There were lots of passionate responses to the last chapter and quite a few opposing opinions. It's always great to read different perspectives on how the characters are being interpreted in this story.
However, I would like to address some of the consensus that thought Michonne was stupid for trusting Mike. From Michonne's perspective Mike has for the most part been a good friend. She does not know what the audience knows about his outrageous behavior towards Rick. With their history, maybe he wasn't the best person from whom she should've accepted help, but she was in complete shock after learning she was pregnant. Mike was there. She's known him for years and as far as we know he has always shown himself to be genuinely supportive, which is why she allowed him, albeit reluctantly, to help her.
All that said, thank you all for reading and reviewing, most especially those who continue to be invested in this journey despite what has been a challenging few chapters for Rick and Michonne. I really appreciate the support.
Now, on with the story...
Chapter Twenty-one
Michonne finished up her conference call, then spent 20 minutes updating the project notes, before sending a copy to the client and her boss. She was about to continue on with other work that needed to get done when Sasha appeared in the doorway of her home office, giving her the side eye. She asked her friend to give her five more minutes, that there was one more email she needed to send, then she'd join her in the kitchen for dinner.
Sasha had wanted to protest; Michonne knew by the look on her friend's face, but instead she reluctantly accepted her reply then retreated from the doorway. It had been a strange 8-days since Michonne had learned of her situation. After her visit to the hospital, Mike had taken her home and had attempted to stay, to be an ear for her to air her troubles or to just take care of her, but she hadn't allowed it. She'd thanked him again for his help, made him leave and had continued to keep him at bay on the numerous occasions he'd called or asked to come by, wanting to make sure she was alright. She knew he still loved her and appreciated his concern, but she didn't want to give him the impression that there was a chance for them to reconcile by granting him full access to her life again.
After a few days, he'd gotten the point and backed off. However, he'd still sent a prepared meal basket from Harry and David's, which she'd barely eaten due to, at the time, persistent nausea, and a basket of fresh fruit. He'd also kept his promise. Keeping secret her condition and spreading the word, when asked, that she'd fainted due to a terrible case of the flu and had been at home recovering. She'd done her part as well. Acting quickly before news got back to her office and worse her boss about her being taken by ambulance from a client site to the emergency room. She'd called her boss on the way home from the hospital, and told the woman what had happened and her diagnosis - that she had the flu. She later provided her with a note she'd gotten from the ER doctor stating that she needed to be out of the office for the next several days.
Her boss hadn't been thrilled with the news, who would be? But she understood the situation couldn't be helped. As a result, the woman had temporarily taken some of her workload, which included her planned trip to Seattle. Michonne had also regrettably cancelled her interview with the executives at the firm in New York, again citing the flu. Thankfully they were completely understanding as well and had already rescheduled the meeting for early December.
From there, she'd followed the ER doctor's orders and got an appointment with her OBGYN. Her OB had confirmed that she did have a subchorionic hemorrhage and had also stated that she should probably be on bedrest for several weeks, which Michonne had vehemently rejected, citing her work and life responsibilities. However, the doctor had clarified her statement, saying that bedrest didn't mean she needed to remain flat on her back for the next few weeks, but that instead she needed to significantly reduce her activities. The doctor had recommended she stay off her feet for the first week as a precaution. She should then come in for a follow up appointment to monitor her healing. If the hemorrhage looked to have improved, resulting in the pain completely abating and minimal bleeding, she could return to work the following week. But only if she was working on a reduced schedule, with limited time on her feet.
Michonne had accepted that recommendation with relief and had spent the first five days completely off her feet, getting up to do nothing except to shower, go to the restroom, pull some files from her office and grab something to eat out the fridge, when she could stand food. She'd also informed Sasha and Bob of her predicament. They'd been helpful in getting her car back to the condo from Mike's office building and were the only friends she trusted to keep what she was dealing with quiet. Sasha had been shocked, because Michonne was always so careful not to end up in a situation like this. Nevertheless, she'd quickly gotten past the unexpected news and immediately jumped into support mode. Since learning about the pregnancy, she'd stopped by the condo nearly every day to bring her food so she wouldn't have to be on her feet cooking and to just keep her company.
