He'd had every single intention of poking his head into Grillby's to fetch Sans on the way back, but the closer he got, the less harm he saw in letting his brother take a little bit more of a break. His mind was made up for him when he heard Sans raising his voice to tell some corny pun over the laughter already building. They all sounded like they were having fun. Besides, he'd found what he'd needed to finish up much faster that he'd thought. Probably because he'd been afraid of running into Undyne, and then being forced to explain why he was crying all over her armor.
He grimaced at the thought. If his little display of near hysteria was any indication, Sans was the only one he was safe being around right now, and that was just because his brother knew why he kept acting out of sorts.
He tried to hum a guard-ly tune of his own composure as he walked along.
He stopped short as he made it back to the puzzle, because Sans was standing there with two takeout bags, which hardly seemed possible. "BUT… YOU WERE… SANS, HOW MANY SHORTCUTS DO YOU HAVE, ANYWAY?"
*heh, well, let's just say in the long run, it took less effort to figure the shortcuts than it'd have taken to go the long way every time i left the house.
Sheer laziness. He dismissed it. "I DIDN'T MIND YOU STAYING THERE FOR LONGER, IF YOU WANTED. JUST THIS ONCE."
Sans winked, holding up the second bag. *aw, you just don't want an order of burg. but you'll like this; trust me.
It was likely a prank. Possibly across time and space, even. But he took the bag and peered inside it anyway, and broke into a delighted grin, despite himself. Inside, was one of his very own containers of spaghetti, steaming hot, with a fork and everything.
*had grilbz heat it up for ya. figured even you needed to take a break long enough to get some food into ya.
"I RESENT THAT REMARK. THE GREAT PAPYRUS TAKES NO BREAKS! STILL… YOU DID GO TO THE TROUBLE… YOU'VE PUT ME IN AN AWKWARD POSITION, SANS! IT WOULD BE TERRIBLY RUDE OF ME TO IGNORE THIS GESTURE."
*not to mention letting that meal of yours go to waste, instead of to waist.
"SANS! THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. SKELETONS DON'T GAIN WEIGHT." Sans just grinned up at him. "HOWEVER… YOU ARE CORRECT THAT IT WOULD BE WASTEFUL OF ME TO IGNORE THIS MASTERPIECE. BUT ONLY A SHORT BREAK, ALRIGHT?" He brushed some snow of the top of a nearby rock, and sat down.
Sans's grin seemed to widen as he plopped into the snow, then pulled out a greasy burger that nearly made him reconsider. *oh, almost forgot. here. got you a milk, too.
Too meaning in addition to the spaghetti, and not because Sans had gotten one for himself. He wondered absently how much of a tab Sans was running in ketchup alone. At least the ketchup was somewhat similar to sauce; both were made from tomatoes, after all. Foodwise, it was one of the few links they shared. Right now, for instance, Sans could have brought two meals of spaghetti… he had to know that he wouldn't mind sharing.
He tried not to watch as Sans took a big bite of the sinister sandwich, and focused instead on his spaghetti. Sans managed to chew, and strike up a conversation all while grinning over at him. It almost would have been impressive if he didn't seem to be concentrating the hardest on the grin. *so i get where you're going with the whole 'befriend the human' plan. but i still can't figure out why this puzzle's so important to ya.
He carefully finished chewing before he answered. Not because he needed the time to think, but because talking with a mouthful of food was rude and disgusting, even if it was spaghetti instead of 98% grease. "IT'S BECAUSE THESE PUZZLES ARE MEANT TO BE SOLVED WITH TEAMWORK AND FRIENDSHIP. WHEN THE HUMAN COMES THROUGH, I'M GOING TO STOP THEM BY BEING SO GREAT, THEY WILL SEE THE ERROR OF THEIR WAYS, AND STRIVE TO BE MORE LIKE THE GREAT PAPYRUS."
Sans swallowed before he spoke this time, already following his example, and proving that his plan was foolproof. *you really think it'll be enough? i mean, who wouldn't want to be more like you, sure. but this human's gonna have to put a heck of a lot of effort into it. 'course… i guess that'd be pretty papyrus of them, huh?
