„Wake up" I can hear a voice, probably the Monster, calling out to me. She is somewhere near, I'd like to say but the truth is different. She is a part of me, she is the Eden that flows in my veins. She is in my mind, guiding me and taking to the places no one would even dream of. I have it all I have my half-immortality. Because no matter how many times I die, I return with all of my memories. When I fall asleep, I remember every single life. These memories fade when I am awake, so that I am not too confused in the world i live in.
Suddenly one of the memories flashes bright in my mind… not really a memory, more like a dream, that contains parts of my different lives.
„Professor!" I shriek, my voice no more childish, I run through the corridors, or rather I'd say it is a silver bridge I was on. It was wide enough to run, one could probably even fight on it, without worrying about falling down the abbyss. I mean, if one was careful of course. What scared me then, wasn't the fall itself but the abbyss underneath me, tiny lights of white, blue, green and a bit of golden are swirling in the air, keeping the area in the dim light. I can't tell how deep the Abbyss was, seems like a neverending fall as for me. The entire structure: bridge and sector blocks that were connected by this bridge, look like an underground city, I can see many sectors glowing far away. How huge this thing is…
Somehow, I feel nervous. I have no idea what to do now, where to go. I close my eyes, tryng to think of… anything! No answer comes but it's not like I don't know how to think logically. I… I know how to escape from here, I have to know that. And a part of my memory is simply cut out, I can't reach it.
„Professor!" I shout once again. I'm scared! What did they do to me? Why can't I access my own memory? I run, not even knowing where, if I trurn left or right, it happens randomly, the bridge, or rather bridge system is like a fractal, neverending, repeating same sequences, not knowing. Eternal.
I can hear someone fighting. It is the monster, of course before she became what I call her now and… No… No way!
„Eckart…" the Monster says „Don't. Make me. Do this. You are my friend!" she shouts.
He then spells out her name, repeats it with different tones. Finally he says what he means.
„You are wrong. I am not your friend."
„Then WHAT are you, Eckart? If you reject everyone and everything, If you are left alone, who will be there to hear you? I. I am the only one who remained loyal to you. Don't you dare deny it or destroy it."
He laughs, I'd reckognize his laughter anywhere and at any moment. It truly is Eckart.
„My dear, it is all over now. You heard The Message, right? We ALL heard it, at one moment the words were spoken and everyone heard them! The Prophecy of Onera, written in the Fifth chapter of Caraidan Covenant, it came true. The words are different, indeed yet the meaning is the same. Our Creation. Research. Annihilate. We are NOTHING, you hear me? NOTHING! We'll be used as energy sources, drained of the life force when needed. There's no Hope" he speaks her name out again „Nothing you ever known will remain. For YOU KNOW NOTHING!" he rushes towards her, pulling his weapon out. The Monster blocks him without trying.
„You are insane. Please, Eckart, OPEN YOUR EYES! We cannot trust THEM!"
The fight begins, I can do nothing but stand and stare at their perfect movements. Eventually, Monster forces Eckart to back down. He surrenders, takes a few steps back, before falling down into the Abbyss…
„NOOO!" she tries to catch him but it is too late. I can see her, broken, depressed. There is no one left in this world for her.
She then looks at me, her eyes so… sane. Sad. Full of emotion. Slowly she gets up and walks towards me. I stand helpless, as she points Fallaire at me, ready to kill if needed. Yes, I a afraid but in the last moment, she turns the blade with one easy flip, now i can take the rapier…. I can kill her. Yes, I desire her death, even now I want to pierce her heart and make its beating stop! But before I can even react, she eludes the unmoving blade and gently embraces me. I can feel her teardrops on my bare shoulder.
„I lost everything… Everything i dreamed of, everything I've ever hoped for, the good name of my family is gone. All because of this petite creature" She lets go of me, to stare in my eyes. Her long fingers lift my chin up. „Disaster, Catastrophe, Calamity… so many words to describe the Ultimate Sin of our entire race." She leaves me, as I stand in shock.
I am…
…The Sin of Immortality. As described in Caraidan Covenant, book four.
Later, „THEY" arrived. To destroy our planet, to drain the life force out of us all.
More pictures flash in my mind:b a small town, all in flames. The Monster sitting on a cliff, watching the disaster.