They hadn't talked much about the situation because Michonne wasn't yet ready to have a deep conversation with anyone about it, not even one of her closest friends. For she was still having difficulty accepting the situation herself, and despite her bedrest had distracted herself with work, offline at first – mostly reviewing her projects, researching potentially new clients and adding ideas to her existing campaigns, in between sleeping which now always seemed to be welcomed, before she'd returned to nearly full-time hours the past three days, now not only working on projects and courting potential clients, but managing her work emails and taking some conference calls. Work had been exactly the medicine she needed to keep her from focusing on her situation and going stir crazy from being confined to her condo.
Furthermore, the bed rest had seemed to help tremendously with the issues she'd been having. The bleeding and cramps had nearly completely abated, even her nausea was now confined to the mornings and not as severe. Thus she planned to return to the office on Monday. She had an appointment the following day, with Dr. Robinson, her OB, to see if she was cleared to return to work, but viewed it as a formality. With her feeling mostly like herself again, she saw no reason to delay getting back to her life. Yet and still, the question she'd been avoiding still remained. How she was going to handle this situation. She wouldn't be able to hide what was happening forever. She knew. But would she have to? She'd asked herself.
The truth of the matter was this was the worst time for a baby. This was not the plan she had for her life, to be pregnant and alone. She did have options. But what about Rick? No matter what, he deserved to know what was going on. The thought nagged in the back of her mind. Rick, who she'd somewhat avoided these past few days due to what she was not yet ready to deal with. Strangely, he'd been worried about her. For he'd left a couple of voicemails stating as much and asked her to call him.
He had also text, inquiring to see if she was ok. There had been an urgency to all of his messages, almost as if he could sense that she had a situation that was deeply connected to him, which touched her, yet unnerved her. She had responded to his requests and called, but each time his phone had thankfully gone straight to voicemail. If he'd picked up, she had no idea what she would've said and didn't know if she could've kept what was happening to herself.
Leaving him a voicemail had been painful in that she wanted to talk to him, to just see how he'd been and ached to tell him of her situation, their situation, but another part of her was deeply relieved at not being tested and inevitably broken by his presence of warmth and passion. Thus, she'd left him a voice message with ease, giving him what he wanted and she needed, telling him that she was fine, but had been extremely busy with work. She'd even followed up her voice messages by responding to his texts, expressing the same thing. However, that still hadn't satisfied his inquiries. For he'd followed up her voicemail and texts, with a voicemail and texts of his own, asking her to call him, no matter how early or late, that he just wanted to speak to her, to "hear" her.
It had broken her heart. Tortured her deep, fanned the flames of yearning for him within, but she couldn't respond. She couldn't speak to him, not yet. She wasn't ready. Why? She didn't know. Or maybe she did but like everything lately that was related to Rick she was avoiding it. Michonne drew a deep breath, pushing the heavy thoughts from her mind, then finally logged out of her work VPN. Sighing at the mental exhaustion that was work, yet exhilaration at the exciting challenges it brought. She then left her office, and made her way to the kitchen to join Sasha, who was finishing up what smelled like a delicious pot of pasta with turkey balls and sauce.
"How are you feeling?" Sasha asked briefly looking up from the pot she was tending to on the stove as Michonne walked into the kitchen. "You know you shouldn't be walking around, or working. You should be resting."
"I'm better. You know this." Michonne replied, reminding her friend about her symptoms that had significantly decreased.
"The symptoms may be better, but that still doesn't mean you've healed." Sasha countered. "So you should be taking it easy."
"The food smells good." Michonne declared, taking a seat at the large marble island, deliberately changing the subject cause she had no desire to get into a debate with Sasha about this again.
"I know your stomach is still a little sensitive, but I thought I'd try something a little heavier so you can add back some weight." She replied, to Michonne's relief accepting the change of subject. "It'll be good for the baby." She added, making her feel uncomfortable. "You still planning to return to the office on Monday?"
"Yeah." Michonne confirmed. "There's so much I need to get done before Thanksgiving."
"Have you made an appointment with Dr. Robinson so she can clear you to return to work?" Sasha questioned with concern.
"I have an appointment with her tomorrow." She replied, inciting a frustrated look from her friend.
"So you plan to return to work even though Dr. Robinson has yet to clear you?" Sasha deduced with dismay as she sat a bowl of pasta on the vast island before her. "Chonne you can't do this." She then said.
"Do what? I'm seeing Dr. Robinson tomorrow. She will clear me to return to work and if she doesn't, well I'll deal with it."
"You know what I'm talking about."
"Can we not talk about this?" Michonne strongly requested as she used the nearby wooden utensils to gather a heap of pasta and put it on her plate.
"No. We can't not talk about this. You can't keep avoiding this situation." Sasha pushed.
