"Come on! Come on! Time's a wastin'!" Sideswipe urged; gently nudging the three humans ahead of him.
"Okay! Okay! We're going!" Spike replied; trying to stay one step ahead of the nudging as the group paraded down the Ark's orange corridors.
"Yeah, what's the rush?" Carly asked.
But the Autobot didn't answer; only pushed them forward more. The spaceship's children were enjoying some down time together in the recreation room, when the red Lambo twin approached them, explaining that he had recently discovered something very cool, and insisted they come to his quarters to see it. What it was, he wouldn't say; perking their interest enough to follow him. Or rather, they walked down to his quarters, while he trailed behind. As they walked the halls, the 'Bot gradually became more and more impatient; giving them small pushes to pick up the pace. Whatever this surprise was, he sure seemed excited about it.
"Thing is", Kayla interjected as her cane made clean sweeps of the floor, "is that, I don't have eyes to see this thingamahoosit. Why am I here?"
The 'Bot smirked to himself, "Ohhh, you won't need eyes for this…"
A flash of suspicion ran through the musician's mind, but it quickly subsided when the quartet finally made it to the Lambo twin's abode. After an announcement of "here we are", the double doors swished open to reveal a pitch black room. The three humans remained in the hall; two of them staring in confusion; the third wondering what the hold up was. Both curious and puzzled, Spike turned to the mech, "Why are the lights off?"
Sides smiled and replied in a sincere tone, "It's part of what makes the surprise cool."
Carly started to take a few steps, when she turned to him and raised an eyebrow, "Aren't you coming in?"
"Well duh; it's my quarters", the 'Bot shrugged, "I'll be right behind ya'; ladies first."
The blonde stared back into the darkness before her, when the red head shoved her slightly, "Well, you heard the mech; come on."
With a final sigh, the threesome slowly trudged across the threshold. The doors swished closed behind them, and the group was plunged into darkness. Despite the lights not coming on, they never the less moved forward, figuring Sideswipe would be trailing behind any moment to show them the surprise.
Oh…there was a surprise all right…
Spike had been leading the way, when suddenly, something came into the path of his steps and coiled around his ankle. There was a yelp of panic, followed by the sounds of gears turning, and something squeaked overhead. Without any other warning, there was a fast rush of cold liquid, and the kids were instantly soaked to the marrow. Because of the inky blackness, they had no clue what the substance was, only that it smelled awful and was slimy to the touch. That was all the more info Carly needed to begin screaming, while the other two flailed their arms around, trying to find each other amidst the bedlam that seized them.
Suddenly, there was a flash of intense whiteness, causing the two teens who had their sight to panic even more. It wasn't until their eyes adjusted to the familiar metallic walls that they realized that the lights came on, so with these lights, they were able to see just what had hit them. All three humans were dripping and covered from head to toe with a mucky, stinky, brownish-black liquid. Spike looked to his feet to see a coil lying across the floor, then craned his head to see a large bucket rigged to a simple pulley system over the door. Carly, meanwhile, plucked a strange bump off her slimy arm, and rung out the substance on it, to reveal a soft, white object. It was this that made them finally fathom what had occurred.
Spike, Carly, and Kayla had been tarred and feathered.
The group turned towards the doorway to see Sideswipe holding onto the doorframe, laughing his guts out. However, the others didn't find it too funny. Anger building up, the musician screamed, "SIDESWIPE!"
The yelling didn't seem to shake him. Giggling like a mad man, the mech cried, "Go, go, gadget, wheels!" At that, he transformed to his Lamborghini mode, burned rubber, and peeled away; his roars of laughter echoing down the hall.
That left the kids all alone to wallow in the puddle of muck; each one letting out annoyed and frustrated grumbles as they attempted to wipe off their arms and legs with little luck. As she tried to ring out her hair, Kayla spat, "This is a base, not fraggin' Animal House!" Her two friends stared at her; surprised at her use of Cybertronian cuss words. Alerted by the sudden silence, she shrugged, "What?"
"Yo! What's all da' yellin' 'bout?" asked a voice. The trio once again faced the doorway to find Jazz standing in the hallway. He looked utterly vexed at seeing three children becoming dead ringers for the creature of the black lagoon. Stepping across the threshold, he continued, "Man, what happened ta' ya' guys?"
Kayla tilted her head in the general direction of her best friend; annoyment plastered on her face, "We're in Sideswipe's quarters; need I say more?"
No, she didn't need to say anymore; the saboteur instantly understood, causing his emotions to become divided. On the one hand, he chuckled at the prank itself; he never saw anyone get tarred and feathered live before. On the other hand, however, he wasn't too pleased at who the mech picked for his victims. All he could say was, "Our resident prankster strikes again."
