A/N: *smashes through wall* I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!
Life is crazy. I'm busy a lot. Yadda yadda yadda, you all know the excuses.
The texting chapters seem to be the favorites, so here's one that continues from the last one I posted! I am halfway through the next Road Trip AU chapter, so hopefully I'll be able to post that one before I leave for my 5 week camp!
WE HIT 200 REVIEWS! OH MY STARS! Thank you guys so much for continuing to support this fic even after all of this time! 3 3 3
ALSO if any of y'all have read Marissa Meyer's more recent book Heartless and want to DM me about it do not hesitate to do so! That book is INSANE.
Love you all to pieces! :D
I do not own the Lunar Chronicles!
Iko: Guys?
Iko: Helloooooo?
Iko: I swear to the moon if all of you got married without ONE of you asking me to be your maid of honor I'm going to loSE IT
Iko: ok but seriously though are you guys ok?
Jacin: Winter and I are on the Rampion but I think we're the only ones
Winter: Hello my blue-haired friend! :D
Iko: Where's everyone else?
Jacin: Not my responsibility
Iko: JACIN
Jacin: Ok ok I'll go out to look in a second.
Kai: Hey guys
Iko: OH MY STARS IT'S KAI
Winter: Hello Kai!
Kai: I have no idea where I am
Kai: Or what happened last night
Kai: Lunar liquor is really strong
Winter: Really? That root beer I drank didn't make me feel any different
Jacin: Describe your surroundings and I'll see if I can find you
Kai: Wait where's Cinder? Did she make it back to the Rampion okay?
Iko: She's not with you?
Kai: Why would she be with me?
Winter: You and my cousin had a dramatic love declaration and decided to go get married
Kai: WAIT WHAT
Kai: AM I MARRIED RIGHT NOW
Kai: IS CINDER OKAY
Kai: AHHHHH
Jacin: Calm down, your highness. Cinder is capable of taking care of herself. Just tell me where you are and I'll get you.
Kai: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN
Iko: JUST TELL US WHERE YOU ARE
Kai: Ugh okay fine
Kai: I fell asleep in a bookstore.
Iko: …
Winter: …
Jacin: …
Thorne: NEEEERDDDDD!
Iko: Thorne! Where are you?
Thorne: I'm on the rampion
Winter: I thought I checked all of the rooms…
Thorne: Correction
Thorne: I'm on TOP of the Rampion
Iko: *facepalm*
Jacin: Kai give me the name of the bookstore
Thorne: Awww Jacin aren't you happy to hear I'm okay? ;)
Jacin: Shut up
Kai: It's called Thrift Books
Thorne: Let me guess
Thorne: You fell asleep in the political section
Kai :…
Kai: yes
Thorne: BWAHAHAHAHA
Iko: Wait Thorne are you and Cress married?
Thorne: What? No
Thorne: Wait
Thorne: Are we?
Thorne: Okay I just asked her we're not
Winter: Awww, another spontaneous romantic action failed…
Kai: Cress is with you? Is she okay?
Cress: I'm okay
Iko: CRESS MY SMALL SWEET CINNAMON ROLL THANK THE STARS
Cress: Umm… thanks?
Jacin: How did you guys end up on the roof?
Cress: My memory is kind of blurry… I think we were going to get married, but then we got hungry and went back to the Rampion, but we couldn't open the door so we just stole a blanket from someone's clothesline and slept on the roof
Cress: Spades I feel really bad now
Cress: I don't know whose blanket we stole
Cress: It's really fuzzy though and I kinda want to keep it
Cinder: What happened last night? My head is killing me…
Kai: CINDER THANK THE STARS! ARE YOU OKAY?
Jacin: Where are you? I've almost got Kai and then we can go get you
Cinder: Not sure… I'm on the floor of some sort of building
Cinder: Oh my stars I'm in a quickie wedding place
Cinder: AND THE LADY SAYS I GOT MARRIED LAST NIGHT
Kai: WHAT
Winter: Awww so romantic :3
Thorne: TO WHO
Kai: *WHOM
Iko: THIS IS NO TIME FOR GRAMMAR KAI
Cinder: I DON'T KNOW
Iko: WHO CARES ABOUT THE GROOM WHO WAS THE MAID OF HONOR
Cinder: Wait the lady says there are pictures from the wedding
Cinder: OH MY FREAKING STARS I HAVE DONE A TERRIBLE THING
Kai: WHAT HAPPENED
Cinder: I MARRIED A HAMBURGER
Cress: …
Jacin: …
Kai: …
Thorne: …
Winter: Congratulations! I hope you have a happy life together!
Thorne: Wait a minute
Thorne: Does this mean that a hamburger
Thorne: a hamburger
Thorne: Is the king of Luna?
Winter: According to Lunar law, yes
Jacin: WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO
Cinder: wAIT ANOTHER MINUTE
Cinder: I ATE THE HAMBURGER LAST NIGHT
Thorne: WHAT
Winter: YOU ATE THE KING OF LUNA?!
Iko: REGICIDE! REGICIDE!
