The car was quiet, exhausted children quickly lulled to sleep by the motion of the ride and purr of the engine as they snuggled in the back seat among the new furry friends their father had won for them earlier in the day.

The parents were equally quiet having not shared a word since he had made his unexpected plea in the churchyard: "Elsie, I want another baby."

The quiet, however, was not a shared peace.

Charles had been sneaking glances over at her periodically in a desperate attempt to determine her mood, but found her unreadable as her gaze went unfocused on the road in front of them.

They were a few kilometers outside the limits of the village when he decided he could take the silence no more.

"I wish you would tell me what you are thinking."

Her gaze drifted down to her lap, but there was no smile accompanying the mirthless laugh that came from her mouth.

"Honey?"

She shook her head, her eyes searching the roof of the car as she fought to keep her voice quiet in spite of the torrent of frustration that filled her. "There were no signs. No. I take that back. There were outright declarations that you didn't want another child."

Her response floored him. He knew there was a chance she would not feel the same way he did, but the hostility in her statement was shocking. "What are you talking about? I've never said anything of the sort."

"It's not what you've said, although you have said plenty, but also the things you've done."

"What? What have I done?"

"Searching for a," she glanced over her shoulder to make sure the children were still asleep before she whispered the rest of her statement. "…condom the other night. Making sure there was no chance that in your exact words, the last thing we need would happen. And then going on about how nice it is that the children are getting bigger so we can do more things and thank goodness I'm not pregnant or we would have to begrudge our children the fun of attending the fair…"

He continued to be dumbfounded by her accusations. "We have consistently used protection since Pete was six months old, Elsie. Why would last night have been any different? And as for anything I have said, those were just off-handed observations in the moment and…"

"And?"

"I didn't mean to be making declarations of any sort, I swear. That wasn't..." He took a deep breath before speaking, his heart sinking as he forced himself to ask her, "So you don't want another child, I take it?"

Her gaze went back to the road ahead of them, brow arching into a set of frustrated lines as she wearily confessed, "Aching. I have been aching to have another baby. I want it like I want air, Charles, but you…you made me think it was the last thing you wanted."

"Elsie, oh sweetheart, why didn't you say something?" He reached over and ran his hand over her arm until he found her hand. "My God. You only had to say. You know I would never begrudge you…"

She wiped hot tears from her cheek with her free hand as she turned to look at him. "That's just it. I know you wouldn't, even if it wasn't what you wanted. I didn't want you to agree to something that you didn't want- and this is a very big something to agree to…"

"You thought I would regret…" He couldn't finish the sentence as he removed his hand from hers. "I could only love- completely and without reservation- love another baby. My God, I will love however many more babies we have as much as I love Livy and Pop and Pete. Planned or surprise, they will be ours."

"I know that. Of course I know that."

"Then why not say something? Honey, you can't hold things in. We don't do that."

She was quiet for a moment as she turned to look out the passenger side window at the autumn sun retreating below the horizon. Her mind volleyed back and forth between the columns of the pro and con list that had been ever-present in her mind since the day she had felt an increase in her libido and the need for another baby had made itself known in her heart. Now that they were on the same page, she felt it would be deceitful not to remind him of the very reasons that she feared might change his mind.

"I was afraid."

The look she received was one of horror. "Afraid? Of me?"

"No, no. Of course not." She reached over and wrapped his hands between both of hers. "Never. I would never be afraid of you. I was afraid of…of your logic. Of you making the case that we shouldn't. There is a great deal of logic suggesting this is not a good time. A new book going to press and the possibility of starting a whole different series, the renovation on the house, you taking on more at school with the cricket team…we have so much going on right now." She turned her body fully to look at him as she admitted, "And I was afraid you would cite your age as a reason not to have another child."

He pursed his lips, shooting her a sideways glance. "I'm 43, not 83."

"I don't mean you are too old, Charles. Just…a baby born a year from now, well you'd be 60 when he started University."

He was quiet, his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

Elsie let out a deep sigh, afraid she had indeed hurt her own cause. The silence continued for a kilometer, before Charles finally spoke.

