Chapter Fifty-One

"Iona," came Mjoll's soft voice, "let her go."

Reddened eyes rose from Lydia's body, Iona's hands pressed to the brunet's skull, flickering white magic surrounding her hands. "I can't," she rasped, weariness tugging at her. "I know I can save her, I just have to keep trying."

"Iona," Mjoll repeated, placing a hand on her shoulder, "she's gone."

The warrior mage looked up at her with anger, shrugging off Mjoll's touch and starting to cast the magic once more. Tendrils of white kissed at the portions of blood and skull, a pink fleshy substance intermingled with torn hair that would make a weak stomach vomit. The magic fizzled with strain, energy rolling over her arms before exploding in a burst of light, Iona collapsing onto Lydia, hands balled into fists. The frustrated, desperate cry that escaped her made Mjoll frown further, unsure of how to comfort her. Iona looked back up, catching sight of Serana who lingered by Yosa'Min as she stirred. "You!" She called, the vampire blinking at her, "You know magic! Can you bring her back?"

With a sad frown, Serana shook her head. "I know necromancy not resurrection. I can bring back her body but not her soul. It wouldn't be her."

"What about vampirism?" The question came with clear desperation, Iona's mind clouded and not realizing the true depth of what she asked while the rest tensed. Serana did not answer immediately, instead focusing on the noises around her. Three heartbeats, she could pick out, not four.

"I can't turn the dead," she said, a small part of her relieved. "And even if she were alive just enough the process would kill her in this condition."

Tears freshly welling in green eyes, Iona turned to the corpse and began casting magic. The spell faltered after a minute, she downed a potion to restore herself but it died once again in the blink of an eye. "Come on!" She snarled, trying to push past the wall of exhaustion settled firmly upon her. "Come on!"

"Iona!"

"Please Lydia come back to me!"

"Iona!" Her hands were seized by Vex, the imperial forcing her to turn away from Lydia for a moment. "Enough, you're going to kill yourself!"

The nord whimpered, shaking her head. "No no I can bring her back, I just have to keep trying."

"No, you can't. None of us can. She's dead." Amber eyes softened, and Vex pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, but you can't bring back the dead Iona, she's gone. There was nothing you could do." The redhead was stunned, struggling to process the harsh reality, before clutching Vex and bursting into tears. "It's not your fault." Her voice caught with emotion, Vex holding Iona almost as tight. Without a word Mjoll joined the embrace, Yosa'Min limping over and stopping hesitantly. Without missing a beat Vex raised an arm, and Yosa'Min darted down to join them. Serana watched on, sadness filling her despite not knowing Lydia herself.

When they separated, Iona wiped her eyes. "I'm okay," she said, "I just… I need some time."

"Of course," replied Mjoll, the three backing up to give her space. Iona looked down at all the blood. "Maybe you should step outside," suggested Mjoll, Iona nodding her head and rising to her feet. Mjoll assisted her, and lead her towards the door.

Yosa'Min stepped after her, a lost look about her. "I'll keep any vampires from doing something stupid," she said to Serana who went to say something but Yosa'Min dashed out of sight before she could try to comfort her.

In a blink it was only Vex and Serana who remained, any other vampire in the castle outside driving off what remained of the Dawnguard. The brunet cleared her throat, and gestured to the body. "Were you two… close?" She asked, Vex's amber gaze settled on Lydia.

Only partially drawn out of her thoughts, Vex gave a small shrug. "As close as we could be I think. We didn't agree on many things, but she was a good woman."

"I'm sorry for your loss… I can have a coffin prepared for her," she offered, trying to be mindful of whatever grief Vex was experiencing.

"She was from Whiterun," replied the imperial, "she'd want to be buried in the Hall of the Dead there."

"I can have her transported."

Vex squinted at her cautiously, the taller woman giving an awkward frown in response. "Are you being honest?"

"What reason would I have to lie?"

"I'm not sure. Considering you're the one that took Yosa from us in the first place though you'll have to forgive my skepticism that you're here to help us now."

