After a few days of being confined to his and Hephaestion's rooms to recover from his bout of fainting and cramps, Alexander was going mad with the inactivity. He also missed Hephaestion terribly. Everywhere he looked there were reminders of his lover: the hairbrush on the vanity, the scented oils in the bathchamber, the stacked documents on the desk. Everywhere he looked, there was something. Alexander hated it.

"Ptolemy! PTOLEMY!" finally, one day, Alexander broke from his confinement and opened the door, screaming out into the corridor.

Both Ptolemy and Cleitus were not far off, and so heard Alexander's scream. Fearing that Hephaestion was with him, they ran to the room, only to find the room empty save for Alexander.

Alexander, however, was shaking visibly and nearly in tears. Cleitus slowly went to him, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and hugging him close, understanding why Alexander was upset.

Alexander buried his face into the warm shoulder offered to him and sobbed, his heart aching as it was torn asunder.

"I know, Nephew, I know. Shh..." the older man offered what little comfort he could.

"I need him, Cleitus. I need him. Gods, when in Hades did I become so dependent on that man? It feels like I can not go a day without him..."

"Shh... This is only Little Alexander letting you know he is inside you. All will be well again soon, I promise."

Alexander shook his head against the broad shoulder, sniffling, "No it won't, Uncle... My babe will never know his father... And I will surely die!"

"No, you will not."

This new voice startled them all, and Ptolemy, who was leaning against the doorjamb, whipped around before a dark cloud of anger covered his face. However, he did not get to say a word before Alexander gave a cry of joy and was rushing across the room and into the man's arms. Ptolemy tried to coax him away, but instead caught Cleitus' eye as the man silently gave a shake of his head.

Both men turned to witness the reunion that was happening in the doorway.

"Phai, I missed you so..." Alexander sighed happily, his head laid on Hephaestion's breast as he hugged his lover tightly and impossibly close.

"I missed you too, Love."

At the endearment, Alexander pulled away, looking into Hephaestion's ocean-blue eyes sharply, frowning just a little, "You have no right to call me that after what you did to us," here he cupped his belly, and Hephaestion's eyes followed his movements, seeing the small bump that had started to form on Alexander's lower abdomen for the first time.

After admiring it for a moment, he looked back up into the eyes that reminded him of day and night, "I know I don't, L-Xander, but please hear me out."

Alexander stared at the taller man before nodding his consent, waving Ptolemy and Cleitus out of the room. They both went, albeit reluctantly, and Cleitus shut the door behind him.

As soon as the door was shut, Alexander moved to sit on the bed, his feet sore and already swollen from his pregnancy. When he was settled, he again looked up at Hephaestion, who had moved with him, but had wisely not sat down.

"Speak," Hephaestion winced internally at the command in Alexander's voice, a tone that he had thought would never be turned on him, at least not privately.

He bent down in the Persian fashion of proskynesis, "My king, what I did was inexcusible and is punishable by banishment. I know this, and yet I commited this crime. I have cast myself at your feet and beg for your forgiveness."

"You are not forgiven, at least not yet. However, if you tell me why you did it, I may allow you into my chambers once more."

Hephaestion had flinched visibly upon hearing he was not forgiven, but breathed a loud sigh of relief upon learning that he could work his way into Alexander's good graces again. He cast his eyes up briefly before beginning to speak, and saw that Alexander had a protective hand splayed over his developing belly. It hurt Hephaestion to realize that Alexander was protecting Hephaestion's own son from him. His gaze went higher, and he saw that Alexander's own eyes were stormy with mistrust, and that his gaze was cold. Finally, he lowered his eyes and began to speak again.

"My lord, I know that my behavior was reprehensible, and not at all something you allow in the men of your army, but in the time since you told me of your condition, as well as my part in it, I came to realize just how much danger you were in of not living long enough to see it through. This frightened me, so I began acting out in hopes I could distance myself from you, and, having done that, it was my hope that it would not pain me so much when you passed on into Hades," Hephaestion was weeping now, the very thought of what he had just voiced tearing at his soul. He finally looked up without fear, tears cascading down his face, "I am so, so sorry, Alexander..." he voice was a whisper, his tears hindering anything more, "I never meant to cause you pain... But I have, and I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you if I must... Please, forgive me."

Alexander, seeing that his lover was truly repentant, opened his arms wide, "Come here, Hephaestion," his lover stood quickly and went willingly into his arms, sobbing into his chest, murmuring apologies over and over again, "Hush... It's all right, it's all right... Wasn't it you who said that nothing would happen to me? And I believe you, totally and completely. With you by my side, anything is possible. Our little boy is proof of that. Hush..."

After many minutes, Hephaestion calmed his tears and pulled away from his lover, wiping at his eyes, the kohl lining them smeared almost beyond recognition.

"Do you hate me?" he asked in a small voice, almost not wanting to know the answer.

Alexander smiled fondly at his lover's uncertainty, "I could never hate you, Phai," his look became serious in a moment, "But that does not mean that I forgive you."

Hephaestion winced again and then gave an almost imperceptible nod, accepting this fact.

"I'm so sorry, Xander..."

Alexander leaned forward carefully and kissed Hephaestion's brow softly, pulling away after a long moment, "I know you are. Now, would you like to sleep beside me tonight?" he rubbed the empty space beside him, as if inviting Hephaestion onto the bed.

"It is more than I could have ever hoped for, Xander," Hephaestion smiled weakly, looking up at his soulmate.

Alexander reached down to him, a half-smile gracing his lips, "Come then. My Phai. My Love. Come, and put your fears to rest with the help of sleep."

Hephaestion gladly did what Alexander suggested, and they both fell to sleep facing each other but not touching. However, both men knew that this was the start of a new beginning for them both.