Chapter Twenty-Seven

The world was silent, complete and utter quiet surrounding the two forms that stood in the snowy mountainous path. They stared at one another, glowing orange eyes taking in every detail of the other as the silence dragged on. No creature dared make themselves known as the beings of night resided nearby. The stars glittered above them like gems, not a cloud in the sky to obscure the two moons that slowly lumbered their way across the canvas. Pine trees laden with snow spotted the area around them, small bushes and patches of grass littering the ground while the cobblestone road split in two, one path leading north while the other curved around a mountain to the southeast. Everything was tranquil, the Skyrim night at peace for once as luna moths danced on by out of reach and safe from the creatures.

However, the longer one waited, the more they'd realize that the silence wasn't exactly peaceful in truth. Tension ran heavy in the air, thick as blood and enough to choke on. Anger broiled beneath the stone expressions of the two vampires, moonlight displaying their faces well enough for a mortal to have no trouble seeing them. They had stood there for seemingly all of eternity, simply waiting for one of them to say it first.

It was the sire that spoke first. "I can't believe you!" She snarled, shattering the world around them.

"What!" The shorter one snapped back, defensive and upset, not even bothering to mask it before Serana. "What's to not believe?"

"I told you not to interact with your past and you kissed it on the sodding lips!"

The redguard hissed with anger, Yosa'Min narrowing her eyes up at Serana. "Well it's not like I plan on seeing her again if that makes you any happier!"

With a huff, Serana shook her head. "It doesn't matter what makes me happy! I'm not doing this because I want you for myself Yosa'Min, I'm doing it to protect you. Those two mortals pose a greater threat to you than you'd imagine."

"Oh please do share," Yosa'Min sassed, stepping towards her sire with violence still curling on her lips. Her body was tingling, every last nerve she had set on fire from what had transpired. Her mind still hadn't fully realized what exactly that was yet either. "Because as you know I'm all yours anyways."

"You're changing," Serana said, the anger restrained in her voice but Yosa'Min could easily still detect it. "You're more out there than when I met you. Perhaps I just didn't really know you though."

"Of course you didn't," Yosa'Min snarled, "you'd just turned me into a monster of the night! How was I supposed to take it- with a basket full of flowers and a big grin on my face? I didn't ask for this!"

"Well neither did I!"

Yosa'Min grew silent, recoiling at the sound of her sire. Serana's eyes were narrowed into slits, her body tensed and on the verge of action. Just what action she would take, Yosa'Min wasn't certain. The redguard dipped her head submissively, her anger evaporating under the hard glare of her sire. "I'm sorry Serana," she half-whispered, "I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean that."

She lingered in her anger for a few moments before Serana sighed, nerves slowly calming down. "It's okay..." She said, "I know you didn't ask for it, I can't blame you for being angry about that when I am myself. I wish I could have given you a choice, I really do Yosa."

"Maybe it's for the best I didn't have a say." Confused, Serana's brow furrowed and she gave the redguard who wasn't explaining a long look. "What I mean," Yosa'Min tried to clarify, one arm grasping her elbow as she ducked her head, "is if I had a choice I would have said no. You and I both know that. But what would I have returned to?"

"Those friends of yours seem quite loyal... You would have had them."

Bitterly laughing, the redguard shook her head and stepped towards where the mountain sloped away towards the shore. She could still see them both down there, Vex and Mjoll reeling in the events of the night besides the boat. They were probably trying to figure out what to do next, and their determination was quite impressive but now it only frustrated Yosa'Min. "Those two hate each other more than a vampire hates the sun," she said with a snicker. "They're from two different worlds and they both want something from me. They both want me to be someone that I no longer am."

"How so?"

"Mjoll, the one I uh... kissed... Well she isn't a fan of thieves. Something I was. I tried to change for her once but I guess I'm a creature of habit. I get hooked, I stick around for a while, then something chases me to something new."

"Is that what this is?"

