Story Title:

Confusion

Previous Chapter:

I redid it. Not much changes but I try.

Warnings:

Oocness, mentions of rape, Slash, FemSlash, major character death (maybe), Light!Bashing (slight), Godmother!Bellatrix. Powerful!Harry.

DH and HBP spoiler alerts.

Disclaimer:

I do not own Harry Potter, if I do, every single hot male in the story would have a taste of Harry.

Commentary:

I like Bellatrix, motherly Bellatrix makes me coo.

Ramblings:

I know my English are not up to the levels of some Harry Potter fanfic writers out there but I am trying to improve it by writing my own fanfics. Criticism is fine, I'll change whatever you are not satisfied with (such as over Oocness) as long as it does not disturb my almost nonexistant plotline. Do you know how hard it is to make Voldemort not Ooc? I'm giving up on that….still he does call Harry Potter, Harry in the book right from the start. Also it has been a long time since I last read the novels or watch the movies. Warnings only on first chapter. Do you guys want Voldemort to gain his old looks back? BTW, Cedric is not dead yet in my story, just a little heads up.

Pairings:

Voldemort/Harry, ?/Harry, Fred/Blaise, George/Draco, Ron/Theodore, Luna/Pansy, Cedric/Rabastan, Hermione/Rabastan

(only non-canon are listed)

Word Count:

3'687

(The min for every chapter is 3'000 except for the Prologue, my other fics min is 1'000. So, no complaining if it is too short for ya.)

Chapter 1: Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black

A four year old boy was sobbing quietly in the seclusion of his cupboard, the beating had hurt and it was the first harsh beating he had received. He was no stranger to the strikes of a blob of fat courtesy of Uncle Vernon but this time the blows dished out was worse. It had never involved kicking before. Merely harsh slaps and he was just about getting used to the numbing pain across his cheeks but he did not think that he would ever get used to this kind of pain, ache.

The lock on the outside of his cupboard door clicked and he looked at it with fearful eyes. Afraid that his Uncle Vernon would demand him of 'it' when his body was throbbing in pain, his throat would always feel sore after that and the taste of it was awful, even if his Uncle Vernon called it his midnight dessert.

The door swung open and standing behind the opened door was no lard of a man but instead a fit male with strange clothing that looked like a robe belonging in the 1600's. An odd mask concealed his face, a hand slowly drew up to it and the mask was taken off, revealing a matured aristocratic face without any expression. Mysterious swirl of smoky black eyes looking at him intensely.

"W-who'r-re y-you?" The boy sniffled in whispered tones.

"...A Death Eater." His voice was rough, yet with tinge of velvety melody. It sounded nice in the young boy's ear.

"Death Eater? Y-you eat-t d-death?" The boy tilted his head.

Amusement shone in the man's eyes and the young one felt his tears go away, he never saw such an expression before, it...makes him at ease. It does not gave him the awful feeling like when Uncle Vernon 'smiled' at him.

When Harry was woken up, by a house elf with familiar eyes, it took several minutes for him to completely pull himself out of the lulling slumber, it was a good rest. One that he had been needed but was deprived of very severely. "Dobby? What are you doing here?" He yawned and stretched.

"Mr. Harry Potter sir, Dobby is a free elf but Dobby's life is tied to Mr. Harry Potter sir. An honour, an honour! Harry Potter sir is residing with the Dark Lord, so there where Dobby shall be~!" The familiar elf said with much excitement in him, he seemed to be awed just by looking at Harry.

"Tied to me? How!?" Confusion was plain on his face.

The house elf was delighted to explain. "A house elf's life force is tied to a wizard or a witch! Th stronger the wizard, the longer the elf lives. But if no master...life force drain and will die Harry Potter sir."

Suddenly the feeling of nausea overpowered him and before he could excuse himself, his legs had already sprinted in the direction of the bathroom. He quickly let the contents of his previous meagre dinner he had, before he managed to stumble upon the residence of the Dark Lord, down into the toilet bowl.

