A/N: Yeah, I know, I took forever and a half to update. Sorry about that! I've been crazy busy this week, finishing up an online class and helping out with my high school's freshman orientation. School starts this Wednesday for me :/

Again, y'all are amazing for reading and reviewing! Every single comment puts a huge smile on my face

I've looked back on my previous chapters, and I have SO MANY MISTAKES! I'm thinking about taking a month off from writing and just editing all that I've already written, but we'll see…

This chapter was suggested EmberLafonte: PRANK WAR! If you guys have any suggestions for pranks they can pull, let me know ! :D

I do not own the Lunar Chronicles

~o0o~

Thorne's fake-blindness gag had been the last straw for Scarlet.

Sure, Cinder totally assaulted him with a variety of tools the moment she found out when she returned- especially when she saw the stash of Kai pictures he had bribed Iko with- but that wasn't enough. She thought he was about to light himself on fire, for star's sake!

It wasn't just that, though. The minute Scarlet got back on the Rampion after her long, horrifying stay on Luna she had been bombarded by prank after prank after prank… She had lost count after 39. Some were fairly trivial, like jumping out from behind the couch and screaming a random phrase (he would then proceed to laugh hysterically, regardless if the victim reacted or not). Others were more intense, like when he set off the Rampion's alarm system and yelled, "FIIIRE!"

Yeah. She was not amused. She realized it was a joke after she burst out of the bathroom, clad in nothing but a towel.

It wasn't until Scarlet bumped into Cress while aimlessly roaming around that the idea of revenge fully developed in her head. Sweet, innocent Cress was her key to getting inside information on her target.

"Spades, I'm starting to sound like a serial killer," Scarlet muttered.

Cress's eyes widened. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Hey, Cress, we haven't really hung out much, have we?" She attempted to flash her a warm smile, but it could have come across as more sinister than sweet. Cress didn't seem to notice, though, so she assumed it was a success.

"That's true…" Her tone was questioning, inviting Scarlet to continue with whatever was on her mind.

"So we should talk!"

Cress blinked. This clearly wasn't what she was expecting. "Talk?"

"Yeah! As friends!"

She still seemed skeptical. "Really? You don't need me to run some background checks on Lunar authorities or anything like that?"

Scarlet felt a pang in her chest. It really did feel like there was always either some form of chaos going on or endless piles of work to be done lately, and Cress really didn't get the proper introduction to the group that she deserved. Sure, she and Cinder hung out with her a few times, but their conversations almost always looped back to the war.

Either that, or they were so hopped up on sugar that they couldn't function properly, but that was a different story…

"Actually, I do need your help. But not in the way that you'd think."

Scarlet- after safely locking Cress and herself in her room- spilled her grand idea on finally getting revenge on Thorne and practically begged Cress to help her out. At first she was reluctant, which Scarlet expected. Everyone knew that her crush on Thorne was bigger than the girl herself (which actually wasn't saying that much).

Eventually Cress agreed to help, and even though she acted nervous, Scarlet didn't miss the glint of mischief in her eyes. Perhaps a revenge prank was just what they needed to get their minds off of everything.

"So what in particular freaks Thorne out?" Scarlet adjusted herself so her legs were crossed and her chin rested on her palm. "Something embarrassing would be nice, like a secret fear of clowns.

"Clowns?" Cress wrinkled her nose at the thought. "He hasn't said anything like that to me."

"But there has to be something. He talks to you the most, and I doubt he lets you get many words in when he's rambling off on whatever topic his most besotted with at the moment."

Cress cocked her head to the side, chewing on the inside of her cheek. "Well… he did say one thing…"

"What?" Scarlet leaned forward eagerly. Cress flushed, a look of betrayal crossing her features.

"He mentioned something about fainting in science class his freshman year." Her words were rushed, and she flinched when Scarlet doubled over in laughter.

"OH MY STARS THAT'S RICH!"

Cress allowed a smile to slip on her face. "Yeah, it's pretty funny. But I told him I wouldn't tell anyone…"

"Eh, whatever. Just tell him I forced the information out of you." She flashed Cress a devilish grin, and she giggled in response.

"Anyway, he was dissecting frogs when it happened."

"He's afraid of frogs?"

This time Cress full-out laughed. "No, he's squeamish about the cutting process, especially when removing limbs. But he seems to be fairly okay with blood."

Scarlet's forehead knotted as she thought. "Hmm… dissected body parts…" Like a slow shadow creeping across a room, a look of malice spread across her features. "Say, Cress, do you know if we have hot dogs?"

"What's a hot dog?"

Scarlet smirked in response. "You're about to find out."

~o0o~

"AHHHHH!"

Nothing like the shrill scream of a damsel in distress to wake you up in the morning.

Thorne bolted up at the sound, wrestling with the sheets before landing on the floor in a blanket burrito. It took another 30 seconds before he wiggled out of those and sprinted towards the sound of the scream.

Thorne couldn't help but be concerned whenever he heard these cries, even though the past few times had been busts. Iko nearly burst his eardrums when she discovered a rather large spider crawling around her room, and he still couldn't quite wrap his head around Cinder's fanfiction freakout. Cress was pretty calm throughout their time on the Rampion, though she nearly gave him a heart attack when her favorite net drama character died in a rather dramatic car crash. Thorne actually burst into her room wearing nothing but his Star Wars underpants, wielding his bedside table lamp.

Yeah, the force was not with him in that moment.

This time, fortunately, he was wearing a T-shirt along with his boxers when he scrambled toward the source of the scream, which happened to be the kitchen. The blackness of space did nothing to indicate the current time, but he guessed that it was about 7 in the morning.