Looking back at her, Yosa'Min frowned deeply. Serana stood basked in moonlight, pain masked behind her glowing gaze but the Dragonborn could still see it. "What do you mean?" She asked though the woman knew very well what her sire intended with that particular question.

Stepping towards her with her chin raised slightly, the nord gestured down the mountainside to where the mortals were. "Are you just waiting for something to chase you to the next thing in life? Is this just some temporary thing? Does any of this really matter then? Do I?"

"Serana of course you matter."

"It hasn't really seemed that way."

Bristling slightly, the redguard moved closer to Serana, the distance having been closed now to less than an arm between them. "Didn't you hear me down there? I'd rather follow you then go back to them. I swore my allegiance to you! I have a purpose with you Serana, and I refuse to lose it again like I have before."

"But that's just the thing isn't it?" Serana argued, "If you've regained a purpose then that means that you had another one in the past didn't you? You keep losing and finding a new one. How long will it be before you find something else that suits you?"

"It's not like that!" Yosa'Min spat back, bristling faster than the sire anticipated, Serana stepping back slightly. "I lost my purpose when I killed Alduin and found there was nothing left in the world for me that I cared about! They made me to be a great and mighty hero but they never said what happened next. Tell me Serana, what does a hero do when they've completed their quest? When they've won the great victory? Go and live happily ever after, maybe raise a family and build a farm out in the countryside or relax on their mountain of treasure? Because I didn't have that, trust me. I killed a dragon and came back to nothing."

Hissing tightly through clenched teeth, Serana glowered down at her fledgling. "You think that it was easy for me to figure out what I was either? I just woke up after centuries and I am trying to figure out what I am supposed to be in this new world. I'm a sire now! I have to take care of you and yet serve my father when there isn't even a shadow of the man I knew left in him. Right now I'm not even sure who you're really listening to anymore."

"I beg your pardon!"

"Tell me Yosa," growled Serana, "do you serve me, my father, or yourself."

"What?" She gawked, "How could you possibly think that? Why can't you just believe that what I'm saying is true! Why do you suddenly doubt me?" Demanded Yosa'Min, fingers curled at her side as her heart ached in fury and yearning. She'd already felt as if she'd failed her sire, and to have done it again made her wish to bury herself beneath the ground. "I'm loyal to you and only you Serana! You're my Lady!"

"Because I know you're a liar Yosa!" Shouted back Serana, looming over the short redguard before she straightened up and gave her a cold look. "And because you're no longer you."

Startled, the redguard stepped back, unable to hide how that made her feel. "What do you mean?" She croaked.

"You attacked your friends Yosa..."

"They were a threat! They're following us and you said that's a bad thing so I was trying to stop it! If they stay away then they're safe, us as well!"

Serana softened some, shaking her head with a sad sigh but her anger was still plain to see on her face. "You stopped me once when I was hurting them, but now you've struck the blows yourself. You are changing and it worries me."

Shaking her head, fingers curling with rising fear, the redguard replied, "Aren't you supposed to know all this? Know what's going to happen?"

"I've never sired before... It's not like they teach you these things, especially not my father. All that I know is what I've learned observing others or have heard, so I'm sorry if I'm not as good a sire as what you require."

They grew quiet again, a thickness in the air that felt a bit different. Emotions were still running high, but both women were trying to reel themselves in. Negative thoughts plagued both of their minds, Yosa'Min wrapping her arms around herself as she processed what was said. The crickets began to sing, the only sound in the night as they simply stared at each other. After some time the redguard dared break the calm, but unlike before it wasn't with anger but apprehension. "Serana..." She whispered, "What all did Vex and Mjoll say that was true?"

"I'm not sure." The question was on her lips, but Yosa'Min was almost too afraid to ask it. "I've been gone for so long and haven't had time to ask these questions myself. Things might have changed since I was locked away."

Glowing orange eyes burned into the nord. "What about the cure?"

Clicking her tongue with mild frustration, Serana shrugged. "I don't know anymore. When I was locked away there was none but that was so long ago. Mortals are tenacious things, I wouldn't be surprised if someone tried to find a cure in all that time that has passed but as far as I know there is no such thing. I could be wrong though, I just wouldn't want to get your hopes up and it turn out there isn't any..." She looked back at the redguard, spotting a flicker of... hope in her eyes.

