mean given a pink slip?" I said with bitterness as I unhooked my annoying heart monitor.
"Nah, it's not that. Bruce will snap out of it in a day or two. You know he's always like this when one of us gets hurt. He blames himself, as if we're still little kids he tricked into this business."
"Yeah, I know. But this is extreme. He wants me to rest even after I've healed," I said incredulously as if it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. Most wouldn't understand, but Dick did. He stood there looking thoughtful.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" He asked. I considered it, but already knew what I had to do.
"No, it's alright. I think I'll try talking to him," I said. Dick smiled.
"Best of luck, Batgirl," he said, saluting me casually as he headed out the door. I sat back in my bed and crossed my arms, smiling. Things were at one time both incredibly easy and incredibly hard when it came to Richard Grayson. Maybe that's why I kept coming back.
"And I'm just a call away!" He called out and winked before disappearing out of sight.
—
As soon as I was able to (aka with Alfred's approval as our resident nurse), I left the Batcave and headed home. In the days I spent in the Cave, Bruce didn't visit me again, though I knew he kept an eye on me through his security cameras. He was avoiding me. I knew this would happen though, and I had a plan. I may not be able to talk to him as Batman, but I could talk to him as Bruce Wayne. And talking to Mr. Wayne about Batman was my best shot at catching him off guard.
I walked through the front doors of Wayne Enterprises, an elaborate and breathtakingly large neo-art deco building right in the center of Gotham. The heels of my booties clicked quietly on the black marble floors, my grey mini-skirt swaying slightly as I walked towards the main desk. I stopped short when I saw the beautiful golden sculptural art piece behind the receptionists, who were tiny in comparison to its massive scale. I cleared my throat. I couldn't lie — I was intimidated. I thought I'd have more influence over Bruce then Batman, but it was clear they were both equally powerful. Just in different ways. But I couldn't turn back now.
"Hello, can you guide me to Mr. Wayne's office?" I asked the woman behind the desk.
"Take the elevator to the top floor, honey. That's all Mr. Wayne's." I gulped and nodded my thanks.
As I stepped into the elevator, I nervously checked my lipstick and eyeliner in my mirror compact. I had only been in Wayne Enterprises once before on a school field trip. Bruce had just taken up the helm of the company and had greeted us in the lobby. He had to have been in his mid-twenties then. I remember as a schoolgirl thinking he was incredibly handsome. He spoke so confidently before my class with his tailored suit and tall, authoritative stature. But even then I could see his eyes were warm and inviting. Who would have thought he was then beginning his career as the Batman, and I would become his Batgirl…
The golden elevator dinged above me. I tucked my hair behind my ear and strode out, determined to be cool and confident in this situation. I had to get back out into the field — that was the mission. Sitting in a bed all week was agony. I wasn't going to let him manhandle me after a mission went bad, especially when none of it was really my fault.
The lobby of Bruce's floor was an open expanse of cream and black marble with higher ceilings than I thought possible. I walked up to his receptionist, an older woman with glasses and beautiful deep skin.
"Hello," I said, trying to sound like I absolutely belonged there. "I have a 3 o'clock appointment with Mr. Wayne." The receptionist looked at me over her glasses.
"Name?" She asked.
"Gordon," I said. "The appointment name is under Commissioner James Gordon — my father. He should be joining soon." I lied. I knew when I put the appointment in, Bruce wouldn't see me. But he would see my dad, so I called pretending to be the police secretary.
The receptionist nodded and checked something on her desk.
"Alright, Ms. Gordon, I'll just let Mr. Wayne know you're here," she said rising from her chair and walking towards the giant double doors behind her. She knocked and poked her head through.
"Mr. Wayne, you're 3 o'clock is here," she said to my relief. If she had said my name he could have refused right there and then. I heard a muffled reply from Bruce through the thick doors (of course he needs his privacy), and the receptionist beckoned me forward.
"He's ready for you," she said. No, I don't think he is.