"Harry Potter sir! Is he okay? Dobby bes tell Dark Lord, Harry Potter sir cannot be doing any work!" Dobby rattled but was quieted down by Harry.

"I'm fine Dobby. Just morning sickness, you should go join the other house elves in the manor, leave me be unless I call out for you, is that fine with you?" He tried to reassure the over-panicking elf.

"Yes sir, Dobby bes be going then sir." The the elf disappeared with a snap of its fingers.

When Dobby had apparated away, he wiped his mouth and tried to get over the taste of bile on his taste bud. "Better get ready for the day." He spoke to himself and turned the shower tap for his morning bath and rid of his clothes from his body.

Harry had never planned to meet Bellatrix on the first day he was there, at the ancestral house of the Gaunt, Voldemort's main base. He certainly had not expected to stumble upon her crying out so sadly, woefully. Bellatrix Lestrange was a crazy woman after all, crazy and demented. She almost killed Sirius, his godfather, naturally Harry held a deep contempt towards the mental woman, probably much more if Sirius had died.

He had been cleaning the unused wing of the Gaunt manor, a task assigned by Voldemort and had been told to him by another house-elf to make the unused wing live able. Harry had obeyed despite having to do it alone without any help, it was just cleaning after all. It being an unused one only gave him more relief, he would not be meeting any Death Eaters so soon then.

So why the hell was he looking at woeful Bellatrix with tears running down her cheeks, a letter clutched in her trembling hands in one of the bedrooms of the supposed to be non-live able wing because the bedroom seemed immaculate and with personal touch to it. Gulping he wanted to shut the door back and get away from her as soon as possible but Bellatrix was already turning her head and saw the intruder.

"...Oh..it's itsy bitsy Potter...has my Lord captured you?" She wondered with empty look in her eyes, she did not reached out for her wand Harry observed.

"...you're not going to stunt me, bring me to him and tell him that you caught me sneaking in the manor?" Harry had thought that was what would have happened if he met them on his first day here, surely Voldemort had not told them yet? Unless there was a Death Eater meeting sometime around he had been sleeping.

Bellatrix only smiled, her eyes flickered to everywhere despite her head was faced towards him. "My Lord is not incompetent." She stood up and stride towards Harry, her expression was broken, angry, sad. It scared him but he remained frozen on the spot when she suddenly tugged on his wrist and dragged him to the couch in front of the fireplace she had previously sat at. Suddenly Harry found himself sitting on the couch with her arms wrapped around him like a mother soothing a child.

She screamed, she wailed, she shouted, she cackled. Harry felt his goosebumps raising when she started to coo her words out softly, "Killed him, mine. Gone now. GONE! GONE! Didn't know, mine. Need him. Want him. But gone. Did that." Before it turned into childish delight. "Never mind, will do what he wants. Yes. What he would want. Take care, of Harry, the itsy little Potter."

To say that Harry was scared beyond his wits would be a right description of what he was feeling right then. He does not understand what she had been saying, what was she implying at but he was in Gryffindor and so that meant he had enough bravery to ask her, "W-what?!" He hated that he had stuttered slightly. "What's going on?"

The crazed woman shushed him and handed him the letter.

To my loveliest,

Bellatrix Lestrange

I am sure that a few years had passed since my death, for the moment you opened this letter, I know, is the moment you have finally gotten over the death of someone you 'supposedly' had loved. I know you could love, my dear but I also realized it was not for me, never belonged to me. My feelings for you were so great my dear that when I was away I had begged my brother, who looked so much like me to take my place. I asked of him to woo you on the days I cannot, I asked of him to care for you when I am incapable of doing so and I asked of him to make you fall in love with 'me' during my absence.

The day you told me you had fallen for me was the day of my greatest joy, alas when you described of the qualities and actions I behold and did that has managed to capture your heart forced me to see that the man you had fallen in love with was the other 'me'. My older brother. Sirius Black. He looks so much like me that you had never suspected a thing, for a Gryffindor, he is as cunning, sly and manipulative as a Slytherin. Both the traits you admire in a man.

