Steven smiled when he found out if was in the red light district, there was surely a place here for him. He looked back at Lion, he really wished he could talk to him, Lion surely wouldn't betray him. Would he? Trust no one, he had to follow that, but he could give Lion some of his trust, at least. After he walked around the streets for a while he realized the sun was about to set, and he hadn't found a place to stay yet. He knew being out in the dark in a place like this was not a good idea, even with his gem powers. He frowned 'Well, Steven, this is the life you decided to live, it's better than to be with them...' He sighed, that was true.
Steven spotted a building with broken and missing glass, the door open, he decided that would work. He as soon as he walked into the building he was welcomed by it's nearly pitch black interior. He didn't even remember packing a flashlight. He took a few more steps in waiting for his eyes to adjust. After they adjusted he could see more clearly the was a staircase in a corner, and the rest had trash strewn about. It was better than nothing, plus it was almost dark anyway.
Once Lion came in Steven pulled out his sleeping bag and set up for the night. His favorite feline curled up next to him and they slept. Once he closed his eyes he felt that he opened them in another world, with pink light surrounding him. Pink rose petals floated gently past him to the water he just noticed below. It looked just like the water or Rose Quartz's fountain. The water was soon covered with the petals so you had to concentrate to see any water at all. So peaceful, maybe he'd sleep well tonight with no nightmares of the gems or anything. And no Rose Quartz.
Suddenly he fell from the air plunging deep into the water, he tried to swim up but felt a sharp pain in his side. He looked to see what it was, he looked gasped drawing water into his lungs. Pearl's face was scowling at him her spear was deeply embedded in him all the way to the haft. His vision blurred and his eyes closed, everything was so heavy. Steven woke up with a start, jumping out of his sleeping bag and forming a protective bubble around him. He saw a bright light shining on his face. Fear gripped him, was it one of the gems, he looked around for Lion but he was gone. Must have gone hunting for something.
"Who's there?" Steven said his voice wavering, as the fear wrapped around him. The person who held the light shined it on their face. He saw a female with her hair up and an officer cap. He would talk to her then, grab his sleeping bag and leave. Lion could find him. Before he could plan anything she replied.
"What was that bubble thing?" She was clearly shocked, his story was that he was leaving a group of others with super powers like him because he wanted to do his own thing. Yes, that would work. It was mostly true, but he couldn't tell her everything, he was a gem and she a human. He stopped at that though. He was half gem, half human, nothing like Rose Quartz.
"It's my shield, a natural reflex sorry," 'play it cool,' he thought to himself. He smiled, 'friendly as well, but also show that you can handle yourself,' "Did I hurt you humans can be so fragile... officer right?" Tell her you aren't human, and that will help you. 'Maybe you could tell her you're one hundred years old,' he waved, where was Lion? He needed him for the safest escape.
"You're not human?" She said fear in her voice this time, he could see her shack the flash light helped light the entire area. He walked back to his sleeping bag and sat down. 'Be relaxed, and reassuring,' Steven though, he was being very calculative, one of his newest attributes, one of which he didn't like.
"No I'm not, but you don't have to believe me. I can prove it." He said summoning his shield, it glowed in the dark area, he ran to the other side of the room with his running ability and then thought of his happiest times to float. It went perfectly he kicked the walk a floated back to where he began, with a now awestruck officer, looking at him. Steven sat back down waiting for a response, when there was none for a while he responded to himself, "I know I'm not supposed to sleep in an abandoned building and stuff like that, but there isn't a place for me currently."
He smiled when Lion warped open an area into the room and made the officer faint. Well, that was way easier than he could have hoped, he threw the sleeping bag into Lion, not even folding it. He needed to move and find a better place to sleep. This time hopefully no one would disturb him, he frowned another night of terrible sleep. He left with Lion, walking the streets once more. He already saw the hint of gray that meant dawn was coming soon. He had no time to sleep, looks like he had an entire day ahead of him to find a new place to live in Salt Lake City. Steven decides that this was the best place to live, because, well, he didn't want to move again. And memorizing the streets of a city would be great, and he wouldn't have to worry about truancy in two more weeks because of summer.
