Chapter Thirty-Five
Yosa'Min wasn't certain what she had been expecting; a secret office, a secluded den, Valerica just to be standing there awaiting them... Instead the very first thing they saw was a wall and a chain besides it. From there it revealed a room with a table covered in blood and remains. There were many nooks and crannies in the room filled with shelves, more tables, pots and other various items nestled in the corners but all Serana cared for was the small set of stairs leading to a door with blood stained across their stone steps. It could easily have been from some other victim or thrall Valerica had brought there but from the look Serana was making, Yosa'Min guessed she wasn't thinking of those possibilities.
Pressing on, they were welcomed to a much larger room like a gathering hall with a massive broken table in the center and chairs filled with skeletons strewn about. The ceiling was high and held up by crumbling pillars and an elevated area was on both far sides with rubble standing in the way. "I recognize this place," said Serana with a faint tone, "this belonged to the previous owners, they had feasts here and father attacked in the middle of one to take them by surprise. He showed me it afterwards but I can't believe it's still here..." She trailed off as the skeletons began to move.
Drawing her dagger once more, Yosa'Min readied herself, her other hand prepping a spell. "I guess he didn't get rid of the bodies," said Yosa'Min before casting the spell and a ball of fire zoomed across the room to hit a skeleton in the chest. It did little against the enchanted bones as the struck skeleton lifted a sword from the table. There were seven skeletons in all, and two that were dressed in armor with flesh still attached to their bones. Bright blue lights glowed where eyes should have, furious at their intrusion. Serana gave a hiss as she cast a spell of her own, arcs of lightning zapping through a trio of skeletons and their bones fell in heaps of ash, swords clattering heavily on the ground. Yosa'Min rolled to the side as an armored one swung where they had just stood, and slashed at its knees with her dagger. The skeleton was surprisingly agile, and skirted her attack before bringing its sword down in a swooping motion that would have cut her clean in half is she hadn't gotten out of the way.
A skeleton rushed Serana, the vampire scowling as she had to dance away from its slashing blade. It brought its blade down towards her head, but Serana dodged it in a plume of smoke and bats, reappearing behind the undead skeleton and incinerating it with another powerful bolt of lightning. "You're not so tough," she jeered at one which instantly charged her, swinging its blade in the attack. Its advance was stopped halfway there when a dagger sunk into its skull, and Serana looked across the way to where Yosa'Min stood weaponless.
"Yosa look out!" Shouted Serana moments before the armored skeleton swung at her. The Dragonborn ducked lowly, grateful for her already lacking height, and scurried away from the massive abomination. "Catch!" Said Serana, picking up Yosa'Min's dagger and tossing it to her. Easily plucking it from the air, Yosa'Min whispered a few words under her breath and the blade began to crackle with lightning. Pursuing her still, the armored skeleton determined to end her life. Yosa'Min screamed as she jumped forward to meet it, the sparking dagger digging into its face as she pulled herself around it to avoid its counter attack. It spasmed violently before sinking to its knees before crashing into the ground.
Retrieving her dagger, Yosa'Min caught sight of the remaining armored undead giving chase to a continually dodging and spell-casting Serana. There were only two regular skeletons left, and the redguard spotted them trying to corner Serana against the far wall. Rushing to her feet, the fledgling ran up behind the first skeleton and sliced right through its pelvis, splitting it in two. The second retaliated by slamming its elbow into her face, sending Yosa'Min stumbling backwards with a hand on her cheek. Before it could followthrough with its attack, a spike of ice burst through its chest and it fell to the ground with a loud clatter. The remaining skeleton, a draugr really, seemed to take a moment to realize it was now outnumbered, and squared off against the pair of vampires with burning blue eyes.
"Come on we don't have all day," said Yosa'Min impatiently, and the draugr attacked. It had only gone three steps when two separate spells of lightning and ice smashed against it, and the corpse fell to the ground. "Do you think your mother reanimated them?" Inquired Yosa'Min as she inspected the room.
"She loved her necromancy, she could have put them in place to guard whatever lies ahead," agreed Serana.
"Then let's find out what she's hiding."
