Knew I was treading on thin ice with the choices I made in the previous chapter, but was so touched by how supportive and kind almost everyone has been.
This picks up not long after where the last ended. As with most chapters, I think there is the possibility for some tears to be shed, but also a chuckle or two.
It is so uplifting and validating to hear how much you all care about these characters. Thank you for sharing that with me and I hope I haven't let you down with this new chapter.
XO-Jen
Elsie had slept for the last twenty-eight hours, remaining mute when she did wake which was only in order to visit the loo and to take pain tablets, Isobel and Charles helping her do both as they took turns keeping vigil at her side.
It was nearing one o'clock in the afternoon on Monday, December 21st, when Charles met Isobel in the corridor after having completed his sixth circuit of the house during which he checked the lock on every door and window.
"Did you eat some lunch?"
He shook his head. "Not hungry." Running his hands over his face, his now three day old beard scratched against his palms as he whispered, "This isn't right, Isobel. This can't be right."
"Her body is telling her what she needs, Charles."
"The only time she wakes up is to go to the loo or when we wake her take a pill and then she just cries herself back to sleep. She won't talk. She hasn't eaten. She hasn't bathed or cleaned her teeth since Saturday morning. She hasn't seen the children, she's not being with Liv-" his voice fell victim to his exhaustion and worry as he hung his head and reached out to support himself on the corridor wall, the sight of the painting of the girls Elsie had given him on his first Father's Day only heightening his sense of despair.
Isobel placed a gentle hand on his back, her voice soft as she leaned her cheek against his arm. "You have to rest, love. You have to eat and bathe. Don't worry about the children. They are alright. We're taking care of them."
"Livy-"
"Is fine," Isobel assured him. "You were sleeping, but I brought her in and let her kiss Elsie's cheek. She's just fine. You saw that Andy and Daisy built them a blanket fort in the middle of the room so they are surrounded by kittens and people who love them more than life."
"What did you tell them?"
"That Mumma doesn't feel well and needs a day or two to grow strong enough to give them cuddles." His face still filled with worry, she gently patted his back. "Livy really is alright, love. She's strong. Just like her mother."
"I don't know."
"I do. Elsie is incredibly strong, but she needs to grieve and she needs to rest. Don't worry about the children. I'm here for another two days, and Beryl, and Phyllis and Joe are still here and Richard is coming by this evening."
She could barely make out he words as he turned his face away from her. "You all have lives to live. You shouldn't have to drop everything…"
"Keep me away from those babies, Charles Carson. Keep Beryl away. Keep us from loving you. I dare you."
The fierceness in her voice startled him into whipping her head around to look at her, a few seconds passing before he let his shoulders slump as he whispered, "I just want it all to go back to how it was four days ago. I want to not feel the need to check every window and door in our house fifteen times a day and I want my wi-" his voice disappeared for a moment, returning with a sob as he fought to continue. "I want her to be happy and dancing to the wireless while she does the dishes. I want our children to be in her arms and I want her to...I want her to have her secret back."
"I know, love. I know." Isobel pulled him into her arms. "But she's still here. She just needs time. One day soon she will be doing all of those things and Richard said there is no reason she couldn't have ten more babies if she wants. She just has to let her body recover for now. She'll come around when she's ready and in the meantime we'll take care of her. Give her time, Charles. Give her time."
Twelve more hours passed before Elsie woke up, her mind tuning to the darkness outside, the smell of baked bread from the kitchen, and the warm presence of her husband at her side.
"What time is it?"
Charles' eyes flew open as his wife uttered her first words in almost two days. "Sweetheart?"
"What time is it?" she repeated, her eyes struggling to make out the details of his features in the absence of moonlight in the dark room.
He rolled from his side to his back, craning his neck and arm as he switched on the lamp on his bedside table and read the face of the alarm clock. "A little after one in the morning."
"What day?"
"Tuesday morning. The twenty-second." He answered, carefully turning back on to his side in an effort not to jostle her.
"I've been asleep for almost three days?"
He nodded. "You've gone to the loo and taken a few drinks of water and your tablets, but yes, it's been about three days."
She jerked up, but immediately fell back down, gasping as she grabbed the side of her ribcage.
"Careful, honey. Let me help you up if you need to get up."
"Where' Livy?" She reached over and grabbed his sleeve. "I need Livy. Bring her in here, please. Bring them all to me."
His hand was warm and soft on her cheek as he gently shushed her. "In the morning, sweetheart. They're sleeping. They're in the front room in a blanket fort. Joe's on the sofa if they need anything and Isobel is upstairs. They're safe. They're safe and sound."
She began to cry, her hands pulled up over her face. "I shouldn't have slept so long…why did you let me sleep? They need me. Why didn't you make me wake up?!"
"Oh my sweetheart." He carefully wrapped his arms around her. "You needed to sleep. You needed to rest and let your body recover. They do need you, but they need a strong, healthy you. You getting better is what matters right now."
"But Livy-"
"Has been in repeatedly to kiss your cheek and tell you she loves you. She knows you aren't well. They all three know."