"You have written one book as the mother of twin babies and then two more as the mother of twin toddlers and a new baby. We have lovely friends who will help, and I know JoMo will assist me with the school cricket team when need be. The house will get finished and I promise I am far from needing a Zimmer frame."

"But-"

"I made you a promise in that hotel room in Lytham St. Anne. As many babies as you want."

"But-"

He swiftly cut her off, "No buts. It may have been a promise made off the cuff, but it wasn't hollow. Everything we've been through, Elsie…Your happiness and safety and the happiness and safety of those three little people in the backseat…nothing- not a thing in this world means more to me. Adding another child to our family would be…" His voice broke as he reached over and took her hand back into his. "Joy and more joy- that is all you give, all my family gives me and another baby would mean even more joy."

She studied his profile, a new surge of tears pouring onto her cheeks as his love and kindness overwhelmed her. "Are you sure?"

"I've never been so sure of anything."

"God I'm a fool. You have a very foolish wife, Charles Carson."

"No. That is the very last thing in the world you are. You are perfect..."

Elsie let out a laugh. "Well I beg to differ, but I do know I am fortunate because my husband is…"

"Also fortunate." Charles pulled her hand to his mouth and gently kissed her knuckles.

"And so lovely." She whispered as she snuggled up next to him.

A few peaceful moments passed before she cocked her head to the side and gave her husband a playful grin. "So this decision of ours…"

"Yes?"

"Well, the other pregnancies happened without our consciously trying, but this time we'll…" She bit her lip, her smile filling her entire face.

"Have to try." He finished her statement with raised eyebrows and a happy grin. "Well, you know I feel that any task worth doing is worth doing well."

"I for one think we are quite good at this particular task."

"Yes, I wholeheartedly agree, but practice makes perfect. Lots and lots of practice."

She laughed, squeezing his hand. "Now all we have to figure out is exactly when this practice might take place. Between school, books, and keeping our three wee ones fed, bathed, and healthy, time and energy seem to be in short supply."

Charles shoulders slumped. She was quite right. The previous night's interrupted rendezvous was the closest they had come to making love in ten days.

Elsie leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Let's just see what happens for now. We'll make love when we can and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, we'll make it a priority this summer. Deal?"

"Deal." He pulled his hand from hers only to hold it out towards her. "Want to shake on it?"

She ignored his gesture, choosing rather to rest her head against his shoulder. "Oh, let's wait and do more than shake on it."

With a small chuckle, he leaned his cheek against the top of her head.

Baths and story time over, Charles returned from putting a snoozing Peter into his crib to find Elsie leaning over Livy as they began their goodnight ritual.

"Have sweet dreams of carousel horses, candy floss, and flying down the slide, alright?"

Livy's arms reached up and wrapped tightly around her mother's neck. "Alright. Love you more than there are stars and snowflakes and strawberry seeds."

"I love you more than there are stars and snowflakes and strawberry seeds, baby."

A sweet kiss from her younger twin received, Elsie moved over to the twin bed Poppy occupied as Charles lowered himself to Livy's side.

"Did you have fun today, Popsydaisy?"

The little one nodded her head, although her thoughts were more focused on the experience in the churchyard than the fun time at the fair. Her large blue eyes searching her mother's face, she voiced the question that had been niggling at her all evening. "Mumma, did you have a mumma and daddy like Daddy?"

Overhearing the question, Charles leaned over and quickly gave Livy a kiss before whispering, "Love you, petal. Have sweet dreams and a good cuddle with your new bear." He waited until his daughter rolled over onto her side and wrapped her arms around her large pink bear before moving over to Poppy's bed, his hand instinctually going to Elsie's waist as a means of support.

Glancing briefly over at her daddy, Poppy returned her attention to Elsie and repeated the question. "Did you, Mumma?"

Feeling the reassuring warmth of Charles' palm just below her ribs, she managed a deep breath and forced the corners of her mouth into a half-hearted smile before answering, "I did, but like Nana Joan and Granddad Peter, they both passed away a long, long time ago."

"What were their names?"

Charles pulled Elsie closer to him, her discomfort palpable.

"Gilbert and Jessie."

"But what do we call them?"