They pressed on, heading up a set of stairs that led into a cobweb and spike trapped area. They hadn't gone more than a foot inside when an unholy screech pierced the air and something on the far side awoke. "Gargoyle," Serana whispered with dread. A bat like creature of stone and flesh that stood on its hind legs and wings arching out of its back cackled in response, soulless stone carved eyes catching sight of them. While Yosa'Min had seen these curious creatures before, Serana having awoken one in their fight with the Dawnguard, she had yet to be the enemy of one and the sight of it turned against her was terrifying. The reminder that the precious gargoyle had gone toe to toe with an armored troll, and that this one was at least three times bigger than that one, made fear spike through her anew.
"Can't you enchant it?" Hissed back Yosa'Min as it slowly approached them, resembling a vampire lord in an uncanny way while horns were sculpted back from its head. She could almost picture being impaled by them yet that seemed improbable.
"Not when it's awoken!" Replied Serana as she pushed Yosa'Min to the side and barely dodged a sweeping slash of its claws. The gargoyle roared with disapproval, and moved faster than Yosa'Min thought should have been possible for its size. The room was much too tight for them to evade it, and the pair retreated back to the larger chamber where the skeletons had been. The gargoyle pursued, slashing at the air where they were and just barely missing each time. "I need to transform, can you keep it occupied?" Asked Serana, Yosa'Min nodding her head as she began to zap it with bolts of lightning but they did nothing more then spark a pebble or two off its stone hide.
Fleeing across the way, Serana attempted to hide in shadows but the gargoyle spotted her running and picked up some of the scattered rubble and threw it after her. Yosa'Min didn't have a chance to warn her before it hit the vampire from behind, Serana falling in a silent heap. "Serana!" Shouted Yosa'Min, her voice going raw. Rage built up within the fledgling, and her vision began to turn red. "Get away from her!" She screamed, the stone monster approaching Serana's slumped form.
It turned its head to her, a violent smile across its carved face, and dipped its head with a sadistic cackle. The monster lifted Serana up by her cloak, dangling the vampire in the air who seemed to be stirring slightly. "Yosa..." Muttered Serana, looking across at the petrified fledgling. It smirked, and slammed her back into the ground twice, each time a horrible sound filled the air.
"I said," growled Yosa'Min, her skin starting to shake and shimmer as it dangled Serana once more to slam her into the ground. "LEAVE HER ALONE!" The air reverberated as her thu'um slipped into her voice, sending waves of air scattering through the air. The gargoyle seemed to give pause, staring down at her as if to reassess her strength. It placed Serana back on the stone floor, and dropped into a battle stance towards the fledgling who was shuddering. She had no idea how she was going to defeat this monstrosity on her own, she was utterly out of her element without a bow and suddenly the redguard cursed herself for not having picked one up. It was foolish to think she could take on everything with her claws and dagger, spells up her sleeve as a ranged option when before she hardly would have cast magic unless utterly needed. Staring at the unconscious body of her sire, ignoring the enormous and intelligent gargoyle watching her keenly, all she could think of was she was too weak to do this by herself.
Waves of darkness filled her vision, swirling up through her mind to consume her. She opened her mouth, a thick ichor rising in the back of her throat and she felt like she was going to vomit. Instead, waves of pain began to fill her body, and a scream escaped her in desperation as everything began to hurt. The gargoyle snarled as it realized what was happening, and slowly made its way towards her, cautious of what was to transpire. It was almost as if it wanted the challenge that was awakening within the redguard after centuries of stillness.
Yosa'Min legs gave out beneath her, sending her sprawling against the ground but she was hardly aware of it. Her mouth hurt the worst, teeth aching as they grew monstrous, a snout making itself known while her hair began to recede and turn white, sweeping away from her skull. Then it was her back that screamed out in pain, something trying to break out of her body as her spine lengthened and curved. Leathery wings erupted from her back, blood trickling down her body as she let out an unholy hiss, struggling to rise up with shaking arms. She blinked at their monstrous appearance, green and scaly while black claws scraped at the stone. Suddenly a shot of fire burned through her changing body, and the ichor dripped out of her mouth, sizzling at it hit the stones. Her mind was shattered with images of Serana's transformed body, as if trying to picture what she should become but something didn't feel quite right. Scales burst from her skin to cover her ashen body, green and red hues to the bloodied reptilian appearance. She could feel something growing from her skull, curving upwards and with shaky claws she realized she had horns.
