"Papyrus, you've come a long way from when you used to pet the vegetables, but I really need you to smash harder, okay? Use a bone attack, and really SMASH them!"
"IF YOU SAY SO." It seemed to him that the more force he used, the less… anything, actually ended up in the pan. But if this was the way the masters made spaghetti, then this was the way he was going to have to try harder to understand.
He prepared a bone attack, and launched it, careful to angle it so as not to punch a hone in Undyne's wall… another hole, anyway. The kitchen walls seemed to be more patches than original wall. In fact, everything in Undyne's home seem to be more patches than original, except for her piano and sword.
She let out a gleeful laugh as the vegetables exploded on impact. "That's the way! Wow! There's nothing left! Way to go, Papyrus!"
He smiled, but he couldn't put much effort into it.
"Alright, spill it. What's wrong with you today?"
He really couldn't answer. He wasn't sure why he was so anxious. Sans had promised that he'd come get him the very minute the human showed up. He wasn't sure that was possible, given how slowly his brother moved, and how far Undyne's house was from Snowdin, but that was beside the point.
Undyne smiled down at the splattered floor. "Aw, come on, Papyrus. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I've never seen you so down… I didn't even know you had a sad mode."
More truth. That way, he wouldn't have to lie, and feel guilty about that. "HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WILL BE BEFORE I'M ALLOWED IN THE ROYAL GUARD?"
Guilt? Was that guilt in Undyne's expression? It was! She looked guilty. Which could only mean…
That she felt badly for not making him an official guard already! "NEVER MIND. I UNDERSTAND."
Undyne was so overcome with despair at this difficulty, there was a tiny little catch in her voice. "Y-you do?"
It nearly brought tears to his eyes, and these tears had nothing to do with his horrible walk through the Underground. "OF COURSE. THERE MUST BE VERY STRICT RULES YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW. AFTER ALL, YOU CAN'T LET JUST ANYONE BE A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD. AND YOU CANNOT SIMPLY MAKE AN EXCEPTION, AND MAKE ME A MEMBER JUST BECAUSE I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS. YOU HAVE TO PUT ME THROUGH THE SAME TESTING THAT YOU WOULD FOR ANYONE. I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TO DO ANYTHING LESS."
She was overcome with relief. "Wow, you, um, you sure can see right through me, can't you? Of course I can't give you special treatment."
He began to scrape the vegetable splatter into a bowl, and a horrible thought occurred to him. He turned around. "DOES THAT MEAN THAT YOU CAN'T TRAIN ME ANYMORE?"
"No! That… um, you already passed that part of the test. Yeah. You're tough as nails, Papyrus. I'm not just training you 'cause we're pals, either. You're actually one of the few monsters in the Underground that I can have a real spar with, without worrying about crushing! It's other boring stuff that's gonna take time. Who knows? You might even decide to give up being a royal guard at all, and become a famous master chef instead, or something…"
"THAT'S SILLY. WHOEVER SAID THAT I CANNOT BE BOTH?"
She sighed. Perhaps in wistful admiration? Maybe that was stretching it. He didn't understand the sigh. "Right. Let's get that spaghetti boiling."
He smiled as he walked home. The lesson had relaxed him considerably. He'd insisted that Undyne keep most of the spaghetti that they'd made. He just wanted a little container to compare to his other masterpieces.
All in all, that had gone well. Only a few things had caught on fire this time! He'd heroically put out the fires, and Undyne had thanked him, even though she looked almost disappointed at the lack of total destruction of her own home. Or maybe she'd just been sad that the lesson was over. He would have stayed longer than it took to clean up, but, he was concerned over the lack of news from Sans.
He tried not to think about it as he headed back to the sentry station. He trusted his brother's promise, but… the words rang through his head again, "He fell ASLEEP in the middle of the battle!"
He was a terrible brother! How could he have left Sans alone for so long? The excitement of being a royal guard had never been enough to keep his brother awake, and Sans would be exhausted after helping him finish all those puzzles on time! If the human came through, and found him asleep…
He broke into a run, and didn't stop until he saw the station, and, more importantly, his brother, propped up against it. *everything ok, bro?