„Here. That is the good place for you…" I watch her tear out a page from a book. The description of Immortality, The Ultimate Sin, as the piece of paper is consumed by the flames, they start to die. „Everything will change. You'll see…" she then whispered a name, long forgotten. It was… the Name I got before I became Sin.
She wanted me… to come.
She prophesized my arrival, no, she chose the place for me to arrive to.
I see Eckart's face.
„Triator" I whisper, opening my eyes to see the blonde swordsman „You… are the Triator…."
He looks at me, surprised „W-what are you even talking about!?"
I can't move, I hardly even breathe, I can feel something rushing through my veins, healing me. Eden…
Then a black haired woman walks in with Kathy, I smile, seeing the girl's not even ginger but almost literally red hair with golden-orange highlights, so bright in this grey and sad world. I brush my long, no longer braided, auburn hair.
„Maybe from distance she may be similar to Aeris but seriously, Cloud, to mistake these two? Hmm… okay, it WAS possible, you proved it. But anyway… You can't just kiss strangers because they look like someone you loved in the past" she chuckled.
Now I remember what happened before I fainted, why do I need Eden this much here? At this rate I'll run out of drug in no time…
„I hope that at least it will be safe to say that we both quite enjoyed it" I smirk „Though she is right, kissing srtangers because they look similar to your ex-girlfriend? I'm not familiar with that kind of behaviour."
I notice a slight blush of emberrassment on the swordsman's cheeks, it makes me wanna chuckle.
„Nothing bad happened, by the way, I'm Sin" I extend my arm to shake hands with him.
„Sin?" he repeats.
Yeah, I think, like Lust, Wrath, Pride… a sin. That's what they are called… I was named after them, because that's what I am. No one could ever change that.
„M-hm." I nod slightly.
„Kathy" the black haired woman says „What was the… thing you gave to your friend? May I know?"
It is a quick game, Kathy casts a glance at me, I then respond to the black haired woman, she stares at me, not really understanding, I exchange glances with Kathy just to say to the woman:
„Medicine. Eden's its name" I take the jewellery box and show the pills to her and the blonde swordsman.
„This colour…" he then whispers „Lifestream green…. I'd reckognise it anywhere!" he stands up, rapidly, his breath slightly quicker… the black-haired woman then looks at me then at the swordsman.
„Cloud" she says „You're acting weird, what's wrong with you?"
We stare each other in the eyes, Cloud and me, it is just a short while. He wants to make sure, that I am not the one he loved. I couldn't be… Even if I wanted. I think of how Kadaj called Cloud his brother, how Cloud was supposed to 'betray' them. If I am natural enemies with the Silver Haired Men, am I a natural enemy to their brother, too? Or if he betrayed them, is he my friend, my ally?
Then everything gets kinda hazy, I'm not sure about what happened for sure or what was a dream… no, that wasn't a dream. It really happened but my mind wasn't here, not really. I was like a puppet, I felt it. But not monster's puppet, it was this creature, the head… or its cells somewhere here.
It guides me to take Eden and crush two pills to the form of powder, then mix it with the water from the church which Kathy had with her. After that, the creature or its part leads me to the room where one like seven year old boy is sleeping. No, he is actually half-asleep, half delirious because of the wound on his head. Rotting wound, like the one that was on the swordsman's arm. Controlled, I apply the ceam-like mixture to the wound and put the bandage on, then the black-haired woman asks me.
„Will it… help him?"
„He is still alive… it should do something although I'm not sure about the eff-" then, the blonde swordsman interrupts me, almost yelling
„What do you mean by 'not sure'!?"
„Cloud, don't yell" yells the black-haired woman
„Please, let me finish!" I say „It may help or leave him like he is, considering the healing properties of Eden… I tried to cure one geostigma-suffering person with it but… it was too late. Applied moments after he stopped breathing… but Denzel, he is still alive, Eden may work"
I can see Cloud calming down, then I smile softly. I don't want him to become my enemy, I'll meet them on my way, this is sure… I want to make sure that I have allies by my side, too. Because I rarely ever get a chance for alliances, especially moments after I arrive to the new world. Remember, it's been just two days… You will succeed this time, Sin.