He walked around enjoying the golden hues of dawn, and the color it made everything. It was peaceful, slightly improving his mood, as he walked past the worn out warehouse and factory buildings, old, but still in use. Steven sighed, he was tired of this wondering, this wasn't a good idea. Maybe he could put this in the Mistakes of Steven Universe folder as if it wasn't filled up already. No there was no turning back the gems were probably angry with him, there was no way he was going back. Lion soon left his side, only after he took a few dimes so he could call her on a payphone. Now he just needed to find one, she would be up by now getting ready, maybe he could call his dad? No, he didn't need to make that mistake, he would call Connie.
After wondering for a while he found the payphone he saw yesterday and dialed Connie's house number. Her mom answered.
"This is Priyanka Maheswaran speaking,"
"Hey it's Steven Universe, may I speak to Connie?" Steven frowned he hoped he didn't waste his money.
"Steven Universe... Where are you?" Steven's gut churned she must know he ran away. He should hang up. No! He needed to talk to Connie, 'play it cool Steven,' he smiled.
"In Idaho, Mrs. Maheswaran, can I please speak to Connie?"
"Connie told me you ran away, Steven." He could hear her sigh, he almost laughed chewed out my Connie's mom and now that Connie told her mother he may not be able to be friends with her. 'Just play it cool,' he reminded himself.
"I know, but... can I at least say hi?" He was upset that he couldn't talk to her, he could say that he's fine and found a place to live and everything like that.
"I don't want my daughter getting any ideas from you Steven." She hung up. He wanted to scream, tears rolled down his face he just wanted to go home. He just wanted things to be normal again, he never could go home now. The gems what would he tell them what would he do? He gently put the phone back on it holder. He might need to use it again. He realized his hand made contact with the glass protecting the payphone from the elements, it shattered. He then ripped the from of the wall that once held the glass, he bent the steel and walked away not bothering to care for a hurt hand. Ignoring the people staring at him, it was time to go home. After all, this running all these nightmares, he could care less about what the gems were going to do. Nothing mattered, but not hurting Connie, maybe it was for the best that he stay away from her. He wasn't strong enough after he broke out of jail, he needs to be strong enough now.
He found the park they were at yesterday, staying there till noon for Lion to show up with a dead animal of some sort in his mouth. He waited for Lion to finish before asking to go home. "Lion it's time to go home, I know I said I was never going back but, this is not what I wanted." After listening to Steven he got up and was waiting for him to get on. Steven got on Lion's back and was welcomed with the sight of a familiar beach.
The house he once lived in stared down at him, his heart raced, his mouth went dry. It was then he noticed that he wasn't very clean. He sighed, no time to worry about things like that, What would they do? He stole around three hundred dollars from his dad and packed away half his room with him. Lion sat behind him, waiting. He couldn't just walk there, the tasked seemed monumental. He felt light headed, he needed to breathe. After another eternity later he, he gasped for air and sighed it out. He walked forward a few steps, now he was at the bottom of the stairs.
The stairs seemed to be growing longer, but he still forced himself up there, dread like lead weighing him down. He could hear them talking, they were all stating where they had looked for Steven. What would he say when he walked in what should he do? It was entirely unpredictable what they would do, and that terrified him. He was halfway up the stairs and he felt like he couldn't go anymore, it was like he was walking to his death. He wasn't though, he reminded himself of that. Steven would survive whatever happened, they gems could do anything and he would survive. He knew they would never hurt him.
He sighed it was very reassuring but he walked up the stairs till he reaches the very top. He pushed open the screen door the squeak giving away his presence. Steven stared at the gems while they stared at him, the silence was more crushing than if all of them angrily yelled at him. Pearl look relieved, Amethyst happy, and his dad, sad. Garnet, he couldn't tell what Garnet felt like, she never betrayed anything. He needed to say something anything...
"I decide that maybe running away wasn't one of the best ideas I've had," He said sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. Every muscle in his body was tensed up and he could bare them looking at him anymore. He felt the urge for him cry and forced it back. 'No crying Steven, play it cool then it will turn out okay.'
"Steven," he relaxed even though Garnet said it, he was glad that there was no more silence. He noticed that the gem opened her mouth to say more but it was immediately closed. Was nothing going to be the same again? He knew that the answer was no, but he hoped everything would turn back to the way it was, where everything was peaceful. He knew that his own mistakes lead to this outcome but there were so many things that he could have done to change it. Yet every time he took the wrong turn every time he made things worse. He should have been happy with the way things were, instead of attempting to change them.