Serana rolled her eyes, a hand going to her hip. "It was an accident, I was left with no other choice unless you'd rather I'd have just let her die?" Vex's jaw tightened but she made no remark. "I thought not."

"So are you the same vampire as the one we fought in the swamp?"

A blush colored the nord's cheeks and she nodded. "I am... sorry about attacking you, I didn't know you were allies of Yosa until she started shouting," she apologized, "and if I harmed you on the beach I am sorry for that as well"

Vex blinked, a curl to her lips as she crossed her arms, something about the motion sending a rush through Serana as she was reminded of her vision in the Soul Cairn. "So if you're apologizing and offering corpse ferrying, does that mean we're safe here?"

"You mean a lot to Yosa'Min, and she is my friend. So long as she cares for you you will be allowed here. If she decides you should leave… well it will only get violent if you choose it will."

The imperial tilted her head up in challenge. "I'm sure you know why we're here."

"My father captured you and wanted to use you as a means of controlling Yosa."

"There is that, yes, but the very reason we were on that damn beach to even be caught?" She replied sharply, her tone taking Serana by surprise. "You're not that dumb are you?"

Tisking her tongue, Serana couldn't stop the sneer that drew across her face. "You're here to take Yosa'Min away, because you foolishly think you have a cure."

"We do have a cure."

"Have you tested it on another?"

Vex gave an easy shrug. "The mage who will perform the ritual has."

"And what if she doesn't want it?" Serana loomed over Vex but the imperial would not show the fear that crept up her spine. Shadows swirled around the vampire, burning eyes transfixing Vex. "What if I don't let that happen? In one bite I could kill you."

"You said so yourself, Yosa cares too much about us to let that happen."

"I distinctly recall you and that Lioness saying she was changing, how do you know she's the same woman anymore?"

"Because she defied your father for Mjoll."

With narrowed eyes, Serana repeated her first question, trying to see if the infuriating woman before her was a true threat or not. "But what if she says no?"

There was a slight crack, a shadow that slipped across Vex's face and she frowned. "We'll just have to see what happens, and how it comes to be."

"You know she could be happy with me," said Serana heavily, a wistfulness to her words that Vex recognized. "Now that my father's gone there's no danger to her here aside from the Dawnguard, but people like them will always exist. She could actually have that happiness she never had with you, you just have to leave her be. Yosa'Min spirals when you show up, she doesn't want to hurt you but you're pressing your luck every time."

Stepping forward so that the space between them was consumed, Vex sneered. "You haven't slept with her have you?"

The accusation took Serana off-guard, making her sputter momentarily and step back from her. "What? No, why in the name of the Divines would I?"

"Yosa doesn't have the best record of keeping herself celibate, especially around pretty ladies."

The complement, small or unintentional as it might have been, sent a rush through Serana. She cleared her throat and responded, "She's my friend, the only one I have in fact, I would never jeopardize that."

"Then you need to give her this choice," replied Vex evenly, stepping after her, "because otherwise I can guarantee she will never forgive you. If you truly care for her, if you're not just saying those things to trick yourself and her, then when she comes back in here you need to let her decide what she wants."

"What's stopping me from charming you, keeping you from telling her?" The panicked thoughts of losing Yosa'Min, a sinking feeling in her gut telling her the redguard would choose to become mortal once more rather than remain a vampire with her, was far too loud to ignore.

Vex laughed mockingly, shaking her head. "She saw through your father's charms, why wouldn't she see through yours?"

"Then I make you disappear," Serana offered, fangs on full display for Vex's view.

Though her gaze lingered on the monstrous teeth, Vex replied swiftly and firmly, "I'd fight back."

"Let's be realistic, I beat all four of you on my own, I'm sure you stand no match."

With a smirk, Vex let an easy shrug roll off her shoulders. "I'd damn sure not go down easy," she replied, shimmering for a moment before vanishing. Serana blinked, taken by surprise and sniffed for where the imperial had gone off to, terror shooting through her at the realization that she might have truly caused a fight to break out once more. Then a dagger was pressed to her neck, ebony digging into her throat and the imperial's body pressed against her back, restraining her with her other arm. "So if you're going to be against me, what's stopping me from slitting your throat?" Whispered Vex, a jolt rushing down Serana's spine and she had to breathe deeply to steady herself but all she smelled was the imperial, sending her spiraling once more.

