The surface was more wonderful than he'd ever have imagined. Everyone was so happy, and that big glowing ball was so warm… "HEY, SANS… WHAT'S THAT GIANT BALL?"
Sans chuckled, grinning a totally content grin. *we call that "the sun", my friend.
"THAT'S THE SUN!? WOWIE!"
He couldn't believe he was finally meeting the sun. The feeling was more… numb, than he would have imagined.
Nyeh heh heh… he'd been through a lot. As much as he wanted to go exploring their enormous new world… he wouldn't be opposed to heading back to their Snowdin house for a nap, either.
Sans wouldn't object to the idea, he was sure.
Yeah… that sounded nice.
A nap.
Sans turned to grin up at him, and his eyes clouded over in worry. *bro? you feelin' okay?
He waved it off. "OF COURSE. BETTER THAN EVER, SANS… JUST… VERY, VERY… TIRED…"
*paps?
Tired enough to sit down right now, even. Or, drop down. Yes, that was much better.
*papyrus?!
He just needed to close his eyes for a second. What was Sans getting all agitated about? Wowie… if this was how Sans felt every time he tried to take a nap, he might be owed an apology, or two… possibly more.
His head was throbbing. It helped a little when Sans's arm slipped underneath it.
Worried voices crowed around him. He wished they'd just let him go to sleep. His mind couldn't even discern most of the voices.
"What's wrong with him?"
"Aw he's just tired out. He just saved the entire underground, after all."
*paps…
"O-oh n-no! N-no no n-no no no!"
*papyrus! look at me!
"I'M… TRYING. DON'T WORRY… I'M FINE?" Was he? They all sounded so concerned.
*c-come on, bro. just try a little harder, okay?
A tear splattered on his face… Sans was the only one close enough to be crying on him. No… this had to stop. Sans wasn't allowed to be anything but happy, ever again. He squinted his eyes open and tried to wipe the tears away. He ended up just sort of punching his brother in the face. "Sorry."
Sans clutched him tighter. *don't you do it! not now. hold on, papyrus.
He understood now. He was falling down. That was why he'd been feeling a little funny. The determination was too much for him. It had only ever been a matter of time. "IT'S ALRIGHT. I STILL WANT THIS ENDING. THIS IS A GOOD ENDING."
*no! don't talk like that! we're gonna…
"SANS, STOP."
A tear slid down Sans's face as he obeyed. "YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. SO THIS, IS FINE. JUST… KEEP BEING YOU, OKAY?"
*i'm not me without you. please…
He found the strength to hug Sans to him, one last time. "OF COURSE YOU ARE. YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. I PROMISE."
Sans clung to him, shuddering. Their friends were watching them, with helpless looks on their faces. He'd upset them. He felt bad about that. But they were alive.
They were safe.
They would be happy again.
That was all he cared about…
He felt the world slipping away, more and more, out of his grasp.
He's forgotten to tell Sans how proud he was of him! But… surely he knew… it would be fine…
…
sans's pov
…
*papyrus?! paps! c'mon, NO! please!
He broke down, sobbing into his brother's shoulder. This wasn't tired… this was falling down.
The kid sounded about as torn up about this as he felt. "We can save him, right? He's not turning to dust? Right?!"
Somewhere behind him Alphys started to explain what falling down meant to a monster. He blocked it out, but it didn't matter. He already knew.
So much for happy endings. So much for seconds chances, and justice.
It wasn't FAIR. Papyrus, more than any of them, deserved to be the one walking out of this unharmed. Five minutes ago, he'd been rejoicing that the reset button was gone.
Right now, he'd give anything for one more. Just ONE more. He wasn't as good at things as Paps, but there had to be a way to trade places with him, here. He didn't CARE about the surface. The one and only requirement for his personal happy ending was his bro being alive and happy. He didn't want to live in any other world.
There had to be something they could do… but he knew there wasn't.
*papyrus… please…
Just be tired. Just be sleeping. Just WAKE UP.
