Again, please use caution while reading.
I also wish to thank everyone for the kind reviews!
The next three weeks passed slowly to Johnny and the night before his first shift back, he found himself pacing his apartment. Despite having run two miles that afternoon in an attempt to get rid of the excess nervous energy, John still felt uneasy about returning to work. Every fourth lap around the apartment or so seemed to wind up with him in the bathroom, fighting with himself.
"Darn it, Gage," he berated himself. "You give in and something happens at work, everyone is gonna find out just how messed up you are!"
Slamming the door behind him for yet another time, Johnny began pacing again. Finally, around 3 am, he sat on the couch and shortly thereafter, fell headlong into sleep. For a few hours, he was able to find peace before dreams of people screaming as the smoke overtook them and cooked their lungs or of family members who stood nearby, crying and begging the fire department to move faster. Yelling at them when their loved one was one of the lost, not able to comprehend at that moment that everyone was a victim of the arsonist.
Gasping for air as those memories flowed through him, Johnny swore he could almost smell the burnt buildings and worst yet, the burnt flesh. Looking at the clock, he decided it wasn't worth trying to sleep again just to get up in half an hour, so Johnny pulled himself up. Quickly getting ready for his shift, he noticed he still had 45 minutes until he had to be at the station, so in an effort to distract his mind from gruesome thoughts, John tidied up the apartment. Unfortunately, with all the nervous energy he has had lately, it didn't take long as it was already unusually organized and neat.
"Forget it," he angrily bit off. "I'll just head in now and take the long way. Then, I shouldn't be too early."
With that plan in place, he headed off in his Rover, muttering a prayer that the upcoming shift would not only be calm, but would go quickly - two things that never seemed to be actually possible at once.
Forty minutes later, Roy came into the kitchen and found all but Captain Stanley sitting around the table, waiting for the daily briefing on the arsonist.
"Hey partner," he greeted Johnny cheerfully, watching to see how he reacted.
"Morning," John muttered as he looked up briefly from the paper he had buried himself in to avoid contact with the others.
"Been here a bit?" Roy casually inquired, sipping his hot coffee carefully.
Shrugging, Johnny didn't answer.
"John actually was here not long after I got in," Mike volunteered.
Since Mike was second in command, he felt it was best to set a good example to the crew and was usually in around the same time as the captain or shortly thereafter. That meant getting ready and to the firehouse a full forty-five minutes ahead of time for him, but to Mike, it just was practice should he ever have the desire to become a captain himself.
"You should have seen Gage when he went for a cup of coffee. Somehow the phantom set up a water trap and the pigeon dodged it!" Chet's voice was mired in both admiration and disgust. It had been the perfect trap and he couldn't believe how Johnny effortless dodged it.
Rolling his eyes behind the paper, John continued his silence. As the men caught up about what they did on their days off, Captain Stanley walked in and indicated for the men to follow him to his office. It was tight quarters for a meeting, but it would allow the outgoing shift time for coffee and their own meeting before the shift ended if no runs occurred. Considering that it shouldn't take too long to update his men about the latest developments of what the media had dubbed the Chaos Arsonist, it was a small price to pay to help out the other shift.
"First of all," Cap said. "Welcome back, John. You've been missed."
A round of back slaps and greetings followed, but quickly faded as the each person noticed how uncomfortable Johnny was with the attention.
Quickly getting back to the agenda, Hank resolved to find time to speak to John in a more formal setting, hoping that it might convince him to talk more.
"There may be good news in relation to the arsonist. An anonymous sketch and a note with details about the last fire a couple weeks ago was forwarded to about four police departments. Each was nearly identical and the reason they feel there are differences is due to the fact they were done individually. The police feel that this is a valid lead, despite the fact no one actually came forward. According to the police, the person is scared of coming forward as they don't know any information besides what they gave. They are willing to do so once the arsonist is caught."