Yes, my dear Bellatrix, what you have concluded is the truth. The man you had fallen in love with was not me but Siri. I love you and I love him too, despite being disowned by mother he is the only one who had ever been brave enough to defy her and it made me to admire him more. I also realized that he had come to fall in love with you too. Yet, he held it back and never acted on it unless under the pretence of 'me'. He is too honourable and loyal to steal you away from me, so he hid it from me but I could detect the longing in his eyes.

Soon, I came to the conclusion that if I ever died (because I am too selfish to let you go while still being alive) I would let you go to him. I had written this letter and gave this to him, told him that if I ever died then it must be delivered to you. He had protested, telling me that he would not let me die before him and I simply smiled. A rare show of emotion and it shocked him so, I hugged him and told him that I love him, as much as I love you. He is my brother, your love, my idol, your knight. Go to him, be happy, my lovely Bellatrix.

Your deceiving lover,

Regulus Acturus Black

When he had finished reading the letter, his hand was shaking. He just...it is too...it must be... "w-wh...what-t...YOU? AND SIRI? NO! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" Harry pushed the adult off him and escaped from her hold. He backed away far from her, the contempt and disbelief strong in him at the moment. The letter in his hand are not enough of proof.

"Potter find it hard to believe?" Bellatrix tilted her so far sideways it looked like it might fell off to the side.

"YES! YOU'RE MARRIED FOR ONE!" Harry yelled, tearing apart the piece of paper in his hand and threw it on the ground towards her direction. "YOU ALMOST KILLED SIRI! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE YOU!"

Bellatrix stared in horror at the torn piece of paper and screeched with her high pitch voice, lunging forward to grab the letter. "Reggy's memories, how could you Harry! Siri would want to keep this in perfect conditions." She mumbled, scolding Harry as if him reading the letter was enough for her to treat him like a godson. She tutted and flashed her demented smile. "A reparo should do." Pointing her wand towards it and canted. "Reparo papyrus." A string of white light shot from her wand and seemed to act as a glue for the torn paper and reattached the broken fibres of the paper.

Harry was standing silent, his breathing uneven, shallow and short, watching her with barely restricted anger. He was slightly shaking, his mind trying to process and reanalyze everything that was written in the letter, and it led him to feeling excessively mad with her. If Sirius was his godfather and had been in a relationship with her, if (by what she had screamed before it seems very likely) she still have feelings for Sirius then perhaps she thought of herself as his godmother. Not very bloody likely. "He's in St. Mungos. You placed him there." It was a fact and Bellatrix whom claimed to love his godfather should know of it.

He had expected for her to yell in shock and despair but no she had smiled with brilliance, though with a hint of zany, and giggled then blushed. What an expected reaction it almost seemed normal if not for the origin of it. "I can't wait to see him!"

That ticked him off. "I'm his godson and THE Harry Potter, still they won't let me past to see an ex-convict in coma. What more of you! An Azkaban escapee!" He snapped.

The gasped resonated so loudly, Harry would have thought it faked but coming from the quirky woman, he had not trouble seeing it to be honest. "He's not awaken yet?! Must tell My Lord about this. Get Siri out of good for nothing awfully white," Harry snickered hearing that. "-building. Cissy would heal him. Tip top condition in days!" She had walked over to her fireplace. "Will ask favour from My Lord. Will use my favour now."

So Harry watched her threw the floo powder unto the fire and buried her head inside the green flickering flames. He winced, though he knew it did not hurt still seeing someone burying their heads in blazing inferno is not normal, at least not when you're raised by Muggles. He could not hear a word muttered by her though, he had already missed whom she had contacted and he doubt that she would reached the Dark Lord like that to ask for a pesky favour.

