Audrey took another deep gulp of whisky as she eyed the self-proclaimed wizard sitting on her couch. Seriously? She was supposed to believe that this freckly little ginger was a wizard? He was no Gandalf. If anything, he reminded her more of Mickey Mouse when he stole the magician's hat.

But the last half hour she'd spent cleaning up her living room said otherwise, though she'd gone blissfully blank as she sorted out the mess, her brain still trying to process the complete decimation of the laws of physics that had taken place in her double-wide.

Percy Weasley fiddled with his fingers, nervously watching her. His head was bowed and he looked for all the world like a kicked puppy. Every so often, he'd look like he wanted to say something, before looking away again.

He'd tried to explain that it was accidental, but she just shushed him and continued cleaning, telling him to eat his soup.

Hundreds of questions raced through her mind until she could barely think straight. Were there more wizards like him? Witches? Were fairies real too? Greek Gods? God? Ghosts? Aliens? Where did he come from, and why did he look like an escapee from the nut-house? With his bloodshot eyes and constant twitching, he looked like he should be on some sort of medication for PTSD. Not knowing where to even begin, she stayed silent and focused on rearranging her books back into their proper order.

All in all, Audrey felt like she was doing a pretty good job at keeping cool after having reality as she knew it crack and crumble into dust. She glanced over at Percy again, who was chewing on his lower lip, empty bowl on the table in front of him. He pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders, watching his host nervously, like he expected her to cast him out on his arse.

Audrey took a deep breath, set her glass down, and went over the facts. Facts were good to think about. They were solid and inarguable. She went over facts a lot. It helped her stay grounded.

-There's a boy with no ID, phone number, or emergence contact sitting on my couch.

-He seems to have problems with his brain. Not a doctor. Have no idea.

-Wizard. No hoax. Made the bookshelf float. Also has no wand.

-His name is Percy Weasley. He seems nice.

That was all she had so far. Audrey frowned, glancing up at Percy. He was now staring down at his bare feet on the carpet. She needed more intel. More to work with. He didn't seem to have anywhere to go, or anyone he was willing to contact.

She made a to do list in her head.

-Get more information. Family. What happened to him. Where to take him.

(If he doesn't have anywhere to go)Option 1: keep him. Option 2: police.

Well shit. Would she have the heart to call the police if he had nowhere? She certainly couldn't just keep him like a stray...right? She sighed, tapping her pen against the notebook. She knew she was getting ahead of herself. That he was probably waiting for her to stop whatever she was doing and just give him a ride.

She needed to be prepared for anything though. He hadn't said a word about his family. Surely if he had somewhere to go, he would have told her already?

Audrey felt a lot like a shrink and very out of her comfort zone as she turned to Percy. He seemed to shrink under her gaze, as if he'd rather be anywhere else. She could see him twitching, and now that she was really looking, noticed how he seemed to squint.

"So," she began, "Do you have family?"

To her confusion, his face crumpled and he resumed staring at the floor. "I did," he murmured. "They wouldn't want to see me."

So he had a family. He was just estranged. She wondered if he was gay. She knew a few people who had been kicked out by their so-called family. She supposed that prejudice probably would extend to wizards too. "Do you have any friends you want to contact?"

He shook his head, saying nothing else. Audrey held back a sigh of frustration. "Is there anywhere you want to go? Hospital? Police? Shelter?"

Percy looked rather terrified by the idea. He shook his head violently, clutching his blanket tighter as if he was waiting for her to kick him out. How could someone who was obviously in his twenties manage to look like a five year old?

Audrey was at war with herself. She couldn't just keep him there! He wasn't a puppy (no matter how much he looked like one) and she needed to think of herself. And yet, the thought of phoning the police to cart him away left a bad taste in her mouth.

Percy Weasley obviously needed some kind of help. She didn't know if she could give it to him. She was just a white trash stripper living in a trailer park for God's sake! How on earth could she help him? She couldn't even keep her lawn green.

"You can call the police if you want," he said quietly, despite the look of earlier fear. "Or just drop me off in London. I don't want to cause you any trouble."

Oh Lord...

With a sigh, Audrey knew her mind was made up. There was no way she was leaving the poor sod to fend for himself. He probably didn't even have any proper ID or paperwork. Just from the way he reacted when he realized his wand (magic wands! Jesus!) he wouldn't last a day before getting himself into trouble.

Audrey thought about how, of anywhere he could have ended up, he literally landed on top of her. As if they were meant to meet. She'd never really believed in fate before, but now she wasn't so sure. If magic existed, why not fate and destiny? Hell, maybe God himself really did have some grand plan for them all.

Enough with the bible thoughts. The last thing I need is an existential crisis. She shook her head, and made her decision.

"Well, if you don't have anywhere you need to be, you could stay here if you want?" She smiled slightly as the shocked look passed over his face.

"I don't want to be a bother," he said quietly.

"You're not," she said firmly, forcing herself to believe it. "I work late and sleep late, so as long as you don't mind that, you can stay while you work things out."

Audrey knew she had made the right choice when Percy looked at her with overly bright eyes and a look of pure gratitude "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you so much."

She shrugged. "I hope you don't mind a pull-out couch. The extra bedroom is kind of my art studio."

"Pull-out?" He cocked his head.

Something occurred to Audrey. "Percy? What do you know about electricity?"

"Elekticity is a muggle source of power," he replied intelligently.

She winced. "Airplanes? Cars? The muggle world in general?"

He shrugged, ducking his head in embarrassment. "Not much. Muggles are strange and confusing and I don't know how they make arrow-planes stay up. I can drive," he added helpfully. His arms wrapped tightly around his stomach. He was clearly spent. Maybe that burst of magic Audrey witnessed earlier had something to do with it.

"That's good," Audrey said, though it wasn't good at all. "I can teach you the rest."

So he had no idea how to function without magic. She supposed it made sense that wizards would keep to themselves. Maybe they even had their own world. "So what happened to you?"

Percy shifted uncomfortably. "War."

She blinked. "A war?"

He nodded, suddenly looking miserable. "Worked for the ministry. Couldn't escape. I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," she said quickly, "it's okay."

A wizard war refugee. That was new. This just kept getting better and better. Audrey poured herself another shot of whisky, sighing as the liquid burned down her throat. "So I need to go to work at six today, but I have tomorrow off, so we can go shopping. Alright?"

He cocked his head. "For what?"

"Clothes. Maybe an encyclopedia."

"You don't have to-"

"-well you can't wear my clothes," she smiled wryly. "It'll be fun. You can pay me back later."

He nodded wearily, his eyes fluttering slightly.

"You want to go back to sleep? Or you could watch the telly if you want?"

"Telly-vision?"

The realization that he'd probably never seen a telly before, let alone watched one, sent a jolt of excitement through her. At the very least, she could make a dork out of him. She grinned and grabbed the remote. "Scoot over." Squeezing in beside him, she flipped through the channels until she found a re-run of Coronation Street.

"I'll show you Seinfeld tomorrow. And you'll definitely want to see Doctor Who!"

"What's Doctor Who?"

The question was music to her ears. "You'll love it."

New to do list. Take new roomie shopping for clothes. Stop at video store to rent whatever seasons of Doctor Who she could find. Maybe some old 80s fantasy flicks. Maybe he'd get a kick out of some King Arthur.

She smiled as his eyes lit up at the telly. Like he'd never seen anything like it before. Audrey beamed. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.