Her tears refused to desist, even as she fell into a trance as she tallied body after body. It was most certainly what Nanao's rag was for, she thought after she tied the musty triangle over her face. Though Nanao grieved their massive losses, she wasn't quite so selfless. She couldn't bring herself to care for charred shapes or smears or pincushions or pieces of, she had exhausted all of her care except for but a handful after that man left, and a part of that handful had left her broken-hearted with his self-loathe.

His hurt left a hole in her, the exact mirror of his own.

Izuru had been cruel in the past, like she could be accusatory and like Renji could be cold and like Shuuhei could be passive-aggressive, but Aizen was a taboo subject for them. Aizen wasn't something to be mentioned unless she brought it up, and he especially hadn't called her delusional or implied fault on her end in the past.

She replayed it over and over again, she simply couldn't stop, and it felt like that hole grew each and every time she restarted it. She didn't wail, but she didn't cease either. She may dry up at that rate.

Part of her, the part still needy for love, hoped she did.

Hours passed, and then hours more. She was grateful that she was left virtually alone to be lost in her work. The scene she caused in the tents most likely known by most of the Seireitei by then. Those last few days felt like a continuous existence instead of new days. It wasn't nice to lose herself among the corpses of fallen allies, but it was a distraction. It was all that she could do.

"I hope you just forgot to sign out the last two days."

She squawked as her heart launched into her throat. She spun around and nearly slapped her brother, but somehow refrained. "You need to stop sneaking up on people! It's rude and you know better!" She snapped.

"I didn't sneak, I've been here for the last ten minutes. You just don't pay attention." Toushirou told her as he crossed his arms.

"Don't you have other things to do instead of bug me? Like captain duties?" She scoffed.

"Yes, but I haven't slept in three days. I know you may think otherwise, but I'm not immortal. And neither are you." He said. "Truthfully, I've come to fetch you since you're totally incapable of taking care of yourself. Let's get some food and some rest- captain's orders. Yes, your captain's orders."

She rolled her eyes as she followed her brother. "I can take care of myself just fine, thank you."

"Being able to cook doesn't count if you hardly eat, and it doesn't pertain to rest. So I'm more right."

"You're obnoxious." She grumbled.

"Although true, I'm assuming it doesn't bother you if my teeth are still in my gums." He said as he looped his arm around her waist.

Part of her missed their banter, she thought as she held Toushirou's shoulders. She missed the simplicity of the Rukongai, but it was a distant memory and an impossibility to ever attain such purity again. She was too damaged and he was too jaded. But it was nice to be close to her brother again, to be held by his sympathetic grip. He had always taken better care of her than she ever herself, and though part of her hated how dependent she was on other people, she knew he felt guilty that he never say her fifteen years of torment, that he even liked her tormentor. Anything to bring a little comfort to him.

Their arms fell as they approached more populated areas. They were still leaders with images to maintain. Though, it was sparser than normal. It was midshift though, so she guessed most people counted, cleaned, or rebuilt.

She and Toushirou sat on an end table, far from any other activity. They had never been at the center of any group- he always an outcast, and she too long removed from normal relationships to remember how to mingle with the masses. She had the handful that she needed; Toushirou, Rangiku, Nanao, Hirako, her boys.

Sans Izuru, which made her tears start afresh.

Toushirou certainly heard about the scene she caused at the tents. She wondered if he was there to perform some damage control and provide comfort in his own, awkward way. He never liked her lovers after Aizen, but he understood how much they meant to her. He understood when he boys hurt, she hurt. He understood his meddlesome habits were hurtful, but also that his presence itself soothed her.

"He'll start missing you guys as soon as he's done throwing his tantrum and come back and apologize." Toushirou assured her. "I just wish he'd do it sometime soon. Outorishibashi hasn't stopped meaning about this since Kurotsuchi de-zombified him."

"I feel like moaning about it too, so I don't blame him." She murmured.

"It's not your fault, Hinamori. You didn't blow a hole through him."

No, but she had scared him off, twice then. He must feel like an abomination. "I hit him…." She said.

"Three times, from what I've heard. But I've heard that he deserved it. He's only got one lung now, so what? Taking out his misery on you makes him no better than Aizen."

Her nostrils flared as she sighed. When would that man finally die in everyone's memory so she could let him die in her heart?

Still, Toushirou was right. Had Izuru really expected them to just not love him anymore because of his body? Had he really thought cruelty would've terminated their love when she put up with Aizen's for years? Had he really thought she would've just thrown him aside like a filthy ragdoll like Aizen and Ichimaru and Tousen did to them?

It was just another bump in their relationship and they'd weather it out. She would make sure of that.

"Get some rest, alright?" She told her brother as she stood. She couldn't eat anymore, though she had only cleaned half of her tray.

"You too, Hinamori." Toushirou said.

She, of course, didn't follow instructions and went right back to work.

At least she didn't need the rag. She was glad all those tears had been worked out. She hated when she was emotional at work. Technically, she hated her emotions period, but her boys made it easier. When her boys kissed her, when they laid with her and let her play with their hair, it wasn't as achey because she could feel their love with her misery.

She was suddenly plucked out of the neck-deep rubble she searched through. Shuuhei pecked her on her cheek as he hauled her onto her onto the huge slab held up by rubar and other debris.

"He's back." He whispered to her. "He and Renji had a long heart-to-heart the way he and Renji have their heart-to-hearts, and anytime you're ready to talk, we should do so."

Shuuhei's announcement made her heart do some strange up and downs. It terrified her, because she was scared she would do the wrong thing and scare him away again. Part of her wanted to storm over to him and scold her blue-eyed lover for his cruelty to her but she assumed Renji had chewed off his ear enough. She wanted to run back to him and kiss him until he had no choice but to proclaim his love for her.

"I…" she cleared her throat, "it's hard for me to feel him. Take me to him. Please?"

Shuuhei picked her up by the back of her knees. He was faster than she was, with his long stride and superior hakuda. That was alright, though. She was better in bed and her kidou was nearly unsurpassable by anybody but a handful of other shinigami. Her boys may be better warriors, but she was the best spellcaster.

Izuru and Renji were in a cleared spot. Not of debris, not yet, but of counted and collected bodies which gave them privacy. She felt awful to shirk her duties, but she could make it short and sweet. They had all the time in the world with those bastards finally dead.

Izuru looked down at her. There was that sad gaze, she thought.

"I didn't mean all those things about… you and that man. I know that doesn't mean much now, and it doesn't change that I was in the wrong, but I hope you can forgive me." Izuru said. There was a lowness in his tone he got when he felt guilty.

She reached to hold his face. She feared he would slink away from her touch, or grab her hands and toss them aside again. But he leaned into her palms like they were his only support. Her shoulders trembled as he sobbed without tears, and he collected her in his arms. Renji and Shuuhei soon followed suit and they held each other.

It was a promise a thing like marriage could never live up to. We are here for you. We won't leave you. We love you, thick and thin.