Ichigo did not wake up embarrassed.

For one thing, Renji woke up far before he had, and got up so that Ichigo wouldn't find them lying together the way they had the night before. He'd really landed himself in it this time, and if Ichigo kicked his ass out, he only had himself to blame. He didn't know why he'd had such a lapse in willpower last night, but he knew he'd gone too far, taken advantage of Ichigo's weakness.

Hopefully if Ichigo remembered any of it, he wasn't upset, or worse, regretful - the last thing Renji wanted to do was embarrass him. Maybe if he crept away and let Ichigo wake up alone, they could avoid any awkward or angry discussions later on.

It was just as well, because he actually hadn't slept well at all, and Ichigo hadn't been much better. The poor guy had woken up all throughout the night throwing off the sweltering covers, only to rack with shivers and pull them back on – then he'd wake up again later drowning in his own snot and would cough nearly to the point of vomiting. Renji would be very surprised if Ichigo didn't feel too miserable to comment on whatever that had been last night, letting Renji lay in his bed with him, even if it was only his leg laying under the covers…

It sucked, but all his hopes were riding on the fact that Ichigo might not even remember, and if he did, he might be feeling too sick to be mad at him. Renji might get another free pass, as he had many times before when he'd pushed his luck a bit too far.

'Wonder how many times I can slide by with the skin of my teeth before he draws a line in the sand...'

Once it had finally gotten light enough outside that Renji had felt alright about getting out of bed, he'd made himself an egg and rice, then checked Ichigo, who'd finally settled down and was dead to the world. It was actually quite worrying, as he hadn't moved other than breathing through his mouth in a few hours, not even to roll over. Figuring it was best to let him sleep, Renji bumbled around the house, but was only able to take about forty-five minute intervals of silence before his paranoia would overtake him and he'd check Ichigo again, only to find him unmoved and still asleep.

After a few hours of this, Renji checked Ichigo's temperature again, careful not to wake him – his fever was bad and remained unchanged for most of the day. Luckily – or perhaps, unluckily if Renji's nerves were considered – Ichigo slept through a lot of it, and when he did halfway wake up, it was only to croak dazedly for water or the bathroom, and after Renji would help him, he'd fall quickly back into a fitful doze.

With Ichigo sleeping, his options for passing the time were pretty limited. Renji was left to play apps on his phone and try to avoid Ichigo's creepy cats. The brown one stalked him through the house, following him if he left the room, and the ragdoll was worryingly absent, hiding away for hours at a time only to pop up silently and scare the living shit out of him. In fact, just a few minutes earlier, it had shown up on a shelf next to him, staring at him, and he'd nearly jumped out of his skin, swearing loudly enough that he checked to make sure he hadn't woken Ichigo up.

A weird mixture of bored and antsy, Renji snooped around for a while, and eventually found the cats' food bag. He fed them, hoping to get them off his back for a while, then washed his hands and decided to check Ichigo again.

Heading down to his room for what felt like the hundredth time, Renji was disappointed to see that Ichigo still hadn't moved in the slightest from where he was cocooned in the blankets. His breathing sounded a bit better, but his face was still pink and sweaty, and Renji could feel the heat radiating off him without even touching him.

He laid a damp cool towel on Ichigo's sleeping forehead and wiped his neck and cheeks. Bringing a few 'sick-foods', Renji patted Ichigo awake and tried to make him eat something, but he was only partially lucid and would move his head away every time Renji tried to feed him. Renji finally gave up and was satisfied when Ichigo took a few sips of water and settled back down to sleep. He'd try again later.

Renji passed the afternoon hours anxiously, trying to watch TV for as long as he could until he couldn't keep himself from poking his head in to check Ichigo again. His longest time was about an hour and fifteen minutes. He raided the fridge and ate dinner alone, and then spent the rest of the night sitting with Ichigo boredly and helping him to and from the bathroom every couple hours.

By the next day, Ichigo had sweat so much that Renji at last felt that it would be cruel not to wash the sheets and let him continue sleeping in that sweat vat. That afternoon was better, and after several hours under a cool towel, Ichigo woke up enough that Renji felt he could be convinced to get out of bed for a bit.

"Here now, you wanna' try getting up for a while?" Ichigo didn't verbally respond, but his eyes did slide over to Renji, who winced - he looked completely wiped. "C'mon," he coaxed, "Come to the couch."

