I know some people wondered why I chose Johnny for this fanfiction considering the topic. However, my reasoning was simple. Sometimes it is the people you expect the least that engage in self-harm.

Again, this is a sensitive topic so please read with care.

Thank you all for the reviews!

Ashamed and embarrassed by his actions, Johnny was trying to figure out how to get out of meeting up with Roy for breakfast the next morning. Still not having thought of any good excuse, he quickly grabbed his camping gear, along with the bare necessities around 6:30 a.m. and headed to a nearby camping spot.

I feel bad for just taking off and not letting him know, but I just can't face Roy right now. He'll come into the apartment and see the camping stuff is gone after I don't answer for a bit anyway. When I get back, I can just say I got bored and took off without thinking. I'm sure he'll believe that, Johnny thought on the drive up. Hopefully, I can figure out what to do while I'm away. I mean, I don't have to check in with Doctor Brackett for 12 more days. Surely by then, I'll have figured something out.

During the next five days, Johnny spent most of the time just staring out over the small lake or at his fire. Swimming, hiking, or any of his usual activities just didn't have any appeal to him. All the while, he thought long and hard about how to avoid Roy until he was back at work. Soon, his conscience forced him back to Carson, knowing that even with Roy likely knowing he had gone camping, his friend would be concerned about him. Quickly showering and double checking the work schedule to make sure A-shift was off, John called Roy.

"Hey," Johnny tried to sound cheerful when Roy came on the phone.

"Where on earth have you been?" a concerned voice asked. "I called you a bunch of times, finally went over and saw that you went camping. You normally tell me where you're headed."

"Sorry, it was just last minute. I was bored just sitting around and I was feeling fine except for dealing with the cast. I couldn't stand being cooped up anymore."

A deep sigh was heard.

"I get it. Just next time, let someone know, please?"

"Yeah, yeah," Johnny rolled his eyes.

"Would you like to come over for supper? Joanne is making pot roast and there is plenty to share," Roy voice fluctuated as he tried to entice his friend to come over.

In the time Johnny had been off for his injury, he and his family had maybe seen him twice. Considering thry saw him at least once a week or more when possible, all of the DeSoto's were sorely missing Johnny.

"I actually already ate," lied Johnny, not wanting to face the DeSoto's.

"Oh, okay," Roy said, disappointment clear in his voice.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I guess we just miss you over here."

"Sorry," Johnny apologized again. "Look, I should get the camping stuff cleaned up so I'll talk to you another time."

"Sure."

Roy was clearly puzzled now. Before he could say anything else, he heard Johnny say a quick good-bye and hang up. Concerned, he stared at the phone and shook his head.

Over at Johnny's apartment, John let out a deep breath, That was harder than I expected it to be. Just can't hurt myself for a while, then I can talk or visit with them again. Otherwise, I go there now, Roy and/or Jo will read me like a book and know that something is going on. Can't be too hard to do that, right?

Deciding that he was making a big deal over a couple of slip ups, Johnny chose to put the two incidents out of his mind. However, as it turned out, controlling the urge to quiet the voices and memories running through his mind anyway possible was a lot more difficult than he had ever expected. Within the next week, he had given in to the call of the blade and cut three different times.