Forcing herself upwards, one hand having to support herself with the wall. Something thumped behind her, and Yosa'Min spared a moment to glance at what caused it. A long serpentine tail about half as long as she now was, which was about as tall as the massive gargoyle that was staring at her, rested on the floor with a spiked end. Yosa'Min blinked once more, confused by what she had become, before the rage boiled up her once more as she spotted Serana laying on the cold stone ground across the way. A vile hiss escaped the Dragonborn, and her aching body soon began to beat in unison for one purpose.
Kill.
Her control, her mind, all of it slipped away from Yosa'Min and with a violent cry she lunged forward at the gargoyle that was ready for her. Claws of stone and scale clasped together, one trying to force the other down but they seemed to be at an equal match. The gargoyle snarled, a faint redness swirling around its claws and Yosa'Min felt a slight drain of her strength before she realized it was stealing her life like vampires did. Her maw opened furiously, and she lunged forward to snap at its face, but it jerked its head back as far as it could and threw her backwards away from it. Yosa'Min beat her wings, lifting into the air above it awkwardly, struggling to get adjusted to such a motion at first and the gargoyle took advantage of her momentary uncertainty and grasped her by her legs before pulling her back to the ground and slamming her into it violently.
Yosa'Min snarled, and thrashed until it released her. Once free she rolled over and took flight again but further away from it. She hovered in the high ceiling, watching it carefully as if to plan what to do when that desire to fight filled her once more and she thoughtlessly attacked, her legs kicking outwards in the dive to strike the gargoyle's chest, sending it backwards into the wall and leaving a massive dent of rubble. It dug itself outwards, but Yosa'Min was upon it already, claws striking through just enough to rip back the stone skin and reveal fleshy insides. Blood began to burst from its arm, and the Dragonborn managed to get her fangs around its other arm, wrenching her head back continually in an attempt to sever the limb. The gargoyle gave a fierce roar, and threw itself forward to try and crush her against the ground. Snapping her head back, Yosa'Min heard something crack, and she put everything she had in breaking away with the arm still in her maw.
Roaring in pain, the gargoyle staggered away as blood spilled forward, the Volkihar hovering in the air a small bit away with its arm in her mouth. She spat it out, a mad grin upon her only vaguely human looking face, and rushed forward before it could recover. The gargoyle seemed to regret its decision to allow her to transform, and backed up quickly towards the small room it had awoken in. Yosa'Min thoughtlessly pursued it, and the stone being managed to get to the far side before she entered. It lowered its head challenging, and Yosa'Min, slinking forward on all fours with her wings tucked, hissed in response. Her eyes were so keenly focused on her prey that she did not spot the spikes that she observed before her transformation, and rushed forward right into a trio of them. They bashed against her and managed to make her spill blood, sending a few scales flying. Furious, she bowled right through them and tackled the gargoyle.
It thrashed and clawed at her chest, trying to free itself but she seemed to have overpowered it once it lost an arm. She opened her mouth, and a clawed hand dug into its face, tearing back the stone skin to reveal its softer insides. The gargoyle wretched in pain, struggling underneath her but the draconic vampire wasn't giving it an inch. Her maw opened wide, hate burning in her glowing orange eyes, she delivered the final blow. "YOL TOOR SHUL!" Fire more powerful than ever before burst forth to consume the gargoyle that spasmed beneath her. Flames of hungry orange and furious red devoured it, rushing over the gargoyle and burning it to death. As it slowly and painfully was incinerated, Yosa'Min plunged a fist into its chest, crushing its heart and finishing it off with a vile laugh. She stepped back, having to hunch over in the small space, and examined her kill with pride.
"Yosa...?" Came a frightful voice, Yosa'Min's head swiveling about to see Serana standing in the entryway with fear. "Is that you?" Yosa'Min scowled in response, crawling towards her and Serana began to back up. All Yosa'Min could say back was a slow hissing sound. "Yosa!" Shouted Serana, fear swelling in burning eyes. "You transformed!" She said further, trying not to appear hostile, remembering how reactionary the first transformation left fledglings. "That's wonderful!" She smiled, forcing the terror from her face. "I didn't think you'd look like a dragon though," said Serana slowly, taking in the very different appearance of her fledgling. "It suits you." Another slow hiss came from Yosa'Min eyes burning at her as she assessed the possibility of her being a threat. "If you're worried about me I'm better now, I took one of those blood potions I packed. My head just really hurts..." Said Serana further, holding her hands up to show she was no danger towards the vampiric dragon.