"B-but… this has n-never h-happened, be-before… s-so… m-maybe we could t-try… something? W-we should t-take him t-to the l-lab…"
No experiments. But the lab had equipment. Maybe they could tweak the DT extractor or something. Remove what was killing him. Wake him up…
He swiped his sleeve across his eyes. *i'll take him. meet us there.
"B-but…"
He teleported them to the lab. Managed to get him into a bed. Managed not to shake him, and scream at him to wake up.
Tests… that's what he needed. Maybe it was something stupid. Maybe he was just jumping to the worst possible conclusion again…
Maybe he'd always been right, no matter how wrong he'd hoped he was.
But the scans didn't leave room for doubt. There were still traces of determination in his body. It was melting him from the inside out. Human determination had still found a way to get to them in the end. *papyrus? please… if you can somehow hear me… fight this. you're stronger than determination. ya proved that, yeah? i… i need ya, bro. you can't ask me ta be happy without you… that's not fair. we got plans, remember? for the surface. you and me, both. i… i know you're tired. and i know i don't got any right ta ask this of ya… but please… beat this. for the kid. and for undyne, and for all your new fans. and for me. 'cause i'm a mess without, ya, right? i.. i can't e-even pick up o-one lousy s-sock.
He broke down, crying again. This wasn't helping. What was he trying to do? Fill Papyrus with regret in his last few moments of consciousness? If his brother was going to dust, did he really want to make him feel like he'd somehow, in any way, failed any of them?
*s-sorry, bro. i just… i love ya, okay? y-you understand that. i-i'm not gonna give up, so, so just don't either, okay? you did r-really great already, but j-just one more miracle, and i won't ever be lazy again… i promise.
"Sa-ans…" The voice was too quiet, except for the fact that he shouldn't have been speaking at all. *papyrus!?
His bro coughed a few times. "Don't."
Papyrus's voice was so weak… he just didn't have the strength for his normal volume any more. *d-don't what, paps?
"Don't change. Not too much, okay?"
*paps…
"Shhh… I know. I wasn't really expecting this, either. But this is so much better than it could have been."
*how could it possibly get any worse?!
He coughed on a chuckle. "Sans! I think you're forgetting that pretty much all of us died last time. And that we stopped the whole world from being reset. This is fine. I can live with this."
*… n-not cool, bro.
"Right… well, I'm fine with it. And you'll see… I might not have meant to make that 'live with it' pun… but you'll be chuckling about that for YEARS."
No he wouldn't. After their last few precious moments were expired, he wasn't ever going to be able to laugh again. But Papyrus had decided he didn't want him to change, so it was time to suck it up, and pretend to be fine again.
"N-no. Don't do that, either."
*what?
"Hide what you're feeling. I know what that looks like now… even if it's almost too late."
His eyes were drooping shut. They were running out of time. *papyrus, just…
Just rest? Just keep his strength? When a monster fell down, that was IT. You didn't come back from that, unless you got blended together with a bunch of other consciousnesses in a goop. And he felt sick to his non-existent stomach for considering that option.
Pap's eyes flew back open. "OH! SANS!"
*shhh… i can hear ya. don't strain yourself.
His voice dropped back down a couple octaves as he relaxed, the strength still not there. "Alright. But, I wanted to tell you before. I'm really, really proud of you. I was afraid I missed my chance."
He reached out to grip Papyrus's hand in both of his.
*… paps…
"For everything. E-even the bad timelines… you… you did what you felt you had to. And you didn't give up. So… so I know you have it in you. If you can keep going through THAT, and still fight as hard as you did… still keep giving the human a chance to make the decisions to turn back, until the last ounce of your strength is used up…"
He'd almost used up the last ounce of his own strength to say this. "Then losing me this time should be easy, in comparison."
*there were resets.
He should be the one comforting his brother. Not derailing his attempts to comfort him. But he didn't WANT to be okay with this. Ever.
"Maybe so. But don't pretend you knew the human would always reset."
*i just… i had that last little bit of hope, ya know?
"Well that's easy! We'll see eachother again, brother. After you've lived a long… happy… life… I know… I know it will not have me in it… but maybe… maybe I'll be able to look down, and see it? I hope so. Maybe that thought will help?"
*…. yeah. sure, bro.
