Chapter Thirty-Seven

"You have no idea how lucky you are!"

Vex and Mjoll shared a long look before casting their gaze at the still lecturing dunmer. "I'm pretty sure you've told us that already," drawled Vex as she pushed her back against the wooden chair she rested within. Mjoll, while tired of hearing the mage scold them, refrained from making a remark that would surely drive the lecture to start over.

"Do you have any idea how close you were to losing them both? Not just the one that was attacked!"

"Yes we realize the danger Yosa'Min poses now," said Vex tightly.

Siulon instinctively narrowed her milky white eyes, and she pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's not just that!" She hissed briskly, "Iona, the mage, she nearly killed herself to save the wounded one. She was casting spells for nearly a half a day straight, very few chances to rest or regain any magicka. You push too far and you end up drawing from your very life to cast a spell. I'm afraid she's suffered some sort of damage in her efforts to save the other."

"Damage?" Said Mjoll, finding that word... terrifying.

"I am not sure as of yet," said Siulon with a sigh, "my efforts thus far have been on purging your companion of the vampire's poison."

"We appreciate that," said Mjoll, "truly."

With a wave of her hand, she brushed the gratitude aside. "Yes well you may thank Colette Marence as well," she said with a distaste thick in her voice, "she is the one that mended her wounds after all, I simply removed the disease that would surely kill her." She sniffed. "I suppose I did do the more important part." Vex rolled her eyes, and was glad the blind elf would have no way of knowing.

"How will you know if Iona has been hampered in some way?" Asked the Lioness, moving the conversation back towards the redheaded nord. It was still a bit of a surprise to her that she possessed magic, but she wasn't going to spit at anything that saved a friend. At least, she hoped she could still call Lydia that.

Siulon, leaning against the stone walls around them, seemed lost in thought for some time before she responded. "I will have to cast a spell, nothing too powerful but enough to get a gauge of where her magicka levels naturally rest." Even though she could not see it, she seemed to tell they were giving her odd looks of confusion. "Think of magicka like stamina, only for mages. You can increase it over time through careful practice and exercise, but it has its limits. The more powerful a spell, the more magicka it requires to cast it. Knowledge to expand your skills as a mage are crucial, it is why we study so much. However, far too often a novice mage will attempt to perform a spell beyond their capability and it will either go terribly awry... or simply kill them. Iona must posses an incredible will to have done what she did."

"When you're desperate to save those you care about," said Vex, "just about anything is possible."

There was a familiar sense of grief that dashed its way across the blind elf's face, but nothing was said on the matter from her. Instead, she gave a soft sigh. "So aside from attempting to drink your companion's blood, what did your quarry do?"

They grew rather silent, a tightness filling their chests. "You... You weren't entirely wrong," she said slowly. "She was very different. Aggressive, accusatory, just about anything we said or did seemed to upset her. She... She attacked us when Mjoll and I confronted her on the beach."

"So it is as I said, she will not know you as she once did, and she will act out against you," Siulon said firmly, "she will either kill or convert you. There is no middle ground with these beasts."

"There was more to it then that," argued Vex, "she was... so utterly changed and yet it was like some part of her was there beneath it all. Like she was saying things she had been too afraid or uncertain what to say before but now..."

Siulon frowned. "No. Perhaps she might have had stirrings of whatever she expressed, but trust me, vampires... Their past is changed in their own minds to make what they endure acceptable. To make drinking blood and hunting other sentient creatures okay. They must justify to themselves by convincing their own minds that mortality is a bad thing, that living beings are just as bad as they are or worse. They don't do it intentionally, it's just something that happens. Memories are locked away, muddled or corrupted to keep from realizing the true horrible reality of their existence."

"You make it sound like something else is controlling them," commented Mjoll.

"It almost is... Think of a fledgling vampire like a child," she held her hands out and a swirl of magic drifted from her fingertips until settling in a vague shape of an infant. "When they are first turned they are susceptible to many things that will sway the kind of monster they will become. Those who are forced into violence, desperation, kill or die situations and cruelty, these are the ones that grow to be the most unlike their former selves. If they interact with their past, how their loved ones treat them is also key. The mortal soul is no longer tied to them like they are you or I," she explained and another shimmer of magic made the childish illusion contort as a second, shinning one was torn out from its chest, small and fragile looking. The women stared in awe at the light show. "The soul, what makes us what we are, is separated from the body and contained in a plane of Oblivion. Without our soul, we change into something monstrous..."