I slipped through the doors and stood there until I heard them close behind me. Bruce was sitting at his desk, deep in thought in the largest so-called office I had ever seen. A golden art deco arch glowed behind him with the Wayne Enterprises logo on it. Sleek gunmetal accents adorned the room, which included a small bar, a library, and two massive curved floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the city — including where the Batsignal would light up the night sky. I marveled at the room and the view. I almost resented him for how much money he had.
"Be with you in one second, Gordon," Bruce said in his deep voice, not looking up. He was wearing a dark navy suit, his hair styled back in a professional, yet undeniably sexy mess of dark hair.
"That's okay, I can wait," I said, barely suppressing a laugh at my own little deception. His head jerked up instantly.
"Barbara?" He exclaimed. I smiled slyly at him and gave an arrogant wave with a twinkle of my fingers. I couldn't help but gloat at catching him off guard.
"What are you doing here?" He stood up behind his large desk with a look of intense disapproval on his face.
I walked up to his desk and dropped my bag in one of the two seats positioned in front of it.
"I want to talk about…" I quickly looked over my shoulder just to make sure no one could hear, but with Bruce I knew I had nothing to worry about. "Going back to work with the team. I'm ready to go, and I don't see any reason why I need to sit out any longer."
"Barbara, you shouldn't be here. This is the last place we should be discussing these things," he said sharply, his dark brows furrowing. I crossed my arms stubbornly.
"Well, you never visited while I was bedridden, and I could never catch you around the house, mysteriously," I said with sarcasm.
"This is out of line. My word is final. I don't have to give any more explanation than I already have," he said taking a seat again and looking back down at his work.
"But I would like more of an explanation, Batman," I said harshly. His hand gripped a paper tightly as I let his alter ego's name hang heavily in the air before us. He looked up at me, his deep brown eyes fierce.
"I told you before, you got injured pretty heavily, and I wanted you to take time off for your wellbeing. It's my job to look after you all, especially when something goes wrong."
"You've never had the boys sit out this long," I said hotly. "They always went right back on the field once they had recovered, and I've been ready to go for days now. Is it because I'm a girl? What are you afraid of?"
"Watch it," he said in warning. I couldn't help my temper. I couldn't believe his bullshit of him just giving extra time for my recovery. I was convinced he wanted me out of the game for good after all the trouble I caused with Dick and Jason and him. But I wasn't going down without a fight.
"Bruce," I said, getting up and walking around his desk towards him. Curiously, he rolled back in his chair away from me a little. I stopped short. I held my hands up as if to assure I wouldn't touch him. Did he think I was some sex-crazed maniac or something? That with one touch, he'd succumb to my wicked ways?
"I'm sorry," I said, a little hurt. "I-I won't touch you."
"No," he said quickly, before rolling towards me again, but marginally. "It's alright, I just…" he sighed and touched his fingertips to his forehead, leaning his elbow on the desk. "Listen, I was worried about you. I am worried about you. I —"
"— I could see that," I interjected. "But the time for worrying is over. When Dick or Tim get injured—"
"I'm not talking about Dick or Tim, I'm talking about you. You're different. You—"
"— I'm a woman," I said, rolling my eyes.
"No, you're—" He tried again.
" — I'm not as skilled as them," I finished for him, trying to get to the point.
"Stop interrupting!" He said powerfully as he stood to his feet. I flinched slightly at his voice. "We've made love, okay Barbara?" I felt my eyes go wide as he stood close before me. "And this is exactly why we never should have. I'm acting on my emotions instead of my intelligence, and nothing I tell myself can make me stop at this point." I blinked at him, shocked. I couldn't think of anything to say, and this was made worse as I stood mesmerized by his intense gaze.
"I…" I began, determined to start talking even though I had no idea what to say. "I didn't realize. I'm sorry." He looked away and sighed, as if defeated.
"Listen," he said. "I know you're with Jason. And I know you and Dick have a history. I don't want to get in the way of that. In fact, I can't get in the way of anything going on in your personal life. But that doesn't mean I can separate myself from what we've done in the past."