"Steven I'm glad your back but we have some things to talk about," Greg looked concerned and motioned him to sit next to him. There was only one space left, and it was left for him. He slowly walked to the seat and hesitated before sitting. "Steven, why did you run away you know we love you right?" Steven didn't want to hurt his dad but he ended up doing it anyway. What was he going to tell the gems? Nothing he would force them all to resume life just like it was before, everything would be fine.
"Let's just put this all behind us and leave it alone. All that matters now is that I'm back and, well that's it." That wasn't as though out as he would have wanted, but it would have to do. Steven hoped and prayed that they would just drop what had happened and let it be in the past. He was home, and he was fine with that. 'Am I though,' Steven stated, no he was he needed to be.
"Dude, after everything I don't think we can," this time it was Amethyst, now the only one who needed to speak was Pearl. No doubt she'd make herself next. He frowned at what she said though. If they were going to play it that way he would just refuse to talk to them. 'Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! They won't ever drop this topic. I can just not say anything, no, that would be another mistake.'
"She's right Steven, we can't just leave it like this, we need to know what's been bothering you so much as to," Pearl stopped herself when Steven glared daggers at her. This isn't what he wanted at all, why had he dragged himself into this situation, all because he didn't want to face his problems, always trying to find a way out, always making things worse. Not today he knew there was no way to get out of what he'd put himself into. He'd tell them everything except for him cutting. That would crush them, he never wanted to hurt anyone, instead, he hurt everyone. He failed at everything, but this was something he was going to fail at.
Tears welled up in his eyes before they slid down his face. This was too difficult he couldn't do this! 'I must do this there is no other way. I have to, he wished everything could be the same, they could have a together breakfast, again. Maybe not, that monster was scary.' Soon after that, he got himself back on his topic. Confession. He forced the tears to stop, even though his through still ached he began, "I know this may sound silly but, I've always been jealous of Rose Quartz."
The gems, except Garnet, were surprised that he called her Rose Quartz and not mother, or anything like that. Pearl noticed in more detail the rift between him and his mother. But Steven had an idea in his head, 'I know what will make everything right again, I'll be everything they want me to be. I'll be her.' Silence was all that was until he continued explaining everything. From start to end, not leaving out anything except what they could not bare. Everything would be normal again, and everyone would be happy, but him. That's the way in needed to be.
When he was finished everyone just stared at him, he even explained why he was angry with Garnet. That one was upsetting to her specifically, he saw her frown and not angrily. Everyone felt like they were the one to blame when he was finished and he knew he had to hurt them a little to not hurt them a lot. Everything was going to be fine, he was going to take care of them and protect them from how he felt. No one should bare his burden, he cared Rose Quartz's and now his own. He knew that was impossible to bare and that's what he had to do, bare them.
"Let's not talk about this anymore," Steven said, knowing they'd finally get off his case. He was a little hungry maybe Pearl could make something, anyway they'd figure something out. Plus, they would step carefully around him. Pearl smiled.
"I think Greg, you could go get pizza and tell them to spread the word that Steven's back," Steven contained his displeasure at the fact that they told beach city that he ran away. More problems for him to deal with. He would take care of everything, it would just take time, he would be perfection for them even if he had to die to do it. Steven knew just exactly what 'perfection' they wanted him to be.
"That sounds good," He said feigning happiness, he was getting go at pretending. He would be everything they wanted him to be when he was grown. After Greg left it was silent, no one wanted to say anything, and no one to bother him. He needed to say something to them make they happier, "You guys did nothing wrong you know." Perfection.
"Steven we should have done something, we should have—" Amethyst blurted before she was interrupted by Steven.
"You guys did nothing wrong and that's how I see it so please just," He didn't need to finish that Steven knew they understood. He smiled at them it was going to be a long time before things were normal again, a very stressful time. He should have just never come back now he was going to do something that he hated. He hoped he made the right decision this time.
There was silence until Greg came back, all the time he was uncomfortably aware of Garnet's eyes drilling into his head. He just couldn't talk to her, maybe in private but. He needed to apologize make things right again, everything would be okay. Why did he need to remind himself that? They everyone but Garnet and Steven idly chatted, though Pearl just talked. Steven should tell Connie that he came home. He would have to wait till she came home and that was a few hours away.
Greg soon left to take care of the car wash, and Garnet told Pearl and Amethyst that she wanted to talk to Steven alone. He tensed when he heard that, he just couldn't talk to her yet, 'Steven you need to be like Rose, she wouldn't avoid this,' he reminded himself, he didn't want to do this.