"So... Would returning her soul be what would change her back?" Asked Vex, trying to find the silver lining in the lecture. "Is that the cure?"

With a soft nod, Siulon's fingers danced once more and the illusions collided into one seemingly whole form. "I have shared some letters with Falion since your visit," Vex tried to picture the dunmer writing and imagined she had a bit of help with that, "and he confirmed my suspicions. I still do not know how to perform the ritual myself but... yes in theory it should cure her."

Bristling now, Mjoll rose to her feet. "Are you saying you don't know if it'll work. Has Falion done it before?"

"Yes yes he has," she waved off their growing worries, "but it is not always successful. I'm sure he told you of the risks."

"Perhaps Iona knows more than we do about the arrangement," said Vex.

"She already told us what Falion said about her being a willing participant," Mjoll countered, "but do you know of any other reason Yosa might not be cured?"

Grimacing with thought, the dunmer was silent for a little while. When she finally spoke, her voice was tight and pained. "If it has been too long since she was turned, when her soul is reunited with her body she may just die entirely. It is not guaranteed, but I have... seen... for lack of a better word, it happen. Some bodies, usually those of your races -breton, nord, so on- will wither away after centuries of life beyond your usual lifespan. Though, I have heard tale of ancient nordic vampires restored to their humanity. It varies really. Sometimes the mind is snapped, I suspect due to being unable to cope with their actions, and others are perfectly fine. Some do not change in behavior and mind as they were as a vampire, usually that's if they are of the older kind. A month is not an exact date honestly, as some things could accelerate the mental change going on in their mind, while others may stall it, it is just the usual time."

They cast mixed looks between each other, Mjoll and Vex uncertain what to say. It sounded like they should have reason for a bit more hope, while at the same time more and more doubt was thrust upon them to damn their friend into Oblivion. "There's not much we can do... is there?" Asked Vex.

"I would be lying if I said there was."

"Siulon, you're the one that wrote those vampire books aren't you? The ones you originally showed us not just the later edition," Vex said, pulling the book she'd taken to carrying around out of her nearby satchel and pressed it into the dunmer's hand. The mage felt along the ribbing of the book, as if trying to recognize it by touch before giving a soft nod. "Then you know a whole lot more than what you're telling us."

"I'm trying to help," snarled Siulon.

"Help how though?"

"I'm trying to keep you alive." She scowled at the pair of humans, and placed the book down on a nearby counter. "You do not seem to understand the true gravity of your situation. Yosa'Min has nearly killed one of you, she was completely willing to in fact!"

"She was bloodthirsty and hurt," countered Mjoll crossing her arms. "You say they are beasts, and you're right. A wolf will hunt when it is hungry and wounded."

"But simply being around prey makes them thirsty," spat Siulon, "The younger they are the worse their control is. You are in a terrible situation in which your only chance of truly fully saving her is to act now but she is at her most volatile and dangerous. Worse yet she has a sire that has stuck by her instead of abandoning her. She thinks she has safety, support, kinship," further said Siulon, "all of the things you hope to offer her and she already possesses them. Why would she ever give up power and purpose when she has those things already? The clan politics aside, Yosa'Min has joined one of the most powerful and ancient breeds of vampires known."

Mjoll frowned deeply. "What are you talking about?"

"There are bloodlines in vampires, lineages of a certain clan that carry on traits over time and infection. Think of dogs and how they are bred over time. Clans are more organized than stray vampires, and possess abilities far greater than their lesser kin. The Volkihar clan, the one in which Yosa'Min has been turned to, has the ability to transform into a monstrous vampiric abomination. That is the creature you faced when you first found her, her sire transformed. This form is often referred to as the Vampire Lord, as it has only ever been seen in the Volkihar, whom are believed to descend directly from Molag Bal in order to have these powers."

"You're starting to go over my head," said Mjoll slowly.

With a frustrated sigh, Siulon shook her head. "Yosa'Min is part of a very powerful group that can transform into monsters. They no doubt have thralls, a secluded lair no one has ever found, and have had centuries to perfect themselves. This is not some rogue group you might come across in a backwater cave and simply be done with, this is a clan as strong as any legendary guild." The imperial stiffened at the thought. "If you think you can simply walk up to her and ask her to be cured you're grossly naive."

"We weren't planning on doing that," said Mjoll tightly.

