Chapter 2
That summer did not go well. Tamara started texting Neal again. She wanted him back. Neal, of course, was flattered by the affection and loved every second of two girls fighting over him. This time, though, he showed me the texts so I could see how much Tamara loved him and how desperate she was. The summer continued in this way. I constantly accused Neal of cheating on me, and he denied it each time.
"Maybe we should just break up then," he said one day. "You're never going to trust me again. This isn't going to change and you're just going to keep accusing me!"
"You can't blame me for not trusting you. You cheated on me. It will take me a while for me to trust you again, but that day will come. It doesn't help that you still text the girl you cheated on me with."
"I'm not going to stop being friends with her because of that. That's all it is; we're just friends," he said.
"Not to her!" I yelled. She's still in love with you, and she'll do anything to get me out of the way. Including making me look like the bad guy because I'm trying to end your friendship."
"Well maybe we should break up if that's what you want!"
I yelled again. "That's exactly what she wants! You just want to break up because then you can be with her, and you can say the breakup was my fault." There was no way I could let this happen. I had tried too long and too hard to fix things between us. Plus, I had invested two years of my life in this. I didn't think I would ever be able to let anyone get as close to me as Neal had. This couldn't be the end.
So it wasn't. Each time Neal tried to break up with me, I reasoned with him and convinced him not to. As the end of the summer approached, I got closer and closer to leaving for college. Neal was staying home and commuting to a state school, but I would be dorming an hour away. As college move-in day drew nearer, I worried that Neal would get bored of me while I was gone, and move on with some other girl.
It seemed that Neal had similar worries. "You're going to find someone at school who is better than me and fall in love with him," he said. "We should just break up now and get that over with so it will be less painful."
"Neal, you're being ridiculous," I said. "Quit pushing me away. I'll be fine. Are you sure you don't just want to get with Tamara again?"
"When are you going to stop asking about her and start trusting me?"
"Maybe when you stop trying to break up with me! We took a "break" over summer for like three days so you could "figure things out" but all you did was go over to her house and cheat again!"
"We were on a break; it wasn't cheating!"
"Just drop it," I said. "I'll be fine, as long as you promise that you will be too.
"I promise," he said.