My heart was pounding as I heard him talk about and admit things I would never dream would come out of his mouth. I think it was easier for him as Bruce Wayne than as Batman. And I suddenly realized there was more going on within him than I thought when it came to… us. I always assumed he had sex with women as he pleased just to satisfy his natural needs. Be it with me, or Catwoman, or Talia... He was never a normal man to me, he was more than human — better than human. But just like with Dick, I had underestimated his depth. He was a man, in the end.
"Dick… I… Jason…" I tried to spit out what I was trying to say in my mess of thoughts. He watched and listened patiently, his eyes getting kinder as we both moved off the offensive. "Dick and I are in the past. He has Starfire now, and I know they are perhaps better suited for each other than him and I. Jason… is a mystery. As I'm sure you know. He's… he's…" I couldn't find the right word I wanted to use. But as Bruce stood a mere foot away from me, I couldn't help but look at his perfect, fit body up and down, here in his massive office in this massive building — all of it his. Let alone a city outside under his control. I could smell his intoxicating scent: clean, woodsy, both musky and fresh, masculine… I closed the space between us and looked up at him. He didn't move away this time as he watched me under his nose, keeping his chin still.
"He's… just a boy," I said quietly. I saw him look down at my mouth, then back in my eyes, then back to my lips. I could physically see him, once again, weighing his options and battling within himself.
"Barbara, I can't. We can't again. You've already seen what this has made me do," he murmured huskily, though he didn't move away or stop looking at my mouth. I could see his hand gripping the desk beside him.
"But now I know. And if we've already done it once, a second time won't change much," I said as I now looked at his beautifully-shaped mouth. I reached up and traced his lips with my fingers. He remained stone-still under my touch. Only his eyes followed me. I traced my fingertips across his jaw and down his neck until I fingered his tie. I clenched it in my hand and pulled him by it so he had to lean down towards me. "Will it, Bruce?" His dark eyes were shining brightly, reflecting the light from the glass windows. If only school girl-version Barbara could see me now, with the boss of Wayne Enterprises. A slightly twisted thrill radiating through my chest as I thought of myself standing with my classmates, watching Bruce orate about all of his plans to help the city, and ten years later here I was, holding him by his necktie, alone in his office.
He reached up and tucked my hair behind my left ear, holding my face ever so slightly… a tender move, until I felt him twist his hand in my hair so he held me by it. My chin lifted ever so slightly from the force. I pulled his tie harder so he leaned even more forward, just enough for his lips to graze my chin — and I felt my teeth clench. I looked into his eyes and saw an ignited fire. Here, we go. His decision was made.
It was like we had heard a starting gun. I lifted myself on my tip toes and Bruce bent down at the same time, as we ferociously came together. I started moaning instantly from sheer arousal and anticipation. His lips bore down on mine, his tongue pushing through into my mouth instantly — so hungrily it almost took me aback. A guttural moan sounded through his open lips as he pushed me roughly against the golden art deco arch behind his desk. As our lips and tongues worked against each other with vigorous passion, my hands worked through his hair. A lock came loose from his styling and fell over his forehead.
"Oh, god, Barbara," he whispered into my neck. He pulled my hair back roughly with his twisted grip, triggering an aroused moan to escape my mouth and reverberate through the high ceilings. With my neck fully free, he tongued and massaged my skin with his lips, triggering lightning bolts between my legs that had me literally writhing between him and the wall where I stood, trapped. His heavy body bore down upon me, making me gasp in complete and utter lust.
He released my hair and my body from the wall in a jarring instant and took a step back from me as we caught our breath. It was like taking a timeout in a sparring match. We looked at each other in a daze, like a film was clouding our eyes. There was dark lipstick smudged all over his mouth and chin, his hair messy and springing free from its professional slick. As his thick chest heaved with breath, he watched me with heavy-lidded eyes as I watched him, in whatever physical state I was in. His hand reached back and clicked a hidden button under his desk. I heard a heavy lock slide through the doors of his office. Oh, my.
Not taking his eyes off me, he took off his suit jacket and tossed it in a side lounge chair.
"Come here," he said in a low tone. I obediently walked over to him and started to lean forward for a kiss, but he backed away.