"Yeah, he struck", Carly said in frustration as she wiped her arms, "But why would he prank us? We didn't do anything to him…at least, I don't think so."
"Doesn't matter", Spike replied as he plucked a feather out of his hair, "You hardly need a motive for a prank. Rule number one; everyone's a target."
Hearing that statement, Kayla froze in place.
The Porsche heaved a sigh; a look of pity on his face, "Well, I guess I better go an' find Sides ta' get him ta' 'pologize fer' all dis'."
"It's okay", came a voice, making everyone else turn to the red head with utter shock.
"What?" the blonde inquired; eyes widening.
"It's okay", the musician said simply, "So we got a little dirty; big deal. It made for a good laugh, and that's all that matters, right?"
Jazz scratched his head in confusion; one minute, she was yelling, and now she was okay with it? What made her have a sudden change of heart? After a long pause, he drawled, "Are ya' sure? Ya' know Sides kin' get brig time fer' dis'…"
"No, no, it's cool", she reassured with a smile and a wave of her hand, "I mean, it was just a prank, right? I can take a joke, and besides, no one was hurt at all. Let him go."
The trio looked on at the musician as if a clone had taken her place. How could she possibly let the mech go after this? Both humans had their eyebrows raised; the red head of the bunch merely smiled…almost in a…mischievous way. Finally, the saboteur let out a huff, "O-kay; if dat's da' way ya' want it." He then addressed the whole group, " 'Fore ya' do anythin' else, go an' see Wheeljack. He's got a Cybertronian soap that'll clean you an' ya' clothes right up."
With that, the black and white mech ushered the kids out of the muck puddle, and scooted them off to the science lab down the hall. Needless to say, the scientist was a bit startled to see three, slimy creatures come trudging into his lair. But a brief explanation later, and the 'Bot set to work on getting a human-sized bath running for each of them. Thank God for small mercies, for the special soap did the trick in getting their clothes clean. That way, the garments could dry next to a generator while the group washed up; ahem-all in private of course.
The results were amazing. An hour or so later, the human trio walked out of the science lab as if the prank had never happened. Shouting a hearty "thank you" to Wheeljack, they began the long trek back to the rec. room; each one voicing their complaints regarding what landed them in the lab in the first place. "I still can't believe Sideswipe would do that to us", Carly said at one point.
"I can't believe we fell for it", Spike countered, "I should've known something wasn't quite right". He then turned from his girlfriend to the red head, who looked deep in thought, "Hey, Kayla; are you sure you're alright? It's not like you to take things lying down."
Her head never turned; however, the girl's eyes narrowed at the statement. It seemed she was contemplating something. Finally, after a long pause, she stated, "I've got some work to do on Teletraan-One. I'll meet you guys in the rec. room in an hour." With nothing else said, the musician made a memorized turn at the next intersection, leaving the young lovers alone in the corridor.
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Spike and Carly were sprawled out on the Autobot-sized couch, relaxing in front of the large TV, when the sound of a tapping cane made them turn. The doors had opened and closed with a swish, admitting Kayla into the room. The boy looked to his watch as he and his girlfriend jumped to the floor below; one hour, just like she said. The red head stopped at hearing the pair of footsteps coming toward her, and the young mechanic replied, "Okay, we're here. Now, what's this meeting all about?"
The girl's unseeing eyes darted around almost suspiciously, "Are we the only ones in here?"
Carly took a quick glance around, "Yep. Just us…why? What's the matter?"
The musician leaned in, as if she were telling a dirty, little secret…and in essence, she was, "You guys were right; I don't take things lying down, especially not after something like this happens. A joke, I can take, but Sides went too far."
The boy raised an eyebrow, "So…all that stuff you said…"
"-was just a front", the girl finished, "Couldn't let anyone on to my little plan."
The blonde cast a quizzical glance, "…what plan?"
A devious grin appeared on Kayla's face, "My mom has to work late tonight…which means I get to stay here longer…"
"And…?" Spike prodded.
The red head let out a brief chuckle, "That 'work' on Teletraan-One I said? It was to find out everyone's duty shifts…Sides is in recharge right now…and he won't be up 'till morning…"
Two pairs of eyes widened as realization sunk in; she couldn't be serious, could she? No one had dared prank the prankster, mainly because he was almost always one step ahead. Could it even be done? But hearing the girl's words, they realized that no one hardly had any success because they never tried while he was asleep…a time when he'd be caught off guard…the perfect, and probably only time to strike. Well…what the heck, why not? Besides, she did have a point; after all of the Lambo twin's practical terror on everyone, maybe it was high time he got a taste of his own medicine. It'd certainly make for a good laugh if they could pull it off. The teen didn't have to ask if they were in or out; the duo answered by letting loose a burst of excited giggles.
