A/N: Hey y'all! Prank War part 2 is finally here! I'm already about halfway through with the next road trip AU chapter, but I am swamped with homework this weekend and I have the ACT and am performing a competition play next weekend, so it may be a little while before that goes up. Hopefully it shouldn't be longer than a month.

I'd also like to eventually go back and edit all of these chapters. Whenever I reread them I catch a few grammatical errors, and the comments help point those out as well. I know it's super annoying to have to see those while reading a story, so I'll definitely do that at some point.

Thanks again for sticking with this story! I love going back and reading all of the reviews. Your kind comments always inspire me to keep updating

I do not own the Lunar Chronicles (if I did, there would definitely be a prank war)

~o0o~

Life was good on the Rampion. Cinder's revolution against Levana ultimately proved successful, landing her on the Lunar throne as the long lost Princess (and now queen) Selene. Most of the team had sustained fairly significant injuries, especially Cinder and Cress, but they were finally able to enjoy being around each other without worrying about getting shot out of space by enemies or strategizing ways to convince an entire planet to rebel against their ruler.

Yep, life was sweet.

While Winter and Jacin understandably decided to stay on Luna, the rest of the crew were taking one final trip as a team back to earth. Thorne, Cress, Scarlet, and Wolf were going to start their mission of distributing the Letumosis antidote while Cinder and Kai continued to work through the official paperwork for the Earthen and Lunar alliance. Iko insisted that she stay by Cinder during this entire process. Afterwards Cinder would be heading back to her home planet to restore order.

This was probably the last time they'd all be on the Rampion together.

It was bittersweet. The group couldn't sit down and have one conversation together without someone getting teary-eyed (and while Cinder and Iko technically couldn't cry they would sniffle every now and then). Eventually they all reached the point where they would just roam the halls of the ship, avoiding eye contact. It was as if they were simultaneously trying to preserve and forget their memories together.

Thorne, for one, was sick of it.

Once they landed on Earth they were headed straight for New Beijing. Thorne and the rest of the team in charge of spreading the antidote had to spend one week at the palace testing the serum and filling out papers before legally being able to go out and distribute it. That gave him one week to restore the chaos he had grown accustomed to before they went their separate ways for a little while. Sure, Scarlet would probably yell at him and Cinder may whack him with her wrench, but it would be better than the stupid sappy routine they had managed to fall into.

Thorne never forgot the "hot dog finger incident." Sure, he stopped mentioning how he planned to get revenge about a week afterwards, but that only ensured that his victims wouldn't see it coming when he unleashed his legendary pranking skills on them. And by "them," Thorne meant everyone but Wolf and Iko. Wolf made his dislike for pranking very clear from the get-go, even somehow convincing Scarlet to apologize to him for the joke. How he managed that he'll never know. Plus, the guy could beat him into a slimy pulp if he so desired, so it was best to stay on his good side.

Iko, on the other hand, loved pranks. Thorne was sure she'd be only too happy for him to prank her, giving her opportunity to exact revenge. In all honesty, he was terrified of Iko. According to Cinder, she once convinced Adri, a grown ass woman, that there was a monster living in her closet that would only leave after writing a list confessing all of her most embarrassing secrets.

Basically, she would prank the crap out of him. And Thorne preferred not to be humiliated in front of everyone he held dear.

While everyone else was out moping, he was devising his master plan. His first part only required a few buckets of paint…

~o0o~

MISSION 1: The Rampion's Latest Addition

VICTIM: Kai

Kai blinked his eyes open, a grin slowly crossing his features at the sunlight that streamed through his window. After weeks in Luna and a long trip in space, he was ecstatic to see some non-artificial light for once.

Stars, he loved the sun. Pun intended.

Gradually, he began to sit up, relaxing his muscles as he did so. When Scarlet announced that they'd be arriving on earth at four in the morning, Thorne insisted that they stay asleep inside the Rampion and enter the palace once they were fully awake. Kai, for one, was relieved. He hadn't had more than three decent nights of sleep in weeks. Even after they defeated Levana he was pacing in front of Cinder's hospital room or starting on the endless piles of paperwork they had to fill out for the alliance between Earth and Luna.

Kai also figured that Thorne's suggestion was secretly made because he wanted them to spend one more morning together on the ship. He prided himself on being a pretty good judge of character (it came with the job, really) and he knew Thorne was slightly embarrassed at showing his emotions, but he was going to miss all of them.