He nodded, beaming. "OF COURSE! AND I THINK THEY ALREADY FEEL VERY BADLY FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE. THEY DIDN'T ERASE THE WORLD. SO I SHALL JUST HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO HELP EACH OF THEM. I KNOW THAT CHARA IS HURTING, BUT IF WE CAN FIND OUT WHY THE HUMAN DID WHAT THEY DID, THEN THERE WONT BE ANY NEED FOR CHARA TO WATCH THEIR FAMILY DIE. OR… ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE TO DO THE SAME." He stirred his spaghetti with his fork.
Sans pulled a crumpled note from his pocket. *i wonder what's taking 'em so long. when'd they show up last time?
"I'M NOT SURE. THING'S HAPPENED SO FAST… IT WAS JUST A NORMAL DAY, AND THEN THERE WAS A HUMAN, AND… EVERYTHING JUST WENT WRONG. BUT I EXPECT THEY COULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE. SO… PERHAPS… WHEN WE'RE FINISHED EATING, I SHOULD GET OVER TO MY PUZZLE, AND YOU CAN FINISH UP HERE."
Sans took a large bite, and spent such a long time chewing it, he had to be stalling for time. *look, papyrus, you don't want me near the human. i get it. i'm not real excited about you getting anywhere near 'em, either.
"WELL, THAT'S A BIT DIFFERENT." Or at least, he would have thought it would have been, if he wasn't coming straight from a timeline where Sans's fears had been proven to be justified.
Sans picked at the little white seeds on top of his bun, struggling with something. *paps… if i begged ya not to get involved… what would you say? It was a simple question, asked in a nonchalant enough sort of voice. But there was a hint of torture in the eyes that refused to meet his.
"BROTHER… EVEN IF THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND WAS NOT AT STAKE… I COULD NOT JUST STAND ASIDE AND DO NOTHING TO HELP."
Sans nodded. *i figured as much. heh… i guess even icouldn't do nothing for once. but… let's try not to think about what hasn't worked in the past, k? you're in charge of this one, bro, and i can't think of anyone i'd rather have calling the shots.
He opened his mouth, confidence renewed, when another voice, almost as loud as his own rang out over the snow. "Hey dweebs! What's all this about Papyrus being in charge?"
"UNDYNE!" Very much alive, from the sounds of it, since he didn't dare to turn around. "WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" He shot a pleading look at his brother.
"Just checking in on the Snowdin sentries. I found the dogs at their stations like expected, but now I've found you two having a snack break? Papyrus, I'm surprised at you!" He couldn't tell if she was more amused to have found him at fault, or disappointed. What if she was disappointed in him?
Sans chuckled, not missing a single beat. *you shouldn't be. we're taking out lunch break now 'cause pap worked us right through it to make sure these puzzles were up to date. At least his brother could think fast for someone who was so slow on his feet… wait! That was exactly what happened! Sans hadn't even bothered to come up with a clever excuse!
"Well in that case… hey, something wrong, Papyrus?"
Oh no! He was tipping her off somehow! "WH-WHY DO YOU ASK?"
"I was just wondering if I was missing a tooth or something. Why are you blocking me out like that?"
He watched Sans take another bite of his hamburger. For a split second, his brother's eyes jerked to the side, not quite at Undyne. What was he trying to…? Oh, drat. He was holding his hand up to the side of his head to hide his face from Undyne.
He took a deep breath as he lowered it. He had to think fast. "I'M NOT MAD AT YOU, UNDYNE… I'M JUST… ASHAMED FOR YOU TO FIND ME LIKE THIS." Maybe Sans had a point. Maybe the truth worked just as well for the truth than some clever story. "A FUTURE MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD SHOULDN'T REQUIRE ANY BREAKS AT ALL."
She let out a loud, spittle-filled laugh, and pounded him on the back, nearly knocking him off the rock he was sitting on. "Papyrus, even royal-guardsmen have to eat, you knuckle-knead!" He threw a protective arm over his head at the last two words, making Sans chuckle.
Once he was certain that there were no noogies forthcoming, he glanced up at Undyne. His friend stood grinning at him. "What was wrong with your old traps, anyway? I thought they were pretty impressive."