Kai: AHHH MY GIRLFRIEND'S A WIDOW TO A HAMBURGER
Cinder: Oh thank the stars, the lady said she had the proper papers to annul the marriage
Cinder: I just want to forget that last night happened
Thorne: I am NEVER letting this go
Thorne: In the span of a few hours you got married, ate your spouse, and then rudely decided to forget your love for it and annul the marriage
Thorne: This hamburger may be gone, but it will never be forgotten
Winter: RIP the king of Luna, Beef McPatty III
Jacin: I am never drinking with you guys ever again
Cinder: I hate you Thorne
Cinder: There is no way you didn't do anything completely humiliating last night
Iko: Well, Cress and Thorne ended up sleeping on the roof of the Rampion last night with a stolen blanket
Winter: Yes, they just entered the Rampion. I was a bit shocked to see Thorne in the nude, however
Jacin: wHAT
Cinder: THORNE
Iko: WHAT THE SPADES DID YOU DO TO THE PERFECT PRECIOUS CINAMMON ROLE THAT IS CRESS
Kai: THIS IS NOT OKAY
Thorne: Wait a sec there guys its not what you think
Cinder: YOU WOKE UP ON TOP OF THE RAMPION UNDER THE COVERS WITH CRESS AND YOU WERE NAKED
Cinder: WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO THINK
Thorne: I have underwear on!
Winter: Yes, they have a lovely floral pattern
Jacin: PUT SOME CLOTHES ON
Iko: WAIT IS CRESS NAKED TOO?! AHHHHHHHHHHH
Cress: THORNE DIDN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME
Cress: He took off his shirt, pants, socks, and shows and put them ON me
Cress: He also stole more clothing from the clothes line and put them on me as well
Cress: I have like 5 layers of clothing on
Cinder: … what
Kai: I'm relieved, but why…?
Thorne: I didn't want her to be cold
Jacin: …
Cinder: …
Kai: …
Iko: AWWWWWWWW
Winter: That is even more adorable than your excessively feminine underwear
Thorne: See? I promise I'm not some sleazy guy anymore!
Kai: Okay, so I wandered to a book store, Cinder married a hamburger, Cress and Thorne ended up on the roof… what happened to Wolf and Scarlet?
Iko: I had a lovely date with Kinney, by the way. In case anyone was wondering.
Cinder: Wait, where are you, Iko?
Iko: Well after a LOVELY evening I told him I had to go and hit some local dress shops
Iko: Keep in mind I thought I was about to be the maid of honor for four weddings. I needed to stock up on clothes.
Iko: WAIT DID SCARLET AND WOLF GET MARRIED CUZ THAT IS NOT OKAY WITH ME I PICKED THE PERFECT DRESS FOR THEIR WEDDING
Scarlet: Hey guys
Cinder: Scarlet! Thank the stars!
Cress: Are you okay?
Winter: Hello, Scarlet friend! I hope you and your large boyfriend are well!
Scarlet: Yeah about that…
Scarlet: Are any of you able to spare a couple thousand univs?
Kai: Ummm… what?
Iko: THAT BETTER NOT BE TO PAY FOR A WEDDING I WASN'T INVITED TO
Cinder: What happened?
Thorne: lol let me guess
Thorne: You guys went to an auction and accidentally bought an ancient pair of socks worn by the first Lunar king
Scarlet: no
Thorne: You guys murdered a crotchety old woman for angrily spritzing you with prune-scented perfume and you need to pay off the witness
Scarlet: NO
Wolf: We only have 10 minutes before our phones are taken away, so let's not waste time!
Cinder: Good Wolf is okay too!
Iko: Wait a minute
Iko: Why is your typing so good all of a sudden?
Scarlet: Z discovered voice control typing
Thorne: Thank the STARS
Jacin: Agreed. I was tired of trying to unscramble his gibberish
Wolf: You guys suck
Cress: I feel like we're getting off topic here…
Scarlet: We need the money to pay bail
Kai: …what did you guys do?
Thorne: ACES I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE MURDER
Scarlet: WE DIDN'T MURDER ANYBODY
Wolf: Except the tomatoes
Cinder: WHAT
Winter: May the tomato victims of Scarlet and Wolf's wrath rest in peace alongside the beautiful hamburger king
Scarlet: …okay, crazy
Wolf: We were on our way to get married when I got a craving for tomatoes
Wolf: We went into a grocery store and I just started shoving them down my pants as quickly as possible
Scarlet: And I beat up all of the employees who got in the way
Scarlet: But one of them called the police…
Thorne: You guys are practically Bonnie and Clyde
Scarlet: I know I can't hear you but I can feel the sarcasm in your text
Winter: How did the tomatoes meet their demise?
Wolf: That's the worst part
Wolf: So we were being arrested for theft and I thought that I at least had my tomatoes
Wolf: I reached into my pocket for one
Wolf: And they were COMPLETLEY DESTROYED
Wolf: THEY WERE NOTHING BUT KETCHUP
Winter: THE HORROR
Jacin: Alright, so now we have to swing by the local jail to pay bail for a couple of tomato junkies
Jacin: Great
Iko: So what did you and Winter do last night? ;)
Winter: Oh nothing much
Winter: We just got married
Cinder: WHAT
Cress: WHAT
Thorne: WHAT
Kai: WHAT
Scarlet: WHAT
Wolf: WHAT
Iko: HOW DARE YOU
Jacin: WAIT NO WE DIDN'T
Winter: Oops, I meant we got *Margaret's
Winter: Silly autocorrect
Winter: It was a lovely restaurant where we got food to-go, and then we just talked for a while
Winter: It was fun
Iko: Okay good
Iko: None of you can get married without inviting me, no matter how small the ceremony
Scarlet: Yes ma'am
Thorne: No one wants to suffer the wrath of an angry Iko
Iko: damn straight
Wolf: You guys are coming to get us, right?
Jacin: omw
Thorne: So what do you guys want to do tonight?
Thorne: Margaritas?
Cress: CAPTAIN NO
Iko: ARE YOU KIDDING ME
Cinder: THORNE
Winter: I'm down
Kai: YOU ARE INSANE
Scarlet: NOOOOO
Wolf: HAVEN'T ENOUGH LIVES BEEN SACRIFICED
Jacin: DEAR STARS NEVER AGAIN