„And… I am sorry for what happened in the church, I mean… pink dress, crimson jacket, auburn, braided hair… and those lifestream green eyes… You're so much like her. Although there is one thing, different, you seem soft and sweet at the first glance but the way you… feel, the taste, unsweetened tea with a bit of mako… that's the thing that made me sure that you are not Aerith"
I examine him with my eyes, there surely is something that makes the conversation between us way harder than it should be. Weird… as for me this feelin
„M-hm… Could you tell me more about her, Cloud? If you want to, of course… I don't want to force you, just… To know who was I mistaken for. What was Aerith like?"
Cloud doesn't want to talk, I think. I can't force anything on anyone, all I can do is wait for the answer.
„She was beautiful… all soft and sweet, spending days in her church, taking care of flowers"
„Lucky her… I wish, I relly wish I could exchange places with her, just for some time… I'd love to settle down, have a garden maybe? But it is impossible, I yearn to fight, itall gets all harder now that i have to take care of Kathy. I can't live without fighting yet i want to settle down and get rid of all the burden-"
„Zuruzuru, Zuruzuru" he interrupts me „You are dragging this burden after you… I know what you are going through, trust me" he took my hand rapidly and squeezed it.
„Oh you two are so adorable together… And yeah, You kinda look like Aerith when you have Cloud with you, Sin"
I let out a chuckle, things are getting interesting. But I have one more thing to do here, i need to know if Eden is here… in any form. As I can see, I can't really ask about this mako thing or how they call it, since it seems to be something… well, well-known around here. I'll get to know, in time. Everything will work itself out, in time…
I ask Tifa, for this is black-haired woman's name, about this medicine or anything similar. Unfortunately, this is the first time she sees such medicine as my drug.
„Well, then the trip here didn't give me much. I'll be going."
„Where" Cloud and Tifa ask at the same moment.
„I… I don't really know. Home, probably?"
„If you mean Banora then I'll have to worry, or remind you. The town of Banora was destroyed about… seven, maybe eight years ago? By ShinRa's air attack."
I look at him, maybe shocked, maybe interested, from what I got to know when I arrived, ShinRa was an electric power company, why would they do something like that?
„Sin was a researcher, she was living in a laboratory for long years"
„Rather a research then researcher" I murmur under my breath, that's what it sounded like. And according to my memories, I was a research. A research on Immortality, maybe. Fuck it.
Cloud looks at me as if he heard what i was talking about. I have to fix it, somehow. Or else, I'll just mess thing up as I always do. I always do this the best.
„I meant, home where I now live with Kathy. I have no better place to go, right?"
„About this research…" Tifa starts
„Later. I'll visit you." I take Kathy's hand as she looks at me surprised. I just calm her down with my eyes, It is not safe to stay here, until I manage to get some knowledge about this world.
„Okay, sorry" she apologizes „Stay for dinner at least…"
I cast a quick glance at Kathy.
„Yes… I want to"
„Alright, we can stay here for dinner."
I have to admit, my cooking is nowhere near to this here, maybe I could really settle down, have a garden full of plants and learn recipes, become a mother-figure for Kathy, it would be good, I'd love a life like this. But this world is not meant for such things, and I have limited Eden sources.
During the dinner we talk about lots of things, I learn quickly from listening to Tifa, Cloud, Kathy and her new friend Marlene. I learn that lifestream was 'a river of life' flowing around the planet and was said to gather the souls of the dead, yet when the meteor was summoned, the planet used lifestream as shield, or a weapon rather and it turned against the life on the planet, causing Geostigma. Or so the people believe, another theory is thatwhat causes geostigma are the cells of Sephiroth.
„Sephiroth!?" I repeat automatically.
„You… you knew him?" Cloud then asks.
„No… just, this name is somewhere in my mind… I can't recall him but I know I heard of him, knew him personally even. Maybe." I massage my temples, as pain flows through my veins, my brain, I don't know what is happening! I want to… to know the truth, to know what happened! Why was this town I said i come from, Banora, destroyed!? Why am I feeling pain when I think of it!? After a while I let my arms fall limply to my sides and take a few deep breaths to compose myself.
„Is everything… alright?" Cloud asks
„Yeah… just slight… overdose… of Eden" I pant, feeling tired, worn out, I am… I am too close to him, or to anything that contains the cells of this head… „I'll be fine just have to wait a bit. It happened lots of times and is not as dangerous as it looks or sounds"
I smile, I want him to think that I'm alright. We spend a moment in silence, not even casting a glance at one another and after a while, Tifa walks in.