Finally she pulled her head out of the fire at the same time that its colour turned back to flickering red and orange. "Potty stay, Mummy go see Dark Lord to rescue Daddy." She sounded so enthusiastic that as mad as Harry was with her, he could not really felt that need to be angry with her for calling him names or labelling herself as his mother. Not that it was reserved for anyone special, Lily Evans was his mother and his mother she shall be. A mother only, he had never known her, his memories of her was not enough for him to feel affectionate to call her anything else, there is gratitude though, in attempting to protect him from the claws of Death.

The sound of the door closing and locking snapped him out of his mulling. "WAIT!" He scrambled over to the door in panic and tried to turn over the handle. Key word: Tried. "Bloody hell! She locked me inside!" He grumbled the obvious situation, kicking the door in frustration. No way was he going to stay in there, doing nothing. He still has job to be done, he waved his wand hand over the lock muttering "Alohamora." As his left hand combed his unruly hair behind in exasperation.

A clicking sound indicated that it had been unlocked, without delay he pushed past the door and walked off, letting the door to slowly swung close behind him. Seriously, who did she think she was to lock him away inside her room? It was fortunate that the Ministry are not able to detect Underage Magic when done wandlessly. Entering the next room that was probably as large as the Dursley's living room times two, maybe three. Well, enough drama and more cleaning. There are still a lot of rooms to be done and he has been doing it all without magic unless to accio the cleaning tools, all the sweeping, cleaning off the spider webs, mopping, wiping the window, etcera was done by himself.

"Tempus." He canted. Checking over the time, he had been cleaning for eight hours straight as it was now already four in the evening, including the short break for two slices of sandwiches Dobby had prepared for him and the treacle tart dessert Kreacher gave him during luncheon hours. Perhaps one more room could be done today, there are still tens of them, he had managed to make five of them liveable. "Yeah, one more couldn't hurt." Harry said to himself as he got up the couch he had sat upon to take in a breath.

But hurt it did though. "Oh, Harry Potter! Good that you're here! Mummy fancy showing you something. Come here, come, come." Disgruntled at being tugged the moment he opened the door and heard her aggravating voice, he allowed the woman to drag him as he had no energy physically and mentally to fend her off. He noticed that instead of heading towards a door, she was pulling him towards one of the drapes decorating the never-ending hallway. She waved her wand to lift the drape and muttered a few words too low for him to hear while waving her wand in a series of complicated movements.

Harry watch in amazement as a walkway was painted and inside was merely a small room containing a Penseive and cabinets with labels bearing the name of the Death Eaters. Though there are only a few names, he assumes the names belongs to the Inner Circle of Voldemort's Death Eaters. Bellatrix took him inside and the walkway vanished, still he was too caught up with curiosity of Bellatrix taking him there to panic over the only exit he knew vanishing as soon as he walked in.

"Look!" She flashed in front of him a tiny vial with white wisp of something that seemed to be experiencing total internal reflection of pure white light. "My memory...took it out so that won't reminisce much, but when miss him. Mummy will watch this through the Penseive." She took the cork off and poured the contents into the Penseive bowl that seemed to be filled with a bluish electric potion.

Then he felt a hand caught him unaware and pushed his head down into it. Just as his mind had processed and decided to thrash away, a scene was already enveloping in front of him. He was not drowning, no, he was inside of a memory he realized. Bellatrix's memories. Harry felt her forming beside him when a feminine hand dropped on his shoulder.

"Watch." She whispered, not looking at him.

Bellatrix was wondering alone in the Forbidden Forest, she had just finished her and she wanted to relax a little bit, taking a stroll seemed nice. Taking a stroll surrounded by darkness without anyone else around sounds nice, she smiled to herself as she cocked her head from left to right, the same thought repeating over and over in her head without giving her surrounding any attention.

That was, until she heard a loud clicking sound and she snapped out of her daydream. A creature Harry recognized as an acromantula was staring at her, it was a large one too. Reflexively, her wand was already drawn out and she canted a "Duro." Immediately the acromantula stone-ified.

