CHAPTER 2
Gail had been swiveling her roller chair for about forever since she came to work. She was asked to fill up some paper works and Nash has asked her for her statement about one of their recent cases. It only took 30 minutes for her thoughts to wander off to Holly. She can't help it. When these "Holly thoughts" started to haunt her (in a good way, she finally admits) she kept kicking herself and telling herself 'what the hell Gail? Stop it!' But she then grew tired of doing this as it was already obviously futile.
SHE WAS WAY INTO HER ALREADY.
Well it didn't really bothered Gail because she keeps telling herself that maybe she just found just the right person to be around with, someone who gets back at her snarky comments with a witty snarky comment as well (she found herself actually amazed with how Holly can keep up with her), someone who is so damn smart but never made her feel stupid because of that (unless Gail is the one to decide it is so stupid of her), someone who would just know when is when and what is what with Gail, someone that is Holly.
She wandered into her Holly thoughts again and thought back on that two weeks ago in Holly's apartment. She remembered how thankful she was that she had asked Holly if she could stay. The hot choco, the couch, the movie (although she found it so cheezy at first-she never really liked that movie), and of course Holly were all a winner. Grin started overcoming Gail's face when she remembered Holly tearing up in the scene where Jamie and Landon made up after Jamie had decided to kick him momentarily from her life as she caught a glimpse of the brunette sitting just beside her on the couch.
"Are you crying?!" Gail asked really amused while controlling her laughter.
"NO…" denied Holly trying to wipe her eyes subtly.
Gail snorted. She couldn't help it. She found it really endearing though.
"SHUT UP PECK" Holly scowled at Gail pretending to be serious but her sideways smile gave away that she wasn't.
At the end of the movie Gail caught Holly wiping tears from her eyes again.
"Seriously? touchy touchy Dr. Nerd Stewart?" she stared at Holly, the feeling of teasing her was washed away by the feeling of actually comforting her instead.
"What can I do? Hopeless romantic nerd here" Holly pointed her thumbs on herself.
Gail started laughing.
"As much as I love these romantic chick flicks, I think we should try some gory or horror movies next time, see if you can cry on that.
Holly stood up all of a sudden, picking up the used-too-be-filled bowl of popcorn and each of their empty mugs and walked to the kitchen with heavy footsteps implying that she was hurt or offended.
"Fine" she said on her way.
Gail followed her and gave her a teasing smile.
Holly placed the items she was crying in her sink and stared back at Gail with a serious expression.
Gail continuously held the grin on her face. She knows Holly is just playing.
"But you got to admit that there were some moments in the movie when you thought 'geez, this is really tugging on my heart' kind of thing" she bursts out, landing her right hand on top of her chest.
Gail shifted her stance leaning on to the island top in the middle of Holly's kitchen.
"To be honest, I was distracted." Gail confessed.
By this, Holly changed her tone. It became suddenly worrying and caring.
"Why? What was bothering you?" she took a couple of steps towards Gail.
This is one of the things she is beginning to love about Holly. The moment Holly sensed that there is the possibility that there is something wrong with Gail, she can swiftly change from angry, annoyed or whatever state of mind she is into and just focus on the mere possibility that Gail is not okay. It touches her heart in so many ways.
"You, us…" Gail said silently.
She was surprised on the transparency she is showing. She is not usually like this-she is not like this.
There was something in Holly's eyes that showed she understood what Gail was talking about, therefor not a need for further explanation from her.
When Holly didn't say a word, she continued.
"Usually I would brush things off you know. I would just pretend nothing happened. Worst case, I would run, run as far away believing that things might just fizzle out and it will all be back to normal again. But now, I don't want to do that Holly. And I think we both know that this-whatever it is between us has crossed the 'friendship' boundary" Gail finished short of breath after saying all those words. She wonders how Holly does it.
Holly was just there staring at Gail speechless, although obvious that she was trying to find words.
Good, because Gail has more to say.
"You kissed me, I kissed you… although mine was a bit more intense…" she looked up at Holly finding her with the same timid smile they both have as they recall the kiss in the interrogation room.
"I guess what I'm trying to say, or maybe trying to ask is what are we?" Gail is trying to shove the tension building up in her. It is one thing that she is expressing her feelings now but it is another that she is actually ready to deal with them- even if it scares the hell out of her.
Holly, still seemingly trying to find words to spit out moved closer to Gail.
"Well…" she whispered.
She knew she was as nervous as Gail. Holly needs to be careful. They are in this very fragile state that in just one move, it could all be ruined and that is the last thing she wanted to happen.
Gail waited for Holly's words.
Holly looked in Gail's blue eyes taking note on how beautiful they are that anyone could get lost in them.