"Take off your shirt," he said as he slowly removed his tie. I smiled sensually. He liked to be in control, and I was definitely okay with that. I removed my black fitted shirt and my lacy bra as well. Bruce scanned my body with heavy eyes, but a composed face.
"Get on the desk," he commanded. I followed his instructions now without a word of protest. I climbed on some important looking papers, but before I had a chance to settle in, Bruce suddenly lifted me up like I weighed absolutely nothing and flipped me around so my ass was in the air and my face was pinned against the desk. It was so animalistic I growled into the rich mahogany. Before I could let out a word of protest Bruce had ripped down my panties and given my pussy a wet, wide lick — I gasped out in shock. Bruce moaned quietly into my glistening wet folds.
His tongue explored my insides steadily — his nose even dipped inside me, and even now I couldn't believe that Bruce Wayne was vigorously eating me out. I closed my eyes and concentrated only on the sensations cascading through my body. Suddenly, Bruce pushed a finger into me while this tongue lapped at my clitoris, and I felt my eyes go wide. He pumped his finger in and out lazily while I moaned and writhed beneath him. Another finger in, and I couldn't have been more ready.
"Bruce," I whined quietly into the desk.
"Stay quiet, now," he murmured as his fingers curved inside of me. A choking noise escaped my lips while his other palm pressed into my clit. I could feel my wetness beginning to drip down his fingers.
"Quiet, Batgirl," he said with amused authority. Suddenly, he removed his hands and dug his face between my ass cheeks again. His mouth descended upon my most sensitive areas, his tongue girth dipped inside of me while he gave my asscheek a big smack. I tried to keep myself quiet… long seconds passed of sustained, glorious, wet pleasure as his mouth connected so deeply with my center... but I couldn't help it — another choked moan sounded off in my throat.
With that he backed away, grabbed my hips and spun me around to face him. Papers and office items hit the floor with a clatter, completely ignored. I looked up and saw Bruce's mouth shining with my wetness over him. Wrapped around his palm was his maroon tie.
"You have a problem with taking orders, don't you?" A calm smirk laid across his face. I nodded hypnotically. He took the tie and cleaned his mouth with it in one swipe.
"If we're going to do this a second time, you're going to need to stay quiet about it," he said as he positioned himself between my legs and leaned over me on the desk. I barely breathed as his face was inches from mine. I knew he said this playfully in the moment, but I also knew he was serious. I couldn't make any noise now… or any noise about it in the future. His eyes were dangerous now with both desire and desperation.
"Yes, sir," I said with a smile. He flashed a white smile at me before closing the gap between us and kissing me deeply. His hands grabbed my ass as he pushed himself against me. I licked his tongue as his hands came to my breasts and grabbed them possessively. He broke away —
"Good," he said. He leaned up and unravelled the tie around his palm before leaning back down and stuffing it into my open mouth.
"Ahhpfh," I groaned as the fabric went deep into my mouth. I arched my back subconsciously, aroused by his dominance.
"Good girl," he whispered as he kissed the corner of my mouth. "Because I want you — now." He stood straight up and unbuttoned and unzipped his dark trousers. I lied there, gagged, wet, and completely ready to be fucked. He grabbed a hold of his fully erect penis and guided it in. That full feeling racked my whole body and I groaned into the fabric blocking my vocal cords. But Bruce wasn't going slow today. You don't hook up at work to have slow, careful sex. You have rough, animal, dirty sex in a place you shouldn't. He steadily built up his speed so it was comfortable for me to rise with him.
He pounded his hips against my open legs now, grasping my breasts roughly to pin me down to the table. I arched my back in complete ecstasy. He continued to thrust in and out before he leaned down and licked my chest, one breast, then the next. He caught a nipple between his teeth while still pushing his hips against me, and I nearly screamed. Sweat began to build at his temples. Suddenly overcome with a wave of animalism, he growled and planted his palms on either side of body, then pounded into me rough and fast with my legs swung over his shoulders. I gripped the edge of the desk above me to keep me stable as I cried into my gag.