He simply held her for the next few minutes as her sobs eventually eased into small gasps, her body relaxing and her breathing steadying against his shoulder.
Leaning back to look at her, his eyes were moist, but his voice calm as he asked, "Do you want to go back to sleep?"
She shook her head. "I want a drink of water and I want to take a shower please."
"I can make both of those things happen," he assured her before leaning down and kissing her forehead.
Gooseflesh covered her body as Charles pulled over her head the once clean gown Isobel had helped her into after a quick bath following Richard's examination the morning she had miscarried.
"Should be warm now. You tell me if it's too hot." Holding her gingerly by her upper arm, he held his breath as he watched her small, slim, trembling frame step over the side of the tub. "Alright?"
"Wonderful," she sighed as the hot water fell over her shoulders and down her back. Bending her neck back, she was basking in the feel of the warm cascade running over her face and chest when she suddenly reached out and grabbed his pajama top as her knees buckled beneath her.
"I can't…"
Supporting her weight he stepped in behind her, his pajamas soon drenched from the run off of the shower from her body as it leaned back against his.
"I've got you." Her hands loosely gripping his arm where it rested across her chest, she closed her eyes as he used his free hand to reach past her to the bar of Yardley. "You just rest against me. Just rest, honey."
Having wet the bar, he gently ran it over her arms and the delicate skin of her chest, careful not to apply too much pressure as his hand swept over the right side of her ribcage and then the left. A lather on her upper torso, he returned the soap to the shelf before spreading the suds down over her stomach only to stop abruptly as she placed her hand atop his as he reached the flat surface that covered her womb.
"Richard said it wasn't even the size of a pea…but it was still our sweet pea."
"It was, sweetheart. It was."
Her fingers curling into the soaking wet fabric of his pajama shirt, she twisted around to face him as he wrapped his arm securely around her back, her face burying into his chest as their tears joined the water falling over them, as they finally shared their grief for the hope that had been so cruelly taken away.
They were a series of strange sensations occurring at different points on her body; softness, cold and wetness, warmth, and little sharp pricks against her cheek, chest, hand, and the top of her head.
"What in the world?"
Her ears were filled with the music of her children's laughter and she opened her eyes to find all three grinning as they watched her over the far side of the bed. Tip's back foot soon pushed her right eyelid closed as the kitten stumbled over her face and into her brother Buddy who was nuzzling against her neck.
"I feel like Gulliver being climbed over by the Lilliputians."
Reaching down and scooping up Hope and Rosie from where they had rolled off of her and onto the mattress, she grimaced as she struggled to move into an upright position.
"Careful!" Charles moved from where he stood in the doorway only to be shooed away by his wife. "I'm alright." She glanced over at the children, returning their smiles with her own. "Are you three just going to let these kittens get all my love or are you going to climb up here and let me love on you, too?"
Charles flinched as he watched Livy and Poppy each grabbed fistfuls of the bottom sheet, eagerly hoisting themselves up over the side while Pete waited to be aided by his sisters once they had landed.
"Gentle, gentle," he called out as he reached down and gave his son a boost. "Be gentle, sweet peas."
"I won't break, honey." Elsie countered as she opened her arms to the girls. "Just be careful of Mumma's middle."
"Elsie, don't stretch. Don't…" He let out a soft growl as he chided, "Mumma is not minding."
"Just let me get some love, bossy britches," she teased as she began kissing the children's cheeks and necks, showering them in affection as their giggles filled the rooms along with little cries from the kittens who were clamoring for attention.
"You feel better, Mumma?" Pete asked, his warm, plump hand resting on the side of her face.
"So much better now that you're here."
Buddy tucked up under one of her arms, Livy reached her free hand out and grasped her mother's. "Daddy said we had to let you rest, but he let us come in and give you kisses."
"I missed you so much, but Daddy did the right thing. I feel so much better having rested and I know those kisses were better than any medicine Doc could have given me." Searching her daughter's face, she softly asked, "How are you, baby? You feel alright?"
The little girl bit her bottom lip. "Mmmm….I have bad dreams, Mumma."
"You do?" Elsie's chest tightened in response to Livy's confession.
"Uh-huh. I dreamed that bad man came and put that hat on me and all I could see was red and I couldn't breathe."
Poppy leaned over and wrapped her arms around her sister's shoulders. "It's okay, Livy. It's just a dream."
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart." Elsie forced herself to sit up, stifling a cry as she pulled the girls to her. "But Poppy's right. It's just a dream. He's gone and he's never coming back. I promise, baby. Never, never, never."
Charles joined them on the bed, gently gathering all four kittens and depositing them in a laundry basket on the floor before pulling Pete into his arms as they curled up with Elsie and the girls. "You're safe, Livy. He can't hurt you ever again."
The little family cuddled for a few minutes before Pete suddenly let out a gasp, pushing his way up so that he was standing in the middle of the bed. "Look! Look!"
Rolling over to look in the direction her brother was pointing, Poppy let out a gleeful squeal before climbing over her father and sliding from the bed and rushing towards the French doors. "IT'S SNOWING!"
