Beca had been journaling for the past 2 hours. It was 2am when she started, but she just needed to write at that moment. If she didn't do it right then she felt like she would lose her courage to face the issue and end up acting like it never existed and forever be stuck in her situation. She needed to write it down now, so when she would reread it multiple times later that same day she would maybe take action. It was nearing 4am and her jumbled typing of her thoughts was starting to slow as her mind was becoming clouded with sleep deprivation. Every few seconds her eyelids would slowly close and take another few seconds to open back up before she shook her head trying to will her sleep away. She fought the losing battle for a good 30 minutes before deciding to leave her desk and slip under her covers. Being extremely drowsy she didn't think of closing word as her playlist on youtube playing in the backgroud kept her laptop on. It was with that incident Beca would realize years later that was another life shifting moment.

6 hours later

Beca awoke with Charlie Puth's- We don't talk Anymore easing her out of her sleep. She started to chuckle at the irony of this song playing as her early morning journaling escapade floated back into her memory. It was this exact song that even got her thoughts running and the rest was history as her fingers flew across her keyboard in the wee hours of morning. Slowly rising from her bed and stretching as much as her body would allow she stalked over to her desk. Before reading her entry she decided to save her progress. She reread the journal at least three times and doing slight editing to make her thoughts more clear so when she reread it later it would make more sense. This was her process. Being satisfied with what she had written not adding more she proceeded to password lock the entry before closing the program. She felt happy having written down her thoughts that usually consumed her before she forced herself to sleep. Most people thought she used music as her only outlet, but on rare occasions journaling was more satisfying than mixing. Of course she did not indulge this information to others seeing as having this one secret was her guilty pleasure.

After all signs of sleep faded away from the DJ as she went through her morning routine, she decided it was time to get her some nutrition. Upon descending the staircase she took note of her redheaded roomie with a very concentrated look on her face and became concerned. She quickly decided to first get herself as she referred to it as "heaven in a cup" before seating herself next to the girl on their couch.

Beca: Hey Red!

No response.

Beca: (leaning forward and waving her hand in front of Chloe's face) Hey there Space Cadet, wanna come back to Earth? (Giggling lowly)

Chloe: (jumping at the intrusion and placing her hand over her heart) Oh shit Bec, when did you get here?!

Beca: Just now (lopsided grin) What's got you lost in space Chlo?

Chloe: oh…..(barely audible) it's nothing (avoiding Beca's gaze)

Beca: (speaking softly) Like I believe that Beale. Come on now you know you can talk to me about anything, right?

Chloe: (locking her eyes with Beca's) Of course. I…I…promise you won't get mad? (Whispering and now looking away)

Beca: I promise (extending her pinky out for Chloe to know she was serious)

Chloe: (Chuckling at Beca's childlike nature with her pinky promise before locking pinky's with the girl) And to let me finish talking before you say anything?

Beca nodded her head before lifting her thumb to Chloe's to seal the deal.

Chloe: (releasing a breath before looking into Beca's eyes) I know how much you treasure your privacy and I didn't mean to invade. It's just curiosity got the best of me (at this time Beca cocked her head to the side clearly confused about what Chloe was talking about) So this morning around 9 I was up thinking about breakfast when I noticed you weren't out of your room yet I decided I would go check if you wanted to accompany me to grab brunch at Vinny's. Well anyways when I entered your room I noticed you were obviously still in dreamland, but then I noticed that your computer was playing music and that you had word open. (Beca now realizing where Chloe was going visibly swallowed wanting to bolt, but staying immobile willing herself to keep her promise to let Chloe finish talking) At first I didn't mean to read anything, I was just going to close your laptop thinking you accidently left it open. But then I saw my name. And before I noticed what I did I had already scrolled to the top of the page and was now sitting at your desk. I tried to tell myself to just walk back out your room, but I just needed to know why my name was there so I ended up reading what you wrote. I'm so sorry for betraying your trust Becs (breaking her gaze with Beca and now staring at her finger trying to keep her tears at bay) I know you pinky promised to not get mad, but I know I deserve it and….and I'll do anything you want me to do. I really am sorry. (Biting her lip now glancing every few seconds toward Beca waiting for her response)

After 5 minutes

Beca: (whispering more to herself but loud enough for Chloe to hear) I'm not mad.

Chloe: (whipping her head to face Beca but still having difficulty keeping eye contact) you're not?

