Hey guys, Uncle WAAAGH! here.
A bunch of new characters, and foes in this chapter.
This would have been longer, but I've been sick with the flu this whole weekend, which was awful.
(1 like equals 1 pray)
Anyways, enjoy.
Unkle fired his mega blasta, signalling the battle. The blinding blast of golden energy vaporized the area that Batman was previously standing. However, Batman rolled out of the way, After that, everything became a blur.
Nightwing swung into action, swinging his shock batons with beautiful ability. The Joker managed to dodge the quick swings of his baton. He then snatched Unkle's crowbar, and swung it like a bat, hitting him brutal force. Nightwing stumbled back, right into Harleys reach. Swinging her massive oversized mallet, it hit Nightwing right beneath the legs. The blow swiped Nightwing from the ground, making him fly into the air before he collapsed. Before Harley could bring it on his skull, the other sidekick kicked her right in the jaw, before giving a few blows himself.
Nibbla stepped into the fray, letting out an ear piercing screech. He smashed down one of his larger scything talons, nearly hitting Nightwing. Nightwing however rolled out of the way, and began prodding Nibbla with his electric batons. Nibbla became enraged, and wildly and madly swung about, hitting everything except for the intended target.
"Yoo go Nibbla!" Unkle shouted, completely distracted of what was happening. This cost him, as an explosive batarang hit him right in the chest, sending him skidding backwards. The orks pants caught on fire due to the combined efforts of the explosion and friction. Unkle let out a squeal, as he began dragging his ass on the ground, trying to take the fire out.
Batman came forward, ready to pummel the ork, before a bullet got him right in the shoulder.
The Joker let out a cacophony of insane laughter, as he continued to unload with a gun at Batman. Unkle extinguished the fire, and took an opportunity to scramble back. He grabbed his mega blasta, which had fallen out of his hands. He pointed it right at the two sidekicks, who were desperately trying to prevent being gored by the hive tyrant.
"Say goodbye, snotlings!" He hooted, and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. The mega blasta let out a windows XP error sound, before it fell apart in his hands. Unkle looked at it for a few moments, and let out a roar of anger.
"DAMN YOU MIKROSOFT!" He shouted in anger, as he threw the pieces of his gun aside, picking up a chainsaw, one still covered in vicious biofluids. Ignoring a missed bio plasma shot which exploded five feet away from him, he revved it up. His kustom chainsaw let out an oily belch of smoke and gas, as the built in flamethrowers kicked in. He let out a wild hoot of laughter, as he pointed it right at Batman. He had finished off Harley, and was now trying to fight off The Joker, who seemed capable of holding his own.
"Let's turn up da heat!" Unkle shouted, as he pulled the trigger. The burna's spewed out a bright red and orange gust of flame. However, Unkle quickly remembered that a Burna's reach wasn't that far. And he was, rather far.
"Mork damnit." He grumbled, as he ran forward, revving up the chainsaw. Swallowed up by the moment, Unkle let out a violent burst of laughter.
"RRRRNENENENEENE!" He shouted out, mimicking the sound of a chainsaw (it's totally it you guys) as he charged forward. As Batman gave a violent uppercut to The Joker, one so powerful that he was completely launched off of his feet, and was sent into a couple of boxes. Batman turned, to see the ork right on him, swinging the chainsaw down in a eviscerating motion.
Batman dodged the blow, and gave a quick kick right at the orks knee. Unkle swung the chainsaw, getting a quick screech of metal against metal, as he had cut a large gash right in Batman's chestplate.
"BURN!" He shouted, laughing in joy, as he pulled the trigger. He splurted out a burst of flame, engulfing batman. However, he stopped laughing when a gust of water exploded out of his suit, putting out the fire almost immediately.
"Wot?!" He said in disbelief, as a hook right into his jaw knocked him back. His chainsaw flipped into the air, before it smashed into the stone floor. It skittered around, rapidly moving around the floor.
This complicated things, as Unkle was now fighting two enemies at once. Batman, and his own chainsaw.