Charles helped Livy and Pete down so they could join their sister whose little nose was pressed against the window.
"We go outside?" Pete asked over his shoulder.
"After lunch," Elsie promised. "We have to wait until it gets deep enough for you to actually play in."
Livy's eyes lit up as she asked, "Mumma, can Nathaniel come over and help us build a snowman?"
"Of course, if he's not busy. I bet Daddy will call him, won't you Daddy?"
Charles nodded as he and Elsie exchanged a knowing look in regards to the fact that Livy had referred to the young man by his given name rather than her customary "Red."
The decorators, a father and son who had done several jobs before for the Carson's, had just finished a second coat of paint on what would be Lily and Purley's bedroom walls as lunch was being finished by the members of the household. Elsie only managed a third of a bowl of the rich beef stew and half a piece of homemade bread, but her body instantly felt rejuvenated by the calories and warmth they provided.
Dressed in a flannel gown and wrapped up in her chenille robe, she was soon helped to Charles' large, comfortable leather chair which had been stationed facing the picture window in the sitting room that looked out over the back garden. Her lap covered in a quilt, she was sipping a cup of tea, listening to the pop and snap of the fireplace to her left, and watching her children tramp about the yard with JoMo and Barley when she heard a knock at the front door. Although she couldn't see him, she immediately recognized the polite voice of Nathaniel as Charles led him into the sitting room.
"Elsie's in the chair by the window. I'll go get Livy."
Returning with his coat, Charles was pulling it on when he gave his wife a wink before stepping outside to retrieve the younger twin.
"Good morning, Mrs. Carson."
Elsie's pale, frail appearance clearly startled the young man as he stepped in front of the window to greet her, but she dismissed it with a warm smile.
"Good morning, Nathaniel. Thank you so much for coming over. It will be such a treat for the children." The smile with which she had returned his greeting, soon faded as she noticed the bright red balaclava folded up in his hands. "Charles told you…"
Nathaniel nodded. "He did. He told me everything, Mrs. Carson, and I couldn't be sorrier. I can't tell you how terrible I feel, how terrible Mr. Adams feels that we let that awful man into your home…"
"Don't. Neither of you are remotely to blame. He was going to get to us one way or another."
"But he used me to trick Livy. I can't begin to imagine how sick and terrible a person has to be to want to hurt a child."
Shifting in her chair, Elsie nodded and reached out towards him in an effort to not only comfort, but to stop him from talking about it. "He was a miserable excuse for a man, but he can't hurt us anymore."
The young man shook his head. "And for that I am truly grateful."
"Me, too," she assured him. "Me, too."
The sound of her husband and Livy trudging in brought a welcome end to the conversation.
"Livy Loo, there's someone here to see you."
Although her entire face, save her eyes, was completely wrapped in a scarf, there was no doubting the joy radiating through the child as she bounded into the room, her focus squarely on Nathaniel.
"Hello, Freckles!"
Beryl and Isobel having stepped into the room from the kitchen joined Elsie and Charles in their laughter as they watched the child struggle to wrap her heavily bundled body around the young man's legs.
"Let's at least pull off your muffler, mittens, and coat, sweet pea," Charles offered, quickly freeing his daughter from her confines.
Crouching down, Nathaniel was reaching out to hug the little girl when she suddenly recoiled, nearly falling over as she threw herself against her father's legs.
"No! No! NO!"
Elsie reached out and grabbed Nathaniel's arm. "The hat! Please put is away! It's scaring her."
Jamming the balaclava down into his pocket, the young man was almost in tears himself. "I'm sorry, Livy! I'm so sorry!"
Charles pulled his little girl up into his arms, her face buried in his neck as she wept. "It's okay, baby. Daddy's got you. It's okay." Glancing over at the stricken faces of his wife and Nathaniel, he shook his head. "It's alright, Elsie. I asked him to bring it."
"You asked him…what were you thinking?!"
"I have a plan." Gently patting his daughter's back, he whispered something in her ear which inspired her to lift her tear-stained face and give a nod. Turning back to Nathaniel, he offered, I'm going to give you money for a new hat on the condition that you buy one in any other color than red."
The young man stared at him for a moment before shaking his head in the affirmative.
"Good. Now, I'm going to set you down for a minute, petal, so I can help Mumma from the chair."
Isobel quickly made her way to Charles' side, an encouraging smile on her face as she opened her arms to Livy. "Come here, angel."
Helping a dumbfounded Elsie to her feet, he squeezed her hand reassuringly as they made their way towards the fireplace and a cardboard box that she'd never seen before.
"Nathaniel, Isobel, Beryl, if you will join us?"
All six of them gathered together, Charles took Livy from Isobel's arms and placed her on the ground in front of her mother.
"You are such a brave girl. Mumma and Daddy and everyone are so, so proud of you, but we don't want you to have those bad dreams anymore and I think I know a way we might be able to make them go away." Reaching over he held out his hand to Nathaniel who promptly gave him the red balaclava. "If you can, sweetheart, I want you to take Nathaniel's hat and throw it on the fire and we will all watch it burn up until there is nothing left."