"Then what were you planning on doing?"

"Her memories," Vex spoke up. The pair looked at her, Siulon tilting her ears a bit more towards her while golden orbs burned on the imperial. "You wrote it yourself, memories are distorted... corrupted for the vampire's own survival. We were hoping that perhaps we could trigger something that would pull back the mental veil, to show her the truth she's chosen to ignore."

Siulon gave a tight lipped frown. "That is certainly a risky prospect."

"What other choice do we have? She can't be cured by force or it will kill her, we can't give up or she will never be herself again, we can't try and just talk to her or beg her because she will push away or attack us. What other option do we have than awakening some part of her that remains mortal?"

What the dunmer said next was like dropping a stone in a calm surface that was in turmoil beneath. "Have you not considered putting her down?"

"No!" Both of them said briskly, Mjoll and Vex both on their feet with fierce expressions. "We will exhaust every last option before that happens," added Vex. "She's our friend, our family, we're not giving up."

"I can respect your loyalty but do you realize you're trying to save a person that might not even be real anymore, just a memory in your mind?" There was a hollowed tone to her words, as if familiar with what she spoke of.

"Might doesn't mean she is. I gave up on Yosa'Min once, and I've regretted it ever since. I'm tired of letting fear and hurt control me, and right now she needs me just like Lydia and Iona and even Vex do. So unless it comes to a point where there truly is no other option, I'm going to try to save her." She caught Vex eyeing her, and gave a small smile. The imperial returned it.

They fell into a bit of silence, only broken when Vex gave a sigh. "Well this was productive. I'm going to check on Lydia," she said, "see if she's up yet."

"If she is I would be amazed," said Siulon with a dismissive note. "Most people are unconscious for a week after something like this, and it is only been a few days since she was wounded. Spares them most of the pain honestly."

"Unfortunately I travel with a group of obnoxiously determined nords," replied Vex as she left the room they were in and made her way down the curving hallways of the college tower. It didn't take long for her to reach the room Lydia was occupying, Onmund kindly offering it and instead bunking with J'zargo in the meantime. She stopped at the curtain in place that acted as a barrier, and frowned as she noticed sounds were coming from the other side but they were not the noises of snoring or even Iona softly talking to Lydia as Vex had caught her before. They were noises of kissing, and her ears burned softly as she moved the curtain away just so to peak inside.

Iona was blocking most of her view, but the redhead was certainly straddling the brunet, one of Lydia's hands on the small of her back while the other was entangled in fiery hair. The passionate sounds of their kissing continued for a few more moments, Vex watching with shock and interest, when Lydia pulled back muttering in pain. "Oh," came Iona's soft voice, sliding off the injured nord with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking about-"

"It's fine," Lydia assured her despite the cringe on her face, a hand having moved to her neck that was a blazing red hue.

"I'll go get Colette," offered Iona, moving off the bed entirely and started towards the curtain flap. Vex jumped back with alarm, managing to skirt a few steps back to make it look like she was just arriving when the nord had exited the room. "Oh," she said, a soft blush still to her features. "Hello Vex."

"Hey," said the imperial, managing to hide she'd just been spying on the pair, "how's Lydia?"

"Awake," she said with a smile, "still in pain even if she doesn't want to admit it."

Shrugging, Vex gave her as much of a comforting look as she dared. "Well Siulon says most people are asleep for a week after all this... Not a surprise there."

Nodding in agreement, Iona stepped around her. "Right well, I'm going to fetch Colette, see if she can help her any." With that, she vanished around the curving corner and Vex waited a moment before entering the room. Lydia and Iona? She thought to herself with amusement. Well there's something I should have seen coming.

Stepping into the small room, she was shocked to find Lydia's jaw taut with pain, hazel eyes shut tightly as she struggled to ride a wave of pain. "Lydia?" She asked as she moved further inside. The nord, who'd broken out into a sweat, looked at her with wide eyes. "Are you okay?"

Swallowing dryly, Lydia could only shake her head as she struggled for breath. "I tried to not show Iona, I didn't want to worry her..." she shamefully admitted, "but my neck feels like its on fire and my head is swimming."

"That's where you were bit," offered Vex as she stepped closer, taking the seat Iona had been occupying. "I would be shocked if you weren't feeling... something."