Sensing Elsie was close to tears, Charles quickly interceded. "We'll decide that another day, alright, sweetheart. It's late."

Poppy pushed herself up in the bed, determined to be given some modicum of information about these grandparents she hadn't known existed until that evening. "Where are their…" The child struggled to remember the word her mother had used to describe the hole into which dead bodies were placed.

"Their graves?" Charles offered softly which was followed by the feeling of Elsie's back tensing up against the inside of his arm as their daughter nodded her head. "Their graves are in Scotland where Mumma and Aunt Becky were born."

"Will we go to see them sometime?"

Without looking, Charles was certain his wife's bottom lip was held firmly between her teeth as she shifted uncomfortably on the edge of the bed.

"It's very far away, sweet pea," he quickly responded.

"Do you have photos like the ones of Nana Joan and Granddad Peter, Mumma? I want to see what they looked like."

Elsie could only manage a shake of her head and upon feeling her back begin to tremble, Charles hastily offered, "Here, Pop. Look here." He produced the gold pocket watch Matthew Hughes had bequeathed him upon his marriage to Elsie. "We haven't looked at this in a long time. Look at your pretty Mumma and Aunt Becky."

The little girl's eyes lit up as a fact dawned on her. "They were Aunt Becky's mumma and daddy, too."

His chest tightened as out of the corner of his eye he caught Elsie stretch her neck in an effort to fight off what he was certain was a sob.

"You need to get some rest, angel." Swallowing hard, Elsie managed the words before leaning down and kissing her daughter's soft cheek. "I love you so, so much, Pop."

The tears swimming in her mother's eyes not going unnoticed, Poppy reached up and rested her hand on Elsie's cheek, a worried look on her face. "Did I make you sad, Mumma?"

"No. Not at all, baby. Mumma's just tired." She turned her face, her hand covering her child's as she kissed the warm little palm.

His hand slipping down to her hip, Charles gave her a supportive squeeze. "We've had quite a day. Why don't you go take a hot bath and I'll sit here with Pop for a bit."

Taking a deep breath, Elsie gratefully followed his directive and moved from the bed, turning back as she reached the door. "Night, night, sweetheart."

"Night, night, Mumma."

He waited until he was sure Elsie was out of earshot before speaking. "Someday when you are a little older, I know Mumma will tell you more about her mumma and daddy, but for now, it's…it's not easy for her to talk about and I think it might be best to try not to think about them."

The little girl's stomach twisted with worry as she looked up at her daddy's kind face, her bottom lip jutting out and her eyes filling with tears as she felt confused and troubled by what he had just said. "Were they not nice to Mumma and Aunt Becky?"

Charles struggled for a moment as his mind spun with how to respond to his very perceptive, but still only four and a half year old daughter. He didn't want to overwhelm her little heart with too many facts, but didn't want to leave her little mind filled with all sorts of unanswered questions and fears.

"You know Mumma and I love you and Livy and Pete more than anything in the whole world, don't you? And that we just want all of you to feel safe and happy all the time, right?"

Poppy nodded her head earnestly.

"When I was a little boy I knew that Nana Joan and Granddad Peter loved me more than anything and they were very happy together like Mumma and I are very happy together. Unfortunately, Mumma's parents weren't happy together and they didn't always make Mumma and Aunt Becky feel safe and happy and it makes her sad to remember, but all that you need to think about is how much we love you and how much you love us and how much you and Pete and Livy love each other. That's what matters. And I am sure one day when you are older Mumma will be ready to tell you more about when she was a little girl, but just not right now, alright?"

The little girl nodded again, but her lip began to curl back up into its worried state. "Did I hurt her feelings?"

"Oh, my sweetheart," he quickly reached under her and pulled her small body up against his, gently rocking to and fro. "No. No you didn't hurt Mumma's feelings. You are such a good, sweet girl, Poppy. Don't worry about that for a second. Let's dry those tears, hmm?" He leaned back to look at her little face and gently brushed his thumb under each of her eyes. "No worries, pet. Just sweet, sweet dreams."

Having kissed her forehead and tucked her back under the covers, he was making his way across the room when Livy startled them both by speaking out. "Are you going to say it, Daddy?"

