Epilogue : The Voices That Were Never Let Out
There is something I wanted.
After years of relishing my time in this world, needless to say I have been living a normal life.
A normal person, who does normal things in a normal world.
Things explicably stayed the way they are. One day after the other.
But in being a normal person...
There is something I wanted.
Everything I see in the world, ends up being the same at some point. My eyes probably wouldn't show it to others, but after times passed, I just get bored with anything I do.
But all of that finally dissipates, the moment I laid my eyes on someone.
Someone who is unlike any other.
Someone who is entirely different.
Someone who refuses to flow with the norms of the world.
…
There is someone I wanted.
At first, I settled in being a spectator. Like a viewer who is eager to watch their favourite show on the television.
Given the chance, I would always watch into his actions.
How he does it? Why did he do it?
And somehow, the consequences of his actions was able to inexplicably bother me.
The car accident. Sagami Minami's problem. The fake confession. The school collaboration.
At a certain extent, I just had enough. Being a spectator in the side lines won't change anything.
Instead of being an observer of his, I decided to become an acquaintance. Much to his disapproval.
There exists no strong base to my actions. But for some reason, I wanted to know more of him.
And I wanted the boy to know more of me.
There is someone I wanted.
It all started slow. As if a spark in a bonfire slowly gaining its reign with the woods.
As the moments I spent with him increases in time, I gradually enjoyed and become attached to this rare diamond of a man.
His entertaining demeanour. His amusing thoughts. His kind gestures.
It became something I look forward to for the day whenever we would meet.
And saying the times I spent with him as enjoyable is an understatement.
Whenever we conversed, I've always felt the freedom to share my true self. True personalities.
He never had any expectations on people, since he had already given up on them in the first place. So the faults of others are things he couldn't care less about.
Knowing this, I slowly grew an affinity to the man. Because with him, I felt different.
With him, I felt real.
…
There is someone I needed.
There come the times when I decided to become more assertive. No, I had to.
Physical touches, sensual clothes, all that was thrown to him as a sign of affection.
But the more I look at it, it probably had just been to fulfil my own desire and infatuation.
Not to mention the moments I had to hold myself back from the urge of taking the next step.
When our shoulders touched. When our eyes meet silently. When our breaths collide to the small distance of our lips.
Did he have any idea of this? Of course not.
Only I am the wiser. And it was awfully, stupidly hard.
There is someone I needed.
There come the times when I feel slightly lost whenever we didn't have the chance to meet.
It was childish, yes. But the feeling was so confusing that I had to slap myself from both sides to get a grip of myself.
Is this what people call missing someone so much they could die?
Upon time, the boy had just unexpectedly governed the majority of my thoughts.
…
Like right now.
…
I wonder if he's already asleep.
Hehe. Knowing him, the guy might just get himself endorsed to another light novel of his.
...
Wouldn't be wrong to just text him now right...?
Is it okay? I might end up disturbing him. But he probably would've been used to it by now.
I guess there would be no harm done.
It's just going to be short. But I hope the message would come across his stupid, egotistical mind. Serves to satisfy my emotional desire too after not meeting him for quite long.
Type… and sent.
…
Hikigaya Hachiman.
I don't care if it takes an eternity.
As long as you're here with me.
Together we'll thrive and struggle to achieve what we both yearn for.
...
Something genuine.
...
..
.
And that is why social camps should not have ever been a thi-
Interrupting my current thoughts, a ring from my communication device was heard. A grumble was produced from my irritated self as I turned to my desk from my already sleeping position.
...
I was just going to ignore it, but the last time I did that it turned out to be Mom. And I don't want to see angry Mom.
So reluctantly, I dragged my body to the desk in retrieving the phone which I should've put beside my bed just now.
Making my way to the desk, another sound of a bell ring came from the phone.
And another.
Another.
I'm not even counting at this point.
It screamed a ridiculous amount of times until I impulsively back a step away before continuing forward seconds after.
Is my phone rigged? Thinking back, I've never even dropped it or anything.
Reaching the object, I carefully took hold of it and activate the screen. It was after I released a relieved sigh since there is no money I need to burn in fixing a phone.
I pressed the notifications indicating the messages received currently with a neutral expression.
You people are that bored? You know there's this thing called light novels and monologues you can dive into at these times right?
Each were different than the other, carrying their own manner and tone. But conclusively, they all carry the same message:
Good night and sweet dreams. See you later.
That's it. That is all it was. In fact, I'm too tired to even misunderstand right now.
With that, I answered with an equally simple message of mine. Putting their name in the recipients' tab, I typed:
Yeah, yeah. Goodnight. See ya.
After that, I simply threw the phone lightly on my bed and dive beside it. Body floundering for a second and I am back to my resting state.
Haaahhhh.
I am finally in peeeaaaaiiieces if this thing is going to continue!
Eyes were opened once again, annoyed to the bell ring from my phone once again.
Okay, this has got to be one of them. I'm not even going to look at the message. Say I'm tired. And I'm going to sleep. Just type that, Hachi-
...
