The Vessel
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Rama Pestage is currently on his back, balancing on his lavender exercise ball. His pale face is furrowed in deep concentration, while the tips of his white toes are working to keep the rest of his body from the carpeted floor.
He is pondering the greatest question in his life.
How do I get my parents to kiss?
His parents are Emperor Palpatine and Sate Pestage. They do not live together like grandfather and grandmother; his sire lives in his palace, while his father live in their apartment. They are not married like grandfather and grandmother; although, Kinman, during their Naboo lessons, told him that his father wishes he was sire's wife.
But most importantly, they do not kiss like grandmother and grandfather.
"Kissing," his grandfather regaled to him at the last family reunion, "is the bridging of two soulmates!"
His grandfather's words have haunted him ever since.
I know sire and father are soulmates, but they've never kissed…
At least in Rama's life. But he has a feeling that they haven't kissed before he was born.
Because if they did, then they would be kissing all the time.
Rama is certain of that. Absolutely certain. But they have never realized that themselves.
It's because they're too busy running the Empire to realize. They don't have time to think about bridging their souls together.
Though Kinman has told him that his father wouldn't mind doing the horizontal tango with sire.
So it is up to me to help them! But how? Should I use the Force? No, I'm not strong enough to compel someone as smart as sire. Should I use Vader? No, he's away quashing a rebellion. Should I use the Red Guard? No, I don't think they're verse in romance.
It takes another hour before he comes up with a plan. A full-proof plan that has no chance of failure. A plan that brings an excitable smile to his thin face.
Mr. Jade has the day-off, so his father brings him to the palace. Rama did what he normally did at the palace.
He reads a book.
He plays with Heartless.
He practices writing Naboo.
He listens to his father and Kinman bicker.
He takes a stroll in the royal gardens.
He naps on his father's lap.
He stares into the eyes of a Red Guard.
Finally, he eats lunch.
It is after his lunch of snapped peas and tofu nuggets that he finally puts his plan in motion. His father likes to unwind after lunch with a glass of wine.
Rama knows exactly how to get a sip of his father's wine. All he has to do is lay his tiny head on his father's lap and look at him with watery green eyes. It takes even less with Vader.
But he is not here for wine.
Rama is here for the kisses of his father and sire. He nudges his father's purple-robed leg with his long nose.
"Oh, you want up, my little snowy nexu?" Rama nods; his father picks him up and plops him on his lap.
"Do you want something else, Rama?" Rama gives him a bashful smile that would melt any mortal's heart.
"A kiss, please, father." And he gets what he wants.
Rama gets into the throneroom by staring at the Red Guards guarding the throneroom entrance. It's been this way for as long as he can remember.
The long, dimly-lit hallway to the Emperor's throne causes nervous knots in Force-nulls. But for Rama, it always fills him childish anticipation because he gets the treat of seeing his sire again.
And after a few minutes, he sees his sire sitting on his plain, black throne in his plain, black robes. Right now, his hood is down to reveal his true face.
His sire likes to unwind after lunch with a glass of wine sans the lunch. His sire is enjoying his blossom wine like the Naboo that he is. Sometimes, Rama may get a sip of his wine, but only after successfully playing sire's games.
Today, Rama will not play his games.
I have a secret. Secret. Secret.
Oh, child, what is your secret?
A secret that must be whispered.
You're whispering now.
Whispers require vocalization.
His sire's thin lips curl into an amused leer. He is willing to play Rama's game. He beckons his child forward with a spidery wave. Rama walks until he's only six steps from the throne.
What is your secret?
I whisper quite softly, so you won't hear it from there.
The leer has not faded from his sire's deeply furrowed face, but there's a dark gleam in those golden eyes.
Then come closer, child.
And Rama does, he's only an arm's length away from touching his sire.
You still won't be able to hear me from there.
Then, how can I?
Bend down.
Now, his sire's leer turns into a sneer.
Secrets require whispers, and whispers require ears.
It takes half of beat of his black heart for him to bend forward for Rama. His child gives him a quick peck on his lips and then whispers his secret.
"Father just kissed you, sire!" And then Rama scampers away like a little streak of light.
From Rama's third eye, he can see the surprise in his father's golden eyes.
Rama returns to his father's office. His father is reading something annoying on his datapad; he can tell because his father's pinched lips are in a deep frown. Yet, the frown disappears when he sees him.
"Back already? Couldn't find the meaning of life in those Red Guards' eyes?" His father teases. He shakes his snowy head with a grin splitting his little face.
"I have something to give you, father." Rama says and saddles up to his father's side. His father picks him up without question and sits him on his lap.
"Oh, what do you have to give me?" His father's dark eyes are full of love. Rama then stands on his father's lap and gives him a kiss.
"I gave you sire's kiss!" His father's face twists into confusion and then softens into a red blush.
"W-What?" Rama gives him another kiss before explaining.
"You two are so busy that you've no time to kiss each other, so I'll do it for you!" His father's face completely flushes.
"An indirect kiss….." His father mumbles and touches his lips with his own hand.
"Yes, I am the vessel to bring your souls together. Now, do the horizontal tango with me, so I can give it to sire!" Rama innocently chirps. The redness disappears from his father's face and is replaced with white-hot rage.
"KINMAN!"
Author's Notes: No links this time.
Don't worry, folks, Kinman isn't going to die; he's just going to get stabbed a bunch. It's pretty much the same old song and dance between Sate and Kinman. I didn't really know how to end this one-shot, but I wanted to end it with Sate blaming Kinman for this. Which it kind of is.
And this marks the first time that I have ever written Sheev Palpatine/Darth Sidious/Emperor Palpatine as a character instead of as a reference. Hopefully, I get better at writing his character because he's insanely hard to write. Luckily, Rama is there to give me some cute, mutant help!