A split second passed before a wide smile broke out onto his face. "Night, night, sleep tight. See you in the morning light. Love you, sweet peas."

"Love you, Daddy," the little girls intoned together.

Gently closing the door, he was down the stairs and almost to their bedroom when he decided to make a quick detour to their small liquor cabinet. Whether Elsie wanted some or not, he felt the need for a little liquid fortification after such an emotional day and evening.

"Honey?"

He whispered the word as he gently pushed open the door, hot, steamy air enveloping him as he stepped inside to find her with her head turned towards the wall of the bath, her cheek resting against her drawn up knees.

Deciding it best to let her be the first to speak, he chose to simply lower himself so that he was leaning against the wall facing her as he held a small glass filled with four fingers of whiskey. He was mid-sip when she suddenly spoke.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you to deal with that." Her cheeks were streaked with tears and her eyes red and swollen as she turned to look at him. "My babies don't deserve this, Charles. You don't deserve this."

Flinching slightly as he swallowed the singeing liquid, he held the glass in one hand while letting his other dangle over the edge of the tub so that his fingers dusted lightly over her shin. "Don't, honey."

"Don't what? What don't you want me to do?" She asked as she wrapped her arms more tightly around her legs.

"Don't let them hurt you anymore. They're dead, Elsie. They've been dead for years and years. We control this, they don't, and we decide what our children are told and when and or even if. You've no family left so we've no need to ever set a foot in Scotland if you don't want to. This doesn't have to be a part of our life."

Releasing her legs, she grasped his hand with hers, their palms touching. "Wouldn't that be lovely? God, if it was only that simple, that clear cut."

"It can be that…"

She cut him off. "No. I know you want it to be, but it isn't. I can't pretend that all those things never happened. Scars seen and unseen, I am who I am because of them and I can't just turn a lock and throw away the key to that part of my memory because then I lose Becky and Uncle Matty."

"Then you have to deal with it and not…"

"And not fall apart whenever it is brought up?"

He let go of her hand and cupped her cheek. "That's not what happened, but you did worry Pop. She thought she hurt your feelings by bringing them up."

Elsie broke into fresh tears. "Oh no."

"Shh…shh…it's alright, sweetheart. She's alright."

"Really?"

"Sweetheart, she's four."

"She's four going on forty," Elsie said with a teary laugh before offering a somber, "and so tenderhearted."

He nodded, his thumb brushing away tears just as he had brushed away their daughter's only a few minutes before. "I was thinking on our drive back how very much you must have been like her when you were little. So caring and intuitive and perceptive. She analyzes everything. She's so aware…"

"She is. You can see her working things out so carefully and cleverly. I wasn't that clever, but I do see a bit of myself in her when I catch her playing mother hen to Liv and Pete. I have no doubt our wild child would have at least broken a bone or two or had a slew of stitches if Poppy hadn't talked her out of doing one mad thing or another." Elsie's lip found its familiar place between her teeth as she looked down at the end of the bathtub. "I just don't want her, want any of them to know that there can be such cruelty in the world, especially from the very people who are supposed to love and protect you most."

"They never, ever will. We'll make sure of that."

She didn't meet his gaze, but pulled his hand onto her knee so she could rest her cheek against it.

"Do you want a sip of this?"

She shook her head. "I'm going to have a headache in the morning as it is."

"I'll get you some aspirin."

He was beginning to rise when she suddenly reached out and grabbed his arm. "I'll figure it out. I promise I'll find a way to deal with it."

Swallowing a groan as he pulled himself up to a standing position, he looked down at her. "I know you will. I just hope you'll let me help."

She nodded, but a worried look still filled her face. "Did you tell her very much?"

"Just that your parents weren't as happy as mine were or as we are and that you weren't as fortunate as she and Liv and Pete are to have such a wonderful mumma and that right now she didn't need to think or worry about it because all that matters is how much we all love each other."

Rising to her feet, Elsie draped a towel around her body before stepping out onto the rug and wrapping her arms around him. "She may be like me in some ways, but her sweetness- she gets that from you."