Smiling ruefully, the vampire held her hands up in submission rather than blink away in a haze of bats. She couldn't afford to fight Vex, not if she wanted to convince Yosa'Min to stay with her. "For the same reason I cannot simply drain you," evenly replied Serana, before adding, "You continue to surpass expectations." Vex still held the blade to her throat. "Forgive me, Yosa'Min is all I have, she truly is my only friend. I'm sure you can understand not wanting to lose her… I can only hope she feels the same."

"Maybe she does," replied Vex as she withdrew her blade, reappearing in front of Serana. "Which is why we have to give her the choice, neither one of us can pick for her."

Serana gave a nod of her head, burning eyes settled upon the imperial. "She was right about you."

"How so?"

"Nothing can stop you once you've made up your mind, can it?"

Shrugging as if to feign humility, Vex easily replied, "Well if you're gonna do something might as well be great at it."

"I suppose so…"

There was a long silence between them, Vex's amber gaze shifting between Serana and Lydia, the reality of her situation slowly catching up with her. The confidence melted away into weariness, the triumph of victory submitted to exhaustion in defeat, the joy and relief became grief and sorrow. With a deep sigh the imperial walked away from Serana, and sat besides Lydia. A hand closed her eyelids, Vex struggling to contain the surge of emotions. As respectfully as she could, Serana left the shrine, leaving Vex alone with Lydia.

Once the doors were closed behind her, Serana let out a long sigh, back against the wood. It was less than a minute before Garan Marethi was approaching her, Serana straightening up and trying to mask the anxiety and exhaustion she felt. "Fear not," he said smoothly, "it's only natural to feel as you do after a battle like that. You've got a lot before you now, my Lady."

"So that's how things are?" Serana drawled, rolling her eyes. "Does regicide, or at least attempted, always have to be the way we decide our new leader?"

"Well you were going to follow your parents naturally, if you happened to expedite one of their passings what difference does it make? You're the strongest, smartest, and best suited to lead, this clan could use a competent leader for a change."

Serana met his gaze, a lingering sensation of distrust rising up her spine as she wondered if he'd plot against her like Orthjolf and Vingalmo did her father. "I killed father's lieutenants," she said suddenly, the dunmer giving her an amused smile.

"Of course you did, they were such power-hungry fools," he easily replied, "worry not my Lady, the crown has far too many fangs pointed at it for my liking. I'm afraid you're the leader now, even if your mother were to return I doubt anyone would follow her. She's about as mad as your father was." The dunmer vampire then gestured towards the main hall. "Perhaps you would like to address the clan? The Dawnguard have been routed across the water, any remaining are already in cages with the rest of our cattle."

"Of course," she said simply, "afterwards I would like a coffin prepared for the mortal who died, Lydia."

"I doubt the dogs would appreciate having to tear through that," he remarked dryly.

Instantly she frowned, burning eyes narrowing to a point that Garan flinched nervously. "She will be returned to Whiterun where she belongs," she ordered firmly, "no one is to touch her aside from place her in the coffin. If they do, I'll feed them to the hounds instead."

With a bow the dunmer obeyed. "As you wish my Lady."

"Good, now summon the clan… it's time they met their new leader."

The cold wind of Skyrim was something Yosa'Min would never forget, and never miss. Even undead as she was, supposedly unable to feel the same as before, cold wind felt like cold wind. She stood a few feet from Iona who sat on the bridge, a Dawnguard corpse nearby while vampires slowly returned to the castle, eyeing them curiously as they went. Yosa'Min snarled at one or two of them to move along, but no one tried to talk to the redhead who wept. Mjoll attempted to comfort the woman, but to little avail as Iona slowly accepted Lydia's death.

"I-" Yosa'Min started to say, only for the words to die in her throat like all the others she attempted at. Her heart ached, unbeating as it was, as she pictured Lydia. She was near to breaking down herself, but something about the fighting had drained all the energy she possessed, even for grief. A part of her was certain that in time she'd be crying as well, instead of stone and simply hurting.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed.