"It will go away?" There was fear in the little girl's eyes, but her voice was tinged with hope.
"It will. The policemen took away the one the man used to trick you, so you never have to see it again." Charles reached down and opened the mysterious cardboard box which was filled with dozens of balaclavas in the same bright color. "And Daddy had Andy and Daisy find all the hats like it in Halifax and we are going to burn them up, too. No more red hats."
Elsie reached out and grabbed his hand, her bottom lip held tightly between her teeth as she tried not to cry.
Lowering himself to a crouching position, Charles took her hand and asked, "What do you say, baby? Do you want to throw the hat in the fire?"
Glancing up at the encouraging faces looking down at her, she nodded and held out her hand into which her father placed the hat.
"Good, brave girl," her mother whispered as she gently stroked her daughter's hair.
"No more bad dreams," Livy announced as she tossed the hat into the middle of the lively flames, her eyes focused on the quickly burning object. "No more."
"Another?"
Nodding at her father, she determinedly took another hat and tossed it onto what little remained of Nathaniel's.
"Gran Bill is waiting for us down by the barn where he has his burn barrel going. Do you and Nathaniel want to go with me to burn the rest of the hats?"
Taking her friend's hand, she nodded at her father, but suddenly turned to look back up at the young man. "Is it alright if I don't call you Red anymore?"
He gave her an understanding smile. "Of course it's alright, Freckles. Since you are my very good friend, do you want to call me what my best friends call me?"
"What do they call you?"
"Natey."
Smiling brightly, she lifted her arms towards him. "Okay, Natey."
Joined by Isobel and Beryl who had shifted two more chairs in front of the window, the trio was watching Charles and JoMo lead the children and Nathaniel to the barn when Elsie suddenly reached over and grabbed Isobel's hand.
"What is it? Are you alright?"
"Do you know where my clothes from Friday are? My skirt and sweater set?"
"In the hamper in the bathroom. We offered to wash them, but Charles said to wait and see what you wanted to do with them."
"Will you get me the skirt? Will you get it for me?"
Beryl was first on her feet and gone for less than a minute when she returned with the taupe skirt.
"Thank you. I just want to check…" She reached into the pocket and produced the wadded up blue handkerchief with which Grigg had gagged Livy. "Would you help me back over to the fireplace?"
A knowing look shared between her friends, they soon had Elsie on her feet and over to the hearth where they heard her whisper the same words Livy had uttered only minutes before.
No more.
"I'm glad Mumma is back," Poppy whispered into her father's ear as he was tucking her, Livy, and Pete into the bed still occupying the nursery.
"Me, too, sweet pea," he answered with a wink and a kiss before turning to her sister. "So what kind of dreams are you going to have tonight, Miss Livy?"
"Dreams of making snow men and eating biscuits and drinking cocoa and cuddling with Mumma and Buddy."
"That sounds ideal." Charles answered as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Will you give Mumma kisses for us?" Poppy asked as she and Pete snuggled up together.
"How about you get kisses from Mumma herself?"
"Mumma!" All three children called her name as they began to scramble over and around their father as their mother made her way into the room.
"Wait, honey, let me help."
She waved her husband away. "I'm alright. I just need some sugar from my sweethearts." Gently cupping Poppy's cheek, she gave her a quick kiss, smiling as she reminded her, "Day after tomorrow, I think Pete is going to get to sleep upstairs with Auntie Izzy so Mary Ann can sleep in here with you big girls."
"Can the kittens sleep with us?"
"We'll see. Mary Ann is used to having a bed to herself. I don't know if she is ready to be stuck with two wiggle worms and four kittens."
Elsie winced slightly as Pete threw his arms around her.
"Careful, bird. Mumma's still tender." Charles warned, gently wrapping his hand around the little one's plump tummy.
"Oh, my big, sweet boy. Are you ready for Father Christmas to come tomorrow night?"
"Mmmhmmm!"
"You've been so good, baby. I know he is going to bring you some wonderful presents."
"A toy-toy?"
The request not one Elsie had heard before, she shot Charles a curious look which he answered with a shrug.
"What, baby?"
"A toy-toy!"
Poppy shook her head. "He means a tortoise. You know like the story? Slow and steady wins the race? His head looks like a bogey with eyes and he has a shell house. You know, a tortoise."
"Oh." Elsie couldn't help but laugh at the description, although she and Charles exchanged panicked looks as they each considered the logistics of finding one and all the accoutrement that the pet would require. "Pete wants a tortoise, Daddy."
"Goodness! I don't know if Father Christmas brings tortoises, baby bird."
"He does! Sylvie's cousin Malcom got a tortoise from Father Christmas last year. She told us." Livy quickly offered.
Elsie took a deep breath. "Oh, well, okay. We'll have to see if he has any left to bring you, sweet pea."
Livy piped up, "I hope he remembers my lookahlaylee."
