Wowie! Why hadn't he come to Hotland before now? So far he'd helped Frisk, cheered up Sans, and met Mettaton, live on his show!
He could have sworn that he heard Sans talking in a threatening voice, but when he turned to check, they both grinned happily at him.
He decided to let them be. Sans usually gave good advice… and he was sure he could counteract the 'take a break' bad influence later if need be.
Another monster waved in their direction. What was it about Sans, anyway? A lot of monsters seemed to recognize him. It was like they were walking through Grillby's, or something. Sans didn't even have to wear cool clothes, or be one of the royal guards.
It would be nice to be able to pinpoint exactly which quality people were so drawn to. He'd asked Undyne about it once, but she hadn't been able to help because she didn't understand it, either. She'd suggested trying to try to look at him through a stranger's eyes, but it was nearly impossible to try to imagine Sans not being his brother. Besides, when you removed the laziness, and the bad puns, and the boring science stuff, than what else was there about Sans that made him Sans? It wasn't like the other people got read to. He'd never heard Sans say that anyone else was cool in his entire life!
He didn't have time to ponder it further, because Frisk was leading them through some almost complicated looking puzzles. Dr. Alphys was trying to help, even though the phone almost seemed to distract Frisk more than anything.
He didn't have time to offer much of his expert advice, either, because in between phone calls, Frisk powered through the puzzles like they were the one that designed them.
*whatdaya think of hotland, bro?
Before he could answer, a monster hurried up. "Hey, Sans! Where've you been? I missed lunch because of you yesterday, and you didn't make it to the resort."
His… that's right. Sans had that comedy act. How could he have forgotten? He'd never made it to an actual show, and Sans had told him that it was fine because he practiced all his material on him anyway, but it had totally slipped his mind that Sans had missed his act to stand sentry watch with him last night.
*heh, guess that makes me a 'no show', huh?
It took the monster a second to realize what had just happened. When he did, he made a visible effort not to roll his eyes that only made Sans grin harder. "So you heading for your stand or not?"
*change of schedule for today. we'll probably swing by there, but i'm not gonna open up or anything.
"Alright. I'll go wait there then… just in case." The monster hurried off ahead of them.
He'd intended to bring up the missed show before anything else, but that last bit… "SANS… WHAT WAS HE TALKING ABOUT? DID HE JUST CALL YOUR SENTRY STATION A STAND? YOU SHOULD HAVE CORRECTED HIM."
Sans pretended to clear his throat, but he was still grinning like there was a hidden humor in the air. *honest mistake, bro. don't worry about it.
"I SUPPOSE… SANS?"
*sup?
"I'M SORRY THAT YOU MISSED YOUR SHOW LAST NIGHT. AND MORE SORRY THAT I FORGOT ABOUT IT UNTIL A STRANGER REMINDED ME."
The humor fled from his brother's eyes. *don't beat yourself up about it, pap. i completely forgot about until just now, too. it wasn't like it was important or anything.
He tapped his gloves together. "ARE YOU SURE IT WASN'T IMPORTANT TO YOU?"
The grin was back, full force. *bro, i am a comedy act. don't need a show for that, right? don't worry about it.
If Sans was lying, he was doing a REALLY good job, but he didn't think his brother was trying to hide any real sense of disappointment. He didn't really understand… if he'd had an opportunity like that, even to stand around making terrible jokes, he would have been disappointed to miss out on it. But Sans didn't share his desire for fame and recognition.
*really, paps. i wouldn't have bailed on you last night for anything, and that routine was nothin'.
"BUT, PEOPLE WANTED TO SEE IT."
He shrugged, like it didn't matter. *eh, i'm sure nobody really wanted to sit around and listen to my jokes. besides, i didn't miss out on preforming for my favorite audience.
He hadn't? "REALLY? WELL AT LEAST… WAIT… WHO'S THAT?"
*'s you, bro.
"I DON'T COUNT!"
Sans shrugged. *sure you do. He looked like he was going to add something, but thought better of it. Sans always knew when to push a point. Right now, he just needed to make sure his brother wasn't hiding any dreams of fame; not a reminder that Sans would always be his biggest fan.
He knew Sans. Didn't he? Why couldn't he just let this go? Why the doubt? Sure, he'd learned a few, unsettling things but… 'He fell ASLEEP in the middle of the battle!'
He winced, blocking the words out. That battle… watching Sans make a genuine effort to help, thinking about what had happened… he'd been paying more attention to Sans than he could remember doing for a long time, and it was forcing him to acknowledge that some of the things he knew about his brother weren't as exact as he once prided himself on. How had the resets taken their toll on them all?
He would have asked Sans, then and there if he could remember how things had been, really, before the resets, but the room they were walking into was pitch black.
Dr. Alphys was quick to get the lights on. "Oh no!"
"OHHHH YES! WELCOME BACK, BEAUTIES, TO THE UNDERGROUND'S PREMIER COOKING SHOW, COOKING WITH A KILLER ROBOT!"
