"If I Can't Love Her"
He knew himself a villain—but he deem'd
The rest no better than the thing he seem'd;
And scorn'd the best as hypocrites who hid
Those deeds the bolder spirit plainly did.
He knew himself detested, but he knew
The hearts that loath'd him, crouch'd and dreaded too.
Lone, wild, and strange, he stood alike exempt
From all affection and from all contempt …
~ Lord Byron, The Corsair (I, XI)
Katara was not aware that she had fallen asleep until she woke up. She realized it must have been much later in the day, almost evening now. And what a day had transpired. Had it only been that morning when Jet proposed to her? Katara huffed at the irony: that seemed the least dramatic event that had taken place today.
There was a knock at her door. Katara looked up warily. She did not want to face the Blue Spirit again; but he had mentioned something about servants. "Who is it?" she called quietly.
"Yue, Princess of the Northern Water Tribe."
Intrigued, Katara went over and opened the door. But there was no one in the hallway.
"Ah—down here," a voice piped up. Katara looked down at the floor, and was startled to see a teapot and a matching teacup at her feet.
"Iroh thought you might like some tea," Yue said, hopping into her room.
"But—but—you're a—" Katara backed away, and bumped into the tall wardrobe.
"Ow!" the wardrobe yelped. "Careful there."
Katara sank to the floor. "This is impossible," she said, almost whispering.
"Yeah—but here we are. I'm Suki, by the way," the wardrobe informed her.
"Oh, sorry … I thought you knew," Yue said sheepishly. "About the talking thing."
Katara shrugged. Actually, considering all the crazy things that had happened to her today, she was ready to believe almost anything.
"I'm Aang," the teacup piped up.
"Nice to meet you," Katara said.
Yue leaned over and poured tea out her spout into Aang. "Help yourself."
Katara felt a little awkward picking up the animated teacup; but the tea tasted good, and soothed her throat, which had been raw from crying.
"I met your brother, when he came here," Yue said softly. "I liked him."
"That was a brave thing you did," Suki told Katara.
"We all think so," Aang agreed.
"But now I've lost him," Katara said mournfully.
"I have a feeling you'll see him again," Suki said.
Aang looked at her from Katara's hand. "Have you been taking lessons from Aunt Wu?"
"So … are you the princess of this castle?" Katara asked Yue, both conversational and curious.
"Oh, no," Yue said. "I'm just a guest here." Yue looked nostalgically around the room. "This was my room when I first came here," she said wistfully. It was a good thing, she reflected, that it still had all her clothes and furnishings—it would help Katara feel at home.
Katara looked mystified. "But … you're a teapot. How …" Katara trailed off.
Yue looked at her with sad eyes. The enchantment made its victims incapable of telling anyone about it, though they could talk about it amongst themselves alone. But if Katara could figure it out on her own, then she might understand what she must do.
But then … what if she did find out what her role was? She might withdraw from the Blue Spirit, or she might actually try to love him. Either way, it wouldn't be love true enough to break the spell.
Yue looked embarrassed. "Oh, I'm rambling on when there's a dinner to prepare for. Well, I'll leave you to get ready." She turned to leave, but then hesitated, glancing back at Katara. "I want you to know … you're not alone. If there's anything we can do—or if you just want someone to talk to – we're here for you."
Katara smiled with gratitude. "Thank you."
Yue smiled back and slipped out the door, leaving Katara to wonder about the strange castle with a masked master and animated household objects who talked as though they had once been human.
Suki's voice interrupted her troubled thoughts. "So, we need to figure out what you'll wear for dinner." She opened her doors, revealing an array of blue clothing – light dresses for summer, long-sleeved shirts for winter, skirts and tunics and leggings, a hooded poncho cloak, a thick fur parka, and a few fancier dresses. "Hm, maybe a little formal … how about this?"
"That's very kind of you," Katara said, not sure if she felt happy or sad about the new attire, "but I won't be going to dinner."
Suki's eyes widened. "Oh, but you must!"
But Katara shook her head. That Blue Spirit or whatever he was could take away her freedom, but that didn't mean she had to obey his every whim. Besides, she didn't think she could stand to be with him, if he expected her to act civilly toward him. She could not feign respect or friendliness where she felt none.
A walking telescope appeared in the door way, clearing his throat. "Ahem. Dinner is served," he informed them.
When the Mother of Faces first named the terms of the curse, it had seemed daunting but not impossible. There was Yue, obviously, and there were female servants, like Suki and Ty Lee. But of course it would not be that easy; the Mother of Faces eliminated them as choices by turning them, along with all the other servants and guests, into household objects. It would have to be someone from outside the castle, who didn't know the truth, whose first impression of the Blue Spirit would be his enchanted form.
That seemed impossible. Until now.
If Iroh had possessed hands, he would have been wringing them; instead he pressed the tips of his candlesticks together. "Nephew … I'm sure you've realized … this girl, she could be the one to break the spell."
"Of course I have," the Blue Spirit snapped. "I'm not an idiot, Uncle."
"Good," Iroh said approvingly.