"We'll see, Liv. We'll see." Her mother promised as she began to push herself up from the bed only to have Livy suddenly grab onto her dressing gown.
"You didn't give me a night-night kiss, Mumma."
"I was saving up so I could do this." Elsie drew giggles from her daughter as she peppered her face with kisses.
"Ew! You're getting me all slobbery, Mumma!"
"Me! Me!" Pete called out earning him the same treatment before she gave Poppy a face full of kisses, as well.
"Oh my goodness! I think you've used up all of my sugar. There's none left for Daddy."
"What?! Thieves!" Charles announced in a silly voice which garnered more laughter.
"Mumma, you know what?"
"What, baby?"
Her little face earnest, Livy declared with great certainty, "I'm going to have sweet dreams."
Elsie ran her thumbs over her daughter's soft, plump cheeks. "Very, very good. Me, too."
"You all better, Mumma?"
"I'm getting there, but knowing you are going to have sweet dreams is making me feel much better, sweet pea."
"Glass of water and a pain tablet."
Elsie scowled as she accepted what a freshly shaved and showered Charles offered as he stood at her side of the bed. "I'm not taking them anymore after tonight. There's so much to do before Christmas Eve."
"Which can be mostly done by other people. You aren't going to overdo, young lady."
Looking over the rim of her water glass, she grinned up at his scowl. "You're giving me the look you give the children when they are on thin ice."
His stern look fell and he smiled. "Sorry, but your stubbornness brings out the concerned father in me. Why don't you try half a tablet tomorrow, at least, and then we can do a fourth on Christmas Eve. We all know you are tough, but there is no need to be in agony if you don't have to."
"As long as you don't take away my pudding or wash my mouth out with soap."
"Eh. You're safe." He gave her a wink before sharing, "Mr. Johnson said he and Jacob should be able to finish with the painting and varnishing by Tuesday so the furniture can be moved in Thursday and we can hang your paintings and lay down the rugs before Lily and Purley come."
"Do you think I should call her and tell her all that's happened? I don't really want to. She's got enough on her plate without us adding this to it."
"I felt the same way, but even though I asked her not to, Violet told her on Sunday. I think Purley had to tie Lily to a chair to keep her walking here from Whitby, but I called her earlier while you were napping and promised her you were better, but resting. She said to tell you she loves you and I told her we'd call and let the children talk to her on Christmas Day."
"Thank you."
Moving to the bureau, he pulled his pajamas out and began changing. "So a ukulele and a tortoise? Where on earth are we going to find a ukulele and a tortoise two days before Christmas?"
"Well, Isobel is calling around London to try to find a ukulele that she can pick up when she goes back to get Mary Ann, but God…a tortoise? I can't ask her to bring one of those back on the train."
Charles sighed, "Do we not have enough of a menagerie on this farm?"
"I know, but he's such a good, sweet boy, honey. After the last few days, I can't find it in me to begrudge any of them anything."
"He is a sweet boy. Alright. I'll see what I can manage tomorrow. Make some calls."
"You are the best Daddy that ever was."
He climbed into the bed next to her, shaking his head, but smiling as he snuggled up at her side.
"Don't argue with me. You bought every red balaclava in Halifax to make our baby's bad dreams go away. If I didn't already love you with of all of my heart that certainly would have done it."
Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her deeply, pulling back and looking in her eyes for a few moments before whispering, "Thank you for coming back to us."
"Thank you for taking such good care of me. I'm so sorry I worried you."
"Don't be sorry. Just keep getting better."
They were both quiet for a few minutes as they listened to a new shower of snow brush across the windows and roof outside.
"I burned the blue handkerchief when you went down to burn the rest of the hats at the barn."
"Good. Good for you."
She inhaled deeply before admitting, "I should have given it to the police."
"He's dead. It doesn't matter now. Besides, I didn't give them this." Charles leaned over and pulled a small parcel from beneath the mattress.
"Your journal?"
He handed it to her. "I took it with me to the barn and was going to toss it in the barrel with the hats, but couldn't bring myself to do it."
She began to read bits and pieces. "This is so detailed. I can see in my mind the places you've described." Turning a few more pages, she reached over and placed her hand on his. "Oh, you've even sketched some things."
He cringed. "Don't look at those. They're embarrassing compared to what you can do."
"Oh, stop." She flipped further into the book, stopping when she came across a sketch of a farmhouse. "Is this the house? The house where you found Thomas?"
Charles nodded. "The front." He pointed at a window on the far side. "That's where the German broke in. That's the bedroom where it all happened."
Elsie continued to read for several minutes, sighing deeply as she reached an entry regarding Thomas.
Barrow spit on Joe when he tried to give him half his dinner ration. No coincidence given that Grigg had been in charge of B all afternoon. B had new bruises on his face. Grigg's knuckles were bruised. Told him he would no longer be on prisoner duty. B is a cretin, but not deserving of this abuse.
"You have the pages he taped to the window and door?"
"I do."
"You know what I think?
"What?"
"I think that this is the book you are supposed to write." She lifted the journal a few inches. "This is your book."
He stared at her. "You're joking?"
"I'm not joking at all. Grigg is dead so he can't object to it. Robert and Joe will support it. You just need to contact Thomas' sister and mother for their consent."
"And with their consent, write a book that names their brother and son as a homosexual deserter?"
"You change the names and you alter parts of it so it is a work of fiction based on the actual events. It has all the makings of good book. You've got the war aspect, the moral implications of Thomas' situation, and the crimes and transgressions committed by Grigg. You've got your childhood friendship with Joe and Robert, and then the event itself. It could be page turning stuff, darling."
Reaching over he took the journal from her and placed it on the table before he switched off the lamp. "I think your medicine is kicking in and your brain is fuzzy."
"This is not the drugs talking." Waiting until he had found a comfortable position, she reached out and took his hand. "Just think about it."
Pulling her hand to his lips, he whispered, "My beautiful, silly wife."
"You encouraged your beautiful, silly wife to do something she never would have considered and look how that turned out."
"Yes, but you're brilliant."
"No I'm not. I just have a husband who believes me and you have a wife who believes in you. You could do this if you only tried, sweetheart. You could tell the world how courageous and self-sacrificing a homosexual deserter was on behalf of his fellow soldiers. You could repay Thomas for taking the bullets that made it possible for us to be together right now and to bring those three little wonders next door into the world."
Staring up at the ceiling, he took a deep breath before turning and looking at her. "Alright. I'll think about it."
"Good. That's all I ask." She squeezed his hand as a gust of wind sent a torrent of flakes against the windows. "I hope this clears off in time for Isobel's train on Thursday morning."
"Do you think she'd consider adopting Mary Ann?"
Elsie was surprised by his question. "I don't know. She would give Mary Ann a wonderful home, that's for sure, but it would be a lot to take on and would certainly require her to settle down. She would have to decide whether she wanted to live in London full time or move here."
"It might mean she'd finally commit fully to Richard. I don't know if they'd let a single woman adopt a child."
"I don't know that she's willing to do that." Elsie admitted with a heavy heart. "There's no way a single woman can adopt a child?"
"I don't know. Maybe she could. I imagine it is especially hard to find a home for a child with Mary Ann's challenges. Most people want little babies, and healthy little babies at that."
"Isobel's a nurse! What better home could they find for Mary Ann?"
Charles was quiet for a moment before whispering what they were both thinking. "A home with a nurse and a school teacher?"
"Oh, honey, wouldn't that be perfect? We need to encourage them. What can we…"
Charles rolled over and pulled her gently to him. "We don't need to encourage them. We do nothing. We let them live their lives and do what is right for them, honey. We can't push them."
She let out a huff, but his kiss on her neck inspired a grin before she uttered a low, "Fine. I won't meddle."
"Oh, you will, too," he teased, "but only because you love them."
"Well, I won't meddle a lot."
"That will be a real Christmas miracle."
Playfully poking him in the side, she grumbled, "Oh shut up and give me a kiss."
He did as he was told, gently stroking her cheek when he settled back down beside her. "Richard said we could start trying again after you had a full cycle."
"I want to. I want it more than ever. As soon as we can."
"Me, too."
A moment passed before she whispered, "I wonder if it would have been a boy or a girl?"
"I don't know, honey."
She was sniffling and wiping away a few tears from her cheek when she admitted, "I don't remember much from the last two days, but I do remember a dream I had at some point. I don't know where I was, but your mother was standing in front of me dressed in the lace dress from the painting, but instead of you, she had a different baby in her arms. She didn't say anything, but she was giving me the sweetest smile before the dream suddenly ended. "
His fingers twisting around her sleeve, he pressed his face into this pillow to muffle a sob as she gently ran her fingers through his hair, her own tears falling fast and swift as she whispered, "If there is such a place as heaven, it makes me happy to think that our angel is there with her and that we will get to be with them someday."
Rest was required every three gifts or so, but by the end of Wednesday, Elsie had most of the gifts wrapped, save the ukulele and the yet to be located tortoise, although Bill had come up with a small crate lined with chicken wire and a latching lid which would provide an ideal home for the animal.
Dinner finished, Elsie and the children were seated around the dining room table when Beryl presented them with a tray of gingerbread men and snowmen.
"You have outdone yourself, Auntie Bee."
"Don't be silly, It's just some biscuits," Beryl countered before retrieving a large bowl of royal icing, as well as several small bowls of candies, raisins, and shredded coconut. "Mumma, if you will apply the icing, my chicks can then decorate our little friends here however they want."
"And then we'll bite their heads off!" Livy announced in a funny voice.
The room was filled with laughter and Elsie snorted as she merrily declared, "Livy! You are too silly, girl."
Poppy and Pete were still laughing when Charles appeared from the back of the house, a bright smile directed at his wife.
"You going to help us decorate some biscuits, sweetheart?"
"I will supervise. How about that?" he offered as he lifted Pete up in the air, the little boy squealing from the surprise before Charles sat down in the chair and perched his son in his lap.