She sucked in a deep breath, hands clenching and relaxing, and after a few tense moments gave a soft nod. "Right... Right..." She managed to open her eyes, and stared up at the ceiling. The lower half of her body was tingling, and she couldn't tell if it was just from slowly waking up or the pangs of desire that kiss had generated within her. Even without the woman in here the thought of her was enough to steal Lydia's attention, taking her mind off of the pain instead allowing her to stew in it. "Vex... If I were to ask you something would you promise not to freak out?"

The imperial gave her a cautious look. "Maybe..."

"What... What was it like when you first kissed Yosa?" Her breathing was slightly erratic, sweat dripping down her brow.

That question had been the last thing the imperial would have expected, she gave the nord a confused look. "Well she kissed me in her sleep so..."

"Okay the first real time then."

"It was... Pleasant while it lasted... Why?"

"Did you... Feel anything?"

Arching a brow, Vex gave her a wry smile. "Why are you asking? You kiss somebody lately, or thinking about it?"

"I just kissed my first woman... And I hope to the Gods it only happens again with her."

Iona found herself in the Arcanaeum, staring at all the tomes on the walls, pristine and well kept. The library, though that felt like an understatement of a word to the warrior woman, was breathtaking. Last time she had entered she'd been so preoccupied trying to find out their next step and speak with Siulon she hadn't taken a moment to appreciate the vastness and scholarly design of the place. Tables and chairs for comfortable reading, books in displays or glass rimmed cases, while the stone center of the room was lined with half walls for seclusion on the sides, the stoneworking rising to the ceiling to form a small circle above. Across the way was the grumpy orc's spot, Urag gro-Shub eyeing her keenly from behind the tall three-sided counter.

After a bit of scanning, she spotted the woman she had come here for, and quickly made her way to where Colette was taking notes from a book at her side upon a table. "Excuse me," she said softly, "but Lydia's awake."

Colette snapped her head up, dark eyes wide. "What! She should be resting still!" She nearly toppled over the chair she'd been sitting in as she abruptly got up. "Why are warriors so restless!" She was muttering as she shuffled outside, her footsteps echoing over the stones and Iona felt a heavy glare for causing so much noise from the orc across the way.

Uncertain if she should follow Colette immediately or if it would make a difference, she gave a soft sigh and began to head back to Lydia. She hadn't gotten very far before a certain scarred dunmer was in her way. "Siulon?" She said, startled almost.

"Yes, that is me," replied the elder mage with a hint of sarcasm, before she gestured for her to follow as she started down the stairs that would return to the courtyard of the college. Confused, the redhead followed the elven one, and soon the pair were in the snow and ice. "I need to discuss some things with you," she said, turning around to face her though Iona suspected it was more for her benefit than Siulon's.

Shrugging softly, she couldn't help but wonder if she was due for a lecture now. "About what?"

"Who trained you?" Siulon asked, her endless gaze looking just over Iona's head.

"No one."

The softest of smiles touched the elf's face but it soon vanished. "That explains a lot. You're aware that you almost killed yourself, aren't you? You were just too afraid to tell anyone." Iona averted her gaze. She'd certainly felt like her body was shutting down bit by bit as she'd tried to keep Lydia alive. The slow burning pain in the back of her mind she'd first mistaken as exhaustion until she found herself having to force past it far differently. She didn't just have to focus on keeping her eyes open and the spell going, but had to remember to even breathe as she'd kept casting spell after spell upon the nord to save her. "What would they think after all, finding out you are a mage and then finding out you were killing yourself..."

"I'd do it again," Iona said firmly, "If it meant saving one of their lives I would."

"I respect that," said Siulon, "but perhaps it will not have to come to that."

"What are you suggesting?"

Siulon held a hand before her, and after a few moments there was a burning ball of fire. "You know this spell?"

"Of course, everyone learns how to make fire first, teacher or no."

The dunmer nodded her head. She played with the fire, allowing it to hover above her hands for a few more moments and bounce from one finger to another. Iona watched, transfixed by the superior mage's ease. Even if she knew how to cast it, she'd have never managed to maintain the spell so flawlessly for so long. The dunmer was manipulating it as if it were her own breath, easing it between each of her digits before catching it between her thumb and middle finger, the fire spreading down her arm. Iona nearly went to help put it out, but Siulon raised her other hand to stop her and then the flames licked away one at a time, leaving an unmarred arm behind.

"How did you do that?"

"Practice and dedication. I can show you how."

Iona frowned softly, and gave a small shake of her head. "I don't know... I can't leave my friends..."