"Chainy! How kuld ya bretray me loike dis!" He shouted in disbelief. As a response, a quick text appeared on one of the small screens on the side of the chainsaw as it whirled past him. It read, '01000010 01110101 01110011 01101000 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 00111001 00101111 00110001 00110001'
Unkle gasped in shock, before he roared in rage.
"Yoo bastard!" He shouted in anger. How could it betray him like this?
Unkle's plans of revenge on his own weapon were quickly forgotten, as Batman kicked him right between the legs. Unkle hooted, as he grabbed Batman by the throat, lifting him up. He whistled, as he continued to strangle Batman with one of his hands.
Nibbla, who was currently busy trying to trample Nightwing, while Batgirl was lobbing explosive devices heard his master's call. Preparing a ball of Bioplasma, Nibbla let out a howl of anger, as he lobbed the ball of bioplasma. At the same time, Unkle walked right in front of the direction where the bioplasma ball was going, and with all of his ork strength, he threw Batman right in front of the bioplasma ball. Unkle leaped out of the way, as the bioplasma ball connected right into the figure of Batman.
The bioplasma ball exploded, showering the ground with a corrosive spray of energy. Unkle uncovered his eyes. There were only two of them left now. But then he paused. Batman was still alive. Unkle opened his eyes in surprise. He didn't kill Batman, like he had planned. Instead, it was someone different. Nightwing.
The entire front of his body was utterly ruined. The flesh on his skin had melted off, and instead sealed itself on the floor, creating a sticky residue made of human skin. His face as gone, only leaving a screaming white skull, which even then, didn't last long, as the bone marrow was dripping off like tears on someone's face. The back part of Nightwing remained somewhat intact, but that was still not enough to consider him alive. Unkle glanced at Batman, who was slowly picking himself up. Though a few splatters of bio plasma had caused deep scorch marks on his armor and cape, he was relatively intact. Batman slowly walked up to what remained of Nightwing, and cradled what was left of his body. In order to do so, Batman had to literally peel off the skin and tissue that glued his body to the floor. His eyes were wide in shock, before they became enraged. He slowly looked at Unkle, giving him a stare that chilled him to his core. Unkle smirked though.
He threw down the tellyporta pad that he had scavenged out of his crate. It quickly began to morph into a properly functioning tellyporta pad. Batman ran forward, letting out a roar of determination, anger, and rage. Unkle merely smiled. Batman was far too consumed in anger to realize the card in his sleeve. Nibbla merely smacked the humie aside with his thick tail, sending him into a couple of boxes. Unkle gave Batman a proper salute, putting one hand on his forehead, and then waved it off.
"See ya later snotlings!" Unkle shouted, as he pressed the detonator, zapping both Unkle and Nibbla away, to fight again another day. (Hey that rhymes)
/
Two days later, Unkle was skimming through a travel brochure. He was sitting in an airport, using a master disguise to conceal his identity. Many had heard of the criminal that had killed the Batman's sidekick. So in order to travel around earth, he had created an elaborate disguise.
Unkle was wearing a pair of green polarized aviators, but that was not only the most elaborate part of scheme. No, their was far, far more.
He was also wearing a fake mustache, the kind that you got from the dollar stores. The ingenious part about it was that it was upside down. Unkle assumed that this wouldn't attract too much attention. As he looked through the brochure, he bit into his BLT, chewing it for awhile before he swallowed.
Unkle had decided that if he wanted to get home, he would need some fancy tech. Though Gotham was fun to visit every now and then, it really didn't have the kind of tech he was looking for. So where was any better place to go, then the so called, city of tomorrow? Why not Metropolis?
The real problem getting to Metropolis was that it was quite a walk. And he already had stirred up more trouble, by robbing seven banks in four hours. It was quite the record, if he said so himself. Luckily, he didn't run into too much trouble. So he figured why not get on a plane?
The hardest part was security. He had already paid for his ticket, under the fake alias of 'George Washington'. Genius, really. However, he had figured out that if he was too pass through security, with his weapons, he would be arrested. So his plan was genius.