They were back on Mettaton's show… his cooking show, no less! And he just happened to be a master chef! It was certainly a good thing he hadn't skipped his cooking lesson yesterday! He glanced at Sans, barely able to contain his excitement. His brother just grinned at him.
"NOW WE HAD A PROGRAM SET IN CASE WE EVER GOT A HUMAN GUEST STAR, BUT TODAY IS TODAY… AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, DARLINGS! TODAY IS THE DAY WE MAKE…"
"A NEW METTATON BRAND FOOD TO BE FEATURED IN YOUR RESTAURANT!"
"WELL, IT LOOKS AS IF OUR ATTENTIVE TRIVIA MASTER HAS RETURNED FOR ANOTHER SHOW."
"I'M A MASTER CHEF AS WELL, METTATON! I NEVER MISS AN EPISODE!"
"WELL IN THAT CASE, DARLING… I'LL LET YOU PICK THE MENU ITEM OF THE MONTH."
There was really only one answer… he couldn't wait to see how grateful the Underground would be. "SPAGHETTI!"
He caught the look of dismay Frisk gave Sans out of the corner of his eye, but it was so fast, he must have been mistaken.
"WELL COME RIGHT UP HERE, AND LET'S GET STARTED, DARLING! AND LET'S NOT FORGET OUR LOVELY ASSISTANT!"
Confetti fell on Frisk's head, messing up the kitchen a bit, but it vanished as if by magic.
Sans shook his head with a grin as he propped himself up against the wall, just off camera.
"WELL, DARLING? WHERE DO WE START?"
"FRISK, WOULD YOU HELP ME FIND THE RIGHT INGREDIENTS FOR THE SAUCE?"
Frisk nodded, and scurried to the fridge.
"YOU SEE, THE PROPER WAY TO BEGIN IS TO SMASH THE VEGETABLES."
"SMASH THEM, YOU SAY? HOW INTERESTING… IS IT VIOLENT?"
"OH YES. IT CAN BE QUITE VIOLENT. WE HAVE TO SMASH IT LIKE WE MEAN IT, AS… MY TEACHER SAYS." Oops, he'd remembered just in time that his lessons were a secret! As much as he'd like to give Undyne credit, he'd have to be careful.
"FASCINATING, DARLING! AND JUST HOW DO WE GO ABOUT THIS?"
He smiled at Frisk as the human raced back, arms full of the right ingredients. "THANK YOU, FRISK! NOW THEN, WE START LIKE THIS!" He smashed his fist into the pile of vegetables, splattering them everywhere.
Mettaton was perfectly still for a second. "I LOVE YOUR STYLE, DARLING!"
During the next few minutes, he and Mettaton smashed every single vegetable in the kitchen area. The robot was content to use his hands at first, but things escalated quickly when Mettaton pulled a chainsaw out from under the cupboard, starting it up, and going after pieces of vegetables with a vengeance. It was a rather huge mess… everything was splattered… the counters, the floor, the fridge, Sans, Frisk, Mettaton, himself, the ceiling….
"WHAT FUN! NOW WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?"
He struck a pose. "NEXT, WE SHALL REQUIRE, A BOX OF SPAGHETTI!"
Frisk ran to get one, and came back, slamming into a pot. "Geeettttttt…" The human broke off mid comment, and gave Sans a horrified look, but his brother just looked a little confused.
"YES! SLAM IT IN THERE! WE NEED MORE INGREDIENTS!"
"UM, JUST WATER, ACTUALLY…"
But it was too late. Mettaton began grabbing everything in reach to slam into the pot, and it wasn't long before Frisk was helping again, having a great time. It was Mettaton's show, anyway, so he joined in, even though there was no way any recipe for spaghetti called for a carton of eggs, or milk, or… was that a can of dog food? As he turned around to make certain that his brother hadn't been crammed into the pot, there was a horrible, metallic grinding sound. He spun around in time to watch a large portion of the kitchen sink sail overhead, and land in the pot, jarring several other ingredients out.
Frisk was laughing too hard to help, at this point, and he decided that Mettaton's enthusiasm for the project at hand outweighed the fact that he wasn't really getting the point.
When the pot was crammed full, Mettaton turned to him, awaiting further instructions, which was way cool! He tried to sound as humble as he could as he showed off his mastery of the culinary arts. "NOW WE STIR, LIKE THIS!"
He summoned a bone attack, and rammed it forcefully into the ingredients in the pot, then stepped aside to give Frisk and Mettaton a turn.
The star of the Underground applauded, before sending an attack of his own. "THIS WILL STIR THINGS UP!"
Frisk pushed a stool over, and climbed onto it, then began to use a mixing spoon to stir.
"THAT'S IT, FRISK! STIR HARDER!"
"HARDER, BEAUTIFUL! STIR IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT! WAIT, WAIT… LET ME HANDLE THIS!" This time, Mettaton pulled out a jackhammer. Odd cooking utensils, but he was sure Undyne would approve. Maybe not… since the jackhammer didn't do nearly as much damage to the pot as one of her spear attacks.
"AND WE NEED MORE HEAT, TOO!"