He stumbled into the kitchen, freezing at the sight before him. There were eggs and potatoes sprawled out on the counter, as well as a pan heating on the stove. The only sign of the source of the scream was some faint moaning behind the counter and a few strands of red hair.

"Scarlet!" Thorne ducked behind the counter and took a sharp breathe. She was laying on her back, her forehead knotted in pain and her hair fanning out around her. She was clutching her hand, which was dripping with blood.

"Aces, Scarlet." Thorne gingerly sat her up against the counter, inspecting her hand. "Why couldn't you have just had a panic attack about T.V. stars like normal girls?"

She choked out a laugh, hissing in pain when he touched her hand.

"What happened?"

"I was chopping up potatoes for breakfast this morning, and I wasn't really paying attention..." she grimaced, unable to finish her statement.

"You weren't paying attention?" Thorne prodded.

She nodded. "Yeah, and I... I chopped off part of my pinky."

Thorne felt the blood drain from his face. He cleared his throat, awkwardly scratching his ear. "Uh... where is it?"

"Huh?"

"The, uh... finger section."

"I'm not sure... spades, my head is killing me!"

"You hit it when you fell?" Scarlet nodded numbly in response. Thorne gingerly ran his fingers on her scalp, searching for a bump or bruise. "You may have a concussion. We should call the others over here; I'm pretty sure Iko has medical information on her hard drive."

Using his arm for assistance, she unsteadily rose to her feet.

"Oh, there's my finger. "

Thorne suddenly felt unsteady himself. "W-where?"

"Here." She shoved the object in his mouth, blood and all.

The kitchen disappeared.

Scarlet was no longer beside him.

There was no longer a war.

Nothing existed

Except for

The freaking

Bloody

Finger

In

Is

Mouth.

And then there was nothing.

~o0o~

"Captain?"

"Hey, Thorne? You okay?"

"Guys, move your heads! I'm trying to record, here!"

Thorne fluttered his eyes open. A few faces swam in his vision, a particularly concerned one situated in the center. She was leaning down towards him, blonde locks framing her face like a halo.

"Are you an angel?" He murmered. Well, that's what he meant to say, but it came out as "Aryuh en enjeel?"

He slowly sat up, head fuzzy. His words were garbled because there was something in his mouth. But what was it…

His eyes widened. It all came rushing back to him.

With a less than manly scream, he ripped the finger out of his mouth and flung it across the room, shoving his head under the sink and rinsing off his tongue.

Scarlet was bursting with laughter now, tears forming in her eyes. "Spades, this is perfect! Iko, are you getting all of this?"

Iko grinned, nodding as she directed her camera over at the laughing redhead.

"It was a hotdog, Thorne," Cinder confirmed, fighting a smile when he bumped his head on the faucet while trying to escape from under it.

"And the blood was a mixture of jam and ketchup," Scarlet added.

"A hotdog? But your hand-" Thorne stopped himself, taking a sharp inhale of breath. "Your finger was cut off in Luna, and I'm an idiot," he deadpanned.

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

Thorne stormed over to Scarlet, who casually leaned against the table behind her. "Aw, don't get too mad, or you may faint again. The work my partner and I put will go to waste if you're unconscious during the aftermath."

He spluttered, scrambling for words like a person may scramble for footholds while falling off a cliff. "But y-y-you, and I mean, I thought you were hurt, and t-then you just shove it in my mouth… wait, who worked with you?" He glared accusingly at Iko, who raised her hands in defense.

"Hey, I'm just the recorder!"

"Then it must've been you!" Thorne dramatically waved his finger at Wolf, who remained impassive. "If you didn't know it was a prank then you would have had a panic attack and rush to Scarlet's rescue the moment she screamed!"

Wolf shrugged, as nonchalant as ever. "She told me about it beforehand, but I didn't help. I'm not really the pranking type."

Thorne scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air. "Well if it wasn't you two, then who was it? Kai's too much of a pansy to do anything like that, and Cinder isn't exactly the fun type."

Kai looked mildly offended, placing his hands on his hips. "I'll have you know that Torin and I pull pranks on each other all the time!

"Like what?" Thorne crossed his arms, challenging him.

"Well, once I filled his shoes with baby marshmallows, and that was pretty hilarious!" He chuckled for a moment before frowning. "He didn't wear those shoes that day, actually."

"And I can be fun!" Cinder interjected. "Iko, tell him I can be fun!"

Iko sucked in her cheeks, suddenly very interested in staring at the floor.

Thorne shook his head in disgust, wrapping an arm around Cress. "Aces, you guys are just awful. I feel like Cress is the only one I can trust on this entire freaking ship!"

Scarlet snorted. Cress squirmed.

"Um, Captain?"

Thorne turned to her. "Yes?"

"I was Scarlet's partner."

Thorne blinked once. Twice. "Um… what?"

"I was Scarlet's partner." She spoke with firmly and with confidence, but her eyes betrayed her nervous feelings. Thorne slowly retracted his arm from her, silently demanding an explanation. Cress released a breath and continued. "Scarlet wanted revenge for all the pranks you've been pulling, and I helped her by telling the frog-dissecting story. I thought it would be fun."

"Oh." The singly syllable sounded hollow. Cress stared at him, biting her lip. He stepped away from the group, looking out one of the windows with his hands in his pockets.

"Well you know what this means, then." He spoke in monotone.

"…What?" Scarlet sounded less sure of herself than she did when Thorne was coughing up hotdog earlier. Everyone else appeared to be just as uncomfortable.

Slowly, Thorne turned around, a mischievous glint lighting his eyes. "War. Consider yourselves the targets of my pranking mastery!"

~To be continued