Sorry, it's been awhile since I've post but here I am I'm back!
bookwormlady, nertooold54, horseninja, SouthunLady, Pacicos (I know what you mean about this season, but give it a chance, it'll take time just like in fan fic land but it will get better), corgimom, Tango Mike Charlie, KeepBreathing3 (yeah the squint squad would be in to visit their FBI Agnet in future chapters), wazo29 (lol), mendenbar (yup lucky for us DB decided to stay around for more chapters), aracely6, luckywynner86, MMWillow13, Mezzo187 (sorry Booth is seriously injured, but we'll deal with that in later chapters), Ger, thank you all for your reviews.
It was happening again. The same flash of light and loud explosion. His bloodied and battered body, Private Strickland's dead body, staring lifelessly ahead. He turned his head expecting to see Corporal Garcia dying. The sight before his eyes terrified him and he opened his mouth to scream a soundless no! It wasn't Corporal Garcia lying to his left. It was his Bones. She wasn't yelling at him to get help like Garcia had. Instead she lay there wordlessly staring back into his eyes.
Her face looked sad, as if resigned to her fate of death. Booth looked with horror at the gory sight beside him. Blood from where her arm should have been connected to her body continued to flow like a gushing river from her shoulder where it had been blown off. He had to do something, he couldn't let her die. The ringing in his ears never let up but he had to get to her. He stretched toward her, every movement of his causing him agony. She was out of reach and all he knew was that he had to get to her.
He looked at the two stumps that used to be his legs, and his abdomen that had been split open. Gritting his teeth he rolled onto his stomach. The pain from his movements were so intense, he had to fight passing out. Slowly inch by inch, he dragged himself toward her.
…
Brennan had battled internally with herself. Should she stay or go? But she had given him her word. She would stay. Even if he chose Hannah. He was still in a critical condition and she wanted to be near. So she wandered to the coffee machine and bought herself a cup of tasteless coffee. She had sat in the waiting room of the Intensive Care Unit, sipping her coffee, pondering her fate.
All too quickly she saw Hannah approach. Brennan, suddenly feeling self-conscious, stood up. She felt her stomach knot as Hannah stopped in front of her.
"It's you, it's always been you."
At first Brennan couldn't comprehend Hannah's words. But then her mind quickly figured out what Hannah had meant and her heart leapt. She wasn't sure what would be an appropriate response, so she tried to think what she would want Hannah to say if their roles were reversed. She knew she would have wanted to be assured that Booth would be well taken care of.
"I'll take good care of him."
"Yeah. I figured. I gotta go."
And with that Hannah walked into a waiting elevator, disappearing from view as the doors closed.
Brennan sank back down onto the chair with relief. She contemplated with more depth what Hannah's words had meant. It was obvious Booth had rejected Hannah's offer to get back together, but what else had been said? Hannah's words seemed to suggest that Booth had wanted to be with her instead.
It then occurred to Brennan that Booth had been alone for awhile now, and she worried he would wake up alone. She poured away her half-drank coffee, then headed for the bathroom before making her way back to Booth's room.
She was filled with a sense of alarm as she approached Booth's room. The sliding door to his room was now closed but Brennan could see the activity inside through the glass. She recognized Dr Casey with another doctor who was scribbling furiously on Booth's chart. On the other side of the bed Veronica was busy injecting something into one of his IV lines.
When she was done Veronica looked up, noticing Brennan there. She shook her head slightly and Brennan wasn't sure if that meant she couldn't go in yet or that Booth had taken a turn for the worst. She fought the urge to rush inside the room, but waited with her hand pressed to the glass door, silently urging him to be ok.
A few moments later Dr Casey and the other doctor exited the room. He turned to Brennan.
"His monitors started beeping like crazy a couple of minutes ago. His blood pressure went up, his heart rate was irregular and he was thrashing about. We had to restrain him. We were afraid he might hurt himself. We drew some blood, we'd know more when the results are back."
"Is there a reason for all this happening?"
"We're not sure, it could be an infection, the effects of his concussion or an adverse reaction to medications. We'll be keeping a close eye on him, don't worry."
"Thanks."
As Dr Casey left and Veronica came to Brennan.
"He'll be ok. This is the ICU afterall. He has to give us some excitement."
"Booth did have an adverse effect to the anesthesia when he had his brain surgery. He was in a coma for four days."
"It could be a whole lot of reasons, but I think it's got a little something to do with you leaving and that blonde woman coming to visit him."
It didn't sound logical. But a part of her wanted to believe it. Whatever the reason, the constant beeping of the monitors around Booth bothered her greatly and she wanted to be by his side.
"Can I stay with him?"
"Sure. He's heavily medicated but rousable. He should be able to hear you." Veronica patted her arm. "He'll be fine."
Brennan nodded her thanks. She entered Booth's room. Thoughts of losing him assaulted her mind again and she felt tears threaten to fall. She stood beside him, stroking his cheek with her hand.
"Booth. Hey. It's ok. Everything's going to be ok. I'm here now."