Yosa'Min was a foot away from her, still within the tight space of the smaller room, and dropped to all fours once more, seeming to prefer that over hunching down. Her still human like parts, her chest and groin, were covered by cloth and elegant objects of power as with any transformed Volkihar. While her face and neck were still fairly regular, aside from the scales and draconic eyes and horns, and she possessed hair, nothing else resembled what Serana had been expecting to see when Yosa'Min transformed for the first time. It was almost mortifying.
Gingerly, the sire reached out and placed a hand upon Yosa'Min's snout and a long moment passed before Yosa'Min snarled and knocked her away. "Yosa wait!" Screamed Serana as the fledgling slashed out with her claws, Serana having to dodge in the form of shadows and bats to avoid the blow. She reappeared on the far side of the room, Yosa'Min struggling to turn around and spot her. "Please stop," begged Serana, blood trickling down her arm where she'd still been injured. A long hiss came in response, and she began crawling towards Serana. "Stop!" Cried Serana. The Dragonborn laughed almost, the thirst for blood and destruction rising up to block out what the sire meant to her. She cornered the nordic vampire, tail blocking the other way while the bulk of her form was before Serana.
Her maw opened, the swirl of a shout rising up her body, and Serana's eyes widened in terror. Left with no other option, Serana cast a spell. Yosa'Min's vision was gone, blinded in an eruption of white and she roared with pain as the sire rushed her. Serana leapt onto her back, Yosa'Min struggling against her, and pulled something from her pouches while fighting to remain on top of the beast of a vampire. "I'm sorry!" She shouted as she threw a handful of a powder into the gaping jaws of Yosa'Min. She spasmed in response, shaking and shuddering, and threw Serana from her back. The vampire skidded across the ground, and looked up as she stopped to see the draconic vampire slowly changing.
The first thing to go was the tail, painfully retreating to rejoin her body as her wings returned to their proper place in her skeleton. Swirls of black and red covered her body, masking the more gruesome aspects of her return to her normal form. The scales fell off of her, leaving a bloody mess upon the ground as she shrunk in size, skin pinkish for a few long moments before regaining its reddish hue. Serana's breath caught in her throat as the groans of pain filled the air, claws returning to their normal sharpness, teeth decreasing and jaw popping back to its regular position. The horns that had sprouted from her skull above elongated ears retreated to nothingness, ears once more round and normal. When it was over with, the red and black swirls of shadow vanishing, Yosa'Min dressed once more in vampiric armor, Serana ran forward and pulled the fledgling to her.
"Yosa!" She gasped, the redguard stirring in her grasp. "Can you hear me Yosa?"
After a few more long moments, the redguard's eyes flittered open. Burning orange orbs took in the worry and pain upon her sire's face. "What happened?" She asked slowly, throat raw.
"You transformed..."
"I... I what?" Yosa'Min straightened up, and gasped as every fiber of her being screamed out in protest at the movement. "Oh gods... I really did didn't I?" She whispered. "Last thing I remember is the gargoyle knocking you out and... holding you..."
"You killed it," Serana said, gesturing to where its scorched body lay.
"Wow..." Serana bit her cheek, relieved to see Yosa'Min was recovering but uncertain how to explain her unusual transformation. She didn't need to begin as Yosa'Min looked around the ground. "Are those... scales?"
Swallowing dryly, the sire nodded her head. "Yosa... You're perhaps the most unique vampire lord I've ever known. Do you remember all our talks about transformation? How it can be triggered when you're emotional?"
Yosa'Min nodded her head weakly. "You were in trouble and I..." She looked down at her hands, blood still covering her fingers. "I changed."
"It would seem the fact that you're the Dragonborn effects more than your ability to speak in dragon so easily," said Serana further, trying to pull on a comforting smile. "Your transformation was more dragon than vampire."