He shifted slight, as the line was moving on. He took all of his deadly weapons and tools, and slowly shoved it into the humans luggage in front of him. He let the humie get through. Immediately, shouts of alarms were said, and the person in front of him was tackled and dragged away. Unkle fixed his coat, as he stepped forward. He stepped through the metal detector, and was given the green light. Unkle passed the struggling humie, and smirked to himself.
"You are a genius Unkle, you really are." He mumbled to himself, scratching the patch of skin underneath his mustache.
After half an hour of waiting, Unkle finally got on the plane. He had gotten himself a first class ticket, since he was a fancy git. He sat in his window seat, nomming on his complimentary peanuts. Things were going easy for him. But he did not know that his arch nemesis, was coming for him.
/
Watch Station Historiarum
994.M41
/
Lord Inquisitor Linus Schaeffer smoothened out his hair, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was given his orders, and he was going to see them through, that much was clear. And that wasn't the thing that was giving him an exterminatus level headache. The headache where the operatives he was working with.
Linus was given control of a squad of Deathwatch space marines. The most elite of the space marines, next to perhaps, the ordos malleus. While they specialized in daemon hunting, the ordos xenos specialized, in xenos hunting. This squad was supposed to be some of the most highly trained, skilled, and disciplined space marines. Period. There were no exceptions.
But as Linus looked between his fingers, he could see that clearly, this was not the case. His superior, was a dick.
The Deathwatch kill team was made up of four space marines. One of them was choking a fellow space marine, while one was nearly yelling out tales of battle, ones that sounded grossly over exaggerated, and one was skulking about in the corner, drawing suspicion by simply existing. At first glance, it may have not been as bad, but the more Linus stared, the more he wanted to put a gun in his mouth.
"MAKE ONE MORE FUCKING FIRE PUN, I FUCKING DARE YOU WALKING AUTISTIC PIECE OF SHIT." The Angry Marine roared from underneath the Salamanders arm, who was trying to break the chokehold of the Salamander that held him tight.
"Here's something to brighten your day." The Salamander stated, chuckling slightly, while the Angry Marine let out a scream of rage, a thick white froth pouring out of his mouth grate. Meanwhile, the Ultramarine was still spouting out tales of glorious battle of how he had wrestled a carnifex down to the ground with his bare hands, even though Linus knew that a space marine could not possibly hope to strangle a being that large.
The most elusive figure, and the one that Linus was by far, the most suspicious about, was the last figure in the far back of the room. Though they all had the same black color scheme, along with the silver shoulderpad with the symbol of the inquisition, the left shoulder pad was painted a dark blue, with a bone white skull and two red wings coming out from it. It was a Night Lord.
Linus had always heard stories of members of the space marines from traitor legions never actually betraying the emperor, but he had never thought he would see one. Besides, how old could he possibly be? The horus heresy was ten thousand years ago, how was it that he had never been killed up until now? Currently, the Night Lord was sharpening a crooked, cruel and twisted dagger on the wrist of his armor. It let out a piercing screech every time he sharpened it. It was an endless cacophony. His helmet looked up to face him. Linus cleared his throat.
"Quiet. All of you." He shouted. They did not hear him. Linus sighed, and took out a las pistol, firing it right at the Salamanders shoulder pauldron. The blinding beam of light collided into the space marines armor, doing… nothing really. It wasn't its intention to kill him though, as that got his attention.
"Next shot goes higher. Now keep your mouths shut. All of you." Linus bellowed. The space marines stopped their quarreling, as they gathered up into their seats together.
"State your name, chapter, and occupation." Linus said, getting out a large file of paperwork, and began to sift through.
"Sternguard Veteran Germael, Ultramarines." The Ultramarine stated first, clearly proud of his rank. The others shot him a glance, before the Angry Marine snorted.
"FUCKING ULTRAFAG. GO LIVE IN A MUSHROOM YOU OVERGROWN SMURF." The Angry Marine shouted, before he glanced back at the Inquisitor.
"ASSAULT MARINE INDIGNATIO, ANGRY MARINES." He roared. Linus looked through his papers, just to validate it. Unfortunately, he did have an Angry Marine under his command. This complicated everything.