"I'm not avoiding this…"
"You are!" Her friend interjected with frustration. "Chonne" She then sighed, her tone calmer. "You're working like nothing has happened. Telling your boss that you have the flu. You're not completely on bed rest like the doctor instructed." Sasha gently scolded. "You haven't told Rick. What are you doing? What is your plan? Because you can't go on like this."
"What are your talking about? I haven't left this apartment for 8 days, and while I've been here, I've hardly been on my feet." Michonne countered. "Furthermore you talk like I've been 'going on like this' for weeks." She continued. "I just found out I'm…I just found out about my condition a few days ago. I'm still processing."
"Chonne you're not processing. You can't even say what your "condition" is. You're in denial." Sasha stated with compassion, the realization hitting Michonne hard, unleashing the full gravity of the situation upon her. Michonne sighed and sat back in her chair, while closing her eyes and bringing her hand to her face, suddenly feeling a deep sense of anxiety and strangely tears, which she swallowed back with strength, then spoke…
"You're right." She shakily admitted. "I've…been in denial." She said. "I'm…pregnant." She then stated aloud, the truth being expressed on her tongue nearly making her ill with panic. "I'm pregnant." She forced herself to say again. "I just feel like I really fucked up, and I never fuck up. You know this." She said, now lifting her eyes to meet Sasha's empathetic gaze. "How did I let this happen?" She questioned in a rhetorical tone, but Sasha still answered…
"You didn't let anything happen. You were on the pill, and the antibiotics fucked you over. It happens."
"It wasn't just the antibiotics." Michonne cited. "I was so caught up in Rick, that the first night we slept together, we didn't use any protection, which could've prevented this all together."
"Well it happened." Sasha voiced with warmth.
"I know." Michonne sighed, closing her eyes once more. "I don't know what I'm going to do."
"Well the first thing you should do is tell Rick." Her friend vehemently suggested.
"That's not an option." Michonne instantly rejected, her eyes snapping open, to find Sasha's disapproving stare.
"Why not?"
"He's married, with a divorce nowhere in sight." She explained. "Besides, there's no need for him to know if…" She began, then ceased speaking.
"If what?" Sasha asked, when she discerned her implication. "Are you seriously thinking…"
"Sasha, this is not a good time for me to have a baby. In fact, this is the worst possible time." Michonne interjected. "I am in the middle of a huge transition at work, not to mention this once in a lifetime opportunity I could have with the firm in New York." She said. "Then there's Rick…" She uttered, then halted her response, shaking her head and dropping her eyes, thinking how much he meant to her, how much she wanted him, how humbling it was, when she looked beyond the poor timing of the situation, that she was carrying their child, her and Rick's child and honestly, nothing would make her happier if the situation were different, but it wasn't. "In an ideal world, we would be together, having planned this pregnancy and working through this as a couple." She continued, returning her eyes to Sasha. "But the world is not ideal. I am alone and pregnant with a child that I…don't want." She struggled to state.
"Chonne." Sasha sighed in sympathy.
"At least not right now." She clarified. "A child that I'm not emotionally ready for, and whose father has a life that's completely separate from me."
"You are the strongest person I know." Sasha seriously stated. "You're more than emotionally ready for a child and as far as Rick goes, from what you've told me he doesn't want a life separate from you." She firmly pointed out. "He wants you. If he knew you were pregnant…"
"I don't want him running back to me because I'm pregnant."
"He never left Chonne. He wanted to continue the relationship but you wanted to put things on hold." Sasha reminded her.
"And with good reason." Michonne defended. "His wife and son moved back in with him. He's still married."
"He is this baby's father. No matter his situation, no matter your choice, he needs to know what's going on."
"I know." Michonne conceded. "But I'm not telling him anything right now." She said. "Not until I figure out what I'm going to do."
"You want him back right?" Sasha questioned.
"Of course I do, but the way things are going right now, I don't know if that'll ever happen."
"What if it does happen?" Sasha played devil's advocate. "What if he sorts out the mess with his wife and you resume your relationship? What type of impact do you think this is going to have on your relationship if you never tell him about this pregnancy? If you do something…drastic without allowing him to be a part of that decision?"
"Sasha I never said I wasn't going to tell him." Michonne disputed, even as her heart ached with fear at the thought of this situation destroying a relationship, a future she might have with Rick. She loved her life. She loved the way it was with the challenging and exciting career and the freedom to go and do as she pleased without anything hindering that. And she loved every minute she'd spent with Rick, and the potential of a future with him, but having a child at this moment in her life went against everything she wanted for herself at this time, which she feared would completely conflict with Rick's desires if he knew. "I just can't tell him right now." She concluded with disquiet, due to the conflict raging with her.
