Chapter Fifteen

"What's it like?"

Serana blinked as the redguard started to talk, looking over her shoulder to where Yosa'Min walked a little bit behind her. They weren't far from the western shore now, perhaps little more than an hour at the pace they were going. The trip had been certainly interesting, on top of the start with the run-in with Yosa'Min's friends, they'd also bumped into two patrols of Dawnguard and a group of khajiit traders. Now that they were just about there, the weariness from the journey was starting to show.

The redguard was used to walking long distances, as she'd always had a restless spirit and would enjoy finding new places and stories. For Serana however, it was a good jolt back to the real world. She would pass a place she remembered so long ago fresh and new, only to see it old and decrypted as the ages had had their go at the stonework. It made her feel a twinge of sadness as she came to realize more and more of the world was different. Even most of the simple small things were changed like the trees that swayed in the wind or the sheer amount of wear that could be seen on the roads, as if nothing from her old life was allowed to linger in the new day and age except herself.

She felt like a stranger, clinging to the one bit of the world she knew for fact and that was something she knew very little about. Since they'd left the marsh, Serana had kept Yosa'Min constantly within arm's reach. Yosa'Min had been rather good about staying close however, silent the majority of the way as they'd crossed through the Solitude hold Haafingar, only asking questions every so often. It felt rather impersonal, any hopes she'd had of getting the redguard to warm up to her again vanishing the longer they moved through the cold mountains northwest, curling around rocks and trees that would have been rather pretty if it weren't for the sun that was rising to their east from behind them, catching snow and frost and blinding the vampires with their reflections.

"What's what like?" Serana asked, encouraging the conversation and smiling a bit at Yosa'Min. The redguard's eyes were lowered however, and she didn't see it.

"The transformation, that... form you took back there," Yosa'Min clarified, "What's it like?"

Brow furrowing with a twinge of thought, Serana glanced back at the mountain path before them. "It's... different. It feels almost like an out-of-body experience actually, like you're watching yourself do what you do, but you are fully aware of everything. There's a haze, a fog in your mind, and it makes it hard to think. But at the same time, I can feel this... power just coursing through me." Serana shuddered as she felt a stirring of the strength, a roar echoing in her ears. "It also hurts, a lot, when I change."

Yosa'Min was silent for a few moments. "It looked like it."

Laughing a bit, Serana shook her head as they crested a hill. "Yeah, it did all right."

"So... How do you do it? Is it some spell or something else?"

"Something else," Serana said, "but I guess technically it's a spell. To transform, I have to focus on the monster within me. I have to draw it out, and then wrestle almost with it while I transform. It could go quite badly actually, if I can't maintain enough of myself in it, I might just attack the first person I see be them friend or foe."

Yosa'Min stiffened a bit, following along slowly. "How often do you lose the battle with your other half?"

"Only rarely, like when I'm emotionally disturbed going in. When I was learning though, it was more common."

"So like for me?"

Serana glanced back at her, catching fear flashing in the redguard's burning eyes. "Well I'll be there to guide you into it when it's time for you to learn how to transform," she promised, nodding her head.

Swallowing a bit dryly, the redguard spoke once more, "When will that be?"

Tilting her head with thought, Serana guided them around a sharp cliff, the Sea of Ghosts drawing closer now but the sun was raising higher behind them. She could see Yosa'Min squinting as the light reflecting off the snow soft snow was starting to hurt her eyes, and an uncomfortable shuffle of her clothes was enough to let Serana know they couldn't continue much further. "Let's find somewhere to hole up till evening," she suggested.

"We're almost there," Yosa'Min replied with a shake of her head, "I think I can see it even, I can make it." She pointed towards the north there there, the pathway curving down the mountainside to where the water met the ground far below them, cold lapping at the beaches. A shape like a castle loomed in the distance, shrouded in fog and standing atop sea spires.

There was a small sizzle in the air, and Serana stiffened instantly. She searched the redguard with her eyes, running up legs and arms to her black hair before she spotted the small smoke that rose from her exposed fingers. Serana grasped her hand and tugged the cringing redguard towards the closest bit of shade she could find, a small crevice in the mountain besides them. A protesting Yosa'Min was practically shoved into it, the crevice opening up a bit more to an extremely shallow cave that could have been an animal den in width, standing tall enough that Serana could stand at full height and the top of her head just breeze under the grey rock above her.

"I said I could make it!"