"Do you want to be cured?"

The question was heavy, as if Serana had just dropped a mountain atop the redguard and expected her to dig her way out. It had been something that had been on Yosa'Min's mind since she had woken up in that shack a monster, a yearning in her heart and ache in her soul. She hated what she was, reviled every last molecule of this being she'd become. Her body felt as if it belonged to another, her soul only occupying it because it had no place else to go. Mentally she recalled everything she missed about mortality, trying to discern what she truly desired.

Heartbeats and rushes of warmth, the sensation of the sun dancing across her skin, wrapping her in strength and life. The feel of cold breath entering her lungs, filling her with spirit and hope or the chilling taste of ice in the air. She missed the sounds of the city, of the people that dwelled within and their vibrancy of life. Her heart yearned to be in Archer's saddle, racing through the birch trees or in the open plains, an arrow strung as she took aim at her target. Images of dinners around a table with warm smiles slipped by in her mind's eye, the joy of the times and the smell of mead and home cooked meals.

She thought of all those in her past, the ones she'd fallen in love with and they her, the nights spent together and the arguments as things crumpled apart. Lydia and Iona snuck their way into her stormy mind, their care and kindness beacons in her dark times. Vex's shimmering amber eyes and platinum hair flashed through next, the harshness of her laugh and cries of fury swimming upwards before being shattered with the thunder of Vex's dedication and loyalty. Mjoll blazed through her mind like a fire, her accented voice echoing words they'd shared in private intimate moments, her strong arms wrapped around Yosa'Min in an earnest hug. Love, honesty, hope, it all filled her as she dwelled upon the Lioness, an ache resurfacing in her from somewhere deep down below.

Agony quickly came through to replace all of those lovely, joyful feelings. There was so much hurt with that life that she didn't need to worry about now. She could look up at the sky and see a million stars, beauty unrivaled and pure. The smells of everything around her were heightened, her hearing just as well. The redguard felt more tuned with the world around her than ever before. She could tell there were birds roosting in the trees, and hear the sound of a nearby elk's slow steady breaths. There was a connection with the whole of Nirn she'd never felt before, as if she were part of the tapestry that wove around one's eyes instead of simply observing it. Colors, beauty, awe, all of it forgotten under mortal eyes where it had become mundane and commonplace.

It wasn't just the world she now walked through that she found so wonderful, but rather herself. Slinking about, slipping through the shadows, the glow of burning eyes and glint of fangs as they poised to take their prey; it all riled the woman to the core, edging her onwards through the darkness. Like a sweet mistress it wrapped her in a shroud and pulled her closer, a red lake she simply continued to sink into ever deeper. The taste of blood on her lips and the rush it brought stirred the redguard, motivated her, gave her purpose to continue on. Power rose from below and danced across her body, nerves on fire with energy and strength. When she stepped into the shadows she felt like she could do anything, as if she could take on three Alduins all at once.

She felt alive.

Staring down at her hands, the red sash clutched tightly in her grasp, a painful reminder of the past, the redguard's heart tore in two. The worlds collided in beauty and chaos, in pain and triumph. Memories mixed between good and bad, morals and beliefs clashing in battles of the mind and heart. Though it wasn't the first time in her life, the redguard felt conflicted, neither side truly winning over another. She looked up at Serana who had patiently awaited her answer, and her voice cracked as she at last gave it.

"I... I don't know..."

"Damnit! Divines damnit!"

Mjoll pressed her hands into her face, trying to tune out the violent swearing of the imperial who paced nearby. The lapping of the nearby waves on the shore did nothing to calm her racing mind, the woman still reeling in everything that had happened. A deep guilt clutched her heart, shaking her to the core and making it hard to think. That creature she'd just seen, that had kissed her, was Yosa'Min. A very, very, terribly different Yosa'Min. "Divines help us," muttered Mjoll, shaking her head.