Beca: No. (Giving a slight smile) Just a little upset.

Chloe: oh…I really am sorry. You probably want your space now, I…I'll just go now (slowly getting up)

Beca: (realizing Chloe misunderstood her statement she grabbed her wrist) Wait Chloe that's not what I meant.

Chloe now cocked her head with a questioning look

Beca: (lifting her other hand and sticking out her pinky and with a shy smile) Let me explain myself?

Noticing the small smile on Beca's face Chloe locked her pinky and nodded and settled herself back on the couch facing Beca.

Beca: (taking a deep breath before speaking) I'm not mad. I'm actually a bit glad you read that. I had actually planned on talking to you about what I wrote so you reading it made it easier for me.

Chloe: Then why are you upset?

Beca: Cause now you know I journal and it just so happens you also found out I used to write some corny poems when I was younger.

Chloe: Corny?! I actually thought it was a very touching poem. Did you write if for Jesse?

Beca: Um not really… (Rubbing her neck)It was actually for this girl I used to talk to and we had some serious talks and I just thought I liked her. It was around that time I started questioning myself about the feelings for Jesse. I wrote it thinking of her, but when I read it over I realized I actually didn't like her in that sense and that I was simply portraying what I thought unrequited love felt like. I never felt my heart swell with her nor did I feel anything when she kissed me during a game of spin-the-bottle.

Chloe: Oh…aww Becs you're such a hopeless romantic

Beca: No I'm not. (Mumbling with a defeated tone)

Chloe: You so are. I mean you wrote it yourself that you're waiting for something special and you write poetry.

Beca: I used to write poetry.

Chloe: You don't anymore? Why not?

Beca: I stopped in high school. I just never felt inspired to write anymore and it was also around that time I picked up DJing.

Chloe: Can I read some of your other poems?

Beca: I guess so since you already know about them. But I think we've avoided it long enough now. We need to talk about the last part of my journal.

Chloe: There's nothing to talk about.

Beca: But I wrote that I think I'm love with you.

Chloe: I know. I'm in love with you Becs, have been for couple years now. But you also wrote you don't want to pursue things with me until you have things figured out and I can respect that. Take your time I'm not going anywhere, I haven't yet.

Beca: Really?!

Chloe: Yes, you're worth waiting for. (Flashing a shy smile as her cheeks started to tinge red)

Beca leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Chloe's lip before whispering "Thank You"

A week passed since that talk and the whole time Beca couldn't keep Chloe out of her mind. She could still feel the electricity on her lips from when she kissed Chloe. The moment that happen her heart swelled and she instantly knew Chloe was the something special she had been waiting for her whole life. She wanted to just jump the gun when it happened, but she also knew Chloe did want her to think it through. So that is why it is a week later and Beca is now formulating a plan to let Chloe know. She didn't care to put a label on her sexuality all she wanted to be labeled as was "Chloe's." So here we are now. Just like a week ago Beca was descending the stairs and saw the love her life sitting on their couch lost in thought.

Beca: Hey Red.

Again no response

Beca: (chuckling at the déjà vu moment and started to lean in but instead of waving her hand at Chloe she placed a kiss on her cheek) Care to join me here on Earth? (Smiling so lovingly at Chloe she had a twinkle in her eye)

Chloe: oh… (Realizing what Beca had just done she reached a hand to her cheek as a small smile played at her lips) Hi to you too.

Beca: So remember how I told you I'd let you read some of my poems.

Chloe: uh…huh

Beca: Well I have one I want you to read (passing a paper she had written down the poem on over to Chloe)

You

I don't know how and I don't know why

But I do know I fell for you.

I didn't notice the things I did

But I did notice it was all for you.

I can't comprehend what exactly my mind is thinking

But I know its thinking of you.

You, that's what my world revolves around

And I don't know what to do about it.

You send me into a whirlwind of emotions

And I don't know how to get out of it.

You have become my every thought

And I just want control of it.

I want my life and thoughts back

But most of all I just want you.

Chloe: (Smiling broadly) does this mean what I think this means?

Beca simply nodded her head and the next moment Chloe was in her arms and pulling her into a kiss full of love. After a bit the pair separated and leaned their foreheads against each other staring deeply into the others soul. Beca whispered "You are my something special" before placing a kiss on Chloe's forehead and embracing her love; no longer needing words for this life altering moment.

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The poem in this one is once a again a personal writing of mine.