Sans nodded in agreement, stuffing the rest of his sandwich in his mouth. He had to look away again, and that left looking Undyne straight in the face. It wasn't as hard as he'd imagined. "WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT, EVEN FOR PUZZLES CRAFTED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS HIMSELF."
"If you say so. Well, go on ahead and eat your lunch." She started to walk away, then called back over her shoulder, "Oh,Papyrus, are you still going to come over for your special one on one training later?"
He shot a panicked look at Sans, who oh so helpfully shrugged one shoulder and took a swig of ketchup just to bother him; he could tell by the mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
Cooking lessons… did he have time? There was so much at stake, and… "I WANT TO, BUT I GUESS IT DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH WE GET DONE… I CAN'T LEAVE HALF-FINISHED PUZZLES HERE, AND… AND…" the human was coming, and he had to be here. But how to tell Undyne? He couldn't? But how could he turn down her kind offer to train him without hurting her feelings?"
*we'll get it done, pap. and if anything out of the ordinary happens, i'll let you know straight off.
There was an unspoken of promise of sorts, in his brother's voice. Sans didn't like to make promises, especially if there was a chance he couldn't keep them. But what he was offering him was close enough. "VERY WELL. IF WE CAN FINISH IN TIME, I WILL LET YOU KNOW."
She slapped him on the back again. "Naw, just come on over if you can. It's not like I've got anything else going on."
With that she tossed her spear into the air and caught it, then put her helmet back on, and marched away, her heavy armor making each footstep loud and imposing. He sighed in admiration after she left. "I WONDER IF I'LL EVER BE THAT COOL?"
*are you kiddin'? you already are, paps.
"REALLY?" Wait… what was he doing? "SANS… I APPRECIATE THE OFFER, BUT…"
Sans quietly dropped the half-full ketchup bottle into the paper bag, and stood up, brushing the snow off of his shorts. *i already said that i'm with ya on this. if your plan is to appeal to this kid's need for friendship, you oughta be the first to talk to 'em. but you're pretty stressed out right now. undyne's lessons always make you feel better. i don't think you should skip it.
"CAN YOU PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON'T TRY TO STOP THE HUMAN ON YOUR OWN BEFORE YOU COME TO GET ME?"
Sans kept his back turned, in fact, he didn't move a muscle for a long moment. Finally he let out a sigh that. *yeah. i can promise that.
They both turned back to the puzzle, not looking at each other. He wished he could ask Sans to promise not to fight the human at all. But he knew, deep down, that his brother couldn't promise that anyway.
He was afraid that it had ruined their nice afternoon of building puzzles together, but when Sans turned to face him, he looked as cheerful and carefree as ever. *so has this entire puzzle been enhanced to involve x's and o's, or is that just this part?
It was… rather disturbing, actually, to find that his brother was so good at hiding something of this magnitude. He couldn't help but wonder if he really knew Sans as well as he'd always thought. "ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO HELP ME WITH MY OTHER PUZZLES, TOO?"
* i said i would, didn't i? 'course… 'help' is a subjective word. i might just supervise ya through most of it.
He rolled his eyes with a wry smile. "I MIGHT HAVE EXPECTED AS MUCH FROM SUCH A LAZYBONES."
Sans responded with his usual wink, as if it were a compliment. *hey, you aren't the only one with a reputation to think about.
"SANS, WHAT PART OF THIS SO CALLED 'REPUTATION' OF YOURS COULD BE IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO WORRY ABOUT?"
*hey, it's a little known fact, but there's one thing i'm good at.
He frowned. There were lots of things that Sans was good at. He worried, sometimes, that living in the shadow of the Great Papyrus was discouraging to his brother at times. Still, he sensed that his brother was trying to get him to play into his hands, and he wasn't about to disappoint him. "AND WHAT MIGHT THAT BE? IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY 'NAPPING' OR 'SLACKING OFF' I WILL AGREE WITH YOU FULL-HEARTEDLY."
*naw, bro. it's my skelepuns.
How many times had he heard THAT one? He turned to shoot his brother an annoyed look, and tried not to let it get to him that Sans was grinning just like he had the first time he'd worked that word into a conversation.
When Sans chuckled, he knew his frown was starting to slip around the edges.