„Wait, you said you come from Banora, right?" she asks me „I've got something for you" She leads me and Cloud to the kitchen, where she reaches up to the cupboard and takes one bottle of some… wine? Juice rather, then pours it to the glasses and closes the bottle carefully.
„You won't get it anywhere nowadays, and I bet it'll bring some good memories as well. Banora White juice, the trademark of your hometown." She smiles „I was saving that for a special occasion but I think this is special enough" she raises her glass „Cheers. For the better days"
„For the better days" I repeat, then cast a quick glance at Cloud. I hope that everything will be okay, maybe I'll get a new ally even. I've arrived to a world where I can finally get allies. Where I can be myself and find someone who may help me in my journey. Just this life…
I take a sip of the juice, hoping for experience of something completely new but… this taste, it is so familliar! Like home, like a life without worries. I see it like a hazy dream, three friends, sky full of stars, days and evenings spent on reciting poetry, reading, taking care of plants and talking, just to talk. I cen hear somebody's laughter, I yearn to be there… A few hazy images flash in my mind, I wanna… go there, no matter what, there has to be something…
„Is it good?" Cloud asks
„Yes… tastes like home, childhood… all the nostalgia just came back to me. Thank you, it's so good to taste it once again"
After the dinner is finished I feel almost like in heaven, the food was a masterpiece compared to what I prepared for supper the day before. I talk to Cloud and Tifa and Kathy plays with Marlene in the other room, I learn even more about this world, good. Very good.
„Can't even stand looking at you in this pink dress" Cloud says „Wait… Wait, I have an idea! Tifa, say I'm going crazy but…" he stands up and walks away. I'm… confused…
„He is not his usual self, I tell you that" Tifa says „What's going on with him!?"
„You're asking me? I wish I could help but there's nothing I could possibly do. I'm just a guest here"
„Sure thing."
Another moment of silence – interrupted just by the quiet laughter of the girls, so nice and peaceful, a glimmer of hope in this dying world – passes. Eden rushes through my veins, reminding me of my destiny, some more memories flash in my mind. Then, Cloud walks in. He is holding some old clothes.
„They may be a little bit too loose but… just try them on. Please?"
„Cloud" Tifa says with a strong voice. Is it… something bad? I don't know, I just go to one room and change into the clothes. The outfit is pretty worn-out and looks like a military uniform, sleeveless shirt, a belt and dark, loose trousers, also heavy duty boots and a shoulder pauldron. I just leave the last part of this uniform, not feeling like wearing it. When I show myself to Cloud and Tifa, she hits him hard on the back of his head.
„Moron!"
I chuckle but have to admit that I am fond of this outfit, there's something in it that makes me think that this is how I should look like. For I am a soldier, in my own war. I can see that Cloud is very happy because of seeing me in this outfit, even if his gentle half-smile doesn't say it, the eyes… there's so much emotion in his eyes.
I see a set of swords put int one, something tells me its name, The Fusion Swords. They are all resting in my hand, how, why?
„Okay, without these swords but… yeah, it looks pretty fine on you. I don't think there were any women in SOLDIER but… I wasn't really a part of them, too"
„I see… hey, you said about my eyes…"
„..Mako infused. This blueish sheen says it all, also, their lifestream-green hue… yeah, if I didn't know you as well as I do now, if I didn't give this uniform to you, I'd say you were a human-Cetra hybrid who was a part of SOLDIER. But the Cetra are all gone…"
„I'm sorry. For them, for your loss, your guilt. I wish I could do something but the past is in the past and we can do nothing about it. We have to go on, every single one of us. You have to get your mind off things, Cloud. How about a duel?"
He looks at me surprised, so I repeat „A duel, one versus one. First blood, first open wound ends the match" I smile, I want to fight him, now. Fight anyone!
After a short walk, we left the city streets, Midgar is its name as I learned so far. I purchase a cheap weapon there, a rusty rapier.
„Why did you buy it? I mean, you have a better one, with you." Cloud notices
„Fallaire is not the blade meant for fighting, unless there is no other way. It is a symbol, a memento of someone… somehow dear to me."
„Sounds familliar, too familiar" he says, stopping in front of a bandaged blade. I know it, too… Could I… fail in one of my lives? Could it be that I was sent back here? To finish my mission, destroy this world?