"I'm so excited," Aang said, bouncing up and down on the table. "You fall in love with her, she falls in love with you, and—poof—we'll be human again by morning!"
Iroh looked at the teacup sadly. "Oh, it's not that easy, Aang."
"These things take time," Yue explained gently. "In normal cases, you can't make up your mind to fall in love with someone. But obviously this isn't a normal case. If you want it to be real …" She paused.
"Go on," The Blue Spirit said testily.
"Well, to start with, try just being her friend," Yue suggested. "Talk to her. She might not open up to you right away—in fact, I would be surprised if she did. But try to be nice, gain her trust, get her to be comfortable with you."
"Remember, you'll catch more spider-flies with honey than with vinegar," Iroh advised.
The Blue Spirit smacked his hand on the forehead of his mask. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"He means, if you want her to like you, just be nice to her," Yue translated.
"But above all," Iroh began.
"You must control your temper!" Iroh and Yue said together.
Aang frowned. "Is that it, or is there more?"
There was a rustling outside the dining room. "Here she comes," Iroh said in an excited, hushed voice. The Blue Spirit stood up tall, looking expectantly at the door.
The door slid open, but instead of Katara, Arnook peeked in through the larger end of his scope. "Ah—good evening," he said nervously, trying to appear casual.
The Blue Spirit's shoulders sagged. "Where is she?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"Oh—the girl." Arnook shuffled his tripod legs. "Well, actually, she's in the process of … ah … circumstances being what they are … um …" Arnook was a terrible liar, and they all knew it. Finally he said sadly, "She's not coming."
There was a moment of shocked silence. Then the Blue Spirit roared. "What?" Arnook hurried to get out of the way as the Blue Spirit sprinted out of the room. The three monarchs hurried after him, up the stairs and down the hall to the guest bedroom.
The Blue Spirit pounded on the door. "I thought I told you to come down to dinner!"
"I'm not hungry!" Katara retorted.
The Blue Spirit was taken back for a moment. He wasn't used to being defied so openly. "You come out now, or I'll—I'll—I'll break down the door!" he threatened.
Iroh spoke tentatively. "Nephew, I could be wrong, but that might not be the best way to win the girl's affections. Please, try to act like a gentleman."
The Blue Spirit gestured to the door. "But she's being so difficult!" he hissed.
"Gently … gently," Yue said soothingly.
The Blue Spirit forced himself to take a deep breath. Then he spoke calmly to the door. "Will you come down to dinner?"
"No!" Katara said stubbornly.
The Blue Spirit looked expectantly at Iroh and Yue, pointing at the door. "Hmm?"
"Be suave, genteel," Iroh coached.
The Blue Spirit grit his teeth. "It would give me great pleasure … if you would join me for dinner."
"Say 'please,'" Yue said softly.
He hesitated. "Please?"
"No, thank you!" Katara replied.
The Blue Spirit lost his temper again. "You can't stay in there forever!" he yelled.
"Yes, I can!"
"Fine! Then go ahead and starve!" The Blue Spirit screamed at the door. He turned to Iroh and Yue, seething. "If she doesn't eat with me, then she doesn't eat at all!" he ordered them. Then he stormed down the hallway and slammed the door that lead to the Dragon Bone Catacombs.
"Oh dear," Yue sighed. "That didn't go well at all, did it?"
Arnook turned to Iroh. "Iroh, stand guard and alert us if there is the slightest change."
Iroh bowed in salute. "You can count on me, Chief." The others left him pacing outside the door.
The Blue Spirit stormed into his private quarters, knocking over furniture and scorching the wall in frustration.
"Well, how did it go?" a female voice called out, feigning cheer.
"Shut up, Azula!" He banged the door to the organ room closed. "I ask nicely, but she refuses!" he fumed. "What a … What does she want me to do? Beg?"
He turn around and came over to a small table that had only two objects on it: a beautifully crafted mirror, and a glass case containing the glowing fire lily floating in midair. Both objects were souvenirs of the day the curse was placed upon the castle.
The Blue Spirit picked up the mirror uncertainly. He had never used it before, as he had never had a need to know what others were doing, and anyway he hated to see his reflection. But now all it showed was the mask he wore.
"Show me the girl," he said gruffly.
The mirror's glass shined, then glowed green. Instead of showing the Blue Spirit's reflection, the image swirled and showed the girl and her wardrobe.
"He's not so bad once you get to know him," Suki encouraged kindly. "Why don't you give him a chance?"
Katara sniffed. "I don't want to get to know him," she huffed. "I don't want anything to do with him."
The Blue Spirit was surprised at how much those words hurt him. What did he expect? Now that she had gotten over her shock and fear, she hated him.
He hadn't realized how the girl's arrival had given him hope, for the first time. But it was quickly shattered again, leaving him even more frustrated and miserable than he had been before.
"Who am I kidding?" the Blue Spirit muttered, lowering the mirror. "I'm just fooling myself. She'll never see me as anything but a monster."
As he watched, another wilting petal fell off the fire lily, fluttered down and landed on the table.
The Blue Spirit set the mirror face-down on the table, looking away. "It's hopeless."