Suddenly, he picked me up from the desk by my bottom so I could wrap my legs around his waist. I rubbed my cheek against his beautifully chiseled face as he carried me to the thick glass window and pushed my back against it. He brought his hand up to my mouth, pulled the tie out of it and threw it behind him, only to replace it with his tongue in a feverish kiss. Oh, Bruce. How could I ever deny this? How could I ever stop our occasional sex when I know so deep within me how good it was?
He dropped my feet to the ground, then brought one up to wrap around his waist while he continued to steadily pump in and out of me in a steady pace. He tossed his head back to fling his hair off his forehead. I leaned against the window for the best angle, my bare buttcheeks exposed to Gotham below. Thank god Bruce's office was so high up. As he sped up even more, he grasped my face in his hands desperately, his fingers clutching my sharp cheekbones. I could barely remain standing, the erotic sensations were just too great.
"Bruce… Bruce… oh!... Oh my god." I pleaded beneath his strong hands.
"Oh, Jesus. Barbara — you're beautiful," Bruce moaned out as his eyes roamed my body, my breasts, my hair cascading down my back, my face. I could feel myself reaching a breaking point, and I knew Bruce was getting there too. He suddenly pulled out.
"Please," he groaned quietly. "Let me?" Not fully waiting for my permission, he turned me around so my hands crashed against the window as he bent me over so he could fuck me from behind. Oh, yes. I brought a hand immediately to my clit as he grasped my hips and fucked me hard. I could see our reflection in the mirror as it was slightly curved, and I watched Bruce, with his shirt open and large, absolutely perfect muscles bulging and squirming as he used one hand to rub my lower back affectionately. That was Bruce: at once incredibly respectful and gentle and incredibly rough and dirty. He continued to pound me hard, and I watched his face tilt up towards the sky, his lips parted as he came in me, his back bent over as shivering numbness racked his body in waves.
"Uhhh! Uhhhhh, oh my god," he let out, while his hand reached out desperately to grasp the window in front of him to keep from falling on top of me.
As for me, watching Bruce reach orgasm inside of me was enough to send me over the edge. I cried out when he did, and while he leaned forward, I leaned back into him, and he caught me with an arm right under my breasts. He held me up as my knees gave out and my body let itself worry only about feeling the pleasure that radiated inside of me.
He held my body up easily as he kissed my sweaty shoulders and collarbone as my head hung limply as I came down. His hands still roamed my body, as if he wanted our encounter to last forever — or maybe he was memorizing it for later.
"Barbara," he whispered into my hair. "Sweet, sweet, Barbara." I turned around now and wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my body, easily encircling my slender frame almost completely. I gazed into his warm chocolate brown eyes and felt I could melt in them. If he were any other man besides the Batman… I could stay with him forever. But then again, there just wasn't anyone else like him.
"Is this the part when you tell me this can't happen again?" I said softly. He considered my question thoughtfully as he picked me up again and sat me down on his desk as he stood before me. We still held each other tight.
"I can't promise you anything — any sort of commitment. You know that, Barbara," he said in his deep tone. Yes, I knew that. I always knew Gotham came before anything and anyone. He couldn't share any real space in his heart for anyone else. Not when it could compromise his work as Batman. I knew that, and yet, I couldn't stop my eyes from shifting downcast.
"But I can promise—" he said, now touching my lips with his fingers. They parted sensually. "I won't be able to stop this from happening again."
That was all I needed. I couldn't stop the smile from breaking across my face, and I brought my lips down upon his once more.
—
The wind whipped through my hair as I sped through Gotham on my Batbike. Oh, I missed this. It felt so good to zip into my Batgirl outfit after so many weeks off recovering. Last week's encounter with Bruce in his office served me in many ways… I had no idea we would have sex again, that was pure serendipity. But we also reached a compromise. I could go back in the field for strictly patrol — no heavy hitters or evil masterminds. Just thugs and crooks for the time being. That was enough for me.
The streets were almost deserted now as it was pushing 2am. I stopped at a red light when something caught my eye. I flipped the visor on my helmet and looked into the clear night sky. The batsignal. I could have driven towards it; I could have asked to help through the communicator. But that was off limits for now. I closed my visor and drove on.
