1. SHATTER
"Haha! Midoriya, you really can't do anything, can you?"
Mockery.
"Hey, did you know? 'Izuku' can be read as 'Deku' too! And 'Deku' means someone that can't do anything!"
Ridicule.
"Haha! That suits him perfectly!"
Scorn. Scoff. Taunt. Tease. Insult.
Why?
He was just a little weaker and wimpier than most. He didn't have the self-confidence and courage his childhood friend had. He didn't have the strength of a powerful quirk -not yet, he wanted to believe. But it was clear as day that they were polar opposites.
Bakugou Katsuki, who was born with everything.
Midoriya Izuku, who was born with nothing.
But there was one thing they had in common. They both aspired to be heroes. Strong, great, and preferably, the best heroes. To be like All Might, the symbol of peace in this world.
One day, Midoriya had vowed, one day, I'll catch up to Kacchan! I'll become a hero as cool as him!
It was a pure and innocent, although one-sided, rivalry. Midoriya looked up to his childhood friend the same way he looked up too Might. They were both cool, with awesome quirks and a strong personality that left much impact. They were the fuel that burned his heart with the desire and dreams to be a hero. They were his aspirations.
But it all came crashing down on one Midoriya Izuku when he was given the news.
"You're Quirkless," said the doctor. He sugarcoated nothing towards the four-year-old boy, and remembering that moment made an odd piece of anger rise in Midoriya Inko's mind.
It's not that uncommon, actually. Izuku accessed the fact in his head. I mean, humans were once all Quirkless. There are, in fact, people in this quirk-filled world without quirks. They are just the minority.
Without a quirk, he was just Deku, a useless, no-good wimpy little good-for-nothing. A nerd. A dork. And definitely not hero-material. Four-year-old Deku could only conjure up such questions as he accepted the reality of the situation.
What about being a hero?
What about All Might?
What about your dreams?
Your resolve to be like Kacchan one day?
Flushed down the drain, they were.
Do not fret, for I am here!
As he watched that video again -that video he once loved with all his might; the video that once filled his head with love and dreams and hope and joy and awe and inspiration, the video that now served to hurt him with each second that passed by, the video that caused sharp aches in his chest as he hears All Might's voice declare his famous catchphrase- his tears wouldn't stop flowing.
"Hey, Mom, do you think I could be like that one day?" he asked. He wanted someone to tell him it was all fine. he wanted someone to just hold his confused four-year-old mind together. To tell him once again what he had always wished for. To tell him to never lose himself. But his Mother, tearing up, couldn't hold it in. She couldn't bear it anymore. She ran to her child, hugging him close, and bawled.
"I'm sorry,"
No,
"I'm sorry, Izuku..."
No, Mom,
"I'm sorry..."
That's not what I wanted you to say.
That day, he cried and cried, feeling himself break into pieces, his dreams shatter like glass, his childhood dissipate like bubbles and his heart get crushed in despair. What would have been the prime of his life would now haunt him as nightmares of his naivety, what was once his dream would become just what it sounded like-an illusion he only saw in his sleep.
I wanted you to tell me that I could become a hero too, Mom.
Even so, he did not stop admiring heroes. He wanted a way to be like them too. He wanted to be someone cool, someone depended on, someone people saw as useful and a trustworthy comrade. So he studied. He observed. He made countless notes. He became a nerd and a weird hero fanboy. Being quirkless himself, he was able to think out of the box, contrary to the quirk users.
He was able to figure out things and ways to use particular quirks that the users themselves hadn't thought of. He stockpiled on hero knowledge in the hopes of it being useful one day.
It was probably the one thing he could do. To survive in this world, he has to find a way to ease this pain that may never fade. Even if he was completely broken on the inside, time would mend such scars.
After all, he's quirkless. And quirkless people have to live like a quirkless person.
But deep inside, he cries out. Why did this happen to him of all people? He just wanted to be a hero. He just wanted a chance to stand up for himself. A chance to aspire and dream. Why him? Why him of all people?
Why did he now have to live with such a scar in his heart?
Why did he have to bear this torment from his childhood friend?
Why did you give him everything, but give me nothing?
"Quirkless nerds can't become heroes!"
Yeah, I know.
"Give up on U.A, kay?" the sickly sweet smile that meant everything but nice. Kacchan was a man Deku had always feared, and once it was clear that Deku could never catch up to him, the fear grew even more. Still, Deku tried his best to live with this fear.
"Y-You won't know until you try..." he tried speaking, but was met with a glare and a thick, hard punch to the face. Bakugou knew not the meaning of 'hold back'. And he wasn't going to try to understand the word anytime soon.
It's okay, he reminded himself. This pain would soon fade. I just need to bear it.
"You're just a nerd! Why the hell are you trying to stand on the same stage as me?" he yelled.
Deku stayed on the ground, cringing at the pain. It hurt. A lot. He had never been punched so hard before. It hurt and his head ached, his ears rang. His eyes were spinning and his mind became muddled from the impact. When he'd come focused, he registered, Kacchan crouching down by him, the smile on his face again.
"Hey, Deku, I know how you can get a quirk." he said, almost sounding happy before his face instantly twisted into a frown,
"Why don't you go jump off a building and pray you get one in your next life?"
And it finally hit him. Midoriya could curse himself for not realizing it sooner. Why didn't he think of this earlier? There had been such an easy way out this whole time. Something that could instantly end all this misery, all this suffering, all this agony.
He stood at the edge of the roof, leaning on the ledge and looking over it. It looks really scary from up here, he thought. But thinking of facing Bakugou Katsuki again tomorrow made all the unease in his mind quickly fade away.
For a reason he himself didn't know, he smiled.
He had laughed at how hopeless he was. Rabid cackling. He couldn't help but burst out in maniacal giggles and crack up in amusement. He broke out in guffaws, and snorted from laughing too much.
And then he cried. He wept. He lamented. For what? He no longer knew. He no longer wanted to know. He sniffed and wailed to the gods that cursed him, alone on the roof where no one could hear him.
"What was I thinking, believing I could be useful?" he spoke to himself. "It was obviously impossible." he told himself, "I'm Deku! I'm someone that can't do anything!"
His tears still covering his face, he began chuckling again. He finally realized how hopeless his dreams had been from the start. All Might? If anyone could be as strong as him in the first place, he wouldn't bee the greatest hero! What was his stupid self doing? I wanna be like all Might? You can't even be like Kacchan! You're weak! Useless! A freaking waste of space! You're worthless even as a human being!
What can an incompetent Quirkless like you even do?
Was this madness, perhaps? In fact, it was insanity. It was the final point of despair that this boy had feared to reach. It was the point where the last of his pieces broke into millions of invisible shards that can never be gathered again.
He had become a dysfunctional lunatic that had lost its mind.
And on that day, Midoriya Izuku took his final step.