Kayla smiled; her face giving off an air of delighted mischief, "Grab a walkie-talkie. We're gettin' revenge; old school style!"
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Afternoon began to turn to dusk, and with it, brought an air of quiet to the Ark's many corridors as various mechs turned in for the night; a certain prankster included. Thank goodness for said peace, for it made Carly's trip to the Lambo twin's quarters all the more easier. Coming up to the doors, she gave a quick glance around, before fishing out a small communicator from her pocket. Looking as nonchalant as she could, she flipped the device open and whispered, "Black Canary to Armada team; over."
A second went by, then Kayla's voice crackled over the line, "It's Cobra. I'm Cobra Commander, remember?"
The blonde rolled her eyes, "Whatever…look, I'm at Big Red's room. Are you guys ready?"
Off in the café, the musician was leaning against a wall as Spike climbed a ladder to reach the table above. Walkie-talkie in hand, she teased, "We were born ready…okay, you got your supplies. Complete phase one, then meet us at the car wash. The foxes are on the move."
A pause, then a puzzled, "Huh?"
The red head sighed, "It means we're going in". With that, the girl shoved the radio back in her pocket, then followed the boy's muffled shouts; pulling a bottle of something out from under her arm. After some quick directions and a careful throw, the young mechanic caught the bottle and hurried over to the energon dispenser.
Back in the aforementioned hallway, the blonde quietly snuck into Sideswipe's quarters with the stealth of a ninja; pocketing her communicator in exchange for her lipstick…
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The next morning, Sideswipe awoke from his peaceful recharge; stretching out a few kinks as he did. With a tired yawn, he slowly rose from his berth; being careful not to disturb his brother sleeping in the bunk overhead. More energon for him then. He trudged to the door as quietly as possible; taking into account that he had yet to take down the bucket that so graciously slimed his human associates the other day. Apparently, they must have taken the harmless joke surprisingly well, for no one had hounded his back once; demanding answers. Well…all except Sunstreaker, who was none too pleased at the muck puddle it left; half of the quarters was his after all. Oh well…he cleaned up the mess, his prank worked, and for once, he wasn't spending his video game time down in the brig.
At that point, the mech was already halfway down the corridor; the welcoming thoughts of a hot cup of energon flooding his CPU. He was going to need it if he planned on getting through the early morning shift alive. As he paraded the halls, he was soon passed by many of his comrades…and past prank victims. "Hey, Hound", he waved.
The jeep looked up from the data pad in his hand, and was about to give a hearty "hello" of his own, when his optics widened and his jaw went slack. The Lamborghini continued onward, not noticing that his comrade stopped dead in his tracks and swiveled his head to watch him go down the hall.
Ah, the café doors; almost there. He spotted Bumblebee and Brawn a little ways ahead; both of them leaning against the wall, talking. However, when the two Minibots looked up at the approaching footsteps, they instantly paused the conversation to gape. As the Lambo twin trudged past, the Volkswagen Beetle quickly put a hand over his mouth as he began to giggle.
The cafeteria was filled with a fair amount of Autobots as they sipped their morning energon; chatting away about recent news, new fight moves, and what have you. A few could be heard trying to yawn away their grogginess; mumbling about their yearnings to go back to recharge. All n' all, it was just another sleepy, uneventful morning.
Until Sideswipe came swaggering into the room…
"Mornin' guys", the Lambo twin greeted. The gathered mechs turned to address him, when they were stricken by a most…interesting sight. Every face gave way to surprise, much like Hound, Brawn, and Bumblebee, and soon, many were fighting valiantly to suppress excited chuckles.
But the mech in question barely noticed as he made a beeline for the energon dispenser. With a relieved sigh, he grabbed a cup and filled it practically to the brim with the pinkish liquid he craved so much. Bringing the mug to his lips, he tilted his head back and took a large gulp.
The second the substance hit his mouth, his optics widened in a panic, and his head shot forward; spitting out every drop of energon in a rush. The others took a startled jump back, as Sides began coughing into the nearby sink; his cup practically smashed on the counter. After a minute or so of spitting up, the mech grabbed his mug and cast an angry, befuddled, death glance at the pink liquid, "What the frag?! What is this stuff?!" A closer inspection revealed the energon seemed a tad pinker than it usually was…and after a sniff or two…it smelled-kinda' like…hot sauce…?
Just then, someone in the crowd giggled, causing the Lambo twin to look up. The whole room had suddenly gotten very quiet, save for a few muffled chuckles, and he finally realized that everyone was staring at him. His optics darted around as if to say, "What?" It was then that Jazz, who was standing nearby, took Sideswipe by the shoulder and led him over to a mirror, hanging on the opposite wall. The saboteur could barely contain himself as the Lambo twin finally saw his reflection…and froze.