"What are they going to do?" Snarled Vex, whirling on the nord with a renewed scowl. "It's your fault Yosa reacted like that not theirs!"

"What?"

"If it had been anyone else she wouldn't have been so angry."

"So it's my fault that she's upset with me? If you've forgotten she and I have been apart for six months because of what she and you did!"

Shaking her head, the imperial stopped her pacing and glowered at the other woman. "Don't pretend you didn't have a hand in it either!"

"I'm not! I have never denied that!"

"You've never so openly said it until it suited your purpose though," Vex retorted. Accusation was sharp in amber eyes, pointing daggers of hate at the golden haired woman.

"I didn't plan on saying those things, it just happened!" Mjoll had risen to her feet. "You try to keep your thoughts straight when that's happening to you!"

"Being afraid isn't an excuse!" Vex crossed her arms. "What you said, did you mean it?"

Scowling at Vex, the nord crossed her arms right back. "Excuse me?"

"Did you mean it?" Demanded the imperial with a deep set frown. She stared up at the taller, intimidating woman without a hint of fear. Anger bubbled in her chest, but for now she was able to keep it restrained.

Mjoll bit the inside of her cheek, averting her gaze with a heavy sigh. "You heard it all then?"

"Over the sounds of the vampire that was trying to pin me? Yeah, I heard you crying out your feelings," Vex said tightly, "Now did you mean it?"

"Yes."

Amber eyes widened, Vex's expression wavering before she managed to gather herself again. She dropped her arms, and silently turned back away and started towards where they'd made camp in the sea cave. Mjoll watched her, uncertain of what she should say or do, before she slowly followed the imperial back as well. As she settled down on the bed roll that belonged to her she could feel the tension in the air, and sighed faintly.

"What are we going to do?" She asked, looking over at Vex but cast in the darkness of the cave she could hardly see the woman if not for her pale features. "Yosa... She's not going to come back to us now after that fiasco. We probably just drove her further away..."

The glint of moonlight off the sea was caught in Vex's eyes, Mjoll able to pick out the detail as Vex looked at her with a soft scowl. "We can't just give up on her like that."

Shaking her head animatedly, Mjoll replied, "That's not what I'm suggesting. I mean we need a new strategy."

Chewing on her lip in thought, the imperial reached outwards and found her satchel. She opened it up, and fumbled around in the dark until she found a small book and pulled it out. She opened it up and scowled at the scribbled writing, hardly able to make out the details in the dark and then searched for the lantern they'd also acquired back in Windhelm. Without a word to Mjoll of what she was doing, she opened the black metal lantern, lit the oiled wick with a small lever on the side that caused sparks to fall on the piece, and blew on it until a decent flame was flickering inside. Setting it between the pair so that the cave was equally cast in orange shadow, Vex began to look over the writing that was nor a bit easier to read.

"What is that?" Mjoll inquired.

"Siulon wrote a book about vampires," Vex said, "Well I mean she didn't do the writing itself but it's still her work. I was hoping it could glean some light on the situation."

"Is that what you were reading when we were on the boat?" With a small nod, Vex flipped to another page. "So what does it say?"

Sighing with exasperation, though for once it sounded more like it was aimed at their situation then the nord, Vex slid the book over to Mjoll. As she took it, the nord realized why she'd thought she'd recognized the penmanship before, it was Brelyna's. Curious if this was the reason the dunmer had said she'd not been focusing on her studies as much, Mjoll began to read the section Vex had thumbed to. Her heart fell like a rock to the bottom of the sea as her eyes ran over the text, looking back up at Vex in horror. "You're kidding..."

"Siulon is an expert, I can't argue with her," sighed Vex, eyes lowered with obvious grief. "I was hoping that the extent of her change wasn't going to be so far along but it seems I was wrong..."

"It said that vampires will... repress or alter their memories so that they can't be attached to their mortal side," Mjoll said, "or that so they can feel like this is the right way now, being what they are. How?"