Clap. Clap. Clap. "Impressive reflexes." A rather deep and rough voice congratulated and Bellatrix twirled from her position, looking at another student, a male, leaning slightly over a tree trunk. "Evening, Bella." Harry thought that Sirius looked handsome like that, poised like a perfect Pureblood Heir.

Bellatrix raised her eyebrow. "Regulus, stalking me again? Aunt Walburga would get mad at you for trailing me into the Forbidden Forest." It surprised Harry as she seemed more sane in her early years, still the crazed glint in her eyes was a tell-tale.

"Her nagging is worth it, in the efforts of wooing you." Sirius spoke, it was said in a teasing manner, still the look in his eyes told her that he had thought about the consequences seriously and he was already doubting it, still he went for it.

A demented smile made its way on to her face. "Well, what is it this time? Another deathly tomes teaching wicked spells and rituals? A vial of basilisk poison? The skull of some creature I have no care about? Crooked weapons?"

Harry stared in aghast as she listed the possibilities, if that was the gifts Regulus had been gifting to her, there is no wonder, she had not been wooed by him. "No. Just a flower." Well, at least Sirius was sensible. "In a pot."

"That's...unusual of you, Reggy." Bellatrix seemed stunned. "Did you perhaps went to your playboy of older brother, Sirius Black, for advice, hmm?" She tittered. "I hope you know that roses won't effect me, dearie."

Sirius smiled lightly, snickering. "Perhaps, and yes, I know. That's why it is not a bouquet of roses, Bella." He showed her the potted flower, a cloth hiding the type of plant from being seen, until he uncovered it. "It's a Fly Death-Trap."

Such a muggle plant, but of course. It was of the magical breed. "...why a Fly Death-Trap?"

"Because, you're like one." He said mysteriously.

"That was my first pleasant memory of Reggy...or Sirius, as I know now." The reality Bellatrix said to Harry as the scene shifted, her tone was sad, reminiscing.

Harry remained silent, watching another scene unfolding.

It was during the First Rise of The Dark Lord Voldemort. A small scale battle was occurring and Bellatrix was having no problem defeating opponent after opponent, her stance and techniques were almost flawless. She was like a predator, still when four ganged up against her, difficulties are sure to arise.

Harry watch in awe as memory Bellatrix canted "Flipendo." and "Expelliarmus."

"Avada Kedavra." It was not Bellatrix whom canted that Killing Curse, much to the Golden Boy's surprise it was instead a Light Wizard and the target had not noticed the green light heading her direction from her left as she was to concentrated battling a wizard on her left. An unmasked wizard circled his arm around her waist and pulled her away from the path of the green light.

"Relashio." A well-aimed severing charm from the female fighter ended the unknown wizard's life just as fast as the 'Avada' thrown towards her by the wizard would have. "Meticulous timing, Regulus." The witch said, not even sparing a glance towards her rescuer.

A rough chuckle. "Your welcome, my dear." And Sirius unforseenly, blended in again with the crowd, fighting Dark Wizards but always, always avoiding direct confront with the Dark Witch he had helped.

The scene faded and shifted into another memory, so it goes his evening until the night approaches.

"Why were so set on killing my godfather before?"

Bellatrix turned to Harry when the boy spoke as soon as the torrent of memories ended and they were back into reality. "I used to blame him, Potty." Her head was tilted backwards slightly leaning to her left. "I blame him for Reggy's death."

"You blame my godfather? For his own younger brother's death?" Harry scoffed. "What the hell!"

Loud guffaws filled the small chamber and Harry backed away slightly from her. "Funny little Potty. At times of war, even families must be killed if they're on different side. Besides, how do you know, who to trust?" She calmed into titters and Harry slightly panicked when she drew closer to him, when Bellatrix hooked her arm around his was pure oddness and Harry really have no other choice but to follow her footsteps. At least it was the way out.

On to the next chapter.