"Techmarine Rogo, Salamanders." The Salamander said. The Angry Marine snorted.
"SHOULD HAVE CALLED HIM LITERAL CANCER." Indignatio grumbled. Rogo chuckled.
"Let me lighten up your day." He merely said. This sent Indignatio into a screaming fury, as he tackled Rojo to the ground, and began to wrestle with him. Finally, Linus glanced at the Night Lord. The Night Lord looked up slowly. He put his knife back into his sheathe, and cleared his throat. Instantly, Rojo and Indignatio stopped fighting, and went back to their seats.
"Metum. Tactical Marine." The Night Lord said. Linus slowly nodded, as he removed a section of paperwork the width of his arm. All on Metum. He skimmed through the file, looking through them. Linus finally nodded.
"Stuck in cryostasis for nine hundred years. So that's why you aren't dead yet." Linus said. Metum nodded.
"Yes." He replied. Linus cleared his throat, as he swept the paperwork aside.
"Listen up astartes. For this will be your only mission debriefing, because their is a very, very high chance you may not return." Linus stated, as he pressed several buttons on the table. The surface of the table retracted to reveal what was an essentially a large hologram. Pressing several buttons, the program began.
"Two decades ago, we came across a massive ork controlled system within the Imperium's territory. Remnants, of the Beast War." Linus began. He let the mood sink in. The Beast War was the most catastrophic war in the Imperium's history, right next to of course, the Horus Heresy. The massive ork armada had nearly taken holy terra herself, and had nearly completely wiped out the Imperial Fist chapter, along with many other smaller successor chapters, not to mention the billions upon billions of lives lost. In short, nothing to scoff at.
"Magos Biologis was able to locate an incredibly rare breed, or strain, of orks." He said, as he began to pull up the reports.
"These orks would appear normal at first, but would gestate and grow at an extreme rate, both in size and intelligence. And they would not stop. Controlled experiments were conducted, but their seemed to be no way to physically stop such a growth pattern." Linus stated. Indignatio rose his hand.
"CALL ON ME YOU FUCKING POINTY HAT GINGER." Indignatio roared. Linus sighed.
"Yes, astarte?" Linus asked. Indignatio put down his hand.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST FUCKING BOMB THE ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF THE PLACE?" He asked. Linus sighed.
"We would have, believe me, but after several scans, we found out that the only inhabited planet had massive stores of extremely valuable metals-"
"LIKE GOLD? BITCHES LOVE GOLD. I WOULD KNOW, BECAUSE I FUCK ALL OF THE BITCHES."
"If they would care to notice…"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP ROGO, I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING GOD EMPEROR MY MOTHERFUCKING FOOT WILL BE SO FAR UP YOUR MOTHERFUCKING AS-"
"Silence." Metum growled. They stopped arguing. Linus gave him a quick nod of appreciation, as he continued.
"Regardless, the breed was determined extremely dangerous, and all orks designated with this where to be killed, and for their bodies to be shot into a sun, or black hole. We began a siege on the ork world, and ten days later, we took it. All of the orks were destroyed. Except, for one." Linus said, as he pulled up a screenshot. The image was blurry, but it was an ork in a brown and green trench coat, along with a peaked cap and gun.
"This ork goes by the name of Unkle. It has been my duty, to track this bastard down. However, this ork is smart. It has been on the run for years, ever since we have destroyed the ork stronghold." Linus growled, remembering personally why he hated the ork, rubbing the scar that went from the top of his eyebrow down to his chin
"The ork knows many, many secrets, that would prove rather valuable to the Imperium. But Unkle is a master of running away. So far, he has killed four assassins, sent by the Officio Assassinorum." Linus said. To that, one of the space marines whistled, while another one whispered 'A worthy adversary'. Linus didn't blame them.
"However, it recently disappeared in an explosion. I thought the ork was dead. But of course, I was wrong. Somehow, Unkle has managed to not only escape our universe, but to somehow reach far, far beyond it." Linus said slowly. He let it sink in, before he continued.
