The credits were rolling up the screen as Rayna nudged Deacon.
"Huh?" he said as he struggled to open his eyes and started to sit up from where he'd been laying on the couch.
"You missed the end," Rayna explained as she snuggled in next to him. "It was good. They found the dog."
"Huh," Deacon said again. "How much did a miss?"
Rayna nodded. "About an hour. But I wanted to see the end, and besides, you looked really comfortable there. So, you staying or going home?"
Deacon sighed. "I should probably go, but staying also sounds really nice."
Rayna laid her head on his shoulder. "Stay here. I like having you in my bed. Helps me sleep."
He looked down at her. "You make a good point."
Rayna's phone buzzed and she looked at it.
"Anything important?" Deacon asked.
"No...just…" Rayna started.
Deacon shifted next to her. "What's up."
"Oh, it's just this event tomorrow night. Juliette was scheduled, then Sadie, so then I offered to fill in and I just hate to cancel on them but…"
"Then don't," Deacon responded. "What is it?"
"It's for the Women's Center, to support their post rehab housing program. I'm supposed to do a couple of songs."
"You should do it, Ray. Good cause and besides, you've gotta be gettin' sick of sittin' around with me all the time."
Rayna slapped him lightly on the leg. "I am not sick of you, not one bit." She chewed her lip for a moment. "I have a better idea. Why don't you come with me."
Deacon shook his head. "I don't think so. I haven't...I haven't really played since Memphis and all this started."
"You played with us at the Opry," Rayna pointed out. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"That was special," Deacon responded, his voice quiet.
"I miss making music with you," Rayna replied. "It's been a long time, Deacon. I miss having you next to me on stage. It's not the same without you."
Deacon didn't reply.
"What's the matter, babe?" she asked.
"A couple of things," he replied.
She leaned against him. "Tell me."
Deacon smoothed his hand down her hair. "I mean, a big part of it is just being worried about being out there, maybe being sick. Folks figuring out what's going on. I just don't want people looking at me, knowing that I'm dying."
"And the other," Rayna said. "Cause I get that one, even though I'm not willing to talk about you dying."
Deacon was quiet again. He sighed, then started. "I feel a little stupid about this one, cause of everything that's going on, but and I love singing with you, but Ray, if I kick this...I'm not sure I want to be a side man anymore."
Rayna slipped from his arms and turned so that she was facing him. "Well, that's the best thing I've heard I've heard in a long time. I don't want a side man. I'm happy to be beside you, but as a partner, in life, on the stage. I want us to be on equal footing, Deacon."
"Hasn't always been that way, Ray," he replied.
She slid her hand up along his face. "I know, babe."
He leaned in and began to kiss her, pressing her back against the couch. His hand slid up under her blouse and around her breast.
"Oh god," she sighed as her hands slid down across his back. She moved to the button on his jeans.
"Ray," he said, quietly as he eased back. "Let's go upstairs."
She led him up the stairs, into her bedroom and over to the bed. He sat down on the edge and she reached down and slowly unbuttoned the flannel shirt he wore. Her hands eased the sleeves down his arms, first the right, then the left.
She took his hand up to her mouth and kissed it, then lowering his hand, she moved closer, pressing her lips to his.
Deacon slid back onto the bed and she followed him. Her hands moved back to the button on his jeans and this time she undid it and lowered the zipper. She kneeled over him, sliding the denim from his legs, leaving him mostly bare in front of her.
She kneeled back, resting on his thighs. His fingers worked their way down her blouse, undoing each button. She slid her arms from the sleeves and sat facing him. His hands moved across her smooth skin, up and quickly found the clasp on her bra.
She moved down against him, her hands moving across his chest, her lips searching for and finding his own. She felt him grow against her and her hands dropped lower, finishing undressing him.
"Ray," he panted. She loosened her own pants and slid them off, their bodies pressed against each other with an urgency. Over the years, their love making had been sometimes sweet, sometimes rough, but tonight there was a sense of desperation, of fear, of the need to make up for all that they had lost, of everything they might still lose.
The next morning, as the light began to creep into Rayna's room, Deacon found himself watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful.
It was so hard. He knew she didn't want to talk about the possibility of him dying, but he had to think about it. He was starting to feel it. His body was changing. The day before, when he was putting his things together to come over to her house, he had to stop, sit down and just wait. He just didn't have the energy to do it, to walk to the truck, to drive across town.
And his head wasn't as clear. He didn't want to perform with her for the reasons he said, but he also wasn't totally sure he could do it, that he could remember the words. They just didn't come to him like they always had.
It was like the years covered up with the fog of his drinking. And he hated it.
"Hey," Rayna said, a smile crossing her face. "You're here. In my bed. In the morning."
"I am," Deacon replied. "I like being here. With you."
Rayna moved next to him, her arm lightly moving across his chest. "I want you to know, I was serious last night-I want you beside me making music now, not as my band leader."
Deacon nodded. "It's gonna be different now, you get that, right?"
"I do," Rayna replied. She slid her hand down his body, feeling him respond to her. She had missed this-his sensuality, the way he made her feel. She'd never felt the passion she felt for Deacon with any of the other men in her life.
"God, I just...I ache for you," she sighed.
Deacon slid his hands around her and pulled her close to him, first slowly, then urgently, joining her.
He wanted to be with every part of her, to feel as alive as possible, to hold all of this as close as he could.
For as long as he possibly could.
"Yes, Bucky, I understand and I'm gonna be there," Rayna said into the phone as Deacon started the coffee maker. "I'll come do the sound check and...no, just me. Can you see if Buddy or Colin can...okay, sounds good."
She ended the call and set the phone down.