Sans was… awake? That was one of the strangest things to happen since the human sent him back.
The concern in his brother's eyes morphed as he walked closer, scrutinizing him.
*what?
"WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH SANS?"
He broke into a relieved chuckle. *c'mon, paps, give me a little credit. i promised ya i'd watch out for a potentially dangerous human that should have been here hours ago. I wasn't gonna let you down.
He supposed that the circumstances were a bit different, and he felt badly for saying anything, because Sans actually looked a little hurt. "OH. RIGHT. OF COURSE. IT'S JUST… IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY, AND I WAS STARTING TO FEEL LIKE TAKING A NAP, MYSELF AND…"
*and i've got a bad track record. don't sweat it, pap.
"SO… WHAT DO WE DO NOW? I MEAN, NORMALLY, THE NIGHT GUARDS TAKE OVER AT THEIR STATIONS, BUT TONIGHT…"
*i was thinking about that. i don't remember any dreams about the kid making an appearance at night, but it's your call.
"I CAN'T RISK, IT. SANS. WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED? BESIDES, I FEEL MUCH MORE AWAKE AFTER RUNNING HERE. YOU GO ON HOME, AND TAKE ONE OF YOUR ALL NIGHT NAPS. YOU'VE EARNED IT, BROTHER."
Sans's smile softened around the eyes, but he didn't move. *thanks. but if you're gonna stick it out, i'll keep ya company. can't guarantee i'll last all night, but at least i could spot ya, or somethin'.
He felt like he should insist that Sans had done enough, but he didn't want to hurt his feelings again. Besides, standing watch all night alone in the woods that would be darkening into the Underground's night mode soon, didn't sound all that pleasant. "IF YOU'RE SURE… I'D APPRECIATE THE COMPANY. EVEN IF YOU ARE ASLEEP."
*then have a seat. somethin' tells me this is gonna be a long, uneventful night.
"WHY?"
*don't know. 's just a feeling. something's wrong. i'm starting to think that the human did more than just send ya back to 'reset'.
They fell silent, thinking about it. At least, he was thinking about it. In only a short hour and a half, Sans's head drooped to the side, breathing heavy.
No human. And he'd have to face the impossible task of waking his brother if he wanted to talk. Oh well. He decided to let Sans sleep.
In fact, a nap didn't sound like such a bad idea, except that he was the only thing standing in between the entire Underground and a human that might want to go on another, or, the same killing spree as before.
His eyes were starting to droop when something heavy clunked against him, startling him back to full sentry mode even though it was just Sans. He put his arm around his brother, and tried not to let the comfort of his presence lull him into a false sense of security, but the steady breathing of the skeleton leaned up against him was like downing a glass of warm milk before having Fluffy Bunny read to him. He only closed his eyes for a second…
But when he opened them again, it was morning. "NYEH!" He leapt to his feet, and behind him, Sans toppled face first into the snow.
*whatzit?! papyrus? He rubbed his face, calming down when he saw the quite scene in front of him. *guess i dozed off. sorry, bro.
His brother was acting like he'd caught him sleeping on the job on a normal day. "SANS! I FELL ASLEEP, TOO! THE HUMAN COULD HAVE WALKED RIGHT PAST US, OR…" Or not walked right past them. Sans had trusted him not to fall asleep, and he…"
*whoa, easy, bro. calm down, kay? look. no footprints or nothin'. the human hasn't been here. it's fine.
"IT'S NOT FINE. WHERE COULD THE HUMAN BE?"
*don't know. but i've got a thing i can check. wait here a sec, k?
"WHAT THING?" He tried to follow Sans, but his brother was somehow already out of sight. He came back in a few minutes. "I HATE THOSE SHORTCUTS OF YOURS."
*no humans in the underground. not yet, anyway. i've got a reliable source. which pretty much confirms it.
"WHAT?"
*something's wrong. you said you're the one who reset this time, right?
"YES?"
*so what if the human can't?