"So you are telling us, that this ork, has managed to completely get out of our universe, in an explosion?" Germael asked slowly. Linus shook his head.
"Not in an explosion. A machine. A portal, for a lack of better words." Linus replied. He adjusted his uniform, before he continued.
"We have been trying to replicate this technology, from the scraps of blueprints that were scattered around the site of the explosion, and from previous encounters." He said. He leaned in.
"Fifty of your brothers have died to try and even apprehend this… this creature. But now, he thinks that he is safe. How wrong he is." Linus said, before he smiled.
"But we have managed to replicate, a temporary copy." He said, as he began to pull up images and schematics.
"For decades, the tech priests of mars have been analyzing the idea of alternate universes and multiverses and the like. Now, they have managed to find the loose coordinates of where the ork has went. This device is a one way trip. Once you get in, the only way out, is with the orks help." Linus said.
"So what is our mission?" Metum asked. Linus smirked.
"You will find, and seize the ork. You will make him build a teleporter, and send him back, right into our clutches. Succeed, and you will be recognized as even greater heroes of the Imperium." He proudly said, before he paused, and chuckled.
"Fail, and you won't be coming back. Understand?"
/
An hour after he left the airport, Unkle slapped on a Hello Kitty sticker on his tellyporta, and flipped the switch. It sparked to life, bucking and moving. Unkle sighed, and sat down on his chair, and took a sip of lemonade. Unlike Gotham, Metropolis had nice weather. He was sitting on a small beach, on Saint Martins island. Only the rich blokes lived here, but he already had murdered the old man who lived in this part of the island, and took his mansion over. He put his lemonade down, and adjusted his sunglasses.
The tellyporta let out a bright spark, as Nibbla suddenly appeared. The hive tyrant let out a hiss, as it stepped forward, and looked around, before it glanced down at its master.
"Ah Nibbla! Yer just in time." Unkle said, grinning. He took out a large paper, filled with his evil schemes and machinations, and handed it to Nibbla. He held it out patiently, while the hive tyrant merely stared at him. Unkle looked at Nibbla, and lowered his glasses.
"Oh yeah. Ya don't have any hands." Unkle said, chuckling slightly. He sighed, as he looked it over, and began to explain.
"Dese humies have pissed me off fer da last toime Nibbla. When I ordered me apple juice on da Airplane, dey gave me ice cubes, when I said, dun give me ice cubes. I'm sick of dem!" Unkle growled, making a fist with one of his hands.
"So in orda to take down da humies, weze gonna need a WAAAGH! But first, weze gunna need da bestest of da loot we can foind." Unkle growled. He skimmed through it with his finger, and grinned.
"So here's me plan Nibbla, lissen close. Da place here got a S.T.A.R.S lab here. We might wanna hit that place furst, fer any techyology. If dat place dont got any gud kit, we check out Lex towa. Lexcorp is a fancy place, run by dat egghead, Lex Lootha. Damn dirty and mean, I heard." Unkle grumbled, as he flipped the pages.
"Afta we get a good amount of techyology, kit and maybe teef, weze goin travellin again. Wanna know where, Nibbla?" Unkle asked, looking up at the Hive Tyrant, who was trying to go fishing. Nibbla let out a hiss.
"Australia! Dey got lots of islands, where we can hoide away, and prepare da WAAAGH! I'll uh, i'll tell ya da rest of me shneaky plot later." Unkle said, stuffing it away. He sipped some more lemonade.
"Humie tech aint reliable. Dats when I come in." Unkle chuckled, swishing around his glass. Nibbla let out a growl. Unkle glanced at Nibbla.
"Ah dont worry buddy. Yooze gunna get a part of dis plot too. We stroike at midnoight, capiche?" He asked. Nibbla hissed. The ork smiled, as he leaned back further into his beach chair, and eased off his shoes, revealing his absolutely disgusting, fungus encrusted toes.
"Yeah Nibbla, I know me plans are da best. Dats why, I'M, da best." He said, and sighed.
"Now Nibbla, enjoy da break fer now. Weze gunna need da rest." Unkle smirked.
Kangarooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo