I just want to say thank you so much to my followers! I haven't been updating because it's finals week and I'm dying. But it's almost over, so I'll be posting more often. I also wanted to give a special thanks to babyreaper, you review all my stories and it makes me so happy! I always look forward to your feedback. Thanks so much to everyone else who has left reviews too! I thrive on them. Every time I see a new comment it makes me wanna write more. I love you all.
Sam only allowed himself to take a short nap. He sure as hell wasn't gonna be asleep when their father showed up. He already regretted calling John. He peered out the motel window and watched as a large black truck parked next to the Impala.
"Hey, you gonna let me out of these?" Dean gestured, still handcuffed to the bed.
"Not yet," Sam replied, stepping outside and shutting the door before Dean could protest. He inhaled sharply as he saw John step out of the truck. He was really here.
After all these months. After disappearing and ignoring them for months, only to receive a cryptic phone call to stop looking for him.
Sam clenched his fists. It took conscious effort to keep himself from punching the man in the face.
But then his father stopped in front of him and spoke.
"Sam," His voice was low and hoarse. He sounded exhausted. He was obviously in desperate need of a shave and a good night's sleep. His eyes were bloodshot and his shoulders slumped.
"Hey, Dad."
"Last time we were together, we had one hell of a fight."
"Yes, sir." Sam looked down, feeling defensive, but also a little guilty.
"It's good to see you again. It's been a long time."
Sam looked up, surprised. "Too long." He said softly.
John hesitated, but pulled his younger son into a hug.
Sam inhaled the familiar scent of gunpowder and whiskey that was his father.
They pulled away, and John rubbed the back of his neck. "How's Dean?"
Sam bit his lip. "He's in a really bad place right now."
"Dammit..."
John actually looked nervous as he followed Sam back into the motel room. His eyes widened when he saw Dean handcuffed to the bed.
Sam shrugged. "Just in case."
"Hey, Dad!" Dean's face was a portrait of mixed emotions. He was obviously happy to see their dad in one piece, but his shame at the situation was apparent as well.
Sam unlocked the handcuffs and helped his brother to his feet. Dean leaned on him heavily as the movement pulled on his stitches.
"Looks like you really did a number on yourself." John's worried gaze swept over him. "What are your injuries? Did Sam take care of them?"
"Yeah, Sammy patched me up." Dean nodded, purposely ignoring the first question.
"He's got a concussion, stitches to his right side and thigh, and also his left arm. Nothing permanently damaged." Sam filled him in. "Oh, and he's also recovering from an epic hangover." He added.
Dean glared. "I'm fine."
"Yeah, you're the picture of health." John scoffed. "Come here." Sam let go of Dean long enough for their father to hug him.
"It's good to see you." Dean said as he took an unsteady step back. He swatted Sam's hands away. "I'm fine." He mumbled again.
"Yeah, I've missed you boys."
"Then why didn't you meet up with us sooner?" Sam challenged.
John sighed, clearly not in the mood for a fight. "Too dangerous. I've been tracking the demon, getting close. You two are my weakness. I couldn't let the son of a bitch use you to get to me."
"But-"
"Sam, please." Dean said quietly.
Swallowing his anger and frustration, Sam held his tongue for his brother's sake.
"Dean, sit down. We need to talk." John said, addressing the whole reason he'd finally showed up.
"Damn straight we do. What's the plan for catching this thing?" Dean reluctantly sat on the bed, wincing.
Sam sat next to him, and John took a seat on the edge of the bed across from them. "You know that's not why I'm here, son."
"Can we just forget about that?" Dean asked desperately, looking extremely uncomfortable.
"I wish I could. Trust me, the last thing a father wants to hear is that his son is..." He cleared his throat. "I just don't get it, Dean. What's so bad about this life that you'd throw it away?"
"This is ridiculous." Dean mumbled. He stood up, trying to get some space. He needed a beer.
Sam beat him to the fridge, standing in his way. "You shouldn't be drinking."
"Well I can't exactly have this conversation sober. Why are we even doing this?" He limped to the small table and sat down. "We should be going after the demon!"
"We've been looking for 20 years, I think it can wait another day." John said.
"Alright, what do you wanna hear?" Dean asked tiredly. "I won't do it again. Let's get on with this so we can get to the important thing, which is finding this son of a bitch and smoking it!"
"No, you are the important thing!" John started to raise his voice, but took a deep breath and spoke quietly. "You and Sam are all I have left, Dean. Yeah, I wanna kill the bastard and end this, but I can't lose you in the process. That's why I've been staying away, I thought I was protecting you."
Sam didn't say anything, but he was proud of their father for finally recognizing his priorities, and putting family first.
John looked at his hands. "I know I haven't been the best father. I dragged you two around the country without even thinking about what it was doing to you. The hunter's life is a lonely life. I never wanted this for you."
"Dad, you don't have to-"
"I've just been...so preoccupied with trying to find this thing and get revenge...I didn't take the time to be your father. I was your drill sergeant. Maybe a few more hugs and a lot less whiskey...and we wouldn't be in this mess. I've completely failed as a parent." He laughed bitterly.
"Dad, that's not true." Dean felt horrible. This was all his fault.
"It is though." John looked at his sons with regret in his eyes. "Instead of getting pissed at you for being more reckless on hunts after Sam left, I should've seen what was happening. You weren't being sloppy, you were trying to get yourself killed on purpose. I should've seen the signs."
"Wait..." Sam stared at his brother with wide eyes. "You've been suicidal since I left for Stanford?"
"Don't...don't try to blame yourself for this. Both of you, it's just me being a whiny bitch, alright? It's not your fault." He started to pace, something he usually did when nervous. But the wounds on his thigh were screaming at him after only a few seconds, so he sat back down on the bed across from his dad. "I mean it, it's not your fault."
"That's debatable." John sighed. "But I need to quit making things about me. You're not a 'whiny bitch', you're just struggling right now. Talk to me, son."
Dean nervously twisted his ring. Obviously they weren't gonna let it go. "I dunno, I just miss the way things used to be."
"What do you mean?"
"The three of us against the world. Saving people, making a difference. I hated the fighting." He said honestly. "I know you and Sam don't see eye-to-eye, but I could see it from both sides and it just...killed me. Cause both of you wanted me to pick a side and I couldn't."
"I had no idea..." Sam bit his lip.
"It's okay, I don't want you to feel bad. That's not the point." Dean said quickly. "After you left, things were okay. I missed you like hell, but I knew you were happy. But things just weren't the same. And then Dad disappeared..." He swallowed hard, avoiding his father's gaze. "After two weeks of lookin' for you, I almost ate a bullet."
Both John and Sam exhaled sharply.
"I was this close to pulling the trigger." Dean admitted. "But I couldn't do it, cause I needed to know if you were safe. If you were being kept and tortured someplace...I had to save you. Couldn't take the coward's way out."
"When you came to get me...man, if I had known-"
"It's okay, Sammy. I didn't want you to know."
"Why now?" John asked suddenly. "We're close to catching the demon, you two are hunting together again...I don't understand."
"I thought I was holding you back. Like you said, I've been slacking off on hunts. I thought...that you thought I'd screw up. And that's why you left." He shrugged.
"Well you're wrong." John said firmly. "You're an amazing hunter, Dean. I know you'd kick this thing's ass. I just don't want you getting hurt."
Dean laughed and gestured to the bloody bandages on his arm. "Occupational hazard, Dad. Nothing we haven't seen before."
"This is different."
"I know, I know." Dean shook his head. "But you gotta let us help. Three against one, better odds than just you."
"He's got a point." Sam added.
John sighed. "Alright...we can work together. But if this thing goes south, I want you two out of there."
"Deal." Sam nodded. He exchanged a glance with Dean, an unspoken understanding that they would probably have to forcibly remove their father from the situation too if things went bad.
"Are we good?" John asked. "Dean, you good?"
"Yeah, I'm aces." Dean forced a smile. They'd talked things out, so why did he still feel like shit?" Now that we got everything sorted out, who's hungry?"
There's still more coming, stay tuned! And thanks again for reading and reviewing :)