Green eyes rose from calloused hands, face dirtied with distinct streaks upon her cheeks from the tears. "She was the best thing in our lives," managed Iona, her voice raw.

"I should have protected her," Yosa'Min said a bit swifter, a surge of guilt rising above the numbness. "I should have sensed Isran coming."

"It's not your fault," spoke up Mjoll, frowning heavily. "Lydia could have just called out a warning but she decided to jump in the way. She put herself there, you didn't force her."

"If I'd been anywhere else in the fighting, if I'd not hurt her before, if I wasn't a vampire-" she cut herself short, the word tasting like poison on her tongue. "If I hadn't been turned, or gotten cured before now she would be alive."

"Yosa it's not your fault," said Mjoll firmly, "it's no one but Isran's, he's the one who held that weapon not you, or Iona."

"But she wouldn't have been here in the fight, none of you would!" Yosa'Min's voice rose as she stared at Mjoll, eyes settling on the dried blood upon her skull. "You got hurt."

"It happens a lot when I'm around you," Mjoll said a bit sadly, hesitantly reaching out for Yosa'Min's hand but she stopped short. The redguard's eyes were clouded with emotion, a visible weight descending on her chest. "You didn't mean for this to happen. You were… avoiding us to try to protect us weren't you?" Yosa'Min gave a nod, her breath hitching. "It's okay Yosa."

"She's dead," Yosa'Min whispered, the words foreign and terrifying.

Mjoll pulled her into a hug, fiercely holding her against herself and refusing to let the redguard feel alone. "I know," uttered Mjoll, her voice cracking. "She was strong and smart and more dutiful than anyone I've ever met. She never gave up on you, she was willing to stay behind if it meant saving you… All she cared about was you and Iona."

"Iona…" Yosa'Min pulled back from Mjoll's fierce embrace, something clicking in place. She could understand grieving for a friend, but something about Iona's desperation had felt too potent, too strong to be for only someone familial. The memory of sitting on a bed telling Lydia to give love a shot filled her mind, the last time she had truly talked to Lydia. "You two gave it a try," she said with realization. "Oh Iona…"

She sat down besides the grieving woman, uncertain if she should hug her, not entirely trusting herself not to harm her. "Just a little more time," Iona was uttering, hands clutching at her head. "One more day."

"I-" Yosa'Min struggled to find her voice, lowering her head in shame. She knew there was nothing she could say to console Iona, that she was going to have to work through those emotions, ride the wave of grief. Looking at her hands, she wondered if she could even help her at all, she only seemed to know how to hurt others. "She deserved so much more than she ever got. She deserved happiness, she deserved love and all she got was pain."

"She had happiness," said Mjoll softly, "sure she knew fear and sorrow but Lydia was happy." Golden eyes settled on Iona. "I'm pretty sure she had love too."

Iona averted her gaze, sniffling loudly. "You didn't know her," she accused.

"Not like you did, no. But when she and I worked together I knew her enough. She was an honorable woman, more than I am. Lydia was truer than all of us." Yosa'Min nodded her head in agreement, Iona numb. "I've never fought against a woman like her. I should take a lesson from her on forgiveness…"

The redguard stiffened, looking at Mjoll with wariness. "Mjoll…"

"Yosa'Min… Let's give Iona some time to herself," the Lioness suggested, "Iona if you need anything just let us know, we're here for you." Iona gave no response as Yosa'Min rose to her feet. They walked further down the bridge, more corpses littering the way and the redguard swooned at the cold scent of blood. She steadied herself on the half wall, looking out at the frozen sea rather than the battle-worn beauty besides her.

"I'm so sorry," apologized Yosa'Min, unable to meet Mjoll's gaze.

"I'm sorry too."

Yosa'Min half turned to her, Mjoll towering over her but nothing about her posture felt threatening. If anything she felt ashamed, nervous, vulnerable; things Yosa'Min did not associate with the vigilante. "I should have told you about Vex in the inn immediately, I should have never kept secrets from you. I shouldn't have kissed her in the first place!"