Kai smirked at the thought. The tough guy wasn't as tough as he thought.

Pulling on a decent change of clothes, he left his cramped quarters and headed towards the common area. Iko and Cress were the only others up. Cress handed him a cup of coffee with a smile that he would once describe as timid, but was more peaceful. He accepted it gratefully, taking a cautious sip. To his pleasure, it didn't singe off his taste buds.

"Cinder is still sleeping if you were wondering, and I think Captain is too," she told him, taking a sip from her own cup.

"Yeah, and Scarlet and Wolf won't be up for a long time. I don't know how you guys slept with all of the noise they made! It went on and on, but eventually they tired themselves out. They've gotta be exhausted!"

Kai choked on his drink while Cress squeaked. Iko glanced at both of them, confused.

"What's so shocking about the two of them having a long conversation?"

Kai blinked. "Oh. Conversation. That's exactly what I thought you meant."

"Oh my stars! Emperor, you have a dirty mind! And Cress!"

"I'm going to check on my muffins!" Cress bolted out of her seat, cheeks ablaze.

"And I'm going outside to get some air." He began to walk briskly, leaving the giggling android behind him. Just before he reached the door Thorne bolted past him, laughing hysterically.

"Morning Princess! Aces, it smells good in here!"

"Yeah, Cress is-" Kai whirled around, but Thorne had already disappeared. He sighed, straightening his shirt. "And it's emperor, not that you'd ever call me that," he muttered under his breath.

Shaking his head, he finally opened the door to the ship, fresh air washing over him and filling his lungs. He had to squint at first, but eventually his eyes adjusted to the sunlight and he was able to admire his country again. Beaming, he gazed out at his palace. It was exactly as it was before, only it appeared even grander compared to the cramped Rampion living quarters. Kai smiled at the sight, then glanced back over at the Rampion.

His smile dropped.

"THOOOOOOOOOOOOORNE!"

Within seconds Cinder, still clad in her pajamas, burst out of the ship with Thorne in tow. "What did he do?"

Kai was still staring slack-jawed at the monstrosity facing him, so he didn't notice Cinder's arrival soon enough. "Wait, don't look-"

"OH MY STARS!"

"…at the ship." Kai grimaced at his fiancé's horrified reaction while Thorne chuckled, still in Cinder's steely grip.

"Consider this revenge for painting over the naked lady."

Right where the portrait Thorne had previously painted once lay was a new one of the beloved Emperor. He was sprawled out in a provocative position, laying down with a hand on his hip and a leg kicking in the air. His face was painted realistically enough so you knew it was Kai, but it had a caricature smile and suggestive, waggling eyebrows.

Oh, and he was stark naked.

Once Cinder dared let her eyes look down there (she had to indulge her curiosity; after all, she was eventually getting married to the guy) she nearly released a scream of her own.

Thorne had given Kai cyborg junk.

To the Emperor's increased humiliation, the rest of the crew trailed out of the Rampion. Even the groggy Scarlet and Wolf showed up, rubbing their eyes.

"What did Thorne do this time," Scarlet yawned. She followed Cinder's gaze to the side of the ship. "Oh, shit. No wonder you were so against the Cyborg discrimination."

Thorne burst out laughing, falling out of Cinder's loosened grip and rolling on the floor. Kai reddened.

"No, that is not an accurate painting! Not that I have anything against anyone who would have metal- erm- genitals," Kai nervously continued, glancing over at Cinder, "but that is not accurate!"

"Yet it's very detailed," Iko mused. Nobody could tell, but she was using the camera lens in her retina to take several photos of the glorious mural. "When did you get naked for Thorne? Looks like Cress has some competition!" Iko let out a shriek of laughter and nudged the small girl next to her, who was covering her eyes and grimacing.

"This is even worse than when I accidentally landed on porn sites when I was eleven," she whimpered. "So. Much. Worse."

Kai almost looked offended. "Well, I mean, the crotch is terrifying, but he did my abs justice. If he gave me some pants it wouldn't be bad at all."

"Did you honestly just defend that thing?" Kai glanced sheepishly at Cinder, who was holding one hand up on the side of her face to block her view of the ship.

"Well, I mean, this can't be worse than accidentally discovering porn at eleven!"

Thorne, still recovering from his laugh attack, made his way over to his girlfriend. "Sorry you had to see that, damsel. And I'm sorry if this stirs up feelings of jealousy. If you would like I could paint over it with your own portrait."

