Instinct took over, and she willingly pressed herself to him, rather excited that he was not wearing armor. She could feel his hard chest, his sinewy arms, the soft skin on his neck. She could have remained in that wonderful position for the remainder of the day and not noticed, but with great regret she felt Théodred pull away, and she opened her eyes to see his rueful smile.
"I could not help myself," he said. "Your frock becomes you greatly, and I suppose I am prone to be affected by, er, a little fanciness."
"I am glad to know that," Léofe said. "I shall happily manipulate you as often as I can."
He hugged her tight to his chest, and she breathed in his special scent — cedar and sage, she thought it was, as she peered out to the valley below. "There is something particular I wished to discuss with you. A tender subject, I am afraid," he said, and with trepidation she heard solemnity in his voice. Her heart thudded painfully, and she looked up to his eyes. "You are not entirely safe here," he murmured, and she felt his fingers begin to caress her neck. It was hugely distracting, and she had to force herself to listen. "There are...men, who have been plotting my demise for some time now, and I do not doubt that they will seek to hurt me in any way possible. That does, of course, include you. In fact, it ought to make you their prime target, but I would rather that they do not find out about our attachment."
"I knew it would be dangerous," Léofe said, trying to put the goose pimples crawling across her skin to the back of her mind, for recollection later. "And I thought that we might have to be a secret. That is what I am to you: a secret. The last time you came to my home, you mentioned that you brought Erkenbrand, not for his scouting prowess but because you trust him. I only understand that now, I could not quite comprehend why at the time. But you...want to protect me."
"Clever girl," she felt a deep chuckle in his chest. "And quite right, too. But," here he paused again. "To ensure your safety, I am afraid we must take rather drastic measures."
"Oh?"
"Well," Théodred was certainly frowning now, and Léofe felt a distancing between them. "Spending very much time with you would of course put you in an undesirable position. There are few enough times that I treat anybody favorably, especially one so defenseless - "
Léofe scowled.
"But that is only part of it. When I return from patrols, you must not run to greet me, or indeed greet me publicly."
"So it must appear that you do not know that I exist, at all." It felt that with each sentence, her heart severed even more. Such happiness, to be brought so low!
Théodred's face relaxed, and his lovely half-smile appeared. "You often assume the worst, do you realize that about yourself? It is so odd!"
"Then explain why I ought not to assume the worst."
"It is common knowledge that we are acquainted. You did ride with me to the Deep. Twice, even. We may have a polite acquaintance. But we should not let our relationship develop any further in the eyes of others. Any friendly relationship is a target."
Léofe extracted herself from his embrace, resting her elbows on the parapet to watch the commotion in the courtyard below. "If I were you," she said. "I would send all those that seek treason to the noose."
"It is not so simple," he said quietly, staying where he was, out of sight from the people below. "The man that controls these spies has made it impossible for me to relieve anyone of duties outside of my father's command. Since this man also controls my father - " Bitterness crept into his voice. "He would immediately reject any requests to send the spies away."
"How unfair!"
"Yes. But there is little to be done; Bema knows I have been trying to help my father see reason for months."
Léofe turned back to Théodred, who was standing with his arms crossed and his brow furrowed. She hardly knew him at all, she realized. His heart ached, just as hers did, and he was powerless against it, just as she was. "I am terribly sorry," she said, digging the heel of her boot into the stone. "I wish - I wish there was something I could do."
"Léofe," his voice was warm, and she felt her cheeks begin to flush at his tone. "I need you to be safe, but I also require you to accept that I cannot court you properly, though I may try."
"I suppose I can do that," she said. "But I would rather shout my love - "
"Do not!" Théodred said quickly, and then he began to laugh. "I would not expect anything less of you, dear heart, but you really must not!"
"Very well," she lifted her nose, pretending to be miffed, but her prince's easy smile made her smile, too.
"I should return you to Alfrida," he said, sobering as he drew her in for a final embrace. She acceded, trying to feel every inch of him that touched every inch of her, so that she could remember later.
.
.
The kitchens were bustling, so overwhelming Léofe with noise and bodies that she did not feel Théodred squeeze her hand before he disappeared. She did hear her name called across the din, and Alfrida's cheery face appeared between a couple maids.
"Come over!"
Apprehensive in this unfamiliar environment, Léofe did as she was bid. She was surprised to see the lady of the Keep with her sleeves rolled up and elbow deep in flour, kneading a massive ball of dough.
"Can you make bread?" Alfrida asked.
"Of course!" Léofe tried to disguise her affront but did not think she succeeded. Alfrida did not comment on her tone, fortunately.