"I'm not asking you too," said the elder mage, the usual barb to her tongue replaced with a bit more welcoming of a tone though it wasn't much. "It will take some time before Lydia is able to function as before; standing up alone will be a daunting task. I suspect none of you will want to move on and leave her here, so in that time I propose I teach you what I can to help you."

The nord seemed a bit skeptical however. "I don't want to sound ungrateful, but what can you teach me? You're an expert on vampires and clearly know your destruction spells but... I know just about nothing. Are you sure you can dumb it down enough for me in so little time?"

"I won't be 'dumbing' anything down," briskly replied Siulon, "I will teach you and you will learn. Trying to cater it to your lack of skill will take more time than not."

"I don't know..."

"Do you want to save Yosa'Min?"

Iona blinked, the frown drawing heavily across her face. "What kind of question is that, of course I do!"

"You are willing to risk life and limb and perhaps even your soul for this woman," Siulon pressed, "but you do not think you can handle a bit of magic to do that? If you are to save the woman you are sworn to serve, then you must give everything you have to do so. Let go of your fears and hesitations. Lydia would be dead if not for you. Do you know what saved her?" Siulon challenged, magic swirling around her body to send a flurry of snow about her. "Magic. Your magic. Not Falion's, not Colette's and nor mine, we finished it but she would have long since been lost to the vampire's poison if not for you. Your sword did not save her, your arcane abilities did."

"I was desperate," said Iona quickly, stepping away from Siulon as the mage grew intimidating. She was not simply a blind elf who bore the scars of her life so openly on her face, she was far more than that indeed and Iona was alarmed to see it slowly if only slightly reveal itself. "I don't know if I could ever do that again."

Siulon raised an arm, a swirl of magic reaching out from her fingertips and then magical barrier formed in front of her, shimmering in the air like heat and steam. "This is a ward," she said, "it is something that will protect you in combat as surely as a shield so long as you maintain it."

"Siulon-"

The elf ignored her, and with her other hand she summoned a blade of purple magic. "You can also form magical weapons if you so desire," she said, "the skills you know as a warrior will not be lost in the arcane arts... Simply modified."

"I appreciate what you're trying to do but I'm a warrior first, a mage second. I don't think I'll really catch on before Lydia's better and I don't want to waste your time."

"I was a writer first," said Siulon briskly, ending the spells. "Then life decided to kick me so hard in the arse I went blind. You're only wasting my time by hesitating. Your magic saved your friend, and I suspect it wasn't the first time it has either. Heat of the moments in battle, split second decisions to where your instincts didn't tell you to swing your sword or bash your shield, they told you to use magic. How many times have you changed tactics entirely and relied upon your magic for a successful attack?" Iona dipped her head in admission of the fact. "You're a mage Iona, it doesn't have to be everything that you are and it doesn't have to be the important part either... Just don't deny it or it may be the one thing that can save you and your friends and you were too afraid of learning it."

Iona eyed the mage carefully, listening to her words and finding the wisdom in them. How many times had her magic proved useful in her quest with Lydia in Morthal alone? Each time they'd fought a vampire? She couldn't deny that magic was certainly useful in a pinch but was that truly what she first replied upon? Once she was around Lydia who'd shown acceptance for her abilities she'd let herself cast them, as if the fear of rejection had been what'd been stopping her this whole time.

Picturing the brunet in her mind, the beautiful way her hair would move in the wind or the sound of her laugh in defiance of death and certain odds, seemed to cause a stir in Iona she was unfamiliar with. A rush of warmth filling her as she reminded herself that they'd just agreed to pursue a relationship making her feel purpose. Even as Yosa'Min's side she'd never felt this determined or certain. The image of Lydia dying in her arms, of the blood and the pain in her eyes and the ache in her heart as Iona thought she'd lose the woman she was falling for filled her mind next, as if she needed some sort of reminder of what was at stake. This wasn't just about how her fellow citizen was going to view her, or if she was brave enough to accept part of who she was.

This was about Yosa'Min and Lydia and she was going to do everything it took to protect them.

"You know, just showing me it won't teach me how to do it..."

The soft smile returned to Siulon's lips. Swiftly pulling a piece of parchment from her robes, she offered it and a charcoal stick to Iona. "Then you best get writing. This is how you cast the spell..." She began, Iona listening intently. She had a lot to cover in so little time.