With a shrug, the imperial flicked her gaze towards the sea that was still visible through the opening of the cave. "Like you said, I'm no expert... I guess magic? I don't know this kind of stuff- all I know is how to steal and sneak and plunge a dagger in someone's chest before they've realized I was even there!" Frustration bubbled in her voice, the woman scowling again, hands balled into fists. "I don't know anything!"

Mjoll was stunned for a second time that night, holding the book in her lap, uncertain what to do as Vex seemed to air out what had been on her mind for quite some time. She swallowed dryly, and looked back at where the book detailed more about this memory repression. "Well you were smart enough to get someone who did's help." Vex cocked a brow at what sounded almost like a reassurance. "But no, you don't know squat," Mjoll quickly added, Vex scowling at her words. "But neither do I so I guess we're both to blame."

The imperial blinked at her, disbelief so plain to see on her face that Mjoll laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head. "Did... Did Yosa kissing you fuck with your head?"

"I'll admit I'm probably not all the way back together right now..." Uttered Mjoll, turning a bit red. "I can't stop thinking about her and what we're going to do."

"Look..." Vex said as she pulled out a pair of journal, one black leather with an elegantly engraved raven with a lockpick in its beak, the other a series of jagged lines that Mjoll thought resembled the dragon words on the wall back in the crypt. "These are she and I's journals... After we defeated Mercer, we decided to keep them like Gallus had in case something happened to us." She gingerly touched the one that Mjoll could easily could tell was Yosa'Min's. Her heart ached at the sight. "What I'm hoping is that if I can get her to read these, that what the book says is true. That sometimes you can... unlock... the proper memories, that you can remove the twisting and the corruption of their mind. All you have to do is make them realize the truth, like shining light in the darkness, break the illusion."

"It can't possibly be that simple or that'd be more well known."

Sighing, she slipped the journals back into the satchel. "I know..." Amber eyes snapped up to Mjoll who swallowed dryly. "I need you."

"What?"

Vex clicked her tongue and balled her fists, looking square into the woman's golden orbs. In the orange cast of the lantern, Vex could see why Yosa'Min thought the nord was beautiful, truly she was, a powerful and imposing form but one that still held some quite attractive features. There was a likable magnetism about the woman that deterred Vex like a plague, but it seemed to just draw in others like moths to a flame. The longer she simply looked at the nord and took her in, the angrier she got. "Don't you get it?" She snarled.

Taken off-guard by the sudden return of hostility, Mjoll braced herself for the cutting edge of the imperial's tongue once more. "Get what?" She questioned.

"You're her whole damn world!"

"I don't-"

"No you are!" Vex said, hands gripping tight to keep from flying about. "I'm her best friend, or maybe she's just my best friend but I've tried so damn hard for months now to make her feel better, to try to fix that mess. I've lied to myself, I've said it over and over again that she'll get over you, that she'll start to notice me again, that she'd wake up one day and smile and things would be right again..." She scowled at the nord anew. "But no, that never happened. Instead, I had to put her in danger to make her laugh, I had to go to tremendous lengths to cheer her up, and I failed. Then you show up, she sees your face and everything is different. That vampire bites her on the neck and she's lost her way but she's happy in some form. It takes you saying a few words and she snaps, she reacts, she gives you something."

"Vex-"

"She gave me nothing Mjoll. I was talking to a statue half the time... And now, this sickness has corrupted her, she doesn't recognize who I really am or maybe she's finally telling me what I meant to her. Because that monster out there in her body would have done so much worse to me then she would have to you. I could see it, angry, furious as she was with you she would have held little remorse over harming me. She was upset with me, she wanted to hurt me I could see it in those eyes..." She shuddered before fixing her gaze on the nord again, pain that she'd been hiding breaking free in the aftermath of the night. "I will never mean the same to her as you do. No matter what I try, no matter what I do, not matter what I feel... Never. It's not fair."

Swallowing dryly, the nord could only fumble with a few words in response. "I'm sorry Vex."

Squinting at her, Vex reigned herself in and got to her feet. "Yeah well me too," she uttered as she walked back into the night.