"What?"
"You had scales Yosa," Serana said, the redguard lifting one of the discarded scales and looked at it. It was massive, shining green with blood covering the inside. "And beautiful wings you could fly with and a tail and horns!"
"I had no control over myself though, I can't even remember how I fought that thing!"
"No one really remembers their first transformation, not even I," soothed Serana, her wounded arm reaching forward to calm her.
Yosa'Min glanced downwards, and instantly tensed. "Did I do that?" She asked, Serana growing quiet. "Did I do that?" Demanded Yosa'Min much harsher.
Sighing, Serana dipped her head. "Yes."
Instantly Yosa'Min broke away from her, struggling to her feet that felt wrong beneath her. "I hurt you!" Shouted Yosa'Min with anger, shaking her head while her knees wobbled. "I've hurt Lydia! I've hurt Vex, Mjoll, Iona and now you! This isn't even the first time either!" She narrowed her eyes at Serana but it was clear who she was really angry with. The sire slowly got to her feet, watching her vent out the residual fury, or at least that's all she hoped it was. "I can't be trusted with anyone!"
"That's a lie and you know it," Serana said, stepping towards her.
"Then explain why in Nirn I would have struck you!" Screamed Yosa'Min. "I thought maybe if I didn't dwell on it, if I pretended I wasn't some walking monster I could get over it and deal with it like you do but I can't Serana!" Her hand balled into a fist, and she could almost feel the scales upon it. "This isn't right!" Serana pulled the fledgling into a hug, Yosa'Min struggling against her for a moment but in her weakened state post-transformation it was impossible to push her off. After a long minute she stopped, and simply stood there before burying her face in Serana's neck. "I don't want to be a monster Serana..." She whispered brokenly.
Not pulling back just yet, Serana replied, "I promise you you're not. The only way you will become a monster is if you believe you are and allow the beast to win. You went into that transformation desperate to protect me, without any other choice or we'd have both died at the hands of a monstrous gargoyle. I've never seen one that big before! You were stressed, angry, probably even scared and you'd never done that before. Your first attempt in the castle doesn't count because you weren't ready for it."
"Why Serana... Why is this so difficult?"
"Because it's a blessing and a curse Yosa'Min," said the sire as she pulled back, "and it's up to you which one it will be."
Yosa'Min pulled away from her, leaning against a wall and staring at the corpse of the gargoyle and the destruction she could vaguely feel was because of her own doing. "I can't stop picturing Lydia's face when I bit her... I keep wondering what if I killed the person who has always had my back and saved my life so many times over? I try to not think about her but her scream is in the back of my head.." She confessed, lowering her gaze shamefully. "Nor Vex's when I accused her of things that are not true. Mjoll when I had her against that boat, trying so hard not to bite her... She was crying. Unlike me she doesn't cry easily. Iona staring at me, begging me to stop attacking..."
Hands buried themselves in short hair, gripping her skull desperately as if to purge the mental images. "Serana I liked it when I beat Orthjolf, I loved tasting his blood and watching him writhe like a pathetic whelp. For a few solid moments I was enjoying it when I attacked my former friends, people I called loved ones and family. I'm trying to be a good vampire like you said but it's so hard! Anytime I try to think what I would do before it gets cloudy and muddled and I know that's not right! Why can't I think of Mjoll without feeling both anger and love for reasons I'm not certain of anymore?"
Serana stiffened as she realized what Yosa'Min was saying, and dipped her head in defeat. "You know..." Said Serana, swallowing her pride and all the fantasies she'd formed in her head of having Yosa'Min at her side for eternity. "As much as it pains me to say it, I could be wrong."
"About what?"
"In all the time I was locked away someone could have found a cure."
Blazing sunsets burned into each other, silence filling the blood drenched room. "You think so?" Croaked Yosa'Min.