..
.
WHAT?!
After minutes of waiting and holding on to the phone like an idiot, a notification comes in. And God knows how quickly I turned it on.
It's stupid honestly, how just in seeing his name pop up on screen could make my heart skip a beat.
...
Just seeing the reply makes me chuckle in amusement. In fact, everything he does is making me feel the day seem worth it.
Rolling left and right on the bed, I tried to calm myself from getting too worked up right before sleeping.
...
"See ya"... huh?
With those last words planted in my mind, I drifted into sleep and enter the realms of my dreams.
Conversation with My Bride
11:00 PM
My Bride : Hachiman! Are you sleeping yet?
Me : N-No, not yet, my lo- I mean, Totsuka. Still energetic as ever!
My Bride : Hm? Hachiman, is your phone broken? The message kind of made it sound like you're stuttering XD
Me : N-No, I'm not nervous or anything! Anyways, you need help for anything, T-Totsuka? I can come to your house if you want.
My Bride : Oh no, it's fine . I just wanted to say good night before I sleep.
Me : Yeah, o-of course. Yeah, got it!
My Bride : Hehe. You're kind of weird tonight, Hachiman.
My Bride : Not that I don't like it, though.
My Bride : I dont mean tht werdly thouh!
My Bride : Hachiman?
Me : Y-Yeah, I'm Hachiman!
My Bride :
My Bride : Anyways, good night! Sorry if I ended up bothering you.
Me : No, it's perfectly fine! You can bother me all night long.
Me : Good night, Totsuka. I-I guess I'll see you tomorrow?
My Bride : Hehe. Maybe you'll see me tonight...
My Bride : In your dreams ?
My Bride : It's a joke I've been waiting to try on at you XD! Was that a good one, Hachiman?
My Bride : Hachiman?
My Bride : Um, Hachiman?
Warning
This is long. Like, seriously long.
It's like another chapter, man! L-Like, what did I even ramble about down here?!
WOAH, WHAT THE HECK?!
...
It finally ended, huh?
I have no idea what to exactly write in an AN of a last chapter. Like, what is to say there. I honestly had half a mind to not write anything since I have no idea what to, but I guess things like this might be necessary.
So what I'm going to right so on are those I felt needed and wanted to say throughout the year of writing this.
First off, thank you. Writing (typing) these words isn't even enough to show how much gratitude I send to you guys who gave this fic a read from the start to the end. Despite the crazy amount of flaws it had like spelling errors, random sentences, cringy situations, inexplicable delays and so much more. Seeing how far this fic has gone with the amount of reviews I got, it's something I will never forget and definitely would be something I remember moving forward in writing.
Yes, folks. Unfortunately for you readers who strive in reading unchildish fanfictions, this will not be the last work you see from moi! Haha!
Although I couldn't give any confirmation that a new one would be coming sooner or later, since I'm now a university student and getting used to university life is something I need to put as priority.
But the storyline is out there. And oh how giddy my hands are to start writing it. It's one of those painful feelings when you have a story you wanted to write but publishing one at a time is a better idea. Damn painful, man!
There are some things I really wanted to say at the last AN of the stories I might write now and in the future, which I would say as The Call of Gratitude.
I have said this but I will say it again, I LOVE reading the reviews. It's that kind of satisfaction when you know that 8k words that were typed actually able to make others happy while simultaneously, me happy as well. You guys probably had no idea but my English writing took a rapid transformation from this. The face of my teacher have transplanted inside my head when she was like...
"Sam, I know your writing sucks. But copying from one you got from the internet is a whole new level." Oh, that misdirected compliment. Teacher, you Kuroko.
Oh, and I've been getting these reviews a lot. Those that want me to include girls that aren't mentioned in the first chapter.
I'm so sorry! It's something that I've planned from the start to keep the number of girls that way. I had the assumption this theme could get boring pretty quickly, both for you guys and me (since you could already see here, I'm quite struggling to write Kawasaki's). Who knows, maybe I'd make another one with them when the time comes.
...
The Call of Gratitude
Thank you.
For that person that gave me the recommendation to read TheRedGhillie's Oblivious to better my story.
For that person that told me not to break the 4th wall too much.
For that person that recommended I make a flashback story regarding their current relationship.
For that person that told me "could'nt" should've been "couldn't".
For that person that liked it being too long.
For that person who is a Malaysian.
For that person who is not Fanfic Critic.
For that person who told me about Hikigaya's mistake regarding his date with Isshiki, because that was definitely NOT intentional on my part. Gave a way to cover up the story too. Thanks, man.
For that person who complimented the chapter.
For that person who told me "eye bed" was supposed to be "eye bag".
For that person driving the YukiXHachi ship.
For that person who corrected the mistakes of the chapter.
For that person that was fine with my shifted writing style.
...
Thank you so much.
For you guys who read this, and more to those who reviewed.
Thank you so much for your attention.
From that cringey Chapter 1...
Till this equally cringey Chapter 11.
Until next time, guys.
Thank you.