"But if not now, when Chonne?" Sasha strongly queried. "Whatever choice you make about this pregnancy you'll have to make it soon. Rick needs to know as soon as possible, so that he can have time to process and you can make whatever choice together." She contended. Her views sensible and affecting and thus fracturing Michonne's resolve. "You know I'll stand by you no matter what, but I think you should tell him Chonne." She reiterated. "And I don't think you should wait."
"I'll tell him." Michonne sighed. "I'll tell him...tomorrow…" She quietly uttered as she closed her eyes and released a nervous and fearful breath, surprising her friend. "I'll tell him after my appointment with Dr. Robinson." She vowed.
Rick sat quiet and focused, waiting for Lori, waiting to do what he'd been wanting to do for months, to force her to sign the divorce papers. After doing some evidence gathering and working with his attorney he'd finally managed to get everything in order and was ready to have the conversation with Lori that he should've had months ago. The conversation that would free him to move on, to pursue what he wanted, which was Michonne, if she'd still have him. He thought with hurt and a hint of uncertainty. His mind drifting to his brief exchange with Mike, his anger rising at what the man had said. Rick knew that Mike was full of shit, that he was trying with his lies to get him to give up on Michonne, but it still didn't stop him from wondering about the situation. What had happened to bring about an opportunity for him to answer Michonne's phone and feel comfortable enough to imply something was happening between them, to not fear the truth getting back to her about what was said? Rick couldn't imagine what had precipitated such a situation. Whatever had happened he couldn't believe that Michonne was back with Mike. She'd told him that she couldn't wait with him, but she would wait for him, and he believed her.
Nonetheless Mike had answered her phone, claiming that they were back together and now she seemed to be avoiding him. For he'd been texting and calling her for days - leaving her voice messages. And though she'd answered, her responses had been extremely vague, disengaging, like she was purposely pulling away. Rick's heart hurt at the thought, the possibility that his time was running out, that he was losing her. She had every right to shut him out considering Lori had moved into his home and as far as she knew there had been no movement with his divorce. Still, he felt like there was something more to her actions, like something was off.
He still felt this powerful need to speak with her, to see her, to make sure she was alright, which was all the more reason for him to end this mess with Lori tonight. He thought with determination. He couldn't pursue what was happening with Michonne, get her to renew their relationship until he could state to her that he'd legally severed his marriage to Lori. Anything less than that would be unfair, not only to her, to them, but any chance they'd have at a relationship that was uninhibited. The opening front door drew Rick from his thoughts, alerting him to Lori's arrival. Seconds later he heard her enter the house and called for him and Carl. Rick immediately responded, stepping into the small foyer to let her know that he was in the living room and asked that she join him.
"Where's Carl?" She asked, following him into the room.
"He's at Morgan's. He's doing a sleepover with Duane." Rick replied, recalling how he'd spoken with their son earlier that evening about what he planned to do. Carl wasn't ready for their marriage to be over. He'd never be ready, for they were his parents and had been together as long as he could remember, but he understood why this had to happen and that there was no chance of reconciliation.
"On a school night?" Lori queried disapprovingly as she lightly tossed her bag on the couch then turned to face him. "I didn't agree to that."
"I didn't want him here for this discussion." Rick seriously answered.
"What discussion?"
"About you moving out." He stated.
"What are you talking about?" Lori asked, her tone instantly becoming hostile as she folded her arms across her chest.
"This isn't working anymore." Rick declared. "It never worked, and its time for it to end."
"Why are you doing this?" Lori questioned with exasperation. "Is this about the fight between you and Shane?" She asked, reminding him of what had been a terrible mistake, engaging Shane in a physical altercation, which had led to his former friend attempting to pull his gun and them both being suspended with pay until an investigation could be completed on what had happened. "Or is it about that woman, Miconne in Atlanta?" She added the inquiry with displeasure.
"It's about everything." He replied, ignoring her attempt to get a rise out of him about Michonne, to get some idea as to where his head was with regards to the woman he was in part doing this all for. "Everything that's wrong with my life and this situation." He said.
"Your life?" She scoffed. "What about my life? And Carl's life? Where do you think we're going to go?"
"I don't care where you go." Rick frankly replied. "But Carl is staying here."