Serana snorted with a roll of her eyes, and then held out one hand. "Let me see," she ordered. The Dragonbron scowled, clutching her fingers close to her chest at first until her sire arched a brow and she placed her hands in the elder vampire's with a sigh. The skin around her knuckles looked morphed, burned and almost bubbled in some places. At each small shift of the skin, Yosa'Min gritted her teeth and sucked in a breath, voicing just how much it hurt for her fingers to move. "This is why I told you to wear gloves," Serana said, reaching into her pockets for something to help the newer vampire.

"You don't," Yosa'Min grumbled under her breath, but the elder easily heard it.

"That's because I've built up a resistance," said back the elder. She pulled a vial from her pocket, and offered it to the redguard who instantly scowled as she recognized it. Earlier that night they'd happened across another set of bandits, actually getting ambushed by the rouges while they'd been distracted. After a short battle, all but one of the bandits had been killed, and Serana suggested feeding off the sole survivor. Sated, she'd then drained what was left of him into a vial for later use, knowing full well it was unlikely they'd have such luck once more. "Come on," Serana said, "drink up it'll help you heal faster."

Frowning, Yosa'Min took it with her other hand and gulped its contents down. "Do normal healing methods no longer work for me?" She asked, cringing a bit as her hand began to feel tingly. "Like potions and the such?"

Serana sat down, back against the stone, and shook her head. "Not really, the effects can vary really depending on the potion but they usually don't do much else other than get you dizzy and high."

"So what like skooma or mead?"

"Exactly like that." Serana shrugged and gestured for the redguard to take a seat as well. "Come on, we've got a long wait ahead of us."

Yosa'Min obeyed, but her soured expression didn't change. "What's with the sudden change in pace? I thought we needed to get to your clan as soon as possible."

Serana didn't miss a beat, as if she'd been ready for the question. "We're far enough from your companions that I'm sure we'll be fine. And truth be told, I'm not all that excited about seeing my family again."

"Why not?"

Dipping her head with a small sigh, Serana bit her cheek for a moment before responding. "My father and I... Don't really get along." Yosa'Min was silent, waiting for her to elaborate. She'd not opened up much to the redguard, so perhaps it was at last time to. "My parents had a falling out and I'd always been a bit more of a mother's girl, and to be completely honest my father scared me as a child."

"I didn't know my father," Yosa'Min said as the nord had gotten quiet. "I hate him because of it actually. I think I'd give just about anything to have had a chance to meet him though, to speak with him just once."

Serana's lips drew into a sneer, fangs revealed as her eyes bore a hole into the ground. "I wish I'd never met mine, just known my mother instead of that monster..."

"Trust me Serana, no matter how terrible of a father he is, not knowing is worse." Their eyes met for a long moment, and then Serana dipped her head again with a small sigh. "So if you're parents fell out, do you think they still live there?"

"It's more likely not, and even more likely it's just my father there, waiting for... something. Maybe he knows I'm coming back, and maybe he was behind you finding your way there, who knows." Serana pulled her hood closer, hiding behind it.

Yosa'Min was silent as she listened, watching her sire. "I found my way to you because I'm a thief Serana," the redguard said, "I tried to rob a group of vampire hunters blind, and got caught and then as punishment I was sent to investigate that crypt. If I weren't so damn greedy I would still be mortal." Peaking out of her hood just a bit, orange orbs burning towards the redguard, Serana watched Yosa'Min speak. "If I had just told her the truth... I'd..." Brow furrowed, Yosa'Min had seemed to forget where she was or who she was talking with, suddenly absorbed into her thoughts. Her fingers curled around herself, clutching her sides with regret.

Shifting a bit towards her, Serana watched the redguard descend further and further into some grand mental pit, and moved to sit besides the fledgling. She tenderly wrapped an arm around Yosa'Min, and pulled her a bit against her, the soft mutterings of the redguard getting buried into the nord's side. "It's all right," she whispered into Yosa'Min's black hair. "I'm never going to judge you for what you did, that's not who you are anymore."

Stiff and rigid, the Dragonborn slowly relaxed against Serana's touch, the nord's hand stroking down her back in a calming manner. "Is it bad that I still wish I were though?" She quietly asked, Serana trying not to stiffen and simply shook her head. "Why not?"

"Because we all mourn what we've lost... I still do myself..."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do," Serana replied. "Now get some rest, we want to look our best when we meet the family don't we?" Sniffling a bit, the redguard nodded her head and curled against the nord, closing her eyes to sleep the way vampires did. A sad smile on her face, Serana leaned into the fledgling's touch and began to drift off herself.