By 3am I had stopped one robbery and a nasty mugging that left a cut on my cheek. It was no matter though. I put those boys away with a smile on my face. As I drove by Gotham Harbor, observing the moon's bright reflection on the gentle waves, I sighed in content. Out here was where I felt the most like myself, the most useful, the most —
A beep sounded in my ear.
"Batgirl, here," I said into my communicator.
"Batgirl, it's Red Robin. Batman, Robin and I are caught up with Killer Croc right now and Red Hood's gone out of control near the docks. Can you handle it?" I could feel my face twist up. Oh, no.
"What's he doing?" I said as I pulled my bike to a halt.
"What do you think? Oof! —" Tim said as I heard Croc roar in the background. "Taking it too far, per usual. We think it's with Black Mask's crew again." I looked around myself desperately, as if there was someone around who could take care of this for me. This was sounding all too similar to the first night Jason and I… well. I had been avoiding him since Batman had kicked him out of the cave. To tell the truth, I didn't know what to say to him. Or how I felt.
"What's the matter?" I heard Damian drawl in my ear. "I thought you couldn't wait to get back in it again."
"This is not what I meant," I said deadpan.
"Just be careful, Batgirl," I heard Bruce growl. No way out of this, it seems.
"Alright, I'll take care of it," I said with a sigh. Why does Red Hood always cause just as much trouble for us as he does good? I flipped open the computer screen on the front of my bike and saw everyone's coordinates on a map of Gotham. I could see Batman and the boys way across town. Dick was way out in Blüdhaven, and there I was by the Harbor… and there's Red Hood, not five blocks away from me.
I kicked my bike back to life. Here we go again.
I weaved in and out of warehouses, crates and metal containers. The closer I got to Jason, the louder the gunshots rang through the empty night. I rounded one last corner and saw Jason taking on a crowd of men, all with hard black face coverings. My vision zeroed in on one thug with a huge tommy gun pointed right at Jason who was grappling with another man. My mind worked in overtime — I made the quick assessment that me on this bike wouldn't get there in time. But the bike, without my weight, would. I quickly locked the gears on the highest speed and jumped backwards off the seat. As I arched my back, flying through the air, my adrenaline shot up. Right before I landed, safely crouched on the ground, I saw my beautiful bike pummel the thug — him and my bike crashed into a metal container with a loud explosion. I took a half second to mourn the loss of my bike. Another one gone.
Jason turned at the sound of the crash, gun pointed at me. He kicked his opponent down off him, who had fallen to his knees.
"Back to babysit me, huh, Batgirl?" He called out, shooting two thugs in the kneecaps without breaking eye contact with me. I watched the two men collapse to the ground screaming in pain. I growled, gritting my teeth.
"I'll stop when you quit acting like a baby," I yelled out, taking out a black-masked creep who ran at me from behind. We each focused on incapacitating the henchmen who surrounded us, until only one remained. I approached him from one side, Red Hood from the other. He looked at us, his eyes terrified beneath his mask.
"What's Black Mask up to?" I said sternly, my hands on my hips. He gave one look at me, then took off at a sprint down the alleyway. I was just about to run after him when in my peripheral I saw Jason raise a gun from his leg holster. I turned just in time to see him pull the trigger.
"Red Hood, no!" My scream echoed through the night as the fleeing henchmen hit the ground, dead. Blood filled the street from a perfectly executed bullet between the eyes. Anger exploded within me like a volcano erupting. I swiftly brought my leg down on his wrist so his gun went flying.
"Hey! — ugh!" He exclaimed as my attack continued. He blocked my punches until I got a kick to the side of his head, and he stumbled to the ground.
"Why is it always the same thing, Red Hood?" I yelled, my cheeks flaming in anger. "You don't pick your battles — everything is a battle to you! A fight to the death!"
"That's who I am, sweetie," he said, picking himself up off the ground. "Because you don't know when it will be to the death." He picked up his gun and loaded it back in its holster. I dropped my shoulders.
I didn't approve of how he fought, but I could at least understand where he was coming from.
I shouldn't have let my guard down. Jason kicked me in the upper abdomen, and I flew backwards, the wind knocked out of me. I gasped for air as I rolled against the unconscious bodies of Black Mask's men.