…
Booth kept trying to close the distance between himself and Brennan but no matter how hard he tried she was always out of reach. The pain was excruciating and he wanted to give up. Then he felt it, a familiar touch, like a gentle breeze caressing his face. Then his nostrils filled with her scent again. Lavender.
He looked up at her and realized that the ringing in his ears had stopped and he could now hear her.
"Booth. Hey. It's ok. Everything's going to be ok. I'm here now."
How could she say that as she lay there bleeding to death?
He watched as her mouth curved into a smile. Then she slowly vanished from his sight.
"No. Bones don't go."
…
"No. Bones don't go."
His voice was weak but Brennan heard the words.
"I'm not going anywhere Booth. I'm right here. Open you eyes. I'm right here."
She shook him ever so gently and his eyes fluttered open.
"Bones." He groaned. Tears escaped from his eyes as they opened. "You're…"
"I'm here."
"But you were…"
"I'm here."
"You're ok." Booth now feeling more awake that he could see for himself that she was ok. "I thought… I thought…"
"It was only a dream."
"Yeah." Booth closed his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Was so real."
"It was just a bad dream."
"I thought I'd lost you." He tried to lift his hand to touch her, only to realize his hands were in restraints.
"What the hell?"
"You were very agitated, they were afraid you'd hurt yourself."
"I thought you were dying. I couldn't save you."
"It was only a dream." She felt as if it was him waking from his coma dream after his brain surgery all over again.
She took his hand in his. "I'll ask if they can remove these."
Booth nodded wincing.
"Are you in pain?"
"Yeah."
"I can give you an extra dose of morphine." Brennan took the remote into in her hand, wanting to push the button to deliver him an extra does of painkillers.
"Bones, wait." He looked at her, his eyes burning into hers. "I told Hannah… I told her… it was over between us. There's no way I'd be with her again."
"I know, she told me."
Booth wanted to tell her that it was her he wanted. Her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But he also didn't want her to be stuck with him. He hadn't gotten a chance to ask about the extent of his injuries yet but he knew it would be a long road to recovery to say the least.
"I can't do this right now."
"Yes you need your rest. When you get better – "
"No Bones, that's not what I meant. Just… you gotta go ok?"
"But you just told me not to leave."
"No that was in my dream. I'm gonna be ok here, by myself."
"I'm not leaving you."
"Why? I mean look at me. I'm not who you used to know. I can't do this, can't be the man you deserve. You deserve so much more than me. I don't wanna be with Hannah but I can't be with you either. Do you understand Bones?"
Brennan shook her head, refusing to let him push her away when she knew he needed her the most. She felt the sharp pain in her metaphorical heart, realizing that this must have been what he had felt that night when she had rejected him.
"You asked me if I found anything in Maluku. Well I did. I did find the meaning to life. The meaning is you. I realized that I regretted my decision to say no when you asked for a chance, I wish now that I had said yes. I'm asking you for a chance now Booth, I want us to have that chance."
Booth couldn't believe his ears. He offered her a sad smile. It was such a wicked twist of fate. She was ready and wanted them to be together. That was what he had always wanted but that was then. Now he wasn't sure if he'd walk again, wasn't sure if he'd get his job at the FBI back, wasn't sure if he could be the man in her life that he wanted to be.
He shook his head, grimacing in pain and offering her a sad smile.
"I'm sorry Bones. I just can't."
"I'm not letting you do this Booth. I simply can't. I don't care if you can't walk or can't work with the FBI. Our partnership while very important to me, isn't as important as this. This, what we'd have together is going to be so much better. Isn't that what you've tried to make me believe?
"Bones, please. I can't let you get stuck with me." Booth groaned, partially from the pain wrecking his wounds, and partially from the pain in his heart that he felt from pushing her away. "Don't make this any harder than it already is."
"It doesn't have to be hard. You led me to believe that you wanted to be with me for the next 30, 40 or 50 years. Then you left and I found out about Hannah, and I had to wonder. But I'm not going to doubt. Hodgins once told me I have a lot of faith in you, and I've come to agree and I still have that faith in you. In us. You told me that you knew, right from the beginning. All I need to know is, do you still know?"
Booth was silent but he couldn't keep the one tear from escaping his eye.
Veronica chose that moment to interrupt.
"I'm sorry you two but Seeley, you really need to rest. Your blood pressure's going up." She nodded at the monitors showing Booth's blood pressure and heart rate. "You in any pain honey?"
"He is." Brennan replied before Booth could.
"The human body heals better if it isn't in too much pain." Veronica said.
Brennan nodded. She pushed the button to deliver Booth the extra dose of his morphine. He leaned in to press a light kiss to his forehead.
"I'll be here when you wake up. I'll wait for your answer."
Sorry for the little cliffy but I'm sure you all can make an educated guess as to what Booth will say. I wanted to show a change in the BB relationship, Brennan has to do some convincing now instead of Booth who's been doing so for the past five seasons.
Next chapter we find out more about Booth's injuries.