"I'VE GOT JUST THE THING, DARLING!"
Undyne would love this! He wished she could be here, though, she probably didn't care about being on Mettaton's show much more than Sans did. He glanced over at his brother, thinking about asking him to join in, but Sans was still leaned contentedly against the wall, sauce splattered on his face, a stray projectile a few feet from his head, just enjoying the show. It was doubtful that he could look much happier.
"Um, Mettaton… that might be a little too much… no!"
"OHHHHH YES!"
He turned as Mettaton cranked up the heat with a flourish, setting off some hidden trap that might have been intended for them at some point. Then he pulled a flamethrower from one of the empty looking cupboards, and aimed it directly at the pot. The stove top burst into flames, and the lights flickered out as the sprinkler system activated.
An umbrella deployed to protect Mettaton from the sprinkler, and not long after, the lights came back on.
What was left of the pot of 'spaghetti' looked more like one of the earlier combinations he and Undyne had put together, in that, it didn't really resemble spaghetti. That was to be expected, of course, seeing how it was Mettaton's first time making the dish, and only Frisk's second.
He considered that he might have gotten a little carried away himself, as half of the stove-top fell in, leaving the now molten pot at an odd angle.
The rest of the kitchen was in a similar state, but it didn't bother any of his companions, so he ignored it.
"WONDERFUL! YOU KNOW, BEAUTIFUL, I'M SUPPOSED TO TRY TO DESTROY YOU NOW, BUT AFTER THAT, I JUST CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO IT. CIAO, DARLINGS!"
Mettaton wheeled off set, waving until the cameras deactivated.
He stooped down to hug the human, and Frisk returned it enthusiastically. "YOU SEE, HUMAN? I KNEW THAT MAKING SPAGHETTI WOULD HELP METTATON TO SEE WHAT A GOOD FRIEND YOU ARE."
Frisk hugged him tighter. "Thank you, Papyrus. I'll bet this was his best show ever. And I think you were an even bigger star than him today."
He felt himself blush. "WOWIE… I'LL HAVE TO BE CAREFUL IF WE END UP ON ANOTHER SHOW. I DON'T WANT TO STEP ON ANY TOES."
Sans had joined them at his usual, lazy pace. *don't you mean you don't want to step on any 'wheels', bro?
He rolled his eyes as he whisked out a clean napkin to wipe the splatter from Frisk's face, then his own. As Frisk skipped off, he shook his head at his brother. "COME HERE."
He wiped the splatter from Sans's grinning face, wondering if his brother realized how unsettling the red in the corner of his mouth was.
That thought alone was enough to remind him of his concerns. He closed his eyes with a sigh.
*papyrus?
When he opened his eyes again, the amusement in his brother's eyes had been replaced by concern. *what's the matter? i thought everything was going good.
"IT'S ALL GOING VERY WELL. I'M IMPRESSED WITH THE HUMAN'S BEHAVIOR, AND THE OTHER MONSTERS HAVEN'T GIVEN US MUCH PROBLEM…"
*but it's not that, is it? c'mon. what's bugging ya? you've been looking at me funny since yesterday.
Drat! He hadn't been stealthy enough. How was he to know Sans wouldn't be too lazy to notice? But perhaps it was silly to ignore the issue. The worst thing that could happen would be for Sans to lie to him outright. "IT'S JUST… I NEVER REALIZED… THE THING IS… WE'RE BROTHERS."
*yep.
He frowned. "THAT'S MY POINT. IT'S HOW I'VE ALWAYS FELT ABOUT IT." He glanced over Sans's head to make sure that Frisk hadn't gone on with out them. The human was waiting politely out of hearing range. "BUT… I DON'T FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU ANYMORE. NOT REALLY."
Sans sighed. *that's what's had you looking so gloomy?
He nodded. "YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVEN'T ALWAYS HAD YOUR SECRETS, AND THE THINGS I FOUND TOO BORING TO TALK ABOUT, BUT… I USED TO THINK THAT…" he trailed off with a sad shrug.
Sans put his hand on his shoulder. *papyrus, nobody knows me better than you, alright? look at me. it's me, ok? do i keep stuff secret sometimes, mostly because i'm planning a prank? sure. but you know that. 'cause you know the important stuff. you know me.
"REALLY?"
*c'mon, papyrus…
He gave a sigh of relief, and laughed to himself over his own silliness. Sans was absolutely right. Not even brothers as close as them knew EVERYTHING about each-other all the time, only the important stuff. He pulled Sans closer to hug him. Being a little hard to read sometimes was just another one of the things that made him Sans. And being able to see through almost all of that was just one of the things that made him The Great Papyrus.
Sans chuckled, and patted him on the shoulder. *c'mon. you're doing great.
He beamed in agreement as they started off through Hotland once again.
A/N: Sorry for how long it took me to update this one. It took forever to get the chapter to a point where I felt like I could post it. Agent B Tiger helped me out with the cooking show, and then helped me edit it, so thanks again for that!
Thanks for the review, 'I guest as much', I still like your title!
And thanks again to each and every person who's made it this far!