"I thought the boss put you under house arrest," he said walking towards me. I raised myself on my elbows.
"Yeah, what do you care?" I grunted out. He picked me up by my collar and lifted me in the air like a common criminal. I could have killed him.
"I thought I made it clear I do care, Barbie," he said quietly as I squirmed.
"You have a funny way of showing it."
"I thought you didn't want to be coddled. Aren't you always going on about that?" His head cocked to one side, mockingly.
I swung my legs up against his chest and kicked him hard on the cheek. He grunted and let me fall to the ground, where I landed on my toes, crouched. I tossed three small explosives as he fell backwards, which exploded near his face.
"Ahhrgh!" he cried as sparks released from his helmet. I could see wirings and exposed machinery beneath the red plates as the internal lights flickered out. One plate shattered. He hit a release and tore the mask off, which spluttered on the ground. He looked at me, furious through the white slits of his backup domino mask. His cheek was slashed with electrical burns.
"This is the thanks I get for saving your life from Boy Wonder, huh?" He yelled, stalking up to me.
"Well, I don't want to coddle you," I said snarkily.
"Enough!" he said, grabbing me by the shoulders. My breath caught in my chest as his face leered over mine. "Why have you been avoiding me?"
"I-I-I — what? No. I haven't…" I pushed out of his arms and turned my back on him. I had assumed Jason and I would continue our lives as we always had. With everything left unsaid because we didn't need to say it — acting solely on physical attraction alone. It had worked up until now. I know things got perhaps a little emotional down in the sewer… and in the Batcave afterwards. But with this kind of work, emotions sometimes run high, and we often say things we don't really mean. But did Jason actually mean what he said? With the way he was acting, the answer was a resounding yes.
"Batgirl, don't lie. Don't! —" Jason yelled after me as I shot my grapple gun into the air and flew away. Why was I running away? Why could I not bear to talk to Jason about… us? It's been something I've been terrified about since the beginning. And even I didn't know why.
Suddenly, I heard a second pop behind me. He is relentless. I landed on a nearby roof and took off in a run before grappling to a taller building. I peeked over my shoulder and saw him following me closely.
I landed on a tall apartment high-rise and was about to run again when a massive force tackled me to the ground. I grunted in pain as Jason and I rolled together on the dirty rooftop.
"Get off me!" I snarled.
"Once again, in order to get anywhere with you I have to physically hold you down," he said as his hips sat on mine and hands pinned down my wrists. I blushed and thought about our first kiss on a rooftop not unlike this one when Jason tied me up.
His fingers dug into my wrists, and I struggled against his grip.
"You're such a brute!" I yelled.
"Flattery won't work, Barbie. I want an answer." His eyes narrowed.
"If this is supposed to be you charming me, you're failing spectacularly." He rolled his eyes and finally climbed off of me. I just laid where he left me on the ground, exhausted. I stared at the stars, my arms over my head, praying someone up there could make my feelings less complicated.
Jason stood over me, waiting for me to stand up. When I didn't, he just plopped down and laid on his back, right next to me. We laid there in silence for a couple of minutes. I spent that blessed time thinking of what I was going to say. All of a sudden, the beginning notes of classical music began to play — it was drifting from within the apartment tower beneath us. With the twinkling stars and soft violin sounds smoothing the edges of our night, I could palpably feel us relax. Gotham began to change into a city where you could actually stop and take a deep breath. That was usually never the case, especially for us.
"Thank you for saving me, Jason," I whispered into the night. He grunted softly beside me and cleared his throat. Thankfulness devoid of sarcasm or irony always made Jason uncomfortable. Not that he gets it much.
"You're welcome," he said. Silence settled between us again. I heard him shuffle beside me, like he was deciding whether or not to say something.
"Where have you been this week, Barbie?" His voice was gentle. I hesitated. "I came by your place a couple times. I thought you might drop by mine at least." I knew he had come by. One of those times I was actually at home and had to physically hide, like a coward.
"I haven't been able to sleep at all," he said a little bitterly. My heart twisted.