„This sword…" I say, looking at it. „I'm sure I saw it! Way back when… when I still lived in Banora" I say. Why!? Why do I say things like that!? Maybe… I am not really myself? What the hell is going on here? All I know about Banora is that it was a village somewhere in this world, that it was destroyed by ShinRa's air attack and that it was famous for that delicious juice.
„Possible. It belonged to my friend… he was a SOLDIER"
„Was he from Banora? Maybe I knew him as well?"
„No, from a village called Gongaga"
I nod slightly „So he was on a military mission there, maybe" I say, looking at the sky, so blue, so distant… beautiful…
Once more I lose control, as we walk further and then fight. He says I fight like a real first-class SOLDIER. I don't even know what is happening, I am a puppet in Monster's hands, I know it. It is all unreal, so unreal. I lose to him, and then we walk home, dusk is slowly falling as my wound is healed by Eden. Cloud seems intereted in it, so I tell him this and that.
We pass the house where Kathy lives, I see Kadaj looking through the window. I blink to him and smile just to see burning betrayal in his eyes. Clous seems to notice this and asks:
„Everything's… fine?" He looks towards the window, Kadaj's no longer there
„Ehh, I left the lights on!" I say „Well, nevermind. Let's go, I'll take Kathy home."
He stares me in the eye, as if he wanted to know if everything was fine, as if he wanted to make sure that I was not lying. The fact that I was so close to the head, AND him… it was too much.
„Let's get going."
He seems to notice that I don't feel really good and leads me towards Seventh Heaven. My wound has already healed, the night is pleasant here. We walk slowly, not hurrying much, just enjoying this time together.
„Thank you, Cloud. For this afternoon and evening. And the duel, it was all… awesome."
„Nothing special, a date maybe would be but a duel? Please… It had no meaning for me, you… you're not her."
I nod slightly, yeah, I'm not Aerith. And I will never be even close to her. I am nothing more than… No, I don't wanna even think of it. Not now that I'm having such a wonderful time with Cloud, not now that I feel as if I was free from Eden. I wonder, could Cloud really have the cells of that creature? I wanted to connect the facts, if he was taking care of the Orphans, Marlene and Denzel, maybe… his will to help Denzel somehow forced me to do something against my will? But then… no, no, no, no, no… that'd be somewhat… creepy as for me? No-Thank-You!
We finally reach the Seventh Heaven
„Thank you once again, Cloud. For… everything. Begginning from the kiss and ending right here. Thank you…"
„N-No problem, Sin. Go take Kathy home, our „walk" lasted like 8 hours in total, It is almost midnight"
„Did it feel… good to waste a day? On me?"
„Absolutely"
After that, Tifa informs us that all the children are asleep, I take Kathy from the couch and carry her home. It feels good, to know that I can keep her safe, take care of her. Maybe I could even become a mother-figure for her? Yes, I want that, and I think that I could maybe believe it so that it could come true.
Almost.
Kathy is sleeping peacefully in my arms, I feel some kind of… strange connection between us. Asmost as if I wanted to be close to her, like a mother is to her children, yet still… My past, that is what makes it impossible, all my lives I spent as a killer, a murderer, mere drug addict who doesn't know her own limits. I want to change that, take care of Kathy… but I am afraid that my actions will lead to something terrible, that she'll get hurt because of me. I don't want it… I don't want it… I try not to cry as I see her little smile, peaceful expressions. I finally reach home, not just an ordinary house, this is my home. Oh, how long… I can't recall what was the last time I had a home, in any of my lives. Or even a hometown… But it doesn't matter now, I'm here, in Midgar, and this is my home. It belongs to all of us, Me, Kathy, Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo. Nothing will ever change this from now on.
Yazoo opens the door and smiles politely, then takes a closer look at me.
„Is that… SOLDIER First Class uniform!?"
I take a glance at my new outfit.
„Yeah" I say „I guess. I got it from the guy who found me after I lost conscioussness"
„What, wait, go in and tell me about it!"
I enter the house and head to Kathy's bedroom, then put her in her bed and cover her with a blanket. She is a glimmer of hope in this life for me. And it's only been like two days…
I sit with Yazoo in the living room and we talk for a while, he is really nice and polite. I like spending time with him, really. He asked me for everything from the moment I and Kathy went out for a walk.