"Did you have any luck?" Elsie whispered after she passed each child a snowman she had drizzled with the royal icing.
"I think so. I have to run into town tomorrow to collect it so let me know if there's anything you need."
"I will get with Beryl and let you know." She promised before leaning over and kissing his cheek.
"What's that for?"
"We were all so busy today I didn't get to see you much. Missed you."
Smiling, he leaned over and gave her a warm, lingering kiss.
Giggling, Poppy and Livy broke into a little chant. "Mumma and Daddy sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then come Daddy with a baby carriage!"
Charles gasped as he turned to the girls. "Where in the world did you hear that?"
"Andy." Poppy quickly answered. "He and Daisy always say that when they see you kissing. He said you and Mumma are lovey dovies."
The surprised looks on Elsie and Charles' faces made Beryl laugh as she brought over a tray of bell, star, and Christmas tree shaped shortbread. "Andy's right. You two can't keep your hands off one another." Watching the couple blush, she added, "And it's lovely."
"Sylvie said her mumma and daddy never kiss because her mumma is tired of having babies." Livy off-handedly remarked as she sprinkled coconut flakes over the snowman in front of her.
Considering what her sister had just suggested, Poppy's little face was filled with curiosity as she looked up at her parents. "Is that how you get a baby in a mumma's tummy? You give each other lots of kisses?"
Pulling back a chair, Beryl plopped herself into it, her arms folded and a bright smile on her face as she waited for one of the little girl's red faced parents to answer.
"Kissing is part of it, Pop." Elsie answered, avoiding making eye contact with the cheeky little cook.
"What's the other part?"
Glancing over at her husband, she pulled her lip between her teeth, quite unsure how to respond.
"The daddy climbs up on the mumma's back and bounces up and down." Livy offered the matter-of-fact answer without looking up from her decorating. "Remember when we saw the boy horse on top of the girl horse and Gran Bill said they were making a baby horse?"
Beryl had to put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle as she watched Charles turn a deep crimson all the way to the tips of his ears.
"Liv, that is what horses do, not people." Elsie managed to utter as she fought not to laugh herself.
Poppy scowled at her sister, "Mumma and Daddy couldn't do that anyway, Livy, because Daddy is too big for Mumma."
The words still hanging in the air, Beryl abruptly pushed herself away from the table, her face buried in a tea towel as she moved quickly back to the sink.
Clearing his throat, Charles' tone was stern as he announced, "You don't need to worry about any of this for a long time. When you are old enough, Mumma will explain about babies and tummies and…other things, but for right now, all you need to know is that a Mumma and Daddy loving each other is the main reason they have a baby."
"Mumma will explain, hmm?"
He ignored his wife's comment, choosing instead to bite the head off of naked snowman.
"They're here! They're here!" Poppy ran back and forth from the dining room window to the front door, torn between wanting to watch Isobel and Mary Ann emerge from Richard's car and being the first one to greet them.
"Wait for Mumma, Pop," Elsie called from the sitting room as she pushed herself up from the sofa and took Pete's hand.
"Hurry!" The little girl called impatiently, hopping up and down at the front door.
"I know you're excited, baby, but you have to calm down. Mary Ann has never been here before so she is going to be a bit overwhelmed. We have to be calm and let her get used to the house. Let Doc and Auntie Izzy get her inside and then you can give her a gentle hug."
"One little step up, love." Isobel instructed as she and Mary Ann made it to the front door, Richard behind them with Mary Ann's bag in one hand and Trina the doll tucked under his other arm.
"Hello! Hello!" Elsie called as she opened the door and gently pulled Poppy and Pete aside so their visitors could enter. "Welcome to our little farm, Miss Mary Ann. It's Mrs. Carson. Do you remember me?"
The little girl turned her head in Elsie's direction, the trepidation that had been on her face melting at the sound of the gentle voice. "I do. You read us books. Is Penelope Joan here?"
"I am, Mary Ann! I'm right here!" Poppy bubbled, but threw her hand over her mouth as she looked up at her mother.
"Go on, sweetheart," Elsie urged with a smile.
Reaching out, Poppy tenderly patted her friend's arm before slowly and carefully wrapping her arms around the older girl who returned her hug. "I'm so happy you are here."
"Me, too." Mary Ann answered as she rested her head against the little girl's.
Loosening her grip, Poppy smiled brightly as she looked at Mary Ann's face. "I love your new glasses!"
Mary Ann reached up and touched the pale pink cat eye frames which held dark lenses. "Miss Isobel got them for me so bright lights don't make my head hurt."
"They are lovely, Mary Ann," Elsie agreed as she and Isobel exchanged grins.
"Do you want to come and meet the kittens and Barley? They are in the nursery with Livy, and we can play babies."
"Barley from the book?"
"The one and only," Elsie assured her.
Reaching out for Isobel's hand, Mary Ann excitedly asked, "May I go with Penelope Joan to see the kittens and Barley?"
"Of course, sweetheart." Isobel turned around and took Trina from Richard. "I'll come with you and Poppy."