"What?!" Lori exclaimed with shock.
"You heard me. Carl is staying here with me." He uttered again.
"You don't really think I'm going to agree to that?"
"I can and you will, agree to that." Rick firmly stated. "See I know about you and Shane. I know that you've done more than kiss and that you have I guess, a relationship now." He said, causing Lori to go white as a sheet and deeply breathed with fear in her eyes.
"I don't know what you're tal…"
"Don't! Enough with the lies Lori! Just admit it. You've been fucking Shane." He exclaimed with frustration, his tone revealing his intolerance for bullshit.
"Alright! I was…fucking Shane!" She yelled. "But it is over now. It was over the moment I moved in here with Carl." She claimed "Because I wanted a chance to rebuild our marriage."
"You still don't get it do you…"
"I get it." Lori strongly interrupted, Rick's scornful response. "We've both made mistakes. We've both had our indiscretions with others, but I don't care about that, now it's time for us to come back together if for nothing else but to make a better life for our son." She argued. "I know you don't love me, but I want another chance for Carl. Love can be recaptured later."
"Lori there is no we." Rick countered. "This, is over."
"No it's not." She sharply rejected. "I cannot do this by myself! Everything is gone! The insurance won't pay the claim because the fire was ruled an arson. I have nothing! I need you!"
"You don't need me." Rick severely asserted. "Our son needs me. And I will be there for him. I will always be there for him." He said. "But we, me and you, will not be together."
"I'm not letting this go." Lori angrily resisted. "I will drag this divorce out as long as I possibly can." She threatened. "By the time I'm done, that woman in Atlanta will be on to a life without you."
"That's what this is really about isn't it?" He retorted. "Stifling any happiness I might have outside of you?" He said. "But I won't let that happen. If you attempt to drag this out, I will have no choice but to tell your father know about your indiscretions with Shane." He warned, knowing that if her father learned that she was "cheating" on him with his "best friend" he'd stopped funding her divorce lawyer immediately.
"You have no proof of that."
"I have the text messages."
"What are you talking about?" Lori shakily question.
"You know what I'm talking about." Rick proclaimed, holding her stunned gaze. "You texting Shane numerous times a day so that you could plan your late afternoon rendezvous in the park or how he was going to sneak into the house after Carl was asleep. Then there were the texts about how you couldn't wait to...well I don't have to paint a picture for you. You know the messages that were exchanged, how explicit they were."
"You went through my phone?!" Lori exclaimed with embarrassment and ire.
"It sucks doesn't it?" Rick jabbed, thinking how she'd callously done the same thing, going through his phone months earlier.
"You can't do this." She seethed.
"I will do this." Rick staunchly vowed as he walked to the nearby table and retrieved the papers from the drawer, then turned back to Lori. "I had my lawyer draw up new papers giving me full custody of Carl." He said as he handed her the documents that she reluctantly received with indignant consternation. "But you're welcome to see him at any time." He added.
"I'll never sign this. I'll never let you take my son." She tightly declared after briefly scanning over the papers.
"And I won't let you continuously expose him to a man who you know he fears, a man who is obsessed with you and him."
"Shane is out of my life!"
"I don't believe you." Rick heatedly disagreed, thinking of how she'd lied about her interactions with him in the past, just weeks ago, and ignored his warning about Carl's fear of him. Even though Shane was now strangely MIA, supposedly visiting family out of town while waiting on the results of the investigation, Rick didn't trust that she wasn't still engaging him. In fact, he wondered if the man was really out of town. The hatred and fury Shane had shown during their fight wasn't something that would disappear overnight. As a result, Rick had continued to watch his own back and keep a close eye on Carl in an effort to be prudent in the event that Shane pulled another dangerous act of vengeance.
"I won't sign this." Lori furiously vowed once more.
"Well then your father and everyone else will learn about your relationship with Shane and those…explicit texts that were exchanged."
"You wouldn't dare. You wouldn't ruin my career. Destroy Ca..."
"You think I want to do this?!" Rick impatiently interjected. "But I've been more than patient with you, and I'm out of patience." He said. "I want you out of this house by tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?!" Lori gasped in horror, tears of outrage in her eyes.
"And I want the divorce papers signed before you leave." He continued, undeterred by her piqued response.
"You can't do this!"
"I'm staying the night at a hotel. When I return tomorrow I expect you gone." He said. "You can leave the signed papers on the table in the foyer." He directed, then turned and left the room, leaving Lori fuming with devastation.