"Oh. So you just needed your sex buddy to exhaust you to sleep then?" He sat up instantly.
"Of course not," he said sharply. "Why do you do this? You run away when I tell you I care about you, but then I mention something that relates to our causal relationship and you jump down my throat!"
I sat up and climbed to my feet.
"No," he said, his gloved hand gripping my arm. "You don't get to run away again."
"What do you want me to say?" I said, turning on him. "That I care about you too? Of course I do! But who says that's enough to make us change what we are or-or what we have in any way?" I ripped my arm out of his grip and walked to the building's edge.
"Are you kidding me?" He called after me, looking incredulous.
"Everything is great the way it is right now. We have our jobs, we have our sex. Do you need anything more?" I said over my shoulder.
"Of course I do!" He swung me around to face him. "Dick warned me about this. That you can never commit. That you want the best parts out of two types of relationships — because you're selfish." Jason towered over me, his thick hair whipping back and forth in the rising wind. My own hair flew around my face, and I pushed it back, irritated.
"I'm selfish?! Wait — you've been talking to Dick about me?" My fists clenched at my sides.
"You want everything, no matter how badly it affects the other people," he poked his own chest several times for emphasis, "in your life. People who really actually care about you." My mouth hung open in shock.
"I don't think I've made it so bad for you Jason Todd, or have you forgotten every time I've made you come — and helped you sleep!"
"Jesus Christ, Barbie!" He rolled his eyes like I was the stupidest person he'd ever encountered. "It's not the fucking sex that made me sleep — it was you!"
Silence. I stared into the white eyes of his red mask.
"What?" I said softly. He sighed and hung his head, like it pained him to have to say these words out loud. He didn't look at me when he spoke.
"The sex was obviously fantastic. I could never turn that down. But it was you, Barbara. You just have that personality. You help me relax. To be content in the moment. With you." Jason walked towards me slowly, his eyes soft now as the classical music swelled in the shifting winds. "I wasn't kidding back in the Batcave… I need you. I know you don't need anyone. But… some people aren't as strong as you." He looked away from me, his hands digging deep into the pockets of his brown leather jacket.
I stood as still as stone, my eyes wide and my lips still parted in shock.
"So… yeah, I want more," he said. "And I guess that make me selfish too." I could feel my eyes watering inexplicably. Must be the wind. He looked into my eyes and closed the gap between us, taking me into his arms. He hugged me tight and easily tucked his chin over my head, between my bat ears.
"Jason… I can't…" I said. I thought of Bruce and Dick and everything I couldn't yet let go of. He pulled back to look at me, but still had me trapped in his strong arms.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me, Barbie," he said sternly. He reached up and tore his domino mask off, revealing his brilliant green eyes against the sparkling night sky.
I looked at him wordlessly, taking in his sharp jaw, the cuts and scrapes that marred his otherwise perfect face. The white streak in his hair that whipped dramatically in the wind. I just wanted to run my fingers through it… and lick down his jaw until I reached those perfect lips —
But more than that. I wanted to lie in bed with him, side by side like we did on this rooftop. I wanted to tease him, go out and eat dinner with him, watch movies, make fun of the commercials with him and just help him in any way I could. And, yes, I wanted to make love to him.
But more than even any of that — I wanted to get to know him. More than what he put out to me and the Batfamily. And it was clear to me now… he just might want to show me who he really was.
I finally turned to him, ready to speak.
"I can't do that," I said with a half-smile. Jason grinned. Honest-to-god, not-because-he-hurt-somebody, pure-happiness, grinned. I laughed and pushed my cowl off my face in one movement, then pressed my lips against his. He reciprocated hungrily as I wrapped my arms around his neck and his wrapped tightly around my waist.
Never willing to miss an opportunity, his tongue pressed into my mouth and his hand reached around and squeezed one ass cheek. I mumbled a laugh into our joined lips.
We broke the kiss and Jason cupped my cheek with one hand, his thumb stroking my freckles. I smiled, ready to take on the new challenge that was Jason Todd. He pressed his forehead to mine.
"I love you, Barbie."