"Vex told me what happened, explained how it was her idea and she kissed you first."

"It still shouldn't have happened!

"And I should have given you a chance to explain." Mjoll frowned heavily, struggling to admit her true feelings. "I gave you my trust, I gave you my heart, and you betrayed it… and then I gave up. I was so afraid of getting hurt again but I couldn't move on because I still felt… I still cared for you."

Burning eyes stared up at the nord, Yosa'Min frowning softly. "So you meant it?"

"Yes. I told myself again and again that I didn't, but you've been all I've thought about this entire time. When you came back as a thane, I'd hoped it meant the lies were behind us. For a few minutes I'd deluded myself into thinking we could have what I dreamed of."

"But I wasn't out of the Guild."

"I don't care about that anymore," Mjoll said firmly, taking Yosa'Min by surprise. "Yosa, look at you! I don't think being a thief matters anymore when you're a vampire!"

"I didn't turn on purpose, I was dying and Serana saved me."

"Then I'm glad she kept you alive in some form," Mjoll said, "I don't know what I'd do if… Dammit I don't know. I feel like a hypocrite, I feel like a liar and a coward but I can't go on like this anymore!" Her hands balled into fists and she gritted her teeth. "Lydia is dead but at least for a few days she got to feel true happiness, she got to be honest with herself and those she cared for! I wake up every day haunted by your loss, wishing I had done something different, tricking myself into thinking there was nothing I could do." She grasped the half wall, leaning over it with knuckles paling. "Yosa I have spent the last six months wondering if it was all a lie, if I'd been toyed with and brought along for nothing but heartache, or if at one point you'd really loved me."

Yosa'Min stepped forward, gingerly placing a hand on Mjoll's. "When I told you I loved you I meant it, every time. I was trying so hard to get out of the Guild because I wanted to be with you and I wanted you to be happy."

The Lioness gave a pained smile, relief floating off her shoulders before Yosa'Min's eyes. "I made you do all the work though," Mjoll confessed, looking at their hands. She missed the way she felt. "I gave you an ultimatum and expected you to meet it. I was selfish and unfair."

"You helped me try to get out."

"I gave up."

"I lied to you!

"I failed you!"

"I broke your heart!"

"You broke Vex's too!" Mjoll hadn't realized she'd started shouting, facing Yosa'Min now as the hurt feelings resurfaced. "But somehow she not only forgave you she devoted herself to saving you. The woman that represented everything I hate, corruption, greed, cruelty… showed far greater kindness than I ever did. She was there for you when I couldn't bring myself to be, because I was so selfish I was consumed by my pain. I waited for you to fix it instead of trying myself," Mjoll confessed, head lowered as she continued, "Iona devoted herself to saving you even after you nearly killed the woman she loved. Lydia…" She winced softly. "They're all so much stronger than I, if I could be a fraction like them I'd be a thousand times better, even Vex."

"Even Vex?"

Mjoll laughed weakly. "Even that serpent… They questioned me again and again, Vex especially, on why I was really with them. I questioned myself. If I was searching for you to save you, or for myself."

Yosa'Min stared into golden eyes that were filled with pain and conviction. "Why are you here?"

Mjoll grasped Yosa'Min's hands, holding tight as if she would vanish at any moment. "I'm here for us. For you, for me, for whatever future we have, be it together or separate. I want you to be happy, you deserve joy Yosa'Min, and if I'm causing you pain… then I am sorry. I'm here because I'm terrified that you're losing yourself, that in a few days the wonderful woman I knew won't even exist, only her body will."

"You love me?"

The question flittered between them, no magic to try to sway her mind or battle moments from erupting, just the two of them on the bridge. "It's the only thing I'm certain of," replied Mjoll.

Yosa'Min let go of her hands and grasped Mjoll's face, pulling her down to her lips. Muscular arms wrapped around the redguard instantly, the pair meeting forcefully and passionately. The nord was warm and full of life, a fire on a cold night, heat seeping into Yosa'Min everywhere she touched. Mjoll did not shy away from the brush of fangs as the embrace deepend, a thrill running through Yosa'Min at the fact. A desire bubbled from deep within the redguard, hissing through her mind as Mjoll pulled her closer, the familiar urge for blood taking root. Mjoll broke the contact for a split moment, and Yosa'Min nuzzled against her neck, fangs just barely touching her skin.

Drink.

"Fuck," uttered the redguard, recoiling as she caught herself, pushing Mjoll away who blinked in confusion. "I can't… Not like this." A hand ran through dark hair, Yosa'Min pacing almost while her other hand gestured wildly at Mjoll. "I can't control myself, you're too… mortal! I want you so bad, I miss you, I've been running away for so long but I don't want to hurt you Mjoll, never again."

The Lioness was still for a moment, eyes lowered before she spoke, slow and softly, terrified that everything they'd done would be for naught. "We've found a cure."

Yosa'Min blinked at her. "What?"

"A cure, we have it. Lydia and Iona found it while Vex and I searched for you."

"But… how?"

"A mage named Falion, he knows how to turn you back, he's in Morthal," Mjoll replied, "He can do it. Iona and Lydia nearly died to learn that and get him to agree."

"Lydia… She…"

"She gave her life so that you might live again." Mjoll had looked back up at her, meeting the conflicted redguard's eyes. "All you have to do is decide if you want it."

Serana was almost uncertain how to even begin. The clan had already assembled thanks to Garan's efforts, and yet she knew she must say something to truly begin addressing them. All she'd ever known was the words her father used to get them to listen, but she certainly did not want to repeat his mistakes. Taking in a deep breath to calm herself, uncomfortably alone as she stood on the balcony that overlooked the grand hall, Serana began to speak. "Volkihar," she said, a simple way to address them but it worked. They stared up at her, bloodied and bruised, but no one seemed angry just yet.

"It has come time for change," Serana announced with growing confidence, "My father lead this clan with brutality and deception. He let his insatiable thirst for power guide us, twisting us into true monsters. We are vampires, we are pure, but we must not delude ourselves into thinking we're unstoppable. Lord Harkon is a pile of ash for his arrogance! To darken the sky is to seal our fate, we cannot control all of the mortals, we can't even control a region of them. This is not what vampires were made to do."

Serana looked out into the clan, trying to read their faces but any who were not clearly in favor of her wore masks that could easily be exhaustion or indifference. "We thrive in the shadows, we stalk and hunt our prey and then vanish before we were even known to have been there. That is our way. We do not rule except our own, and any who would dare change that risks all of us. My father believed he could create a new world in which we had dominion over the mortal realm, but he forgot that even if one of us is as strong as a hundred mortal, there are thousands upon thousands of them, and so few of us. We cannot use Auriel's bow for my father's desires, else we will kill ourselves along with the rest of the world."

There were stirrings amongst the vampires, the bosmer Ronthil smiling with approval at Serana while his mentor Feran Sadri appeared less enthusiastic. Garan gave the nord vampire a nod, encouraging her onwards. "Worse yet, my father weakened us in his desire for power, corrupting us to the point we can hardly trust those in our own clan. We are all we have against the Dawnguard threat, and if we're more concerned with political intrigue and small leaps of power then we deserve to fail. The Volkihar clan has been divided for far too long, so caught up with this nonsensical court my father created to keep us from ever truly challenging him, instead wasting our time and efforts on each other."

Her voice rose in fervor, Serana catching sight of Yosa'Min entering the castle along with her two mortal friends, worry prickling up the back of her mind but she remained focused on the task before her. "For those of you that wish to lead, that want to continue my father's games, now is your only chance to leave. There will be no place for backstabbing in this castle from now on, we've destroyed ourselves time and time again, now we must begin to build. We will become great, but not my father's way."

"Your way!" Shouted Garan, a stir rippling out through the gathered vampires. Some shared looks before slowly starting towards the castle doors, Serana disappointed but unsurprised.

"Anyone else?" Serana asked, murmurs growing amongst the vampires. "Good," she said when no response came, "now let's clean up our castle and put my father behind us." Vanishing in a blur of bats, Serana left the clan to dwell upon her clear stance on where the clan should go. Slowly they began to separate, beginning to work on their damaged castle.

Reappearing just outside the shrine to Molag Bal, Serana tried to calm down from the rush of nerves she felt. Before she had a chance however, Vex's voice took her by surprise. "Nice speech," the imperial praised, arms crossed as she leaned against the door.

"Thanks…" Serana replied slowly, straightening up.

"Let's hope you're good for your word though," added Vex as she drew closer, confusing Serana until she noticed Yosa'Min approaching with Iona and Mjoll. "Yosa," greeted Vex, the redguard rushing forward and pulling them both into a hug, one on each arm. They were both blinking as she stepped back, Vex blushing almost as Serana tried to catch up with the emotional shift. "Hey… Are you okay?"

"I will be," Yosa'Min replied, "are you two alright? The clan seems to have accepted you're the leader now Serana." The brunet nord could almost detect pride in her voice but there was something else that alarmed her.

With a nod, Serana gave a slight smile. "With Garan's help." Her expression faltered as she continued, Vex's presence a clear reminder of the choice about to present itself, if she didn't tell her Vex surely would and the sire did not want those words coming from another. "Yosa'Min… we need to talk."

"They have a cure," Yosa'Min said, not moving from Mjoll or Iona.

Burning eyes flickered over them, Serana giving a slow nod. "Vex informed me. I- I just want you to know that no matter what you decide, I'll support you. I want you to be happy, I made the choice for you to become a vampire, it's not my choice that you remain one. Just know that whatever you decide I'll be there for you so long as you'll have me. I... I don't want to lose you. But we could have a real life here now with my father gone, you could help me make this place something amazing! We could be happy." She swallowed dryly, uncomfortable with so many strangers around but not truly caring with Yosa'Min there.

She couldn't lose her.

"Divines…" Yosa'Min smiled as she stepped forward and pulled Serana into a proper hug, the nord holding onto her tightly. "You're the best sire a fledgling could ask for."

Serana couldn't bring herself to let go. "I'll get even better I promise. With father gone we don't have to worry, you can figure out how to be a vampire at your own pace. We could go somewhere, just the two of us with no worries until you're confident in yourself. We can do whatever you want Yosa!"

Yosa'Min pulled back, and shook her head. "I can't be this anymore Serana."

All the hope and joy she'd been building shattered, Serana struggling to keep the supportive smile upon her face. "Are you sure?" She asked softly after a minute,

"I am. Mjoll, Iona, Vex... Lydia… Everything they've given, they've done… Serana they're right I'm changing. I'm me one minute and someone else the next. I can't remember things I know happened because I wouldn't be here otherwise, but I can recall every bad thing with such clarity. Something is wrong with me, I can feel it deep inside of me. I can't be this thing."

Tears welled in Serana's eyes but she fought them back, trying to support Yosa'Min, trying not to show how much it hurt to hear those words. "Am I a thing? A monster?"

Shaking her head rapidly, Yosa'Min took hold of Serana's hands. "You are beautiful and powerful and a true friend. If I were to ever serve someone it would be you, without a doubt. This is just not my path, what I am now is not me. The Yosa'Min I was before might not even be around anymore, but I can feel myself changing. Every few seconds something else gets locked away, and it's getting harder to unlock those memories." She paused for a second, before whispering softly, "My own brother cannot stand what I am now."

"Did I fail you?"

Yosa'Min squeezed Serana's hands, trying to reassure her. "No. You saved me, you changed me, but my life isn't here… it isn't with you."

Serana gave a jagged sigh, looking down at their hands. "I understand," she whispered painfully. The part of her that had been expecting this outcome hurt along with the rest of her, Serana struggling for several minutes to accept what was happening. "Please Yosa, just don't forget about me once you're mortal again."

Cupping the nord's cheek so as to make her look at her, Yosa'Min smiled. "I could never forget you… you're my sire."

"And you're my fledgling," replied Serana as she pulled her in for another hug, burying her face in the shorter woman's hair. "From now until the world is swallowed whole."