Seeing the hope flash in her eyes, the mere thought sending a spark of life through the fledgling crushed Serana. "It's possible I suppose..." She sighed, and looked up at Yosa'Min with shame. "I'm sorry I've been so selfish... I've got this crazy notion in my head that you're meant to be by my side, that we're supposed to be allies forever, sire and fledgling. Every time you've had a perfectly good reason to leave me you haven't. You're the first person who's ever truly been my friend and the thought of loosing you is terrifying and I've been trying to keep that possibility from you." She held herself in her arms, the truth spilling from her lips hurting but she couldn't go on like this. "Every time you've stated you're afraid of yourself and what you're becoming I sweep it under the rug saying 'you'll gain control', and 'it's part of the change'. I'm so afraid of loosing my only friend that I'm letting you slip into sorrow and self-hate!"
"Serana you're not being selfish," argued Yosa'Min quickly, alarmed at the pain upon her sire's face. Something about seeing it wiped away what she had been feeling and replaced it with concern for Serana. Perhaps it was that bond she had talked about, but all the fledgling knew was that she wanted nothing more than to calm her sire, an impulsiveness consuming her and swaying her heart.
"Don't lie to me Yosa'Min," snapped Serana, not in anger but sorrow. "I'm dragging you through the mud that is my family, trying to make you realize the beauty and the good side of being a vampire but every time you do something that normally would be a good thing in terms of growing as a vampire you and I both get scared for different reasons. Your first transformation is supposed to be like a rite of passage. It's when you're accepting who you are and embracing your vampiric self! Instead once more you're faced with the terrifying fact that you aren't yourself anymore."
"You didn't mean to do this to me..."
"I did Yosa. I intentionally turned you because I couldn't handle the thought of killing the first person I met after waking up," replied Serana, "and you even admitted that if I'd given you a choice you'd have said no."
Biting her tongue, Yosa'Min frowned. "This isn't about that Serana," she said slowly, "if you hadn't have turned me then I'd be dead no ifs or buts about it. I might have acted like it sometimes in my mortal life but I never wanted to die. I tried to kill myself once, and I couldn't bring myself to do it." Serana stared at her with shock. "Yes, I was suicidal."
"Yosa..."
"The point is I have a shot at living now, as a vampire, a monster, or otherwise... I wouldn't have that if not for you."
"You wouldn't have been dying if not for me otherwise."
"Please," a chuckle escaped Yosa'Min, "I wouldn't have even been in that crypt if I'd gotten my head out of my ass and been smarter in my mortal life. I was consumed with guilt and sorrow and not myself. You saved me from that past Serana."
They stared at each other for some time, uncertain what to say or do. Eventually, Serana just sighed. "What I'm trying to say Yosa, is that I haven't been very fair with you. I'm forcing you towards things that I think are good for you but each time your reactions are bad. I don't want to become my father and try to control you, and I fear what happens if he attempts to... I just don't know what I'm doing and I think it's time I stopped ordering you around and treated you more equally."
Yosa'Min blinked at her, and then shook her head. "Did my transformation mark vampire puberty or something?"
A laugh escaped Serana, and she smiled at Yosa'Min. "Pretty much. Usually when a fledgling transforms it means they're ready to learn on their own. Most sires just abandon them at that point... Well at least my father always does and we're the only clan I know of that can transform. That and any others descended directly from Molag Bal but like I said... Only ones around."
"I don't want to learn on my own," quickly said Yosa'Min, vigorously shaking her head. "I've hardly got my head on straight as it is I don't think I could handle you leaving me."
A frown replaced the tender smile, and Serana stepped forward until they were a breath apart. "I'm never leaving you, not as long as you'll have me."
Instantly the redguard smiled, and the weight in her chest lifted. "So how about this," she replied slowly, "if I get to start voicing my opinion more... We handle your family and your father and everything that entails and afterwards... We see how I'm feeling about this vampirism thing?"
"Okay..." Said Serana slowly back, the thought of losing Yosa'Min terrifying still but at least it wasn't a certainty. "That's perfectly fair. We'll have to see if those friends of yours are even correct about there being a cure anyways. Who knows, maybe they're wrong." She shrugged, hopeful at the thought.
"Serana," cut in Yosa'Min, the reguard lowering her gaze for a moment. "Thank you."
Blinking, the vampire smiled. "Of course Yosa'Min. I wasn't lying when I said you're my only friend. I want you to be happy, and I want you to control your life not me."
When the redguard looked back up at her, there were tears welling up in her eyes for a moment but they did not seem to be of sorrow or anger. "Thank you..."