Castle Volkihar towered above the two women, an arching bridge lined with gargoyles and laden with snow welcoming them to the foreboding place. A heavy constant snow whirled around them, the small thumps of the boat rocking against the dock behind them. As they walked towards the castle, passing a three story tower that overlooked the length of the island entrance, Serana walked closer and closer to the equally afraid redguard.

"Hey listen," Serana said, swallowing down the emotions rising in her body as she gazed at the stone castle before her, a gate of iron dropped at the end of the bridge. Yosa'Min turned to her, quietly listening. "When we go in there, I know that they'll accept you but I just want you to understand that not everybody I may know, meaning not everybody may respect that I'm your sire. And things maybe be different than I remember, so not everyone may be an ally."

"A pit fill of vipers?" Suggested the redguard.

"Something like that," agreed Serana. "Either way, just let me take the lead and do the talking okay?" Yosa'Min nodded her head. "Perfect." A smile grew across her face, and she walked a bit swifter to the gate.

An old mortal stood there, brown hair pulled behind his face that was riddled with wrinkles. "Lady Serana?" He gasped, rushing to the gate. "You're back?" Serana frowned, trying to see some young familiar face behind the mask of age, but couldn't make anything out. She didn't know the thrall. "Lady Serana it is you! You look just like that painting I'm sure! Let me let you in!" He turned and pulled on a chain, the gate retracting with a loud clattering sound.

"Uh thanks," she said, a bit unnerved, and then he opened the large wooden door for them to pass through. As they entered inside, they were instantly met with an altmer vampire with white hair who had happened to be nearby. He stood in the entrance way, a large gargoyle standing to his left while a column of light filtered in through a window above it.

He ran right towards them, stopping only a breath away with shock in his burning eyes. "Lady Serana!" He gasped.

"Vingalmo," Serana dipped her head, "You look good."

"I can't believe my eyes," he continued, nodding his head and hardly even noticing the redguard who had followed the lost vampire princess inside. "I must tell everyone at once!" Before either women could say anything, the mer turned and rushed to a balcony through the archway leading into the rest of the castle. The pair exchanged glances as he shouted, "Lord Harkon! Everyone! Lady Serana has returned!"

Shrugging, Serana led Yosa'Min after him, and instantly they were met with a large banquet hall, tables laden with silver and blood tankards lining it while an even larger and finer table rested on a slightly raised platform across from them. There were archways and chandeliers, vampires lingering about everywhere while mortal thralls tended to their wishes or were feasted upon. Yosa'Min's eyes widened as she realized just what sort of a clan she'd walked into, one powerful and deadly. She swept her gaze around the room, counting eleven vampires already present, and perhaps there were more about the castle grounds.

Shadowy black dogs with faces of monstrous make prowled the room, tendrils of darkness following in their quake. A stench of must and blood assaulted Yosa'Min's senses, and she had to take a moment to get adjusted, hardly hearing Serana as she went down the curving steps to the floor below, several doors and two other balconies before them. From the looks of things, they'd just interrupted a meal.

"My long lost daughter returns," the vampire standing in the center with robes like Serana on him, Yosa'Min assuming it was Serana's father Harkon, "at last." He had a hand up like he was making a toast, a goblet of blood held within it. "I trust you have my elder scroll?"

Serana moved swiftly towards him, an angry stride as she approached him and pulled the magical artifact off her back. "Really? That's the first thing you ask me after all this time?" Her words were quickly made, as if she were trying to watch her tongue but hardly able to. "Yes I have it," she rolled her eyes, holding it in front of her but not quiet offering it to him as he approached her.

Harkon shook his head with a frustrated scowl that was quickly wiped from his face, and grasped her shoulders and gave her a warm shake. "Of course I'm pleased to see you my daughter, must I say it aloud? If only your traitor mother were here to see that radiant beauty you are," he had a dark joy in his burning eyes that made Yosa'Min's spine run cold, "before I put her head on a spike."

Suddenly he turned to look at the redguard, releasing his daughter's shoulders and stepping towards her with a gesture of his hand. "Who is this stranger you bring before me my dear? I can smell our kind upon her, but I know not of her."

Serana stepped between them, shielding the nervous redguard slightly from her father's burning gaze. "This is Yosa'Min, my fledgling." The whispers that had already sprung up around the court erupted into a louder babble until Harkon himself had to silence them with a wave of his hand.

"You have been freed for only a few days, and you have already gone and turned some mortal?" Her father demanded, coming off harsher than Yosa'Min had expected. She flinched, her bravado falling under the harsh gaze of the Volkihar clan. "You have always been a wild spirit."

"Yosa'Min awoke me, she is the one that freed me. In reward, I turned her," Serana said firmly, daring any of the others in the court to argue with her. Yosa'Min knew that wasn't the truth, not exactly anyways, but she couldn't help but like the sounds of that more than Serana admitting she'd attacked Yosa'Min in a wild frenzy and nearly killed her.

Harkon stared right into the fledgling's gaze, and she stood a bit taller in response, trying not to be such an obvious whelp in front of them. A toothy grin drew across his face, black beard making him look a bit more like a cat about to pounce than welcoming. "I see then, you have my thanks for finding my beloved daughter Yosa'Min." She nodded her head mutely. "Serana, has your fledgling had any proper training? I can only assume you made haste to return to your home as soon as you were released from whatever held you captive for all these centuries."

"Centuries?" She gasped softly.

"Aye my dear, centuries. I searched and searched, every vampire in my court was sent to the farthest of lengths but to no avail, I could not find you." There was a hint of sincerity in his voice as he spoke, Yosa'Min spotting how Serana was torn between how to react to her father. "I'd nearly given up hope."

Serana's voice was a bit hard when she replied, "I wasn't that far father, just down in a mountain nearby." Her arms were crossed, the elder scroll once more on her back. He pouted faintly, as if hurt. Sighing, Serana shook her head. "May I show Yosa'Min to where she may rest, it was a bit of a tiresome journey."

He shook his head. "First take her to the shrine and teach her, see if she is ready to embrace her full self. Afterwards she may rest."

Refusing, Serana stepped back from him. "Father, Yosa'Min isn't even a week old, how can you expect her to be ready to transform?"

"She is the spawn of my daughter, that is how," he said swiftly, "any vampire in my clan, much more so of my lineage, is to be powerful."

They stared at each other, Yosa'Min steadily feeling more like a pawn in some grand game instead of a player herself. The daughter dipped her head after a long moment, and gestured to her fledgling to follow her. Yosa'Min was silent as Serana led her up a set of stairs to the left, heading up to the right where they split and then up another set to the left, following them upwards and deeper into the castle.

As they left the others' gazes, her back began to burn less and less. Soon Serana led her into a large chamber riddled with debris and bones, platforms, stairs and balconies across it like a church of sorts. Dead ahead in a circular area, was a shrine of daedric make, blood pouring constantly out of it into a bath about to waist height, dripping off the edges to where it ran right through again in a continual cycle. Yosa'Min's gaze was captured by it, a deep stirring inside her chest as Serana led her towards it.

They stopped about a foot from it, Yosa'Min staring intently as it seemed to draw her further and further in. She reached out, running her hand along the surface as the red tide ebbed. She could hear Serana speaking to her from her side, trying to draw her attention, but something about the shrine drew her in. It wasn't until a pale hand was hovering above her own that she was broken from the spell.

"I'm sorry, what?" She gasped, looking to Serana who had an almost pained expression on her face.

"It's the shrine to Molag Bal," Serana said, seemingly having repeated herself. "The creator of the vampire race."

Frowning as she tried to follow along, Yosa'Min gazed into the face on the statue that reminded her almost of the form Serana had taken. "He created the vampires? Is he like a god to vampires then?"

"To some," Serana lifted her chin a bit, gazing into it coldly as well. She glanced back behind them, as if to check and make sure there was no one listening in to them. "My father for example, worships Molag Bal greatly. He sacrificed a thousand souls to him and threw my mother and I to Molag Bal's mercy to become a vampire lord, to escape death." The venom on her words and the way her fingers were curling into the lip of the pool, tips stained red the longer she held onto it, shocked Yosa'Min. There was a unique kind of anger on the elder vampire's face that worried the fledgling.

"I take it you don't like Molag Bal much," Yosa'Min quietly said.

"No, and neither should you."

A shrug rolled off Yosa'Min's shoulders. "I've never been one for gods and masters."

Slowly a smile drew across Serana's face, and she gave a small pat to the redguard's shoulders before she stepped away from the shrine and the pooling blood. "Come now, let's see if you're ready." She stood now in the center of the room, waiting for the fledgling to follow who did so swiftly. "Close your eyes," she ordered, Yosa'Min obeying instantly. "Focus on yourself, dip inside for that monster dying to come out. It's clawing, right now it's trying to get out and take control."

Yosa'Min gritted her teeth, hands clenched as she tried to focus on this beast she was supposed to feel. But there was nothing, for once she felt entirely at peace with herself, no terrifying monster inside trying to free itself. "I can't feel anything," she said, eyes still closed.

"Come on, try a bit harder," urged Serana.

Fingers clenching and unclenching over and over again, the redguard tried to dig deeper into herself. Her chest grew heavy as she did so, a gnawing sensation building up from below slowly as she continued. There was something there, she could begin to feel it, a swirl that was turning into a fire from below. Her breathing slowed a bit, Serana watching with hope as the redguard's form began to hunch a bit. "There you go, do you feel it? That ache, that thirst? That terrifying power deep within? Focus on it, concentrate. Bring it out into the light, let the beast taste blood and air."

The redguard took in a sharp breath, something popping into her mind and filling her thoughts. It felt monstrous, but not the type Serana wanted. It was hot and passionate, roaring fire and power. A deafening scream filled her ears and her vision turned to hot black swirls, every bit of her body fighting against another. Her legs gave out beneath her, and she fell to the ground, Serana catching her before her face met the stone. Sweat dripped down her brow, the redguard's eyes opening as the pain grew too much to bare yet she seemed blind to the world around her. "Yosa?" Serana asked, the woman in her arms shuddering and shaking in fits that were only growing worse.

"She hasn't transformed yet?" A cold voice cut in, Serana looking up from the convulsing redguard to where her father stood at the entrance to the shrine, disappointment on his face.

"No, and you can't blame her," Serana defended hotly, pulling Yosa'Min closer to her to try to calm her. "She's not even a week old father, what do you expect?"

"Supremacy," he said watching the twitching woman. Harkon's gaze narrowed, noting the way his daughter held onto Yosa'Min and his lips curled a bit in disgust. "When she is done with... whatever she is doing, take her to Garan Marethi and tell him it is time."

Hissing in return, Serana tried to calm Yosa'Min without making her look weak before her father. "Immediately? Not even a moment to recover?"

Harkon took one step, and then he was suddenly at Serana's side, catching her by surprise, and wrenched the Dragonborn from her grasp to hold her by what remained of her hair in the air. Serana gasped, terror rooting her in place as her father sneered at the convulsing woman who hardly seemed aware of what was going on. "This? This is what you chose to sire?" He looked at his daughter incredulously.

"Father you don't understand, she's just too fresh is all. You know what happens when you push a fledgling too fast, they break and die!" She swiftly said, wishing she could jump and free Yosa'Min from him but knew that would only make things worse. Harkon was holding Yosa'Min in the air with one arm with ease, the woman's thrashing having been reduced to little more than small jerks. He let her feet brush the stone floor, and then tossed her to his daughter, Serana catching Yosa'Min with relief, and pulling her towards her chest as if she were trying to shield the redguard from Harkon's burning gaze.

He loomed towards his daughter. "You know exactly what I expect from my clan," he threatened, "and your fledgling doesn't look quite made for us right now either. If she doesn't prove to have some worth to me, I will purge this castle of her filth myself." Serana swallowed dryly. "Do I make myself clear Serana?"

Grip tightening on the redguard, Serana nodded her head. "Yes father, crystal," she gritted.

"Good," he said, turning and walking out. "I'd hate to have to be rid of your first fledgling so quickly." A dark laugh echoed in the shrine as he departed.

Letting out the breath she'd been holding, Serana looked down at where Yosa'Min was stirring. Her worry ebbed to a smaller degree, and she brushed the stray hairs from Yosa'Min's brow. "Hey," she cooed. "You scared me there."

"Gods, what happened?" Muttered Yosa'Min, body aching all over.

"You tell me," replied Serana.

"I..." Yosa'Min trailed off, brow furrowed as she realized she was practically being cradled by the nord. She stiffened a bit as she realized, trying to get out of the hold but found her body didn't quite want to listen to her again. "I have no idea. One second I was trying to transform and then everything hurt and now..."

"You tried too soon is all," Serana said, shaking her head. "I knew you weren't ready but father wouldn't hear otherwise. We need to speak with someone, and we need to keep my father pleased."

Frowning as her mind was still rather muddled, Yosa'Min asked, "Why?"

Shaking her head, Serana wished she could say anything else but knew that lying would only make things worse. "Because if we don't prove to him that you'll be an asset... He'll kill you."