"And me?" Pete asked as he wrapped himself around Isobel's leg.
"Of course and you, my little love," Isobel quickly answered, leaning down to kiss Pete's head.
"I'll put on the kettle and we'll have some of our Christmas biscuits and milk after you play a bit," Elsie offered as Poppy led the group down the corridor.
Still holding Mary Ann's bag, Richard followed Elsie into the kitchen.
"Did Isobel say how the trip went?"
"Very well. The children's home is apparently a bit loud and overwhelming and she doesn't like it at all. I think having Isobel's undivided attention and gentle handling was a welcome escape."
"You can just set her bag against the wall. We'll get it later. I hate to hear that she is unhappy there. And the grandfather hasn't changed his mind? He won't take her?"
"He's got a heart condition and live out in the country with no running water or electricity so it's out of the question."
Frowning, Elsie moved to the stove and picked up the kettle only to have the doctor quickly move to her side and take it away. "Let me do that, love. It's too heavy for you to be lifting."
"I'm feeling much stronger, Richard."
"I'm glad to hear it, but I know you, lass. One minute you'll be picking up a full kettle and the next you'll have Pete on your hip. Let your body rest, Elsie. Give it plenty of time to heal."
"You and my husband. Nothing but a bunch of worry warts."
Smiling, he moved the now full kettle to the burner she had lit. "Worry warts who happen to care about you. Speaking of, where is my fellow wart?"
"Gone to town to meet a man about a tortoise."
"Ah, that's right. Pete's Father Christmas list."
"Yes. Oh! Did Isobel happen to have a parcel with her when you picked her up?"
He nodded and moved towards the doorway. "In the boot. I'll get it." He left the room only to return a few seconds later, his face serious as he pointed his finger at her. "If that kettle whistles before I return you are only to turn off the burner. No lifting!"
"Cross my heart," Elsie answered, drawing an "X" over the left side of her chest and making a silly face.
He returned a minute later with a long rectangular box wrapped in brown paper and twine.
"Thank you! This is going to make a freckle faced four year old quite happy come Christmas morning. Let's just hide it here for now." She opened the pantry door where he promptly slid the box into the corner.
"Isobel said it was a ukulele."
"I'm afraid that is true," she laughed. "Prepare yourself for a Christmas Day concert courtesy of Livy."
"I can hardly wait."
The kettle whistle blowing, Elsie moved a small robin blue tea pot to the counter nearest the aga. "If you'll do the honors, the leaves are already in."
Letting the tea stew, they moved back to the table.
"So, I need your assistance."
Richard gave her a curious look. "Alright. I'm always up for an Elsie Carson scheme."
She pursed her lips at him before explaining, "It's not a scheme. It's just an idea."
"Go on."
"Don't you think Joe and Phyllis would make the most wonderful parents for Mary Ann?" She asked, only to be surprised as his smile fell from his lips and his shoulders slumped as he leaned back in his chair. "What? You don't think so?"
His gaze falling to his lap for a moment, he tilted his head as he looked back up at her. "I'm sure they would be lovely parents."
"But?"
"Isobel is quite taken with her, Elsie, and I think Mary Ann feels the same."
Shaking her head, she quickly responded, "Oh, of course. There is no one kinder or more caring than Isobel."
"And I think this might be my chance."
Elsie stared at him, her heart rate quickening. "Your chance to...?"
"You know what she's like. She's dedicated to The London which is wonderful. One of the main reasons I love her is because of her kindness, her selflessness, but it keeps her away for months at a time. I often think the only reason I get to see her is because of how attached she is to Poppy and Livy and Pete and you."
"That's not true, Richard. She loves you."
"I think she does, but not enough to commit to living here. But Mary Ann, well she would need a stable home and it would be hard, if not impossible for a single mother to adopt her. I can be the answer to that problem. Isobel and I could marry and adopt Mary Ann together. We could give that little girl a happy, stable home here in Halifax."
A wide smile was beginning to cross her face when she suddenly noticed a pale, frowning Isobel watching them from just outside the kitchen. Their eyes meeting, Isobel soon disappeared back towards the nursery.
"What do you think? Do you think she would consider it?"
Elsie mustered a smile and reached out to pat his hand. "I think you would make a lovely family. It just depends on what Isobel wants," she answered as she left the table to make their tea.
"But you're on my side aren't you? You and Charles will support me won't you?" He asked, desperately searching her face.
"Whatever will make you and Isobel happy, of course we'll support that."
Placing the cup of tea she had just handed him on the table, Elsie's chest tightened as she watched him retrieve a small velvet box from his inside coat pocket. "I've been holding onto this for two years. Depending on how Christmas with Mary Ann goes, I'd like to ask her on New Year's Eve."
"I will think good thoughts, love," Elsie promised, although her stomach twisted in knots as she looked at the large, shining solitaire in his hand.
Christmas next with some surprise visitors and a bit of entertainment.
Again, thank you for your kindness and for taking the time to read what I have presented and to share your feelings with me.
Love,
Jenny