"Good. Choose an apron. Mix up another batch in that bucket there — that's a good girl. While you're working, you can tell me about your father and your farm."
Léofe's first thought was that she was being tested; however as she went on the difficulty lay in keeping up an appropriate narrative while she was trying to make dough in a kitchen she was unfamiliar with. But she thought she did well enough, for Alfrida listened attentively while Léofe mixed and kneaded as she spoke of her former life. Because of the kindness the lady had shown her, Léofe felt no inhibition speaking frankly of their poverty and hardships. She tried not to imagine eavesdropping scullery maids around her.
"Erk mentioned to me long ago of the quality of training he witnessed at your father's farm," Alfrida said when Léofe paused. "I ought to have purchased a horse from you long ago. I am afraid I'm a mediocre horsewoman, but I find a well-trained steed useful enough. My mare was put out to pasture several years ago, and I have not chosen another."
"If you would like, I can train a horse for you sometime," she offered, feeling a bit shy. "My home may be gone, but I am still fully capable of my work."
Alfrida smiled. "I am sure you are. I will take you up on that offer, the next time horse traders come through. It may be quite some time; the trading caravans have been few and far between."
"Because of the war?"
"What do you know of the war?"
Alfrida's question was sharply put, and Léofe wondered if perhaps she was not supposed to know. "Théodred - that is - the prince, spoke to me of the war many weeks ago. I did not believe him until my father spotted an orc band rushing towards us from over the river."
"Théodred told you?" Alfrida said, eyeing her. "Hmm. Now there is one part of your narrative with which I am unfamiliar. How did you escape the orcs?"
"After Théodred warned us of impending invasion, my father had me to dig out an old barrow near our farm to which we could escape if any threat were to come." Léofe paused. "However, when the threat did come, it was too late for him to go to the barrow. He had a dead leg, and so he told me to go alone."
"I am sorry about your father. He sounds like a good man."
"He was a great man. I miss him everyday."
Alfrida reached over and scooped Léofe's dough into her own, working them together with deft strength. "We will allow these to rise for now. We must search the garden for the last of the beets."
Léofe enjoyed digging in the Hornburg's single remaining garden, which lay within a secluded courtyard just off the kitchen. Alfrida explained as they dug, "We used to have several other crops outside the Deeping Wall as well, but with the extra soldiers coming in and out, they were trampled. I have not been able to refresh the soil enough to grow anything. I am not very skilled in raising food - how I wish Brondwyn were still alive!"
"Who is Brondwyn?" Léofe asked, yanking up a particular large beet and showering herself with cool dirt.
"She was housekeeper before me," Alfrida said, and then she grinned. "She was lousy at running the Keep, I am sorry to say, but she had a way with plants. She would know what to do with dead soil!"
"Do you not use manure?"
"When we can," Alfrida brushed stray hair from her face with her arm, leaving behind a streak of mud. "Unfortunately we must use what manure is available for fuel as well; coal traders from Gondor have not come this far north in several years."
"But what of lumber? There are many forests nearby!"
"We cannot use too many trees at once. The land must be allowed to replenish itself. Besides, stray wildmen haunt the local forests. It is too dangerous to venture very far from the Keep."
Léofe remembered the little copse she had taken refuge in after running away. She had been terribly fortunate to not come across any of the enemy, if the danger was so prevalent. She shuddered.
Once there were no more beets left in the garden, the two women carried the large basket containing their haul back to the kitchen, where Alfrida ordered two maids to take the beets into the cave to store them for the winter. Then it was time to shape the bread dough into loaves. Léofe was surprised that the afternoon had passed so quickly: since coming to the Deep, time had crawled by unbearably in her misery. What a difference it made to not be alone! She wondered where Théodred was, and what he was doing. When could she see him again?
"You are blushing." Alfrida's dry tone made Léofe's head snap up, and unless she was mistaken her cheeks burned more.
"I-I was just thinking," Léofe said.
"About what?"
"Nothing."
The lady did not seem convinced.
"I say," Léofe invented quickly. "I would like to hear your story, if you are willing, now that you have heard mine."
"My story?" The graceless inquiry surprised Alfrida, who paused as she was placing loaves into the great brick oven with a long paddle.
"Indeed. I am most curious as to how two characters such as yourself and Erkenbrand could ever marry."
Alfrida laughed, and after all the bread was baking, she led Léofe from the room. "I think we have earned a rest before supper," she said. "There is a pleasant solar not far from here which faces west. Oh, wait a moment - Hilgund!" This was called back into the kitchen, and a busty woman turned towards them from the wash basins. "Do not let the bread burn!"