Passing around a sketch, Cap instructed, "I'd like you to continue doing your jobs, but keep an eye out for the person. If you see him, inform an officer. They will be looking for him as well. The person who gave the tip feels that someone may have been waiting with a car or a car was parked close by considering the amount of stuff that was being carried. Of course, that was a strip mall fire, so a smaller fire may be different.
"Just be careful out there. I know that we all know the arsonist never lasts for much more than two weeks before striking again, so be cautious," Hank said as he saw the clock move forward. "Let's meet in the bay and I'll assign chores once I inform C shift they are free to go whenever they wish."
Once the chores were assigned, Hank asked Johnny to see him in his office.
"I just wanted to see how things were going," he asked as he closed the door. "I know with the arsonist still loose, that has likely got to be tough on you."
Shrugging, Johnny looked down at his shoes before looking past his Captain, "I guess I'm a bit nervous. I just got this feeling that something will happen today with him. I mean, the timing is right. Otherwise, I think once I get back into the swing of things, I'll be okay."
"You sure?" Hank tried and failed to look into his eyes.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm hating the fallout from the arsonist, but I'm camping and cleaning a lot, which helps focus my mind," John told him, leaving out the other coping mechanism he had stumbled on.
Just please, no one figure that out and let me get through this shift without needing it, he prayed as his Captain debated the validity of his statements.
"Alright, go get the dorm done. And remember, you can see me anytime to talk with me."
Nodding, Johnny escaped out the door and in no time, was through with his assigned chore. It was just in time as he and Roy were called to a man down rescue. It turned out that a male had wanted to impress his girlfriend by showing off high diving moves and had tried jumping off the roof of his house into the in ground pool. Initially, only his legs went in the pool, but by the time the rescue squad got there, he had fallen into the pool completely. It took an hour of carefully moving him onto a backboard, then inserting a tube to breathe for him and stabilizing him with medications before they could head to Rampart.
Just before the noon hour, a call for a heart attack came in, but when it turned out to just be heartburn, the woman signed the waiver, stating she'd go to her own doctor if she felt worse. Relieved, Johnny was happy that for the most part the shift had been quiet. Unfortunately, at 2:33 Station 51 and Station 16 were called out to a freeway accident. Arriving, Johnny jumped out and hauled out the trauma box, following Cap's instructions to check the station wagon. Seeing the pile-up, John paused, his mind taking him back to the last accident he had responded where so many lives were changed forever.
Shaking his head, he continued onward, unaware that Captain Stanley had seen the pause.
I knew that you were having a harder time than what you would admit to, Hank thought as he continued directing the scene. I just wish you'd open up to someone. So many people are willing to do so if you just say the word.
After three hours on the scene, the men headed back, tired and hungry. With luck on their side, all got a shower and a chance to eat. At 9:30 pm, everyone headed to bed early, praying for a quiet night.
It was not to be as the arsonist struck at 12:47, and they, along with three more stations, were called out to a giant warehouse that stored fabrics and clothing. Half of it was devoted to the manufacturing of said clothing. It took an exhausting five hours to put out and find all remaining hot spots. The only positive news came from the fact an officer had spotted the person from the sketch. However, as suspected, there was a getaway vehicle and only a partial license plate was gotten.
Since the end of their shift was so close, the Chief stood the responding stations down. It gave everyone a chance to shower, eat and relax. It also gave everyone a chance to talk before heading off shift on time for the first time in months.
Although everyone else was willing to share more of their angry, resentment and also hope that the latest piece of new information would help, Johnny held himself back. He wasn't quite sure how to respond to this. His mind was spinning too fast for much to process.
"I just hope that the guy doesn't ditch the car," Johnny admitted. "I guess that's my main thought now."
Nodding, Cap allowed that statement, glad at least John had something to say. Once everyone seemed to have wound down and the B-shift came in, he asked if everyone wanted to meet up somewhere for breakfast.
"Not me, I'm too exhausted," John told them after everyone else agreed.
Although everyone tried to get him to change his mind, it was set. He just wanted to go home and forget this day had happened.