Let's just say that the fire engine lipstick, pink blush, crystal blue eye shadow, and mascara moustache that adorned his face ensured a win in the next beauty pageant. Before anyone knew he was gone, Sides bolted from the room.
The Lambo twin scurried down the halls in utter panic and deep embarrassment; an echoing trail of uncontrollable laughter right on his heels. At that point, more 'Bots were beginning to crowd the corridors, causing him to have to cover his face with his arms as best he could; shielding himself from further humiliation.
At long last, he arrived back at his quarters and practically leaped into the sanctuary from prying optics. The prankster leaned against the wall in a huff and tried to think. Who could've done this? How? His brother? He quickly glanced over to the bunk beds and found Sunstreaker missing; guess he went to get a quick bit…or, he was trying to avoid him, if he was the culprit. After heaving a sigh, Sideswipe trotted to his little, personal bathroom. He'd have to play Sherlock Holmes later; first things first-get this slaggin' make up off! With that, the mech got the water running in the sink and reached for the soap. A good lather or two later, and he was scrubbing away at his face, trying to wash away the embarrassment. He then stared intently at the mirror to see if his rinsing did the trick.
Oh, it did the trick all right…but not the trick he was hoping for. Instead of meeting a squeaky clean face, he stood gaping into the shocked optics of a horrified specter. Only when he touched his chin did he then realize that the specter was himself! Gone was the grayish, metallic face; in was one of bleached white. The Lambo twin gasped in fright. Whatever was in that soap, coupled with the make up incident, now made him look like a pale imitation of The Joker. Now what?
Just then, the red Lamborghini was struck with an idea; the car wash! A quick spray from the water jet blasts ought to get him clean! That said, the mech left his room, but not before taking a quick glance around to ensure he was truly alone. When the coast was clear, Sides made a mad dash down the hallway; thanking Primus the showers weren't too far away. Once he was spick and span, he'd find out who was behind all this, one way or another. He was already formulating a list of suspects when he made it to the carwash, and thankfully, without incident. Arriving at his personal stall, he wasted no time in pushing the button, and began spraying his clown face…heck, why not just his whole body for good measure? He proceeded to do just that. After a good long minute of rinsing, the Lambo twin finally opened his optics, shut the water off, and heaved a sigh as he went to a nearby mirror. That ought to have done it…
But no sooner did he see his reflection, he let out a yell at the unfairness of it all. Instead of seeing a shiny, Joker-face-free Lamborghini, he was met with the sight of a rainbow-colored, prank victim. Even his own shower hadn't been spared the mockery. Someone must have put food coloring, or dye, or something in the water tanks, for his bright red paint job now sported ugly splotches of green, blue, yellow, and purple. Letting out a frustrated growl, the mech banged his head against the wall; what kind of sicko would do this? His head hung low, the prankster trudged out the back end of his stall; mustering up the courage to face the peanut gallery…could this morning get any worse…?
The second his foot left the stall, something came into the path of his steps and coiled around his ankle. There then came the familiar sound of gears turning, and something squeaked overhead. Without any other warning, his head and shoulders were instantly bombarded by a rush of cold liquid, and he yelped in shock. When he finally came out of his funk, he slowly wiped his shoulder and inspected a hand that was dripping with a stinky, slimy, black muck; coupled with white…oh no…it couldn't be…it could…
Tar and feathers.
There then came the sound of roaring laughter, and Sideswipe looked up to see that his fellow Autobots had gathered in the doorway to witness the humiliating spectacle. Every last mech was either leaning against the doorframe, or holding their sides as they gasped for air; a few faces leaking optic fluid. The sight was just too hilarious!
Sides wanted nothing more than to be like Mirage and disappear. He let out an embarrassed groan, and was about to turn away, when his optics suddenly darted to the floor. Among the crowd of 'Bots, three human children were also present; standing by their feet and huddled together, chuckling. It was then that realization hit…tar and feathers…yesterday's prank…
The previously red mech pointed at the human trio and growled, "You!"
Despite the threat, Kayla continued to laugh, "Uh oh. Go, go, gadget, feet!"
With that, Spike and Carly darted away; grabbing the musician by both hands and pulling her with them, while those in the way stepped aside so an angry, muck-covered Sideswipe could give chase.
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AN: I LOOOOOVE me some ol' fashioned practical jokes! And originally, I was going to explain how the humans pulled off the prank, but the more I tried to write it in, the more I realized it was funnier if it was just left up to the reader's imagination.