"Ray, I think you should probably tell him what's going on," Deacon said as he turned back from the counter to face her. "I know it's been hard trying to keep him at arm's length about all of this and well, he's probably gonna have to cover for you at some point."
Rayna came over and pulled him close to her. "Thanks, babe and you know, Bucky...he's the soul of discretion. I'll talk to him this afternoon at the venue."
"That's good," Deacon replied, giving her a quick kiss. "I'm gonna head home. I've got a couple of things I want to take care of as well."
"Am I gonna see you tonight?" she asked as she stepped back and pulled a coffee cup from the cupboard and filled it.
Deacon shrugged. "I'm not sure. Can I let you know, later?"
"Of course," Rayna responded. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me, Deacon."
"Deacon!"
They turned at the sound of Daphne's greeting.
"Morning, honey," Rayna said as she went over to hug her daughter. "Did you have fun with your dad last night?"
Daphne sat down on the stool at the kitchen island. "It was fun. Maddie was in a mood, though. Again."
"Give her some space," Deacon replied. "Everyone handles this kind of stuff in their own way."
"I know," Daphne replied. "She's just…"
"Just give her a break, Daph," Rayna admonished. "You want some breakfast?"
Deacon picked up his messenger bag and grabbed his coat from the counter. "Okay, I'll see y'all later."
Rayna gave him a kiss. "I'll call you later."
Deacon waved to Daphne and headed out the door.
"So, what's on your schedule today?" Rayna asked as the kitchen door closed.
"Soccer practice," Daphne answered.
"Was that Deacon?" Maddie asked as she walked into the kitchen. "Did he stay here last night?"
"He did," Rayna replied as she pulled two bowls from the cupboard and set them on the counter. "You had already gone to bed when he got here."
"Oh," Maddie replied. She walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a box of cereal. She headed toward the refrigerator and then stopped. "Why'd he leave so fast this morning?"
"He had to get home," Rayna explained. "I'm sure he would have waited if he'd known you were coming down."
Maddie didn't answer, busying herself with the cereal and milk.
"Talk to him, Maddie. Tell him how you're feeling," Rayna suggested. "It might help both of you."
"Can I sleep over at Chloe's on Friday night, too?" Maddie asked. "Our project is due on Monday and we haven't even really started."
Rayna nodded. Give her space. That's what Deacon said. So space she would give.
"Sounds good," Bucky said as he walked up to the stage where Rayna and the band were finishing up her sound check. "No Deacon?"
"No, not this time." Rayna stepped to the edge of the stage. "Hey, can we talk for a minute?"
"Sure," Bucky replied.
She followed him backstage and into the small dressing room they'd set up for her to use that night. She sat down on the couch and Bucky leaned against the counter where her hair and makeup supplies had been set up.
"What's up?" he asked.
"Sorry I've been so off my game," Rayna started. "Uh...Deacon's got some personal stuff going on."
"Anything serious?" Bucky asked, a look of concern crossing his face.
Rayna sighed and looked over at him, shaking her head. "Yeah, it's pretty serious. He...he has cancer."
Bucky moved over and sat down next to her. "Oh, Ray. Is it...is it bad?"
She nodded. "Yeah, it's pretty bad. It's...it's liver cancer. He's on a transplant list."
"Oh god, Rayna." He took her hand. "I'm really, really sorry to hear that. Do you...do you want to cancel this? Maybe I can get Layla…"
"No, I want to do this," Rayna replied, quickly. "But, I just feel like I need to be with him, with the girls. They're taking it hard and he's...he's trying to be brave, but Bucky, it's just so damned unfair."
"You said it's his liver?"
Rayna nodded again. "He...I guess there was cirrhosis, it's related to the drinking, ironically or not." She choked back a laugh, then started crying.
"I'm so sorry, honey," he said as he took her into his arms. "Anything...I'll do anything you need."
Deacon walked into the hotel and headed toward the ballroom. He could hear Rayna singing "This Time" and smiled. It was the last song they'd written together. Who knew if there would be any more.
He nodded at the woman at the registration table and asked if he could go stand in the back. She recognized him and told him to go right ahead.
He slipped into the back of the room. As always, she looked so beautiful.
"Thanks, y'all. You're so sweet," Rayna said as she stepped toward the front of the stage. "This next one is an old one, but one that comes from my heart tonight."
The opening chords of the next song started and then she began to sing.
Turn the light off, go to bed
Tell me all about the day you had
Lay beside me, it's time to rest
You can close your eyes, you've done your best
Let me be your sanctuary
Let me be your safe place to fall
I can take away your worries
The refuge from it all
Deacon stood in the dark, his eyes fixed on her and the music sweeping over him.
All this time
We have together
Is our shelter from the rain
I will share the weight you carry
Let me be your sanctuary
We have weathered through the storms
Taking comfort in each other's arms
When the dark clouds come again
I will lift you up and take you in
It took everything for him to not go up to her on the stage, to take her in his arms, but at the same time his feet were rooted to the floor.
Let me be your sanctuary
Let me be your safe place to fall
I can take away your worries
The refuge from it all
Oh, this time
We have together
Is our shelter from the rain
I will share the weight you carry
Let me be your sanctuary
I will share this weight you carry
Let me be your sanctuary
The audience burst into applause as they stood to their feet. He watched as she accepted their acknowledgment and then before the lights came up, slipped back out of the room and headed for his truck.
He was sitting on on a lounge chair next to the pool when she pulled up in front of her garage an hour later. He set his journal down as she came up the walk.
"Hey," she said as she approached him.
He stood up and walked over to her, pulling her into his arms. "Thank you, babe."
She looked up at him. "For what?"
"For being you, for being here, for being my sanctuary," he said, pulling her closer.
"Always, babe. Always."