„I was just… worried about you. I wanted to come out and look for you but… I just know I couldn't"
„Why?" I ask.
„Well, since you live here like we do, you surely know about Geostigma. Some people blame Mother for this illness… And it is not like that, not at all… Mother… she would make everything alright!"
I connect the facts once again, Tifa said that they were Sephiroth's cells… ah, right, they were Sephiroth's brothers. It makes sense… Yazoo continuead to talk, sharing his knowledge with me. How much one can learn by just listening to others… I learned that the people in Midgar hate them because they wanted the people who were suffering because of Geostigma to join thr Reunion with Mother. In Yazoo's opinion, she could even cure people of this illness, that people's hatred towards Mother caused more harm than Geostigma itself, that even if Mother's cells had something to do with this illness it was the hatred in people's hearts that created the illness. They loathed Mother, and her pain caused the illness. That's what Yazoo believed.
And I wanted to believe it as well, it... made sense.
„So, the Reunion failed, hm? But your Mother…"
„She is alive. People… they were fools for thinking that they could kill Mother that easily!" he almost shouted, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
„I know she is alive… And if you are too weak, I'll even carry the Reunion out for you. We'll do this together, Yazoo. I'm not leaving you, and you stay with me. You, Kadaj, Loz… You hear me?"
Suddenly another voice joined in „Yes, we hear you. But don't you dare thinking that you can allure us into some false alliance!"
Kadaj.
„I am willing to help you. Trust me."
„Why would we? Why should we? What do you want in exchange?"
„I trust you. And Mother. I want to join the Reunion, that's all."
He death glares at me and walks away, towards where the head is. What is he after, really? I saved him, I didn't destroy his Mother's head, even though I could. All I want is to be close to them, to make them happy, to take care of Kathy. If Mother can make everything alright, I want to live in this world. I want everythin to be alright.
It is really late, soon I'll call it early. But I don't feel like I need sleep now, just take one Eden pill and swallow it with disgust on my face
All I could come up with was reading LOVELESS, and, strangely, as I read on, I realized it is as familiar as that bandaged sword and Banora White Juice. What the hell?
I finished this not very long book as sun began to rise.
Even though I felt Eden's influence, I heard the Monster's voice.
„The history… repeats again…"
I saw the green light, surrounding me once again, like in the first dream I had in this house, I saw some figures, kinda familliar.
I didn't know what to do, pain was too much.
„Sin… Sin, wake up!"
No.
„Sin…"
Once again I saw the flames. It was not my home planet that was burning. It looked like a small village rather. I saw the Monster standing there. Only a small wall of flames was seperating us, she was smiling, holding Fallaire in her hand.
„You are my greatest sin… my dishonor"
„Shut up! I'm warning you…"
She didn't even move. I hated her, hated her so much… I wanted to kill her, I knew we were standinf in a scene of much tragedy, I was the reason. She was only the one who had this reason.
„Why do you do this …" then she called my… real name „The history repeats itself over and over again, all because of you. You could not even kill him"
Then I saw a face of a man… so familiar, slightly messy auburn hair, pride in his eyes, and the smile only he could make.
„Sin!"
„This is your last chance… Destroy her"
Now the head of the creature appeared before my eyes. There was someone with long silver hair and a Katana by his side. Sephiroth.
„Annihilate him. Before it is too late"
She showed me the triplets.
„Sin, dammit!"
„And regain what was once yours"
The last picture was shocking but somehow… relieving. I saw my own dead body, slight smile on my features… There was no rebirth, no struggle. Not even a bit of Eden left in that body.
Beautiful… but I didn't know the cost… I destroyed so many worlds, lost so many loved ones, fellow soldiers, protégés and friends. The price of death… it was too high. I could never pay it, so my penance continued. I will die and be re-born until I atone for the sin of Immortality. I don't want to take anything for granted, I don't want to be Monster's lapdog.
„Go fuck yourself" I answer her, as the green life envelops me. I see Mother, as the triplets call her and smile. I am not the Monster's slave. I am…
„Sin!" someone shakes me, and the beautiful scene disappears. „Sin!"
I open my eyes to see Kadaj.
„What?" I see the living room, all covered in blood, Loz is holding Kathy in his arms.
In my hand… a black feather…