"Steven," Garnet said motioning him to sit with her on the couch, he was beginning not to like sitting there. He just needed to deal with this, as much as it scared, annoyed, or whatever emotion he had, he needed to do this. It wasn't a choice, but he could just walk away and not, "Steven are you going to sit?" Garnet said noticing he was looking at the door. He sighed and sat next to her, dread filled him.
"Garnet, I'm sorry I shouldn't have been so mean to you," He said nervously, he didn't want to do this...
"Steven, I..."She had no words, she didn't have any since he told them everything, and she just wanted to hug him and make everything better. Bring everything back to normal. She noticed how nervous Steven was, and relaxed, it was going to be okay. "Just know even after what you did you aren't in trouble, it's our faults."
Steven frowned at that, it was his fault, he was the one who made all the mistakes. His fault! He laughed, "How could this possibly be your fault?" He then noticed he was crying, he had cried too much today, but he didn't care right now. "I made the mistakes leading up to this."
Garnet was crushed by this, he did nothing wrong but wanting to be happy, and not having things forced on him. She did nothing wrong he could have come to her! She was in the fault here, it was her fault and she knew it. No, she couldn't have predicted this! This was her fault, she couldn't do anything. Steven was hurt because of her incompetence. She was about to cry when her fusion destabilized, and she split up.
"This is all our fault!" Seeth ruby, ground smoldering around her. She was glaring at Sapphire, tapping her foot. Steven was even more upset with himself, he caused them to unfuse. He got up and slammed the door and sat on the beach he wasn't going to bother them. They'd make up if he wasn't there.
"Ruby, it isn't our fault. But it's best if we go talk to him now before he runs off again. I day that it's a fifty-fifty chance currently." Sapphire said monotonously, getting up and floating towards the door. Ruby soon followed and gave a sigh of relief to see Steven laying on the beach. They both laid down next to him, nothing was said for what felt like for years.
"I'm not Rose Quartz," He said tearing up. He didn't want to be her but, they did that was upset him the most. Even when he was trying to be her, he causes problems, he caused them to unfuse. "Even when I try to be her I cause problems. I even tough about dyeing my hair pink once." Tears streamed down his face, this always useless. He wanted to just be himself, but that now was such an abstract concept. All his life he wanted to be her trying to. They only time he didn't was when he ran away, that was his only freedom, and he gave it up. He should just leave, Lion still had everything in his mane. No, he just needs to stay here and be Rose Quartz, for the gems, no matter how much it hurt he needed to be her.
"Steven, ugh!" Ruby said frustrated, "We don't care that you're not Rose Quartz, Steven just be you." Ruby said, proud of how she said it, she may not be the smartest but, she thought that was said well. She didn't even use future vision to help.
"I agree with Ruby, be yourself, Steven." The cold blue gem said, he couldn't tell anything from her, it was almost like she had no emotion. Steven had met her before, though it was rare to see Garnet unfused. It was a little uncomfortable to feel the heat radiating of Ruby and then the chill that came for her counterpart.
"You want the truth," Steven sighed, before continuing, "All my life I've tried to be her. That was my only goal, I never wanted anything else but that. But recently I found out something she did, I know she had to but... I don't want to be her. Rose Quartz is the last person I would ever want to be." Steven said looking at the clouds overhead, it felt good to open up himself to people. Why hadn't he ever done this to other people before?
"Steven, you never had to be Rose Quartz," Ruby said frowning, there were still thing he hadn't told them even in that long discussion. She wished Garnet was back already she couldn't bare being unfused with Sapphire.
"You know Steven It's funny I never foresaw this," Sapphire said, as neutral as ever. He wanted Garnet back, it was awkward with these two. How would he say it, Steven Style? How could he be Steven anyway, all his life he tried to someone else, now he didn't know who to be.
"Could you two become Garnet again?" He asked he hoped it sounded right to them. Even though he felt jealous of Garnet always having someone to talk to, didn't mean he didn't want her around. He would be happy even to have her back, it's easier to talk to one person than two. Be he was glad that they were there anyway. Maybe things would get better for him, things may never be normal again, but they could always get better. Steven smiled, 'It will get better.'
Sorry it took so long to get out, forgive me and my lazyness. ._.