The solar was most pleasant; the setting sun blazed in through a sizeable window and warmed the upholstered chairs in which they sat. Despite sleeping until noon, Léofe felt herself relaxing. But she kept herself alert, for Alfrida was inclined to obliging her request.
"It was Théodred who bears responsibility for introducing Erk and I," the lady began. At the name of her beloved, Léofe's heart leaped. She tried to control her blush, but Alfrida did not seem to notice as she continued, "I was living in Middale at the time, not far from here. Théodred and I would visit each other often. We have always been close, due to the scant difference in our ages. Certainly I have always liked him better than my brother - his father - who is twenty-two years my senior. But I digress," she said hastily. "I apologize. Théodred came to my house to celebrate Midsummer that year. He brought Erk with him," Alfrida grinned, catching Léofe's eye. "Erk's sister had recently died and he was to spend the holiday alone. Théodred had a soft heart, even as a youth."
Léofe smiled dreamily.
"But I was very upset to see that Théodred had spoiled our holiday by bringing a stranger - a rude stranger! I took an instant dislike to Erkenbrand."
"Really!"
"Truly," Alfrida nodded. "Never a more overbearing man had I ever met, nor one so large in stature. I nearly had a heart attack when he stepped through the door." Léofe had to bite her lips to keep from bursting into laughter, but when she saw the lady's eyes twinkling, let out a giggle. Alfrida continued, "But Erk loved me from that very moment; he has always said that my haughty manner had him head over heels in a matter of seconds."
The telling of the courtship lasted some time, but Léofe was so absorbed that it felt like no time at all. Alfrida was very talented at reciting the colorful story, and Léofe was nearly in tears from laughing. It had been a very long time since she had laughed so freely; weeks of loneliness and worry were facing to be replaced by wholesome friendship and love. Léofe liked Alfrida very much already, and she hoped with all her heart that she could earn the lady's good will soon.
When she saw Erkenbrand at supper that evening, Léofe found that she could not quite look at him the same. As frightening as his size and volume were, there was no malice behind it. And again - she could not help from giggling when the large man wiped dirt from Alfrida's face with a handkerchief before kissing her soundly in the middle of a crowded corridor.
"May I escort you in?" Théodred's low voice sent a shiver across her skin, and Léofe took his arm with a smile.
"I thought that we were to be cautious," she said, allowing him to navigate her through the crush of bodies and into the hall.
He shrugged, most un-princelike. "I am a mere mortal man," he said. "Surely I cannot be expected to be entirely cold to my -" The rest of his words were undecipherable, for the clamor in the hall was deafening. Léofe entertained the idea of what he had meant to say: his love? His sweet? Yes, she liked both of those.
It was a pleasant supper, in the company of the few people that Léofe could consider to be her friends. Never before had she felt accepted by anyone apart from her father, even her relatives in Isenburg had not been particularly warm. She decided over pudding that she could probably live in and perhaps love the Hornburg, if she could often feel so kindly within its walls. And if Théodred and Brego were with her, of course.
Léofe slept soundly that night, her happy feelings lingering.
.
.
The same happy feelings were dissipating by noon the following day. Not having been informed of the prince's imminent departure, Léofe had only found out the fact when she crossed the courtyard before luncheon and saw Théodred armored and Brego saddled, with the rest of the éored falling in.
Studiously ignoring Théodred, as she wished he had warned her that he was leaving, Léofe stopped to scratch Brego's chin, murmuring nonsense to her old friend and kissing his nose.
"I never imagined that I would one day find myself jealous of my steed," Théodred said, his voice low as he made final adjustments to the saddle.
Léofe felt herself turn pink. "Out of the two of you, Brego is the only one I am allowed to kiss while others are watching," she said. "And that was your own decision, sire."
He laughed. "Then you are dealing my just punishment!"
She ran her fingers down Brego's neck as her eyes blurred, rubbing his fur and trying to keep tears from spilling. It was not fair, that so soon after finding her place in Théodred's arms he had to depart. She turned her face as he peered at her across the horse's back. "I did not know you were leaving so soon!" Léofe said, her voice strangling in her throat.
"I have lingered too long already," he said with a smile. "And the fault for that cannot be placed on my shoulders alone."
Léofe eyed him. "Are you trying to make me feel guilty?"
"Is it working?"
"Not at all!"
At once a horn blasted from nearby, and Léofe jumped. Théodred's features had taken on a stern, stonelike quality, and she bit her lip. "Farewell," she said, and she turned to rush into the hall before she was trampled by the mass of soldiers. If he replied, it was lost in the wind.