Cress shot him a disturbed expression, Cinder grabbed her wrench, Scarlet fingered her gun, and even Wolf crossed his arms in a menacing manner.

"Easy, guys, easy! She would be fully clothed, of course! I'm not that guy anymore. But I have to say," he grinned, shuffling over and wrapping an arm around Kai, "this guy does things to me. After hours upon hours of begging, I finally allowed him to strip in front of me."

Kai released a noise that was a cross between a whine and a groan, shoving Thorne away and storming into the palace. Cinder followed, pausing only to say "You have three hours to paint over this or else you're dead!"

Thorne faced the remaining crew members. "Well, that was hilarious. So, Wolf, would you want to be my next-"

"Eyes off my man."

"-Okay cool I'll go inside now."

~o0o~

MISSION 2: Hole-y Moley! (Note: come up with a less lame name)

VICTIM: Scarlet

Scarlet slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it, immediately shimmying out of her clothing. She was already five minutes late to her meeting with the leaders of surrounding countries who hadn't yet signed the contracts to allow the distribution of the antidote, and she was currently wearing mud-soaked sweats from her tour in the palace gardens. After volunteering to water the plants, she and Wolf may have gotten carried away with the hoses.

Her meeting was supposed to be at 8:00, but a text from Kai in their group chat (yeah, that was still going on) revealed that it had been suddenly changed to 3:00 due to an unknown request. Thorne generously offered to meet her in a palace hallway and hand her a bag with a change of clothes.

Just as she unzipped the bag there was a soft knock at the bathroom door. She sighed.

"Occupied! Sorry!"

"As much as I know you'd like me to join you in there, I'm in a committed relationship now. Sorry sweetheart."

Scarlet rolled her eyes. "What are you doing back here? You already handed me my change of clothes. I don't have the seconds to waste fake laughing at your jokes, Thorne."

"Ouch. I was just wondering if you could toss me your dirty clothes. I thought we should go ahead and do a load of laundry while we're here."

"Really?"

"Nah, I just heard there's a collection of 500 different scented laundry detergents. I overheard one of the servants saying there was a money detergent! I mean he could've just been all talk-"

"Thorne. Just take the clothes."

Cracking the door slightly, she thrust one arm out, the dirty clothes balled in her fist.

"Thanks." He grabbed them out of her hands and started down the hallway, his feet clacking down the hallway with an upbeat rhythm.

Scarlet feverishly pulled out the change of clothing she had packed, brows furrowing. "What the hell…"

On top sat a white crop top with smiley faces on the chest and a pair of matching booty shorts. She growled.

"Oh my stars, he's going to make me go to my meeting dressed like that ancient hammer-licking celebrity!"

She sighed with relief when her hands found a nice black blouse and matching pair of slacks lying underneath. She held them up to the light.

"…Godammit."

~o0o~

Three minutes later she was marching towards the conference room, pushing down her rage to avoid ripping the door off its hinges. She entered the room.

The Earthen leaders were all conversing, talking idly and laughing amongst themselves. They didn't notice her entrance until she cleared her throat, pulling all eyes in her direction.

Jaws dropped. There were a few gasps. One European gentleman whistled, earning a sharp glare from the redhead.

"Let me make this clear," she started, her tone icy. "We are here to discuss the distribution of the Letumosis antidote. That is all. Do we all understand?"

They all mumbled in agreement, visibly shrinking back into their seats. She nodded.

"Alright then." She straightened her top, which had two holes cut out right where her, er, chestal muscles were. The white crop top covered everything, but it was far from professional, especially with the smiley faces peeking out. She had tried to turn the crop top inside out, but Thorne was thorough, drawing them on every side. Her hands were clenched in fists at her sides while she envisioned his throat in her grasp.

"We're going to keep this short and sweet. I have a friend to murder. Alright, do you have any grievances with the distribution documents?"

It was the shortest multinational document signing conducted in the past century. She convinced them all to agree in a record twenty five minutes, glaring whenever their eyes strayed downward and dismissing their concerns with a few harsh words. Perhaps the muttering of curses directed towards Thorne terrified them, but in less than a half hour they all signed, trembling in their seats as the glowering redhead reviewed the forms. She forced a smile in their direction.

"Thank you, gentlemen. You are dismissed." And with that she turned on her heel, giving them a nice view of the two holes on the back of her pants along with two more smiley faces.

~To be continued…