Holly took in a breath.
"It really depends on you Gail. What do you want us to be? 'Coz you know, I can be your geeky forensic pathologist next door, or your friend friend in the good and the bad days or your… girlfriend-lover…"Holly paused for a violent reaction, when none was given she continued.
"… I don't know Gail it's up to you." She finished.
"That is so fucked up Holly" Gail retorted.
When Holly's frightened expression registered on her face Gail softened a bit.
"I mean, is it just what I want? How about what you want? I want to stop being the person responsible for the resentment from the other end of the relationship because it was only my feelings I've considered."
Gail was surprised. These are all new to her but these feelings are what she is feeling right now and she has discovered that with Holly, she can be totally honest about them.
Again, the understanding from Holly set her expression. She nodded.
"Okay, well…" she took a seat from one of her tall island chairs. Gail did the same.
"If it was really up to me, I would really want us to get to know each other more. Hang out more often share stories of each other, you know, just get more comfortable. And I wouldn't deny my attraction to you any longer Gail coz it is really showing anyways, and I… I like you Gail… so there… I think acknowledging our feelings is a good first step, that there is infact 'something' between us and that is a very good fundamental. By then, we see how it goes? We don't really need to label anything at the moment."
There was silence after that.
Gail found herself relieved with what Holly said. Something about that made Gail feel that there will be no need to run, because whatever they will have in the future is something that wasn't forced or assumed (that from experience, are the causes of her running away).
Gail's turn to nod, "That is what I want too."
They both released their breaths realizing they were both holding them.
"So.." Holly grabbed Gail's hand gently while moving in front of her.
"What you might want to do for now officer is to get some rest, recharge and have a good morning the next day because I believe that no matter what and no matter what we are, we are and will always be alright-or at least, we will find ways to be." She smiled.
She let go of Gail's hand and brought both of her hands on Gail's shoulder brushing it gently from the top to bottom until her hands met Gail's, finally squeezing It gently.
This woman, Gail thought is just so amazing she could tear up then and there because of everything she has said and done.
She was indeed tearing up.
"Always?" Gail asked.
"Always." Holly replied as she wiped the tears that manage to escape from Gail's eyes.
They both then understood that they don't want to hurt each other, and they actually will work things out between them. This is actually more that what they could ask for considering the situation. And that is enough-for now at least.
"And now ladies and gentlemen, here we have our touchy touchy officer Peck!" Holly exclaimed, somewhat mimicking a host on one of those tv game shows.
She nudged Holly, not too strong to hurt her but enough to stop her from her teasing.
"Damn you Stewart I'm going to bed!"
Gail made her way to Holly's bedroom. She already knew where it was as she got herself changed out from her uniform to some comfortable pyjamas Holly has lent her before they started the movie.
"Your bed now officer?!" Holly shouted.
She heard the bedroom door shut.
Holly recalled the moment that just happened. She thought they are both satisfied on how it turned out now. There is no need to rush for anything. They both need time to figure things out. After all, Gail hasn't been with a woman. She wants to give Gail time for her to realize if she is really up for it, because if she isn't and wants to leave, then she'll let her go, no matter how it breaks her at the end.
What is important to Holly right now is that Gail, this person that she has already cared about is okay. She decides she is prepared to do anything just to keep it that way.
She heard footsteps coming out of her room, suddenly the blonde woman emerging with some sheets.
Boy she can really be so ahead of things sometimes.
"I decided I would be friends with your couch Dr. Nerd" she said as she struggles to keep the sheets and pillows in her hands.
Holly then sprinted to the couch and Gail did the same thing the moment she saw Holly.
Holly reached the couch first occupying the whole thing.
"Uh-uh, I will be with my couch tonight officer, no buts. Go back inside the room and sleep" she instructed.
"You're not the boss of me Nerd" she countered.
"Oh nerd only now eh? Where's the doctor? I'm quiet particular with tha…"
Before she finished her sentence she was hit by a pillow on her face.
"Shut up Stewart and get out of my zone!" Gail exclaimed while laughing.
Holly was stopped with shock for a bit, but swiftly grabbed another pillow hitting Gail square on the face as well. They laughed as they continue their pillow battle royale.
"Peck, I need you to come with me" a voice suddenly plucked her up from the past she had visited. She needed to reorient herself before she can reply. Oh, yeah, she is at work in 15.
Gail looked up and saw Nash.
"Come with me, I need you in a new crime scene, as I can see you are very busy just laughing alone there." She said teasingly.
"I was not" Gail retorted. She stood up, and followed her colleague, still smiling deep inside her with the visit in her Holly thoughts land.