Papyrus's chuckle was so weak. "I don't expect it to help right now, Sans. Just… try, okay? I know it's not fair to ask, what with me not being able to do what you want, but…"
*papyrus, you can ask me anything.
"That smile you had, walking onto the surface. Try to get that back, okay? For me?"
*heh… sure. i'll try. every… every time i'm… reminding everyone of how… the great papyrus… s-saved everyone…
Pap's eyes were closed again. "Sans… that's a happy story. Don't cry…"
He pulled him close, but his normal strength just wasn't there. "I remember when the human killed me. All I wanted was to know you were okay… and to have made some sort of difference. S-so you see? I know it could be much worse… Sans…"
*bro?
He was trying not to cry, but he couldn't help it.
Papyrus didn't so much as move again, and he hadn't collected himself by the time Undyne rushed in with Alphys tucked under her arm. "Sorry that took so long. Had to bypass all the elevators."
"H-how is h-he?"
They could see for themselves. But he pulled back and wiped his sleeve across his face anyway. *'s not good. heh…
Undyne looked like she wanted to punch him until he felt his face pinch up again. She made a dismayed noise in the back of her throat, and bent over to hug him. "Hey… we're gonna beat this. Don't you fall apart on us, now."
Fall apart… great choice of words there. But she was trying, and some distant part of his appreciated the effort. 'Sides, she was right. He had to keep it together.
*alph, it's the exposure to the determination. can we… i don't know, stabilize him somehow? stop him from f-falling…
He couldn't even say it.
Alphys paled considerable, and started shaking. "It's j-just t-too r-risky!"
*alphys… what've we got to lose?
"I c-can't. Y-you know what th-that would d-do to him."
Unfortunately, he did. And not even the part of him desperate to try ANYTHING to keep Papyrus with him was willing to trap him as some sort of eternal blob, tangled together in dozens of other minds.
Undyne sat by Papyrus as he hovered in between coming over to check for changes, and helping Alph sort through the information they had.
The door opened after a while, and Toriel and the kid walked in. Frisk was crying, and came running to hug him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
*…
*paps would tell ya it isn't your fault.
But he couldn't. Not now at least. He'd meant the words comfortingly, and they were the most comforting ones he could offer right now, but the kid started sobbing.
Toriel was checking to see if she could try healing magic, but there was nothing wrong with Pap's hp. His soul was just… melting.
He sighed, and hugged the kid back.
Toriel came over, and stooped down to hug both of them. "How are you doing?"
*… about as well as can be expected.
She patted his shoulder, while Frisk sniffed. "It's not fair. I should be the one paying for what I did. Not Papyrus."
He sighed. *…if… if anyone had ta pay… he'd have wanted it to be him. you… you can't blame yourself for picking him, kid. no one else coulda gotten us this far.
A tear ran down his cheek, and he didn't bother wiping this one away.
There was a warning beep from the equipment monitoring Papyrus's soul. *what's that?
Alphys started to wring her hands again. "H-he's still h-hanging on b-but… n-not by m-much. It w-wont be m-much longer."
Frisk choked on a sob. "Isn't there anything we can do?"
He walked over to Papyrus's side again. *heh… if you've got any ideas kiddo, i'd love to hear 'em. because we don't have a lot of options, or time to try 'em in.
Frisk followed. "Papyrus? I didn't know this would happen. I'm sorry. But please… stay determined!"
Was it his imagination, or had Papyrus's face twitched in response? At this point, he was probably just desperate enough to imagine it.
A/N: That went from being SO happy to so sad, so quickly. But I honestly could not pull this story in another direction. This wasn't even what I originally intended. Sorry guys.
ThePunnySkeleton: Yes, he was actually. I think you might have missed chapter 29? Either way, thanks for your continued support!
I guest as much: Yep, haha, it has a bit more punch left in it. Thanks so much!
Thanks to everyone who's read this, as usually, and extra especial thanks to everyone who's left a review, because last chapter got me over the 100 review milestone! =') Thanks so much you guys! It means SO much to me!
I won't leave this hanging like this long! I prom... I'm really gonna try hard! ; )