Ichigo managed a nod, rasping an affirmative, but made no move to get up. Shaky and weak, he let his eyes slip closed again as Renji moved the wet cloth off his head and put his arm behind his shoulders, supporting his neck. Renji talked him into sitting up, and brought him to an upright position slowly enough that he wouldn't faint from the headrush.

"Okay? Put your arm around my shoulders. There, get your feet out - okay, can you stand? One sec'..." Renji pulled the top sheet from the bed and bundled it up next to them, holding Ichigo steady by one shoulder. He let Ichigo sit on the edge of the bed and wrapped the blanket around him, pleased that there came no protests.

"Okay, come out to rest on the couch. You can take a bath after you eat something." Against his expectations, Ichigo swallowed it with dignity, and didn't get cranky or demand to be left alone to take care of himself in his stubbornness. He'd let Renji manhandle him and wipe his head and walk him to the bathroom without any complaints. Renji supposed that was something to be thankful for, that he didn't have to fight Ichigo on every issue.

"Ready? Up you go..."

Ichigo didn't immediately keel over after standing up, which was a good sign, but Renji still kept a guiding hand at his back as he led him to the sofa to lay down and watch TV. Ichigo sniffed and took the remote when Renji handed it to him, and let him put a pillow under his head. Renji knew it must be a testament to how yucky he was feeling that he was being so agreeable; Ichigo was never this cooperative normally. "... There," Renji said once Ichigo was all settled in, bundled up like a caterpillar. "Try and stay awake for a while. I'll make something. I know ya' said you weren't hungry, but you should try an' eat..." Ichigo nodded, sniffling, and Renji didn't know whether to feel satisfied or troubled at Ichigo's compliance. This whole time, he hadn't had a single word of complaint. In fact, besides looking completely miserable, his demeanor and expression were actually quite pleasant. Even now, he simply lay quietly and flicked through the channels. He even ate a few bites of oyaku - which was so simple that even Renji could make it.

While Renji was in the kitchen washing out the pot that he'd used, he clicked the button on the wall above the sink to fill the bath. After glancing to Ichigo where he lay pitifully on the couch, but thankfully still conscious, Renji headed to Ichigo's room and stripped the bed with the more active cat near his feet. It seemed to be warming up to him somewhat. He bunched the sheets up under his arm and tried to pet it a bit, and it did let him for a second, two, then tried to bite him, swatting him aggressively and hissing. All the same, a moment later it followed him with its tail raised happily as he bundled the laundry into a bag and looked for fresh linens. Weird animal...

Renji threw the bag in the hallway and opened the door to the bathroom to check the tub, finding it full and steaming. "Ichigo, it's ready," he called, heading back out to find that in the few minutes he'd been gone, Ichigo had somehow found a sickness mask and put in on, then meticulously tucked his blanket back in just like Renji had left it, perhaps in the hopes that he wouldn't notice that he'd gotten up the moment he'd left the room - but no such thing. Renji may be an idiot, but he wasn't stupid.

"What the fuck're you wearing that for in your own house?" Renji wondered exasperatedly, and Ichigo, who'd been sitting there quietly watching TV and occasionally sniffling and sneezing into his mask, looked up with a defensive scrunch to his brow. Renji just huffed, coming towards him and sticking an arm under Ichigo's to hurry him along and help him stand up. He'd sat up on his own, but seemed reluctant to get up and walk again. "Where did you even get that? C'mon, take that off."

"Contagious," Renji deciphered when Ichigo mumbled something at him. He rolled his eyes and walked Ichigo slowly to the bathroom.

"I'm not gonna' get your cold," he told him, hiding how touched he was by his concern. He would've thought Ichigo was too miserable to worry about anyone. By this point he should've learned that Ichigo's kindness didn't take a vacation - or even a sick-day.

"If you're gudda' tek' care a' be, you will."

"I don't get sick, Ichigo."

"Ebrywud' gids' sick," Ichigo said, and because of his mask, when he glared, the effect was taken right out of it because his impressive frown was covered, only his pretty eyes there flashing and squinting at him in annoyance. Renji looked forward and nudged the bathroom door open.

"Not true," he hummed back, looking at his feet, and in a moment of weakness, muttered, "Some of us're lucky enough to avoid it."

Ichigo looked at him for a moment, eyes narrowed, then said something else to him, but Renji huffed and rolled his eyes, pulling the mask off Ichigo's head and prodding him inside. "Get in the tub, I don't know what you're saying."

Ichigo grumbled and went in, holding the edge of the sink and slowly bending to try and take off his clothes. His whole body wobbled and trembled, and Renji cringed, wishing that he'd succeeded in making Ichigo eat earlier than today. With how shaky he was, it took him quite a long time to get his pants down, and when he straightened up he had to pause at the rush of blood to the head.

He clumsily took one foot out of his pants, then the other, then stood there in his boxer-shorts, breathing raspily through his mouth, and Renji startled suddenly as it crossed his mind to give him some privacy. Ichigo didn't tell him to go, but all the same, he stood in the hall, meaning to go away, but changing his mind when he wondered if Ichigo might have a spell of dizziness and hurt himself and drown or something. He waited outside while Ichigo undressed and rinsed himself off under the showerhead, and then when he heard him get in the bath, he came in and sat there with him, his back to the tub - and they talked. For a while it was like old times again, and the rock on Renji's chest lifted, even if only momentarily.

He heard Ichigo sigh a bit and the gentle swishing of the bath water as he moved around. "I'm the one goin' da' med school ed' here you are takin' care a' be. It's embarrasin'," Ichigo said more easily. He sniffled and then sneezed.

Renji glanced back over his shoulder a bit to flash a grin, setting his arm up on the edge of the tub. "Mai' doin' a good job?"

"I'd say so," Ichigo hummed, sinking down into the water up to his chin, closing his eyes contentedly. "Steam bath was a good idea. It's already clearin' up a bit." He kept sniffing as his nose began running.

Renji smiled at the sight of him: his skin was damp and flushed from the clouds of steam and his usual fluff of hair was slicked back and dripping, the sunny orange dimming to a dark blonde. 'Ahh, he's cute,' he thought for what felt like the thousandth time, with a wistful inward sigh. 'Damnit, he's cute.'

After a few quiet minutes sitting together chatting mildly, Ichigo seemed much more alert, to Renji's great relief. The poor guy had really started scaring him for a while there, staying asleep and lifeless like that for such a long time. "How'd you know the things to do, huh?" Ichigo wondered aloud, finally taking his washcloth out of the bath and resting it on the side of the tub to cool. He leaned back to soak, sticking his feet out at the far side. Renji bit his lip and looked at Ichigo's wet toes, poking out of the water.

"Ahh," he hummed, "So you know when me an' Rukia were little, for a while there we were just living like wild kids." He quirked his lip in an amused grin. "An' y'know, before they finally caught us and got us in a home, we lived outside all the time."

"Mhm," Ichigo prompted, folding the cloth up and setting it on his head, letting the cooled water run down his head and neck.

"And I never got sick," Renji explained with a long sigh. "But she did, all the time. Especially when it got colder," he remembered. "I'd be so scared that she was gonna' die and that I'd be all alone. I never knew what ta' do." His smile disappeared. "Well, they got us eventually, an' then we were in the hospital for a while. Ugh," he shuddered, "hate thinking about it."

"They gave you all your vaccines, huh," Ichigo guessed amusedly, sniffing and smiling.

Renji stuck his lip out and rubbed at his arms. "Fucking hate the doctors'," he grumbled.

"You're insane. I dunno' how you the fuck you got your tattoos."

Huffing and waving a hand, Renji blurted, "They were important, so I-" Shaking himself, he continued, "Anyway… we got put in a home then, and the next time Rukia got sick, the lady there was taking care of her and I made sure to remember what she did – in case."

Ichigo sniffled and let his hands play in the water, part of his bangs coming loose from where he'd slicked them back in the steam. There was just a little curl of hair hanging over his forehead, a bead of water trapped there, swelling until it grew too heavy and dripped off. "In case what?" he wondered curiously, causing Renji to shake himself, having been gazing in fascination.

"Ah…" Getting back on track, he scratched the back of his neck in a bit of embarrassment. "I had this dumb fantasy that me an' Rukia would escape the home together an' that if she got sick again, I could take care of her on my own." He shrugged. "It was stupid ta' want to leave when they were feeding us, but I didn't wanna' be there. I knew we wouldn't find a family, so what was the point."

He cut himself off then, beginning to ramble. "Well, that's not fair, Rukia did get adopted. No one wanted me though," he trailed off, realizing how much he sounded as though he was pitying himself.

"Don't say that," Ichigo said with a frown, and Renji's ears grew hot, and he glared at his knees.

"Well it's true, ain't it? I never got adopted, Ichigo. When people came in to see me, they didn't want me as their son. Foster families kept sending me back... It's to be expected," he brushed off, "I was always trying to run away. I wasn't likely to be adopted in the first place."

"That's fucked up," Ichigo told him firmly. "It's not expected. No one should've sent you back. You were a kid - so you misbehaved, that's what kids do when they're alone and scared, or upset. It doesn't mean they get to send you back," he muttered darkly. Finally he said, "You just didn't find the right people." Renji looked at the door, frowning.

"I try ta' tell myself that…" Taking a heavy breath, he considered, "I've got Rukia, and Ikkaku-san and Yumichika-san…" ' – and you. I have you too.' Scratching at his ponytail, he muttered, "I did alright for a family. Just took me longer than most to find someone ta' love me." He was glad he hadn't looked at Ichigo's face for that one, because the ensuing silence made Renji want to take a hammer to his teeth.

"Renji…"

"Ahh, sorry," he cleared his throat, hearing that he was making Ichigo uncomfortable with his self-pity. "Didn't mean ta' get so serious." He leaned back towards Ichigo and grinned. "Anyway, I'm sure if I did get the bug, you could take care a' me way better than I'm doin'."

Ichigo looked at him for some time, then smiled a bit. "Probably," he teased, then sank into the water. Renji leaned his arm on the edge of the bathtub for a moment, grinning, then suddenly realized how far he'd turned around when his eyes were able to wander farther than should've been allowed. For a moment he was frozen, because he doesn't even know when he'd twisted sideways or how he could've done so without realizing, but he'd indeed turned far too much for privacy's sake- Ichigo was in the bath for god's sake, beautifully naked, and since the water had no soap, it was clear straight to the bottom of the tub.

Renji's seen it all before, he tried to tell himself that, and although it doesn't affect him in an indecent manner, he still found his lapse in self-control alarming, and despite Ichigo's continuing smiles, he still turned his back firmly and dug his nails into his leg as punishment.

Seeming to take his sudden tight-lipped silence for something other than what it was, Ichigo awkwardly suggested, "You don't have to stay, y'know."

Renji's shoulders tightened in dread, and he immediately made to get up. "I can go, if it's weird-"

Ichigo quickly stopped him by reassuring, "As long as you're not bored." Renji glanced back to see him sheepishly settling deeper in the tub, his knees poking out of the water and gleaming. "I just wanna' stay in for a while longer."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it's nice," he hummed.

"I can bring you a book or something," Renji offered. Ichigo considered for a time, and then nodded.

"Okay, thanks. The one in the TV cabinet."

"Sure." Getting up, he was careful to keep his eyes from wandering and taking in the view, which was torturously clear from the vantage point standing provided, giving a clear shot straight down into the tub and Ichigo's lap.

'Stop it. Just stop it.'

Heading out into the front room, Renji went straight there, looking under the TV and opening the little doors beneath it to see Ichigo's DVD and game collection. There was a book there, marked with bookmark, and Renji prized it out, holding it in his hands and turning it around to read the cover when the front had no words on it. Oh right, an English book - they were backwards.

'The…' he read slowly, ' Pic-… something… of…' he tried, then sighed. 'Shit.'

He brought Ichigo the book and held it out to him. "Here," he said. Ichigo sniffed and perked up at the sight of him, sitting up a bit in the tub, elbow on the edge of the bath.

As if able to read Renji's mind and do exactly what he dreaded, Ichigo asked, "Can you read it out?" Giving an apologetic look, he explained needlessly, "My hands are wet."

"I dunno'…" This was something he'd always tried to hide. Renji had been in the advanced classes and passed with great grades, but it had been a real struggle – he was badly dyslexic, and it was a thousand times worse with the Latin alphabet and their backwards reading and writing. He didn't want Ichigo to think he was stupid, more than anything. "My English isn't so good," he tried, but he knew it was no use. He was pitifully weak for those eyes.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Ichigo assured, but he wasn't able to keep the disappointment out of his voice, and Renji inwardly groaned.

"Ahh, okay," he agreed, sitting down next to the tub and holding the book in his hands, looking down at it with dread. Cracking it open to the bookmarked part of the short story, he stared at the page for a long time, before making out the first words.

With a heavy sigh, he began to read aloud clumsily, keeping his place with his finger, going one word at a time. The first sentence wasn't so bad – he only messed up on the name – and when Ichigo didn't correct him or react in any way other than looking back at him when Renji glanced his way, he stumbled on.

"'So I have… m-…" Renji sighed and struggled, brow furrowing in embarrassment. Ichigo sat up then when he got stuck, and Renji froze as Ichigo leaned against the end of the bath, face close to his ear as he read over his shoulder. Heart sputtering in his chest, he held absolutely still, afraid if he so much as twitched, Ichigo would move away.

"'So I have murdered Sibyl Vane,'" Ichigo said nearly perfectly, voice quiet next to his ear. "She killed herself from heartbreak earlier," he explained.

"Oh shit," Renji whispered, eyebrows raising, interest piquing, and let his shoulders relax as Ichigo cozied up next to him. In any other situation, he may have been annoyed to have someone sniffling in his ear, but he didn't think he'd ever been as content as he was now, with Ichigo reading aloud over his shoulder, his arm touching his back just barely.

Renji would occasionally turn the page for them and followed where Ichigo read with his finger, and would mouth the words along with him – as he heard them spoken aloud, they untangled one by one, and he could read them perfectly.

After a long time following the dark mystery of the painter and the model, Renji set the book down in his lap and looked up with a sudden thought. "Ichigo," he said very seriously, "is this a gay book?"

Ichigo stared back at him with his mouth ajar for a moment, then snorted loudly, "Pfff'," clapping a hand to his face when his laughter made his nose drip.

"Why're you laughing?" Renji huffed. "It's a legitimate question!"

"You're just-" Ichigo snickered a bit more, and Renji's anger was soothed a bit at the sight of his giggles.

"No, I wanna' know," he insisted, "are Baziru and Dorian gay?"

Ichigo sighed and shook his head with a roll of his eyes. "How would I know?"

Renji's brow furrowed. "The painting," he said, "That's why they're both obsessed with it." Ichigo mumbled that he was impressed that he'd actually been paying attention, but Renji insisted Ichigo answer him, "Are they in love?"

Ichigo considered for a time. "Well," he finally said thoughtfully, scratching at his forehead. "Basil seems to love Dorian, I guess," he muttered rather uncertainly.

"What about Dorian?" Renji pressed, determined to know how it ended. The book seemed so sad and dark that it gave him the feeling that it didn't work out for them.

"I think it's unrequited. Dorian's…" Ichigo hummed sourly, looking away, "not a good person," he finished.

Renji looked down at the page, again indecipherable unless he stared long and hard at each word individually. It had seemed so easy a moment before... "Do they get together?"

"Don't ask me to spoil it," Ichigo grumbled, but Renji wouldn't let it drop, frowning.

"So they don't then?"

Ichigo let out a long sigh, staring forward. "… No," he said shortly, glancing to Renji with his brow tensed. "No, they don't get together."

Renji thought on that for a time. "… What happens in the end?" he wondered trepidatiously.

"…" Ichigo grimaced, and didn't say anything.

"Something horrible?" Renji guessed quietly, and Ichigo opened his mouth, and for a moment, Renji's heart began pounding quite hard, because he'd never seen that look on Ichigo's face before, and it almost seemed like... like-

The cats began fighting in the other room, kicking up quite the racket, and Renji huffed annoyedly, "Oh for god's sake." He looked back to Ichigo, but the moment was gone once again. Ichigo was staring at his knees, expression far-away.

"You can borrow the book if you want," he eventually offered.

Renji shrugged his shoulder. "Nah… I'm not a strong reader. Plus it sounds like kind of a downer."

"You don't know what's gonna' happen. Besides," Ichigo said, "It's only a story." Renji looked back sharply and saw Ichigo smiling warmly, and he hesitantly smiled back, toes curling up.

"I guess…"

"Good," Ichigo said, and although his face was already bright and hot from the steam, if Renji didn't know better, he'd say Ichigo might be blushing – judging from the way he avoided his gaze and turned his mouth down the way he did when he was embarrassed.

"Now get out, or I won't be responsible for what you see," Ichigo joked, making to get up. Renji laughed heartily, standing up and closing the book, setting it on the sink.

"I'll get a towel. Stay in. You'll get a chill."